Correct Etiquette for Birthday Parties

A gift is not required if you don't attend. If it was a best friend, I would suggest dropping off a gift. It doesn't sound like your children (or the moms) are extremely close, but if you wanted to get something small like a package of sidewalk chalk and bubbles I'm sure the child and mom would be thrilled that you thought of them. If it's a friend who is closer, perhaps you could set up a play date to make up for missing the party?

Hi-
Just call and tell them you'll be out of town. You do not need to send a gift unless you REALLY want to. My son's birthday party is tomorrow, and I still haven't heard from a third of the people invited. I always tell people who call and say they can't make it that I appreciate them letting me know. It's better than wondering if they'll show up or not.

Don't worry about a gift. It generally isn't expected if you're not attending (unless it's a relative.) But DO be sure to rsvp no. The host will thank you. :)

I would call and let them know that you won't be able to make it. You may give a gift, but you don't have to.

Hi C.,
I've just been added to the list. My suggestion would be to drop off a gift for the little boy's party. We all know this is what birthday parties are all about. Kids love to open gifts and smile while mom is helping them unwrap the pretty paper. You love being a mom - you know how it is? (O.)

Let the partygiver know that you'll be out of town. If the boys are close i.e. exchange playdays, overnights, etc. drop off a small gift. Otherwise, don't worry about it. Most kids are not friends from season to season before moving on to the next child.

I think it depends how close you are to the family or your son is to the birthday boy. If they are just classmates, I would say you don't have to do a gift. If they are very close friends, then you might want to do a gift.

Hi C.,

How close are they? Is there a friendship outside of school? If so, then yes I would. But if not, you certainly should not have to buy a gift for every invitation your children receive if they're not attending. A phone call declining and birthday wishes is appropiate. Now, if your son insists on acknowledging his friend's birthday, have him make him a nice card and put it in his cubby at school. You don't want to discourge good intentions in your children.

I always like to put the shoe on the other foot. Would you be offended if your child didn't recieve a gift for every invitation given out? You know up front that not all invites will be able to make it.

I hope this helps!

Hi C.!

I am not sure what the proper etiquette is, however, since he is someone your child attends preschool with, I would drop off a gift and let them know you will be out of town.

We recently had a party for my daughter and I really appreciated people who for one, RSVPed (seems to be a rarity these days) and thought it was extra special when someone dropped off a gift even though they couldn't make the party.

Do what you are comfortable with! Good luck, have fun on your trip! :)

You just need to call and say you will be out of town. A gift is not necessary but it always nice. You are not obligated.

S.

I would due to the fact that the friend thought so much of your child to invite him/her.

C. R

One of my son's friends couldn't make it to his party. They sent us a really sweet birthday card in the mail. Other people who didn't attend didn't do anything but RSVP sorry, we can't make it. I don't think you are obligated to give a gift if you are not attending the party. A birthday card with a out of town postmark might be really special.

It all depends on how close your child is with the birthday boy or how close you are to the family. If they have a lot of playdates together or if they are good family friends....definately send a gift. If he is just some random kid from the preschool class....don't worry about it!

If my child is not able to attend a party I still send a small gift, books are a great option.

I would give a gift if they are close friends rather than just classmates.

At your child's age all that is required is the call to say he won't be able to attend. No gift necessary. Once your son is older and has developed true friends you may want to give a gift later or before you leave. I have two daughters 13 and 15. I think in all the years of parties we've given them, we've only received one gift from someone (other than family) who didn't attend the actual party. And this includes a graduation party!