Controlling My Daughter's Temper tantrums.......PLEASE HELP!!!

C., I have a 3 yr old grandbaby and she is the same way or used to be anyway. When we take her to the store we give her an option: Ride in seat of cart or ride in one of those carts for kids. We also let her pick out her own cereal, treats, to an extent that is, and just make her feel like she is an important part of the whole shopping thing. She loves to help and it takes her mind off of the buggy to which she hates so much. Let me know if it works for you.

HI! My DD is going to be 2 in January, as well! I know how you feel about trying to get anything done! Wow!

Anyway, my DD LOVES to go shopping and eating out, but I NEVER let her out of the cart/chair. Once that seal is broken, there is no going back. (Learned that lesson the hard way!!!!) So, timing is probably the most crucial thing. Be sure not to take her to a restaurant with a long wait, or one that takes a long time to get the food. Have plenty of special, restaurant/shopping only toys in your diaper bag.

I have always used a shopping cart cover that is very cushy. So my DD is very comforable. I also use it in the high chair when we eat out.

If you already have one, then maybe you should try to get a really girly cart cover and a soft pillow with feathers on it or something. Make a big deal out of her special shopping/high chair cover and pillow. Tell her only Princesses get to use those, then point out other babies riding nicely in the shopping carts. I don't know if this will help, but they do understand a lot at this age. If she likes to 'do her makeup', maybe you should carry some lip gloss with you and use it (or whatever she likes) to get her excited about shopping. Ask her if is she is ready to go shopping, then tell her she needs to put her lips on, and make a big fuss about what a good girl she is. Be sure to reapply the lips as needed to keep her feeling good about it. :)

I hope that helps. Keep us posted!

(Oh yes, I happen to be one of the Moms who raves about The Happiest Toddler on the Block! I like the DVD, in addition to the book, because it is really hard to use the techniques without actually seeing them in full swing. You feel silly at first, but it really does work.)

Oh man, do I know what you're dealing with. I have a 2 1/2 year old, Payton. She does the same thing. At restaurants we try putting her in a booster seat instead of an actual highchair b/c then she feels more like a "grown-up". As for the grocery store, we give her the option of sitting in the seat or the actual basket. If neither works and she just won't have it my way, then I make it a very quick shopping trip. :) Try not to go when she's sleepy or huungry, b/c at this "terrible 2" stage everything is amplified. Hope I was some kind of help....^-^

My son is the same way. I agree with most of what the moms have said in the PP. When my son misbehaves in a restraunt either my husband or I take him out to the car to cool down. If he has sat nicely thru most of the meal (30 min.) he knows he will get to go on a walk around the outside of the restarant. As for shopping, I tried taking him out as soon as he misbehaved, and it added to the problem. He hates to go shopping;) So he started to scream GO!! as soon as we started shopping. I have started to take little snacks like a sm. box of raisins and I try to limit my time to around 30 min. per store. It seems to help some. If you find something else that works please let us know.

My kids are now 13 and 14 but at 14 mom apart and as a single mom it was a challenge to go anywhere. I agree about the leaving if misbehaving as the kids are smart and will soon learn that if they want to go, they will behave. As to the letting the child stand in a booth etc, I just want to add as a former waitress and a patron of restaurants that if you cannot control your child you need to not go...yes, I know that is harsh but think about the person(s) sitting behind that child in the booth - it is not fun and for me, eating out is a real treat and then the money is wasted as we cannot enjoy our meal....and the waitress/waiter really does not get paid to clean up after ultra messy kids - paint on table/food all over the floor ..... I always cleaned up after my kids, including the floor.....as to letting them run around anywhere - grocery store or restaurant, that is a nightmare for the other patrons..........the key as pointed out is teaching obedience and keeping them occupied and comfortable (love the princess idea!)

B.......been there, done that, have the t-shirt

I had the exact same problem with my nearly 3 year old. .. I am not into selling a product to moms in need of help but a friend got this for me and I absolutely swear by it!! 6 months after working with through a lot of their suggestions- she is quite a different kid (we are ALL a lot happier)

www.loveandlogic.com (toddler - preschool cd set and book are the ones I used - they sometimes can be foudn on ebay too).

Best of luck to you my dear!

I know you don't want to read a book right now, but! One that really helped me is "On Becoming Babywise."

The important thing to realize is this is a POWER STRUGGLE and you have to really make this sweet, wild little creature believe that you are the boss! She must learn to mind you, because it could become a safety issue. I learned from other moms that if your child refuses to obey, you just pick them up and leave. Yes, that may mean leaving groceries in the cart! That may mean lots of "wasted" time - but remember that your focus right now is training your child to obey, and removing her from situations when she doesn't. If you and your husband can agree that he will back you up by picking up groceries on the way home or later in the evening (for the times you have to leave), it will help.

I would say just realize this is a battle of wills and you need to win it! I didn't do this very well with my first one, and we are having to back-track even now. With my second one, I am much firmer because I know the price I'm still paying by letting my strong-willed child get away with tantrums, etc, more than I should have. :)

Good luck!

When my daughter was that age we would go to restaurants that were pretty laid back and we would get a booth and let our daughter stand up in the booth and we would bring things for her to do- like draw or finger paint with those mess free paints. IHOP was our favorite place to go because it was mostly just college kids. As for the grocery thing, we used to have that problem but now at our Walmart in Lewisville on Main St. they have these cars that you pay 1 dollar for and the kid gets to drive it and it plays a cartoon. It is so great that I dont dread grocery shopping anymore.

C.,
It sounds like you have more than one job! Have you ever heard of ECI? They might be able to come to your home and help you. You can call 800-628-5115 and get your local program information or you can go to http://www.dars.state.tx.us/ecis/index.shtml to see what ECI is about.
J.

My daughter will be two in February. I can't wait to see the responses that you get. I have the exact same problem. My daughter was jumping out of her car seat carrier since she was born. All she does is run and laugh in the stores and when I pick her up, she lets out a blood curdling scream. I started reading the book The Happiest Toddler on the Block the other night. That seems to be a popular book on Mamasource. It's good to know that someone else is in the same boat.

My son used to be the same way when he was that age. I would do anything to get through the grocery store. I go to wal-mart, First I pull into the McDonalds and get him a chocolate milk, which he can only have if he sits in the basket. Then,sometimes I go to the greeting card area and let him pick some stickers out and then I let him cover the front of my shirt with stickers while we shop(sometimes my face too...) I have no problem singing or being really silly in public with him. I would also(if I was desperate) give him food, I will open some goldfish or whatever. Now he has a gameboy and that keeps him busy. I just always make a list before I go and get thru as fast as possible. As far as going out to eat, we are still working on that too...