Daughters, First Period ? !!!

I have a friend who handled it beautifully. SHe talked with her daughter about what to expect and how to deal with it if it happened at school and they prepared an "emergency" pack. small cute makeup bag with an extra pair of underwear, a couple of pads, and some summers eve type of wipes and the girl carried it in her backpack or put it in her locker.

As to when is the right time, it's different with each girl but 9-10 is not too early, that's about how old my sister was.

Periods start at different ages....sounds like your daughters body is showing signs of it beginning for her...

Don't delay that mother and daughter talk any longer. You don't want her to be surprised or frightened when she finds her panties stained. Give her a pad along with panties in a zip lock bag to carry in her backpack just incase she gets her first period in school. That way she'll know what to expect, how to deal with it and get herself cleaned up and continue on with her day if the cramps aren't to bad for her...which in that case she should go to the school nurse who will ask her if she needs a pad, probably have her lay down for a while or will call you in terms of sending her home.

Wish my Mom had that mother and daughter talk with me...I was away for the summer when it happened for the first time and didn't have a clue what was happening to me...I got frightened and did turned to an adult for help who got me pads and called my Mom. I survived it but was angry at my Mom for a while for not telling me about this. At that point I was only told, you are now a women, keep your legs crossed. I was confused until I spoke to girlfriends about all of it who seem to know more. At age thirty, as a joke, I asked my Mom if she was ready to tell me about the birds and the bee's and she blushed, laughed and said, "By now I think you can teach me a few things."...and changed the subject. I guess her not being able to handle it came from her own generation and up bringing....

Hello MS

My mother started talking about my menstrual cycle with me when I was very young and I am very greatful because I got my first period at age 9. My OBGYN at the time told my mother that it is normal, that every woman is different and blums at her own pace.
I do advice to talk to her and explain what's happening if you haven't done so allready and make sure that she does carry some protection on her backpack just in case.

Good luck.

E.

I matured early as well. I was 10. Just be upfront with her. Let her pick out ome basic pads. Tell her its nothing to be afraid of, its all a part of growing up. Sometimes it hurts, and sometimes its ok. I have a stepdaughter, now 15, that started about 11. Her mom didnt explain anything to her about it. I was the one to 'talk' to her. Good luck!!

Hi,
It is not uncommon for girls to begin to develop at age 9 1/2. However they call that precosious puberty. She is borderline to receieve treatment for that which is Lupron shots that will push off her develpoment until she has had a chance to have more physical develpoment.
I do suggest you have her evaluated by her pediatrician because should they decide to treat it could save her problems with bone development in the future. They may decide not to do anything but I would check it out.
M. - Pediatric nurse

My daughter is 8 and has been developing pubic hair for over a year now. she has so much that I had to shave her legs because she refused to wear shorts in the summer because of it. she also has breasts buds. I have taken her to the doctors about it. He tested all her hormone leaves and said they were normal. He said her early development was due to her being overweight for her age. They call it pre-cousious puberty.I mean a little, nothing like 20 pounds. She has since growen leaps and bounds and her weight has stayed the same for almost 6 months.

Her over hair on her legs and arms I believe is due to the fact that both her father and I are italian. She does have armpit hair that we use nair on.

We have had the talk about growing up and what happens to all women. I am also afraid that she will get it in school. I have told her if that happens go to the nurse.
T.

Yes I say to prepare as best as you can, let her carry a pad in her bag, just in case. Let her know that her body changes are normal and that she will have growing pains, and hair will start to grow in places as a sign of maturity as she enters into puberty. Pimples are also another way to tell that her body is going through that change as well. Don't worry mom she will be fine as long as you communicate.

Although I think 9 is a bit young to get your period and be going through puberty, it has been known to happen. I think the typical ages are 11-13. My sister didn't get hers until she was 14, but I got mine at 12 yrs. Each girl(young lady), is different. However she definitely is showing the signs. I would have her carry something with her, like an ultra thin pad in her back pack, or purse if she's into those yet. But show her how to use it because you can't take it for granted that she'll know what to do with it, I didn't. I luckily got mine at home, but a lot of my friends were getting theirs at the same time and many got it at school. It'll be ok if she knows what her period is and what to do when it happens. Also i'd give her an extra change of shorts or pants to keep in her locker or back pack. I recall a girl that desperately needed one and was embarrassed because she didn't have it. Have an action plan, you'll feel better about it and she will when the time comes. Good Luck!!

I have no real advice, just a personal story. My daughter, 11, came home from school the other day talking about a girl in her class whose skirt was bloody from the back when she stood up. I was shocked to hear that my daughter was apparently the only one who immedately knew what had happened. She was also the only one with an "emergency kit" that she was very proud to be able to offer to the poor girl. So our kit has already paid off. Perhaps you can go out and buy the components together, and a nice decorative bag to put them in? That made our talk a little easier, since it was not just talk, but also some action.

Well, My daughter is 7yrs old and I am deathly afraid she will be getting her period very very early. I hope not, but she was soooooo upset to find that she did have a few hairs under her arm. She knows all about periods. She does know about pads and tampon. I've have not explained how tampons are inserted, but I have explained about pads and liners. A litte bit at a time since she was 5 1/2. But more in depth when she turned 6. My Mom didnt really prepare me for it and not that I had a really bad experience, but I do remember wishing she had. I promised myself I would not do that to my girl.

We have decided to switch to organics for her. Milk, eggs, meat etc. My husband thinks that the hormones and such used on our foods these days has a major effect There have actually been studies to tie the two. And there are some negative affect in adulthood for females when this happen.

When I was a kid the average was about 12 now its much younger. Well good luck to you and your girl but I think educating her is key. Hope that helps.

Hi
I can understand your fear. My daughter just go her period at the age of 9 1/2 as well. I just sat down and told her what can happen. I showed her some research on the web and made sure that she was not in any pain. Sent her to school with pads, advil and called the nurse in advance just in case. I work full time and wanted to make sure the school nurse had my number just in case. I called during the day to check up on her and played it by ear. Good luck!!!

I've heard that some girls do start that young. It can't hurt to give her some pads and show her how to use them, just in case. I was eleven when I started, and that was considered younger than usual back then. I don't think you handled it badly, though-you just weren't sure what was happening, that's all.

Hi MS
Have you talked to your daughter about getting her period? How old were you when you got yours?
Nine and a half sure sounds young. Maybe her pain was just gas or just stomach pain. If you haven't talked to her, which I think you may have because you talked about putting something in her backpack. Maybe you should also tell her
that if she is in school and she gets her period
to go to the nurese and either tell the nurse or ask to call you. As far as telling when getting her first period will happen...it's anyone's call. Think back to when you got yours. Did you notice anything different about your feelings that day? I know I didn't. I was 13 and I called my Mom in to the bathroom to show me how to hook the pad up to the belt. When I first got my period that is how we kept the pad in place. I felt nothing just had a bloody show after going to the bathroom. Good luck...I hope this is the hardest thing you will ever deal with but unfortunately it won't be. Have a good day. Let me know how she and you make out if you think about it. D.

M S,
My 10-year-old daughter was concerned about a lump in her left breast last year. So much so that she wanted me to take her to the doctor. I told her we would wait a couple of weeks to see if it went away (I thought: she's NOT maturing this early, is she?) So, I scheduled a physical for her and sure enough, the doctor said that she was starting to "bud". Not much later the same thing happened in the other breast. She also noticable pubic hair and needs to wear deodorant. I still can't believe this is happening to my 10-year-old!! She has not yet had a period, but I'm sure that will be coming soon.

I've heard a lot about all the hormones in our food/milk/water supply and am convinced this must be one of the biggest reasons our girls are mature at a younger age than any of "us" did. I'm looking to find a hormone-free source of meat/milk because I also have a 3-year-old.

Hope this helps eleviate some of your fears, B.

Well, while my daughter is still only 6 I haven't had this experience yet. BUT I do remember growing up and just being misinformed, my mom did not take the time to explain things to us 4 girls. She kind of just let information trickle down from oldest to youngest. (wrong way in my opinion). I think what you should do (and what I plan on doing with my own daughter), is have a talk with her today after school. Since you say you downplayed it, tell her you thought about it some more afterwards and that the time may be coming soon. Being that she has already gone through some physical changes, I'm sure she knows some things that maybe you two have already discussed following these changes. So if you haven't already gone into detail about what this next step is, now is the time. She will be more ready when she does get it, whether it is now or a year from now. If after the talk you 2 decide that the "pain" she felt sounds like this may in fact be her period, then yes it is time for her to start carrying at least a pad in her backpack. It's not the easiest thing to discuss for either of you, but trust me ignoring her or letting her figure it out on her own is not the way to go. Good luck to you ladies. I hope it goes well.

Hi MS. Have you gotten your daughter the book The Care and Keeping of You from American Girl? It's a great book about the changes of puberty for pre-teens.

It is possible to get her period at 9 1/2, but it is pretty early. Usually the first period starts about 2 years after the other signs appear (breast buds, pubic hair, etc). My daughter was 11 yrs 8 months when she got her first period. The rest of her friends were 12. I was two years older than her when it happened to me.

I'm assuming that your daughter is still in elementary school. In middle school, the nurses office always has pads but call your daughter's school to ask if the nurse keeps those in her office for students. If not, ask if you can send a few pads in that the nurse can keep in her office, so that in the event that her period happens in school, your daughter will know where to go for what she needs. Maybe send a change of underwear too.

In 5th grade when she started middle school, I had my daughter keep a couple of pads in her locker. She still keeps some there since she isn't regular yet. You really can't know when it is coming. For a year before she got it, there were times I thought it might have been about to happen, and it didn't ... and when she finally did get it, there was nothing just beforehand to suggest that she was about to get it

Good luck

Hi!!
The same exact thing happened to me when my daughter was 9!! Breast buds and all. The pediatrician told me as soon as this start happening, her period will come shortly afterward. So, yes, this is the start.. so be on the lookout!

Can't wait to hear the responses to this as I can use the same advice. I have talked to my girls about their period, though, but I don't think they "got it" yet! :)

well, don't panic, that's for sure! I'd say it is time to explain her period to her, so she knows what to do when it comes. I got mine at 12 years old. NO warning. I woke up one morning, went to the bathroom and there it was. I had read "are you there god, it's me margaret," and we had already had the talk with the nurse and all the girls in our class. I believe they did that all in 4th grade for us. I think 12 is pretty average, but 9-16 is pretty normal as well.

Hi M S,

Better safe than sorry! It would seem that she is getting close to menstruating, so why leave it to chance that she will begin without some prior conversation WITH YOU. She will get it elsewhere anyway, so you are better off telling her early so she gets it straight and clear. There are books on it at B & N I'm sure, so go buy one and have a chat about it. My sister is 4 years my senior and I learned all about it at 8 years old when she began menstruating, so 9 1/2 is not to yound to hear about it (if she hasn't already). In truth, I explained a lot to my son last year (7 years old) when he started asking about 'those paper covered cardboard tube things in the bathroom...' Of course, he asked me in the pasta aisle in the supermarket while we were standing next to a very religious woman--I started to sweat.
Make it light and casual--she probably will say, Oh Ma, I know all about it already.
A.

My DD was 10 in November and she has been getting headaches and stomach aches every month around the same date. So I really started talking with her and explaining all the wonderful things that go along with growing up!! I figure it's better to be informed and prepared rather than the way I had to deal with it. Scared I was going to die or something was horribly wrong. You may want to talk to your DD school nurse and let her know just in case!! Good luck!!

Girls mature at different ages. Just make sure she is prepared. Talk to her and there is a book I recommend highly called THE PERIOD BOOK by Karen Gravelle and Jennifer Gravelle. I have given this book to my neices, girlfriends daughters and my own daughters. It is so clear and asks all the questions they are aching to ask but don't have the courage to. It gives them the knowledge they need so they won't be afraid. It is very open, up front and honest. You should definitely read this book with her and prepare her to carry something in her backpack for sure. Remember, so long as she has knowledge of what will occur and her facts, she will be ok when the time comes. You can find The Period Book in Barnes and Noble or Barnes and Noble online. Good luck.

ms,
the sad fact seems to be that girls are getting their periods earlier and earlier. my dd got her's on the last day of 4th grade (at almost 10 1/2 yrs old), hours before a 10 hour international flight no less! for a few days prior to it, she had complained of stomachaches and what must have been cramps.

please don't 'pooh-pooh' your girl's symptoms. she needs to be prepared for it on all levels. from the practical, pack some pads for her to take. show her how to use them. to the mental, make sure she knows what's happening to her and that it's ok. if you are finding it hard to talk to her, there are 2 great books by children's author robie harris--'it's so amazing'(about reproduction) & 'perfectly normal' (about puberty). it's a very important time for her to realize that you're on her side, mom! good luck!

dear MS, I don't think there is any usual age for a first period. It may be around the same age as you started or check on her dad's side. Could be as early as 9 and sometimes as late as 15 or 16. If your daughter already has pubic hair, yes you should start to tell her and have her carry a pad in her backpack. She needs to know what is coming so she will not be afraid. One of my friends thought she was dying when she saw blood down there. I know it is never easy to get on this subject. Are you friendly with any of her friends mom's? You could also check with the school nurse if they still have those. Best wishes, Grandma Mary

Dear M S,

She is not too young. Puberty is only considered precocious if the signs are there before age 7 (yes, shocking). I remember that for me, I got pubic hair a year before getting underarm hair, but I don't know whether that is normal. My mom got her period at 10 (poor girl), I had just turned 12 when I started. I did get cramps every single morning for a whole year before starting my period. My mom told me I was probably fine, which helped me not panic.

My mom told me about periods when I turned 11, because I was due to travel on my own to another continent for 10 weeks to see a doctor (we lived in Africa and I needed to see specialist in Europe). She needed to know I'd know what to do when she was so far away.

I got pads in my room and I would pretend I had my period. I'd go to school with them on sometimes, then decided they were too thick for comfort and chuck them in the bin at break time. But it got me used to them, and meant I'd had practice putting them in and disposing of them long before I needed them. I plan on doing the same for my daughter.

My sisters are quite a bit youner than I am, and I remember they were nervous about getting their period. Talking to my mom wasn't enough, so they came to me for reinforcement. I put on 2 pairs of underwear, took them to the toilet, and showed them exactly what I did - including how to make sure you don't get your new pad to pick up germs from public toilets. I could just pull down one pair of underwear and put the pad in and be confident that I still was wearing a pair so I wasn't naked (bit of a prude, me). They are now in their late 20s and have told me that me showing them like that was the most reassuring thing, because they knew that they got 'full instructions'. Then they had a turn doing the same thing. It worked for them.

I knew a girl who wrapped her pad in tin foil so that if guys grabbed her backpack and tipped it out (you know what boys can be like), they would think it was sandwiches or a snack. It also meant she could walk to the toilet at breaktime with it in her hand if she didn't have a pocket, and none of the boys would know what it was.

Once I got my period, I made sure I ALWAYS had a pad with me. I had one tucked away in every coat and bag, so that whatever I grabbed in a rush in the morning, I would never be caught short if my period came earlier than expected that month. Last year I found a coat I used to wear when I was 16 ... it still had A. emergency pad in the inside pocket ;-)

Good luck! And don't worry, it may not happen for a long time. You could always ask your husband's sisters and mother how they were when they got their first period, just so you know if someone was very early.

A.

They grow up so quickly.

It's not uncommon for girls to start at that age. I started at 9 and my youngest started at 10, my 12 year old hasn't started yet. I've heard that girls are starting earlier now than a few decades ago due to the hormones they're injecting into the cows (effecting dairy products).

It's not easy to tell when it's going to happen. Some girls have almost no cramping, for others it can be extreme. Sometimes you can tell by mood swings.

I would definatly buy her some pads and find a place for her to conceal it in a backpack or purse (even if she doesn't need it for a few months, better to be prepared). Remind her that if it starts in school, she can always go visit the school nurse.

Good luck. And don't feel bad.

Talk to your daughter about the changes going on in her body. If she has pain make sure you know if it is constant or just once in a while.
At this time of life she really needs tools and how to use them. I gave my daughter 2 sanitary napkins in a black small case with an extra pair of underwear. Explain how to use them. Also get her a pair of black pants to wear (in case of an accident it won't show). Be reassuring and she will be fine with it. Good luck!

She should be prepared and carry something with her. I had the same worries Your dau is young but I did the same thing every little pain i thought was it. Forget about it the hair and breast its starting u have time. My dau got hyper and couldnt stop eating and then got it at 13 no pain just messy at first. good luck

My daughter is 10 and in 5th grade. They did the talk with her in school a few months ago. They sent home a "goody bag" of stuff with pamphlets and pads and they recommended that the girls carry a pad with them, just in case. Recenctly she complained of a slight discharge. i brought her to the doctor to check for a yeast infection but it was nothing. I was told though that the discharge could be an indication that her period would be starting soon. So far nothing on our end but you should definately discuss it with your daughter so she doesn't get scared or embarrssed.

Since this is a normal part of becoming a young women its nothing to be ashamed of. Most people avoid talking about the "visit from aunt flo". My daughter is 11 and starting to mature and has lots of changes happening to her body. Being open and honest may cause her embarrasment now, but will help in the long run.

There are a lot of good suggestions on the books to help her through this time. Being prepared in advance is always a good bet. Talking about the changes and what is happening will prepare her to understand and cope with them.

I agree that the hormones in our foods has sped up the maturing process, so we also try to use more organic foods.

Use this as an opportunity to bond with your daughter, go shopping for the items and let her help pick them out and know how to use them. Best of Luck - raging teen hormones can sometimes be trying on the patience!

I was 12 when i got my period for the first time and didn't say anything to my mom till after I had gotten it. I had cramps for a day before I got it, and I got it while I was in school and had to go to the nurses office. Luckily I was wearing black pants, and it didn't go through so I didn't get that embarrassed, but it was a scary thing to go through by myself. I would definitely have her carry something with her at all times. Good luck
L.

9 years is early to start period but it can happen. How old did your period start? Often it is similar to the mother's. I think it's good idea to talk with your daughter to talk about what is happening to her body and what to expect and maybe have her carry a pad. They explain about things like that in 5th grade or something so if your daughter is maturing earlier, you should give her some information about period.
K.

Hi. I have an almost 12 year old daughter whose breasts have started to bud a few months ago. No other symptons. Her pediatrician anticipates her getting her period in the fall/winter. She carries a pad in her purse (and, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe she should carry a panty as well). I would recommend that your daughter carry a pad in her backpack, perhaps in an inside zippered compartment. I bought the pack with the individually sealed pads. If you have any questions, I would recommend visiting with your pediatrician as well. Good luck!

Hi
Children mature at different ages and it sounds as if ur duaghter is reaching to that stage in her life. Hope by now you would have sat her down and explain fully to her what is expected to happen and definitely how to cope. Yes u need to give her a little purse with her sanitary pad tucked away in her back pack and encourage her to take it with her in travelling out. U dont want her to be unprepared . It can be very embarassing for a young girl to have her period and not be prepared. As a mother u have to build ur daughters confidence in u so she can tell all that's happening to her. My daughter is 12plus and she still hasnt started although from all indication she is near to that phase From she was 10 I prepared her and she always travels with her little hygiene kit, soap, pad,rag and underwear if u chose. U can give ur daughter books to read if u are not comfy speaking with her then u both can discuss what she reads in the book. Try to answer all her questions as honestly and as true as possible. Give her information for her age. Show her how to use the pad and how to properly dispose of them. Ur daugter will loe u for this and remeber also the hormonal changes,mood swings etc. Just make sure u r there for ur daughter. Hope this helps and all the best as our daughters mature

9.5 sounds really early, i was 11 when i got it (5th grade) and i was really early. i'veread that it is weight related, that once a girl reaches 80lbs, periods start. not sure how accurate that is.

9 1/2 is young, but possible. You should talk to her about what to expect. I got my period at age 11, but I was prepared so it wasn't scary. Distasteful, but not scary :-)

Hi, M S I don't have a duaghter, but I remember some things my mom did with me. I developed alittle early too, but didn't get my period until I was 13 1/2 yo. What I remember, my mom came into the bathroom when I was going to bathroom and she said that she wanted me to know something and she told me what I will expect and what to do and not to be nervous and that it's natural to have it. Just to let her know. The last day of school, my mom picked me up and I had a dental appt and after that appt. we went to Wendy's for lunch. I had pains and they were cramps and I din't understand the pain. I went to bathroom and I had my period. So, because I didn't have a napkin I put a toilet paper there to keep it from going through my jeans and I told my mom. She was calm and said that we were going to the store and pick up some napkins and she'll show me how to put it on.
M S, you can buy them early and show her how to put it on properly and give her a few and put it in something that you can't see, but let her pick out what she'll like to put the napkins in and if you are comfortable, she'll be comfortable to let you know when she gets it. If she gets cramps, help her through it so she can figure out what makes her feel good to ease the cramps. Call her dr (when she gets it and i gets cramps too) and ask them what dosage or ibuprofen to give her for the cramps if they say it's okay or something better.
Hope I have given you some ideas and see what other women suggests....God bless you and your family and prayers are with you...

My daughter also matured a little early. Make sure you tell her exactly what to expect so she doesn't get scared. Also let her carry a pad in her bag, just in case it happens when she least expects it to. Everyone is different but she could just be experiencing early symptoms and maybe might not get her period for another few years as she is a little young.

If she's just starting the physical changes then her first period is not imminent. However, you do need to prepare her now for what's to come. My daughter was into American Girl stuff at the time of our talk and I bought her "The Care & Keeping of You" by the American Girl library. It talks about peronal hygiene, periods, emotions, all kinds of stuff. It's a well written book.

My DD is 12 and has gone through all the physical changes but still hasn't started her period. She's a full 18mos older than I was when I started. I took her off milk around age 8 when she started showing signs of puberty. Personally, I think it helped slow the progression. I believe the hormones they use to make cows produce milk can cause early puberty in children. I now use milk from producers that pledge not to use hormones on their cows. To me it's worth the extra 10 cents it costs to know there's no hormones in the milk. I digress!

Anyway, have that talk with your daughter and get her prepared because the day will be here before you know it!

My daughter is 13, but around 9 she would get a little crampy and started maturing. A great book was recommended to me and is by American Girl. I can't remember the exact name but it went chapter by chapter of all the changes happening and explained things in such a way that she could understand. I have two boys also, so I had not had to explain the changes in a girl as of yet. I bought it at Borders, and it took us about two weeks to read together, we would do a chapter a night. Talk to your pediatrician also, mine told us that since she just started menstruation, that it is not unusual to not have it every month, and so far she skips a month or only has it a day or two at a time.