Day and Night Sleep Help

Hi
Most babies do not get on a real schedule til about the 12th week... but he sounds a bit like my daughter who was diagnosed with acid reflux. She was a terrible sleeper. Maybe you can get a doc appt to see if maybe he has any symptoms. Reflux can be treated but is h*** o* little ones who find it very hard to console and sleep.
Good luck!

Hey N.! When my son was around your son's age, I had the same issue with him. I could never put him down. I always had to hold him or let him lay on my chest. We found out that he had infantile reflux or also knows as GERD. He had to go on liquid Zantac twice a day. We tried so many different formulas and Carnation Good Start worked best for him along with the Zantac. After medical tests and diagnosed with a textbook case of GERD, he outgrew the reflux by the time he was a year old. I absolutely feel your pain.

If you consider this a possibility, very slightly elevate his crib or bassinet. I do agree that this seems to be very very early for an infant to be diagnosed with reflux, but after watching my son's barium exam, I was amazed to know that infants could have reflux issues. Sometimes infants create more acid in their little tummies than the norm and this caused him a lot of pain in his first few months. The Zantac and Carnation Good Start was a God send!

Here's another idea, wear a t-shirt for a little while to get your 'scent' on it. Then when he's tired, gently swaddle your t-shirt around him so he smells your scent and lay him down. He might think he's still laying on you.

All other suggestions posted are fantastic solutions as well. We had our children on routines very early on, but I do agree that 9 weeks is too early to expect him to be on a regular schedule. Our children started sleeping through the night when they were 3 months old and then on their own, they began to get on a routine. I have to admit, we did the Ferber method (cry it out) with my son and it did work. It was gut-wrenching, but it did work (when he was 3 months old)

Just an idea. Hope this helps!

N.,

I know it's tough... I wanted to be consistent and do it right too. The sleep issue was one of the hardest for us. My husband and I both would vacillate between consoling him, both in and out of the crib, walking him for hours in the middle of the night and tossing and turning in our bed as he cried in his crib. What a tough time!

I took advice from both sides of the coin- strict regiment moms and AP moms who would do whatever the baby needed. My father told me the best advice, or truest of the truths- Just when you think you've got a routine going with a kid, they go and change it on you.

For me, it wasn't easy to do it, but if our son was inconsolable and would cry even when we were holding him, I'd usually put him down. If he was dry, fed and otherwise pretty comfortable, I'd leave him to his own devices to get to sleep. It was HORRIBLY hard to do, but I figured if he was miserable, we'd be miserable too, but there was no point to escalating it to utter frustration and despair on our parts. A few nights we'd even turn off the monitor because he was just crying his lungs out. Seeing one of us would just make him cry harder.

We did start delaying how long we would go to comfort him- first wait five minutes, then wait seven minutes, etc. I can't remember what this method is called. That seems to work well for us, but maybe he just got the hang of it on his own.

Our son is 9 months now and when people ask when he started sleeping through the night and we answer 2 months, we get a lot of "woah, you're lucky!" Most of the time when he was crying at night it was because of one of the 7 things- hungry, wet or dirty, overstimulated or understimulated, hot or cold, tired or wanted to be held... he wasn't ever colicky, and 9 times out of 10, it was the first two.

Advice for you- trust your gut and take a deep breath. One day he'll be breaking his arm climbing a tree or skinning his knee riding a bike...

N.,

My advice is to not worry too much about the daytime sleep issues. Your baby is still so young, and his schedule will eventually fall into place. I agree that the No-Cry Sleep Solution is a good book to read for gentle help in getting your baby to sleep. He's too young for crying it out, and that doesn't have to be a solution at any point. The first few months as a new mom are the most difficult. It's tough to have much perspective because you are sleep-deprived and anxious about whether you are doing things "correctly." As mom to four wonderful children, I've been there! I worried about sleep issues with the first (he was not a sleeper at all...getting two hours of sleep out of him was tough!) The next child was an easy sleeper, the next two difficult. But eventually they all slept through the night and I was no longer sleep-deprived (they are 11,9,6,and 1 now). I know it's hard for you to fully appreciate this now, but these first few months will pass and you son will start sleeping better. So for now, enjoy holding him for those naps, take that time to relax yourself, and marvel at what a joy he is. Sometimes get someone else to hold him so you can have some time to yourself.

Best wishes!

Hi N.. congratulations on the new arrival! I have to say 9 weeks is a bit early to expect any real pattern of sleeping. I definetly think letting a 9wk old cry it out is terrible and wrong, he is to young try that with him. My son was the same way he loved to fall asleep either while nursing or on my chest. Just lay there with him, enjoy the rest, in a little while you will be wishing for that rest! One thing I did was lay there with him, on my chest, for awhile then I would very slowly lower him to my bed. After I laid him on the bed I put a pillow next to him. He would stay asleep! Try that ok. Try giving him a nice warm bath, massaging him with the baby lotion afterwards, then when he's nice and relax lay him down. If he cries pick him up, rock him and then try it again. Don't let him cry for any real amount of time, he gets too worked up, then the sleep he does get isn't very restful. You can try other methods later i.e. going to sleep on his own etc. Right now it's to soon. I did this with both of my children and they transitioned well. Good Luck.

Sounds like my son was. I found a sling to be a welcome solution; I could tote him about and get things done while he fell asleep, and I could set him down in the sling after he fell into a deep sleep without startling him, which helped him stay asleep.

Have you tried swaddling?

I think sleep training is bogus. When they are ready to sleep longer, they will. When they are ready to sleep through the night, they will. Pretty much the same thing for "scheduling" babies. Both of my children settled into a routine by 3 months of age that was very workable for the whole family without me having to be in control--and I think that's what it's really about. We Americans are so into our own independence and wanting to be in control of everything, and babies don't cooperate. I was a much happier mother when I went with my baby's needs rather than insisting that he do what I wanted him to do when I wanted him to do it.

For what it's worth, my son is now 8 and sleeps the normal amount of sleep needed by 8 year olds without ever having been trained. And my 20 yo dd didn't have to be taught either.

I am a huge follower of sleep training and routines early on. I started sleep training my first child at about 8 weeks and it made such a diffence. But she still didn't sleep through the night until she was 7 mos. old. It was my fault because as soon as I got exhusted enough to say, ok I will just let her cry it out, she started sleeping through the night. I recommend reading two books on sleep training 1.
Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old: A Step-by-Step Plan for Baby Sleep Success by Suzy Giordano and Lisa Abidin and

The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley and William Sears

Both are easy to read...I did it while I nursed..and they gave great tips on how to get into routines, undo things that are hindering sleep and overall sleep training.

N.,

I hate to tell you to read another book if you're not finding them helpful, but I found "The Contented Little Baby Book" by Gina Ford to be life changing for me and my husband. She's a bit rigid, but she lays out a schedule in no uncertain terms. Children (even 9 week olds) crave and respond to routines. She gives age progressive times for naps and bedtimes. Younger babies have the morning and afternoon naps (you should also rest when you can) and are in bed by 7pm. The first night my husband and I implemented the plan, including the first (of many) routine relaxing bath, we sat down and ate dinner together without a baby in sight (only the crackle of the baby speaker)!

Anyway, I really feel routines are important and that children respond well to them-it makes them feel secure. I have to admit to being a bit of a wuss about holding and rocking. I still have an occasional rock with my 3 1/2 y.o. daughter, but she'll soon enough be Miss Independent, so I'm not worried:-)

Those first few weeks/months as a new mom (especially when you're staying at home) can be tough. This allows you to work on your own schedule as well. My daughter used to get her 20-30 minute morning nap on the way to my stroller fit class, so we both were able to benefit.

By the way, the author of this book is British, so there are a few food combo's, etc. that don't translate that well, but the scheduling will get you and baby on track if you follow them. Good luck! Let me know how it goes.

K. C.

N.,

You may want to check out drsears.com and Dr. Sears "Fussy Baby Book". His website has sections on fussy babies and sleep problems. One thing that works great with babies that need to be held and have trouble settling down is a sling or baby carrier. They will often fall asleep or at least calm right down in there.

I have a feeling that sleep training won't work with your baby (at least while he is so young), but there are some gentler methods such as the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

Congratulations, N.! I am a first time mom with a 9-week old son too. I feel your pain! :) He was doing ok for a while, but I was in tears yesterday after 2 nights of him waking up every hour. Then, last night we tried swaddling him in the Miracle Blanket....it really was a miracle...he slept for 6 straight hours for the first time! We had tried swaddling before because I know he wakes himself up by flailing around, but he always gets out of the wrap. This blanket prevents that and it really seemed to work! He screamed for a couple seconds once we wrapped him up, then he was asleep in 10 seconds! Also, the warm bath before bed really seems to relax him (even just warm wet cotton balls washing the face).

I've been enjoying taking 3-hour naps with my son in the mornings (usually within an hour of wakefulness after the morning feeding). He sleeps next to me in my bed (and I need the sleep too!). I have found that he stirs around once an hour but if I'm there to "shush" him and put my hands on him (or gently hold his hands so he doesn't swat at his face) he'll fall back into a deep sleep. You may try lying with him on his side next to you with your arm around him so you can sneak away once he falls asleep (easier to remove yourself than with him on your chest).

I agree with you that "Cry it out" is unacceptable and that 9 weeks is too early for a "schedule". I have just tried to pay closer attention to the baby's cues (by the time they are boxing at their ears and rubbing their eyes, they are already overtired...who knew??!!)

I know you don't want to read more sleep training books, but I have found parts of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to be helpful. Basically, he says that babies should be put back to sleep when they're drowsy (within 1-2 hours of waking) and he agrees that 9 weeks is too early to sleep train.

I think what's best for him in the long run is that you are responding to his needs now! Sorry for babbling on....good luck!