Cry It Out - Wood Ridge,NJ

hi D., i feel for you. in my opinion, i think letting them cry is awful, i never did it with my first 2 kids, i also never slept. i dont believe in it. that said, when i had my 3rd baby, he truly never slept. it got worse and worse, and by the time he was 10 mos old he was literally sleeping for no more than a half hour at a time. it was beyond awful, i tried EVERYTHING. finally, i just had to let him cry it out. sleep is so important, for them too. dont underestimate how much you all need it, especially now with flu season coming up. well, anyway, it really sucked, but it worked. it does work. it worked in a few days, he cried for no more than an hour the first night, a little less each after. and now he is 2, he is the first child i had that i can put in awake, he plays and goes to sleep, like a dream. if he isnt tired enough, or if he wakes up during the night, he might fuss or cry half heartedly for a couple of minutes, then he goes to sleep. actually its very good, because if i put him in, and he really screams, or if he wakes up during the night and really screams, i know something is truly wrong and i go right in, hungry thirsty sick dirty diaper, whatever, all the things you wonder about when they are crying, what if.... i would never do it with a newborn, but yours is a lot older. the only thing i will say is that if you do decide to do it, you have to stick. especially since he is older and understands more. if you let him cry and then give in, the only thing you are teaching him is to stick with it and keep it up, and you will make it worse. its no fun, for me it was the only way with tyler, maybe for you too? good luck whatever you decide.

I know exactly how you feel. However, finally reaching our wits end with sleepless nights and zombie days -- which is no good for anyone, including you child -- we did the cry it out method.

The first night was the absolute worst!! We almost quit then, but after just a few days you will notice a difference. And by 7 days, it was completely working.

My son is now 7 years old. Perfectly adjusted (well for a 7yo boy, lol). He has no memory of it. I remember, but have no residual feelings of guilt. Everyone will come through this okay.

CIO doesn't work for young babies but should work for your child. i did CIO exactly the month my children turned two. i was ready to let them sleep through the night. i needed the sleep. it had been two years of very difficult nights. i tried the CIO as it is recommended, going in after a few minutes. that did not work. they would expect me to come in so they would just cry. one night i decided not to go in unless i heard their cry change to hurt cry. it didn't change. the first night they cried for about 1 hr. the 2nd night less. i was awake mind this. i was outside their door but i did not go in. after a few nights they slept through the night. it was a great feeling. they needed the sleep and the days became much happier because they were well rested. so i say yes. try it. be strong. follow the rules. don't do it forever. give yourself a week. if it doesn't happen within a week chances are it won't happen. but it should happen. good luck

D.
I know you are going through a tough time but I HATE THE CRY IT OUT METHOD! I just think it is cruel.
And the night after night of the screaming and carrying on that you and your child must go through until "It works" is unbelievable....why stress yourself and your baby boy more than what he is stressed about in the 1st place?

He must be cutting his 2 year old molars...he can get them this early and my daughter is 20 months and has been having a real hard time with them. She hadn't had a hard time with any of her other teeth cutting through until these.
She too will sometimes cry at night and I find the rocking is soothing b/c it is helping with the pain.
I agree to give your little guy tylenol...and make sure with your pediatrician that the dosage is correct. My daughter is a big girl for her age, so she gets a little larger dose and that is the only way she gets relief.
Also what does help is to give her those cold rings...and I do put them in the freezer. If you think that he is still teething, try one of those too. If he is putting it way in the back of his mouth and biting down hard, then you'll know that the molars are giving him the tough time.
One other thing that I have done when she was acting up with bedtime was to stay in the room either in a chair, (I have a futon in her room for those nights when she is sick and I need to be nearby)and just be in the room for him to see you. It may take a few nights, but the idea is not to talk to him during that time. just be there for him to see you. Rock him or do whatever your usual routine is to get him to bed, and then that is it. He has to stay in the bed. My daughter seemed to do well with this approach.
If she got too active, I would just get up and lay her back down and then go right back to sitting in my chair. No talking except to say, "go to sleep".
Eventually she got the message and she just put her head down ans went to sleep.
Seeing that your little guy is having some good nights and then some bad nights, it only solidifies that he is having teething issues.
Sooth him and he will be far happier than if you cause him more distress while he is in pain.

I do believe this will work out for you in a short period of time.
Good luck and I hope you get some sleep soon.

P.
P.S. Oh, one more thing...if she is put down too early, I will give her a bottle at around my bedtime...say 11pm or 12 am. I do not wake her, I just put the bottle in front of her mouth and she takes it, drinks it down on her own and rolls right over and sleeps soundly the rest of the night. He may be hungry? and even the bottle can be very soothing to him if it is his teeth.
You have to do what works for you...not what the books say. Once you figure out why he is crying, you will be able to help him out. Don't be afraid that you will start a new routine with a bottle and all....it doesn't have to be every night...just do what your instinct tells you.
Mommy knows best!
Good luck!

Cry it out worked for my son. But he only cried a few minutes. It did not work for my daughter. Why is he waking? It can't possibly be because he's hungry. I'd start there. You need to figure out why he's up. If you go in and sooth him does he fall back asleep? It could be any number of things. I'd figure out why he's up before I let him cry it out.

I feel for you. I have 4 1/2 month old twins, who weren't the greatest sleepers to begin with. I am nursing, so the better sleeper usually woke 2 times during the night to eat; and the other woke those same 2 times to eat, but also woke a few other times, but was easily comforted and went back to sleep right away. THese past few nights, though, I don't think I got a straight hour's sleep. Unfortunately, I also went back to work this week, which I think may have something to do with it. I have no advice for you, I can't bear to let them cry it out. I tried it with my older son (now 5), and I didn't last for 5 minutes. It broke my heart. I found a great book - I think it's called "No Cry Sleep Solution," but I don't remember who wrote it. I guess I should pull it off my shelf for me, now, too! Everyone's different and you need to do what works best for you! Good luck!

3-4 hours is much too long. Does your husband actually hear your child in distress??? First you have to figure out why he is waking. Maybe you are putting him to bed too early. Or maybe he is teething or hungry. Or maybe its just a phase that will pass. My son is the same age and generally a very good sleeper. He goes 9-11 hours almost every night since 4 1/2 months. I nurse him still but only before sleep and when he is sick. He sleeps in his own room so if he cries at night I don't hear him unless its a real cry. If it is (loud and lasts more than a few minutes) I always go in there. Usually he goes back to sleep but the other day it was 3:30 and he wanted to be up till 5. It sucked, yes. But now he is back to sleeping 11-12 hours. I think by this time, we moms kinda know what we are doing and should trust our insticts. In my limited experience, if he feels like he trusts you and feels secure, he will develop the ability to soothe himself. And when he wakes up in the morning, he too sits and plays in his crib, sometimes makes a big poop and talks to himself for a while. All without the stress of CIO.

Crying it out works but if your child is going on for as long as you say, it obviously is not working. The longest I ever let my daughter cry it out was 20 minutes. Usually she will wake up cry for a few minutes, call out "Mommy" over and over and fall back asleep.

3 or 4 hours is way too long to let your child cry it our in my opinion. I would check to see what was wrong if that happened or I u=would rub my daughter's back in a circular motion to soothe her back to sleep without picking her up.

I never did the cry it out method with any of my kids. Just the thought of your little one crying for 3-4 hrs breaks my heart. Sometimes wee ones get their days and nights crossed so I'd suggest wearing him out with a lot of play during the day, try to cut back on daytime napping, and by evening he should be exhausted.

Hi D.,

I am also a believer of cry it out. I do not think there is a parent out there who ENJOYS!! hearing their child cry. However, like you I was exhausted and at my wits end. I was always afraid of co-sleeping because my husband is a big guy and I was afraid he would roll over on them and hurt them. Also, to be honest I was a stay at home mom and needed my separation at night. If that is selfish then I guess I am selfish. I think teaching our children to soothe themselves and learn to sleep independently is a gift to them and the entire family. Without sleep I was impatient and very short with the kids, my husband and I were at our wits end. I was to the point where I dreaded bedtime because I knew I would be up half the night. I did a modified version of cry it out where I went in the room every five minutes or so, laid them back down, put music on, told them night night time, and left the room. Yes, it makes them angry when you leave the room, but at least they knew I was there and was not abandoning them. The first night was the worst. The crying went on for about 45 minutes. The second night half the time. The third night maybe five minutes. And by night four no crying. My kids were great sleepers after that and the entire family was much happier as a result. I do think this is a decision of personal choice and basically it depends on how desperate you are. It is not for everyone. Just like some parents love to co-sleep and that was not for me. Whatever works for your family. By the way my kids are now 24 and 20 and are extremely close to me. They do not remember any of it. So I didn't scare them for life LOL!! I am not going to say it was easy, because it was hard. But it did work. Good luck I hope you get some sleep soon!!

We used the CIO method. It stunk, but it worked. My son doesn't expect us to come running in the morning now and will entertain himself with his stuffed monkey or the fish soother until he's ready to get up- somethings 20 minutes after he wakes!

The first night he cried for two hours before he fell asleep and he was probably exhausted. My husband and I waited until a long weekend so we wouldn't be sleep deprived at work. The second night he cried for about 20 minutes. By the third night, he was fine.

The method isn't for everyone and you absolutely cannot cave-in. The minute you do, essentially you have to start over. Good luck.