Cosleeping Sixteen Month Old

Hi M.,
My daughter sleeps in bed with me, so I have been looking into the same thing. I would love one night's rest! One thing a friend of mine did was to slowly transition. She bought bed rails for her bed, and would fall asleep with him. Once he was asleep, she would move onto the floor. If he'd wake up, she'd do whatever she needed to do to soothe him until he could do it on his own. Then once she was comfortable with how it was working, she'd put him in her bed and not lay down with him, but stay in the same room. Once comfortable with this, she moved himto his own bed and stayed in there with him all night. About a week later, she started to leave the room once he fell asleep. It seems like a long transition, but it worked for her son. It is a lot harder to accept change when you are barely 2. Personally, I don't like the cry-it-out method, at least until some form of self soothing has been taught (my daughter likes to hum now while she waits for me to do something).
Good luck! I hope this helped a bit.

I've never tried it but other moms told me that they let their babies fall asleep with them than transfer them to another sleeping area first just to make life easier. Then they gradually put the baby in the crib to sleep. Sometimes having a really solid sleep routine helps but doesn't always. Good luck.

Hi M.. I did almost the exact same thing with my daughter, who is now 2. She slept in our room in her bassinet when she was newborn, but any time she would cry I'd bring her into our bed. After she outgrew the bassinet, I'd rock her to sleep, but her in her crib asleep, and when she woke up at night (usually after only an hour or 2) I'd bring her into our bed. After about 16-18 months of not sleeping through the night one time, I was going crazy. She would kick and roll around all night. So we decided to get her a twin bed (with guard rails). This way, I could lay with her for a few minutes to read books and cuddle. When we first started with the big bed, I would wait until she was asleep to leave. After a few weeks I would leave when she was awake but almost asleep. She sometimes cried, but suprisingly, sometimes didn't. When she cried I would stand at the door and listen. If she was just whining and fussing I would leave her alone and she would usually just go to sleep within 5 minutes. If she was really crying, I would let her for maybe 1-2 minutes (until I couldn't stand it) and go back in and lay with her. The crying usually wore her out so she would go to sleep right away. She actually started sleeping all night, I think because my husband and I weren't moving around and waking her up. She still occasionally wakes up in the night, especially when she is teething or sick. It is not often though, so I just go in and lay with her for a few minutes to calm her down. It is a world of difference. We are all getting a much better night's sleep. If you don't think he would stay in the bed, you could start with the matress on the floor so that he doesn't fall off when he tries to crawl out. My daughter never tries to get out of her bed, she just lays there and yells until I come and get her, so I'm not sure what to do if he would get out and run around. I hope this helped, it really saved me. Best of luck to you!

Maybe try things the "supernanny" way. Start off by putting him in the crib when he's almost asleep and you stay very close to the crib but don't pick him up. After he is comfortable with that after maybe a few nights, then move a little farther away from the crib and closer to the door but still in the room so he can see you. He will probably still cry b/c he knows that you are eventually going to leave. Do this until you are eventually out the door. My son cried when I put him to bed but as long as you are strong and stick to your guns it will work. If you give in (even once) you are only making things worse. All it takes is one time. If you pick him up or let him come to your bed you will have to start all over again. I don't suggest trying this if there is anything else going on at the same time, such as teething. You will have to have nerves of steel and patience. Good luck, I know it can be hard to listen to your baby cry but inconsistency is way worse for your baby than a little crying. My son is now seven and it's the same. All it takes is for me to give in to him once and we have to start all over (for instance, one more story...). He would drag bedtime on until midnight if I let him.

Hello, you maybe can try, waiting for your child to fall asleep. Then put him in the grib. Even for his naps. You might try putting some thing with your cent, in with him. Good luck.

try laying down with him when he goes to sleep put him in the crib after doing it often enough he'll get use to it , and maybe after awhile you work your way into as he's about to go to sleep just put him in there. good luck

I had the same problem with my daughter when she was younger. What I did was start off by putting her in the crib with some toys and I would be cleaning her room etc.. just so she seen I was in there.
Then after a few times of that after she fell asleep I put her in ther so, she when she woke up I wasn't there.
Some people say put them in there and let them cry, I didn't I couldn't take seeing her that upset. She would cry so bad she would get sick to her stomach.
I did those things start off gradually like that just so he gets used to being away from you and being in the crib after a few weeks he should get use to the crib.
I hope it works. Good Luck!!!

I'm still cosleeping with my 2 yo, and I can't imagine stopping. If it's just that you need more space, could you get another bed in your room and push them together? Or could you put a bed in his room and put him to sleep there, and then get up and move to your own bed?

I don't think crying it out is a good solution for anyone. It's terrifying for a little one who's dependent on us for everything to think that we might not come when they need us. Self-soothing is not a skill an infant or toddler needs to learn. Right now they need to learn secure attachment to their caregivers.

I seen an article once on this topic. It is a gradual process!
Start by making him a bed in your room, a toddler bed next to you or a matt/mattress on the floor next to your bed. Once they fall asleep carry him to his room. If he wakes up, don't even talk to him, just lay him down and rub his back or pat his but and hopefully he will fall back to sleep.
As time goes on he will get used to waking in his own bed.
But honestly, this is a habit that is very hard to break.
My grandson still wants to sleep with his parents and he is 8 years old. He comes in their room in the middle of the night and squeezes in! They usually welcome him in.

My other grandson was not as bad, but likes to sleep with somebody. He listens to the music channel (no pictures) on the satilite tv. this sooths him and he now sleeps alone.

Good Luck!
Bev

Hi M.,
I have a 4yr old and a 19 months old. We all co-sleep. But my 4yr old sleeps in her toddler bed that's right next to ours (agains the wall).
We've co-slept from the beginning and even though we sometimes think its time to move my older to her own room, then we back down. Because she's not ready. And then other times, she asks to sleep in her room and then backs down. She's not ready.
I you need more space, I suggest putting a toddler bed next to yours (we took one of the side rails off so it works as an extended bed).
Follow your instincts though. I personally think of it this way: When they hit their teen years I very much doubt they'll want to share much with me, even less my bed :P
It is just a phase, and if you feel so bad leaving your child crying on the crib, why have him and you suffer? There are some babies that are needier than others, my older one also wakes up if she doesn't feel me around in the bed, whereas my younger one falls asleep and then stays sleeping unless she's hungry.
having said that, I hope you find your answer :)
M. J.

Hi,

I'm not sure how many responses you've gotten, so sorry if I'm repeating advice you've alread gotten. My suggestion would be to put him in the crib at night, with little to-do about it, and make a pallet on the floor next to his crib for yourself. If you two normally go to bed together (I assume you probably don't put him in your bed to sleep and then walk away.) then when you put him in his bed, covered him up, and you lay down on your pallet as if you intend to go to sleep. You should try to come as close to your normal routine, almost as if you didn't realize that he is now laying on his bed and you're now on the floor, as opposed to both being in your bed. You might have to do this for a little while before he gets the idea that it's ok if he's here, and you're over there. Another suggestion...if he is sleepy enough for this, when you lay him down, just stay in the room with him. I do with my daughter...I put her in her bed, cover her up, give her the toy, and then while she's laying there, I straighten her room, fold a load of laundry, I have even taken out the clothes in the drawer and refolded them, just to appear busy. I say my goodnights and hugs and kisses, and then when I begin my "busywork", I don't make eye contact with her after that. She watches me walk around, and do stuff, but because I'm always less than 5 ft from her, she doesn't feel the need to get up to do it. She eventually falls asleep watching me work. Another part of that...while I'm busy and she's been watching me for a bit...10-15 min...I go out of the room to "put something away" and come back...and continue working. I do it several times, where she sees me go out and come back. Then when she wakes in the middle of the night...she doesn't get so worried that I'm not there...she assumes I've gone out to "put something away" and I'll be right back.

I hope this has made sense, and I hope it helps. Feel free to contact me if you need any other ideas or just to chat. ____@____.com

Sincerely,
A.

have you tried setting a night time routine? Like give him a bath, read a story and put him in his crib when he's asleep. For my daughter who is 2 1/2, when it's time for bed I give her a bath, put on pjs and let her pick the book she wants to read. Then I have the light on low and tuck her in and sit next to her bed and read her a story and within a few minutes she's asleep. Hope this helps.

Oh my, Your story sounds just like me, its amazing! I am a 24 year old mom of a 16 month old, Julian, whose father just passed away in April of 05. Like you, I slept in the living room with him the first four or five months, then he slept with me.. However, he is now sleeping in his own crib, and I can not tell you how relaxing it is. This sounds so weird, but to get him to sleep, I rock him in his infant car seat. I strap him in and he kicks his legs, which makes him rock, and falls asleep. I then put him into his crib and he sleeps all night. The crib is in my bedroom of course. I could not imagine him in a room by himself. That would be torture for me. This may not be good advice, but your story rang true to me.

let him fall asleep in bed then move him ..Ps move bed into your room.. I have to do this with my 6 month old he was sleepong in a bassinet in our playpen in my room b/c i just am not ready for him to be in his own room but b/c of his teething he now falls asleep in bed with us then i move him back to his bed.. it works very well he is some what uncomfortable in his own room b/c he doesnt spend much time in it we now try to spend at least 2 hours aday playing in his room to get him use to it.

Hi M.! I felt the same way you do when I brought my new baby home from the hospital. I was a mother of a baby again after 10 years. I was so happy to have an infant that I wanted to be with him all the time, including co-sleeping. But now that he's three and still in my bed,(and taking up most of it)I feel like maybe I should have tried to get him in his own bed a long time ago. Now that I want him out of my bed, he won't go. Just wanted to let you know that the longer you wait, the harder it will be. I have had some luck in the past with putting a youth bed right next to mine. That way he's still close to me, but not in the same bed.I also feel I should mention that since my son needs me in the bed to go to sleep,it really has a dampening effect on any kind of entertaining in the evening, because I have to go to bed at nine o'clock. And, if I don't fall asleep first, I may be able to rejoin my company after my son falls asleep. And, if he wakes up because I've left the bed, well then we have to start all over again, only now he's had a powernap, and is ready to roll. It really is best to get them out of your bed as soon as you feel it's time. Good luck!

Hello M.,
do not feel bad. I have exactly the same issue. My son is now about 16month old and sleeping with us in our big bed. He is waking up during the night for drink,moving around ..kicking us etc. We still love it though. But I feel anyway that it is time to start to put him into his own bed...my plan is to start to put him in his crib that is in our bedroom (on my side of the bed) and later move him out to his room. However any advice /experience would appreciated.