Conflicted over Whether to Send My 3 Year Old to Preschool or Not

You are doing a fine job. You don't need to send him to preschool for academics. The reason to send him is for him to learn to handle a classroom and learn socialization skills with children his age.

The park and moms groups are not the same as a classroom that has structure day in and day out, like school. Also, with the same adults in the classroom sheparding the kids.

That's the biggest reason why moms do preschool. It's not really for the academics. The playing that preschool facilitates is the kind of play that helps a child learn all kinds of skills, including those of working with each other.

If you don't want to send your child, you don't have to. But 3 hours a day for 3 days a week isn't going to hurt you and your child's bond with each other. It will give him more to talk to you about and teach him to be comfortable in more situations when his mom is not with him.

D.

6 moms found this helpful

Hi,

I would say that he needs social interactions with his peers, so yes. On the other hand, you can still do educational things with him at home and still take him on outings. One thing to keep in mind is that the educational requirements for entering K are unbelievable.. My daughter starts this sept and even though she is extremely smart and so eager to learn, the things that I thought she was going to be taught when she got there, she needs to know them before she gets there. Find out what he needs to learn and work on that, if you can provide the social settings that he e needs, which is a lot, then I say teach on! Parents are teachers and we are highly capable of teaching our kids before and after school starts!!!

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It is not only 'academics.'
It is for socialization and learning about 'friends' and people and group constructs and listening to a Teacher etc.

My daughter at that age, asked US, to go to school. So we enrolled her. She loved it.
She needed it and the other socialization etc.
I home schooled her previous to that and even after.

My son started at 4.5 years old. He didn't want to go earlier.
I knew him. But at about 4.5 years old, he started to talk about Preschool and we found one that HE liked. HE chose it and it is a GREAT preschool. He is happy. He will then go to Kindergarten soon.
I home schooled him too, previously and still.

My kids, benefited from the socialization/activities/making friends and being in a group dynamic, that was away from home.
Both my kids, adapted to Preschool GREAT. NO angst, at all or crying. They were happy.
They told me.
They even wanted to go everyday, but we couldn't afford it.

Again, it is not just about academics or what a child can do already.
Go per your child, sure.
But for my kids, they at the ages they started Preschool, they needed it... per their growing sense of selves and emotionally. They wanted to.

EACH preschool is different. Some are academic, some are not.
It varies.

My kids, both of them, CHOSE the preschool they liked. I took them to many and with them, and per their cues and what I saw, they told me... which school they liked.
And these were good schools.

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I think it's optional. Your son probably doesn't NEED preschool at this age, and he won't be left behind if you don't send him. It's a great opportunity for kids who need an extra boost either socially or academically. Everyone has their own reason for sending or not sending. For some it's money, for others it socialization. I sent my daughter because she is actually very social, and loves things like that. I am a SAHM, and we felt so cooped up the previous Winter when we couldn't get out a lot, and I decided she should go so we could BOTH have time for our ourselves! We both benefitted from a little time away from each other! Kids can always benefit from new experiences. Since it's a lot of socialization and playing in school this age, and since they generally love it, i don't see it as "school" at this age, and figure that it's good to start early if it makes everyone happy.

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Go with your gut and keep him home another year. You are doing an awesome job and they are only little for such a short time. My son and I did the same kinds of things you two do. I had the preschool option also, but waited another year until he was 4 1/2 and I had a shy boy. I also did the 1/2 day kindergarten for him, while others did full day and now going into 3rd grade he is an awesome, well adjusted and very well-behaved student. He won't be missing anything with all the great things you guys do together.

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Preschool is where they learn to listen and follow directions. They learn to go a few hours without mommy. They learn to do what they are asked at the time they are asked. They learn to get along with others and fit into the crowd. They learn how to take turns and sit where asked to sit, and wait in line and behave in a civilized manner. They learn all this stuff so when they start Kindergarten they will be better equiped to learn the academics that come along. In the process of learning these things in preschool they also happen to learn things like colors, numbers, letters sounds, shapes and directions, days of the week and others. Some people think preschool is all play, and it is to some extent. Keep in mind, everytime a child plays, they are learning something. It all comes together to help them be prepared to learn the big stuff in the next grades. A kindergarten teacher would have a tough time teaching the letter A and its sounds to a group of kids who had never been taught how to stay sitting and listen without crying about missing mommy. Your child may know all the "stuff" youve helped him learn at home, but its really hard for mom at home, with maybe only a couple other kids, to teach all the things that can only be taught in a group of 20 peers. Its the experience that does it, and without the experiance they may have a harder time in kindergarten when everyone else is ready to settle down and learn.

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My daughter has never been to preschool a day in her life and will be turning five in August. She knows all of the skills and academic information she would get in preschool: colors, numbers, shapes, how to glue, how to cut, how to color, how to write her name and many other letters, etc.. She is beginning to read, and she is also starting to do simple addition and subtraction as well as other early math skills. Socially, she's also fine. She gets along well with most people (other than her oldest brother), and although she isn't perfect (who is?), for the most part she behaves appropriately in various social settings...still a work in progress, but certainly not behind. My opinion, they have more than enough time for school, never enough time to be a child. You won't have this time again and neither will your son. I'd recommend enjoying it together, but again, that's just my opinion.

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My 3.5 year old daughter has been nagging my husband and I about wanting to go since she was 2 year's old! So we registered her for two day's a week and did a.m. classes, so it'll be 2 and ahalf hours. She's excited! I'm the one having a rough time though :( My little girl is literally going to be going to school! But everyone has their opinions about sending them at age 3 but I say the more they get used to sitting in a learning enviorment the better!
P.s.. The social part is the reason why I am choosing to send her, as far as the academic part, she has it all down! Send him and let him make some new school friends, im sure he'll love it!

ADD ON- and I am not sending my daughter to pre-school so that someone can babysitt her!? And my daughter is our third child and very intelligent, I am a stay at home mother and find it insulting when someone-Crunchymama-claim's that the mothers that do send their kids to pre-school (such as myself) don't want to take part in teaching their child or need someone to watch their kid. I take pride in caring, loving and teaching my children. Again, there's much more to sending a child to school, and it's definately not for someone to babysitt my child. I'm sure alot will agree.

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My son was in a transition class last year and at 3.5+ is starting "real" preschool this year. I don't really think in terms of the academics - one reason I don't see the need for fancy preschools that cost a fortune - at this age, but the socialization is great.

We have been active in SO many playgroups, gymboree, play dates, moms clubs, kid events, etc but those experiences are still very different from his time in school. For one, I am at all of the other functions; the only time he is away from me is when he is in school. He needs to learn/continue to learn how to listen to others and interact with others when I am not with him.

School also provides him with different opportunities - new toys, new kids I haven't met before, new concepts I didn't realize he was ready for. We do some kind of outing or special activity together everyday on top of just playing at home and I'll admit, after a while it seems we are doing a lot of the same stuff and getting bored. School gives him a chance to do something new and then it's exciting to have him tell me about it. And I'm sure he's learning new skills from different types of play.

Your school will be over by lunchtime. That's plenty of time for you to still enjoy lunch together and explore the world in the afternoon, either on your own or with other moms and kids. And you also get two days each week where you have the entire time to enjoy each other's company. Even with my son in school, we do things like the zoo, play gyms, botanical gardens, museums, pool, library events, special exhibits and more every week (we have passes to what seems like everything around town!). In fact, we always do an outing after each school day as a way to reconnect.

The time he's in school is when I can work and if there is no work that day, run errands that are harder to do with him in tow.

I also love that he is around childcare experts that can help me identify any developmental issues or offer advice on behaviors.

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I didn't send any of my 3 to pre-school. We couldn't afford it for one, and for two I only got 5 years where they were ALL mine. I wasn't willing to give that up.

My kids are now 18, 16 and 13. My oldest just graduated from high school, scored a 26 on the ACT, 1785 on the SAT and took 4 AP classes his senior year. My daughter took 1 ap class last year and will be in all honors classes in the fall. And my youngest will be in advanced classes for english and math (in fact he'll be taking algebra 2 as an 8th grader). And aside from the youngest who has special issues ... have been a joy to their teachers and their classmates.

Either way you choose to go will be fine. Do what feels most comfortable for you.

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I agree that at this age, it's not about academic learning, but socialization and preparing for the routine of school. Keep him home if you feel HE is doing fine socially with playgroups and the like. He would have a tougher transition to Kindergarten - just b/c of the time away from home and the different routine, but he'll adjust. Each child is different. There is no right or wrong answer, just trust your instincts

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I, too, felt that there was a tremendous pressure to send my children to preschool. However, my husband and I decided not to send our first child to preschool and now I am so happy we made the decision to educate her at home instead. Preschool can offer a lot academically and socially, but so can a full time Mom at home. The common assumption among childhood educators is that Moms cannot teach their own children, so it must be left up to trained educators. Well, I figure if I can teach my 2 or 3 yr old to use the toilet, I can probably teach them their ABCs and 123s and a whole lot more. Socially, it's true that in preschool your child will be exposed to possibly more children more hours during the week, but I'm not sure this is always a good thing. The interaction they have with other children is not always closely supervised and thus inappropriate behavior between children goes unchecked. I am not trying to criticize teachers, be the facts are that when there are many more children than adults, lots will be missed as far as training and discipline of children. It's not possible to really see and hear everything in a room full of lively children.
I believe that children learn best when they are secure. Trust and security is fostered in the birth-age 5 years with a secure relationship with the Mom and Dad. My daughter is 6 yrs old now and is a fantastic student. She loves reading, writing, Math, and Latin. I invested in a simple preschool curriculum when she turned 4 and I was able to teach her to read and write. I took advantage of play groups with others I knew that really watched their children and trained them how to interact with others. I took her to the zoo, children's museums, science centers, fire station tours, candy factory tours, and countless other learning opportunities. She plays with about 6 or 7 children her age with my supervision in my front yard almost every day during the cool months and attends church activities with other children at least weekly. She has no anxiety when she is separate from me in either a classroom setting or a social event with other adults and children. She gets along very well with children of all ages showing manners, appropriate sympathy and empathy, and cooperation. There will always be pressure to parent like others do, but I'm so glad my husband and I have the freedom to make our own decisions with our children's best interest at heart.

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He's a three year old boy. Let him run around and explore and be a boy. You are doing great with him at home. As long as he knows his alphabet and can write his name before he starts school then he will be fine. Pre-school is more for the parents who, for whatever reason can't do it at home, or need a break from their kids. If you don't fall in one of these categories I would keep him home as long as you can.

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I'm personally opposed to preschool for my kids (for those that put your kids in preschool, this is meant as no judgement on you). I think since you're a SAHM and have the option of play groups, you should go that route.

At this age, there is no reason to be pushing academics. It will NOT help them develop faster. There is some pretty interesting info about it that has made me feel very confident in not doing preschool (fun crafts and stuff, sure! but I won't do preschool). It's actually showing that it's more beneficial to wait longer because their brain develops more and they create a more efficient pathway in their brain when they are introduced information when their brain is more developed. If the info is introduced young, then an inefficient pathway is developed creating a potential blocking of learning further on.

Also, I read a study a while back showing the difference between starting kids in school at 5 years old vs 7 yrs old. I think it was England (5 yrs) and Sweden (7 yrs), but I might be remembering wrong. The 7 year olds excelled quickly and their understanding was deeper and in the end, they had better results than the 5 yr olds.

Younger is definitely NOT always better. It can actually do the opposite. Anyway, so that's my opinion on it. I'm sure preschool is great for activities and socializing, but that can be done in a non-preschool setting.

Little example, my son at 4 years old didn't know any of his letter sounds. I hadn't done any schooling with him other than fun crafts, etc. He recognized all his letters, but no sounds. He seemed interested in learning, and while I am personally not interested in teaching my kids young, I am also a believer in child led learning. So, since he was interested, I let him lead the way. In two days he knew all his sounds from watching a DVD (might have been sooner, but I didn't ask him until two days later). Over the next four months, he went from only knowing his sounds to reading first grade level (and a couple of those months were hit or miss with me teaching him because of morning sickness). So, he didn't learn at 2 or 3, but when he was interested, it was FAST. Then he lost interest again. He's 4.5 years old, and I'm not going to push it. He's quite bright. I know I could push him to learn things, but based off of what I've read, I'm fully convinced that unless my son pushes to learn things right now, the best thing for him is to play and explore his world. Then his brain will be even more developed and he'll learn things very quickly when he's ready.

That was probably more than you wanted to know, but there it is...hehe!

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I felt the same as you. It only got worse when I actually started checking out public and private schools in my area when it came time to enroll for preschool. I found that if I was to have my child able to attend any elementary program worth it's salt, they would need to go to a full-time (part-time is no longer the norm!) preschool. It is more and more becoming a requirement in school districts everywhere.

When meeting with teachers and exploring programs, it seemed kids who didn't go to preschool were singled out by teachers. Without provocation, they all (both public and private teachers) made comments that they can tell which kids had preschooling because they seemed socially slower and academically behind the other kids who had been in preschool. I'm not sure if they thought it would influence me to enroll in their program or what, but it backfired. I was pretty upset that there was this apparent bias going on, especially since I think this sort of reasoning is ridiculous...but that's another topic.

My choices turned me off so much, I was very upset. Then just when I was about to throw in the towel, (and choose a school I really thought was a bad fit for my kids) an aquaintance of my husband suggested I explore homeschooling.

Initially I never even considered this as an option, it wasn't on my radar. I was so unenthused with my choices for schools, I decided to go to a homeschool convention in my area and based on what I saw, was totally excited by the idea.

So then I went a step further and attended a workshop on how to get started, and before I knew it, I enrolled my kids in a homeschool correspondence program and the rest is history.

It turned out to be a great fit for us. My kids are academically thriving and are ahead of their peers academically. We found a community of other homeschoolers for the social aspects of education and our kids have plenty of friends and outside activities, and we all love the curriculum we use.

Perhaps you might like going this route as well. I think you need to give yourself the benefit of exploring what it is about the idea of preschool that has you so hesitant. Do you think your feelings will change about schooling in a year or two when your children are older? Or is this more about how schooling is done in general? Do you prefer spending more time with your children versus sending them away for most of the day for their education? Don't let others bully you or make your decisions for you. Check out homeschooling and all options and then decide what is right for your child.

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Obviously, it depends on the child and where they are going to be happiest and how much mom and dad are really prepping them for kindergarten. I don't know if 3 year old preschool is that essential, but 4 year old probably is. My daughter is turning 4 next month, we did 3 yo PS for her last year (it was 2 mornings a week) and she will be doing 4 yo PS this fall (4 mornings a week). The 3 yo program was more play-based learning while the 4 yo program may be more academic. There is more that is expected of them in kindergarten nowadays, compared to when we were kids, and a good 4 yo program can prepare them for that. I have heard from some kindergarten teachers that they can tell which kids did preschool and which did not, just based on how quickly and easily they adjusted to the structure and routine that comes with being in kindergarten. In the program I had my daughter in, it was through our school district, and they even did periodic assessments to make sure she was at least where she should be development-wise (i.e. drawing a person with at least 3 identifiable features; understanding that when counting objects, each one only gets counted once).

As others have mentioned, sometimes it's the socialization with other kids that is more important. The experience of being able to be comfortable separating from you. Being able to get along in a group and listen to another adult as an authority figure. And if he's only there 9 hours a week, that still leaves plenty of time for him to still be home with you, and to be able to visit places like the zoo and the library. It's only 3 mornings a week - you would still have the other 4 mornings, and every afternoon together if you want.

My SIL did not do any preschool with her older son, thinking it really wasn't that important, but in hind sight, she really should have done it. Because at home all he was doing was watching TV and playing video games and he was very timid and clingy in general. She didn't want to send him because she was so worried about how he would handle being away from her when I think really, that was exactly why she should have sent him, so he could get used to being away from her. When he had to started kindergarten, he had a terrible time of it - he was just totally unprepared, and ended up repeating kindergarten just so he could catch up to where he should have been.

My daughter is very social, and very bright, and for her, preschool gave her the stimulation and interaction with other kids that she craves. She adored her teacher and loved seeing her new little friends there. There are always arts and crafts projects to do, new stories to hear, new songs to learn. As much as I try to have things for her to do at home, as well as other places, it's just not enough for her - I guess Mommy is just too boring, LOL!

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My 3 yr old daughter will be going in the fall, two mornings a week. She is going mostly for socialization, and if she learns things as well than that's great. My oldest I did not send until she was 4. She had no problems in Kindergarten. I think preschool is good for the socialization at this age, and if you are already doing that, then I think he will be fine either way.

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I waited until age 4 with my son, and he LOVED it! Before age 4, instead of a preschool, I just set up a little co-op with 3 other moms. We each took a turn every 4th week having it at our house. It was just an hour and a half. Sometimes we'd plan a craft or lesson or field trip, other weeks it would just be a playdate. It was really relaxed and fun! You could do something like that for now.

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I waited to put my kids in preschool until the year before Kindergarten. The NUMBER ONE reason I put them in PS was because I wanted them to get used to being away from me for longer than an hour or two on a regular basis. I didn't want them to stay home with me all day long, then all of a sudden be away from me all day. I wanted to give them an idea as to what it will be like taking direction from someone else like a teacher and also get accustomed to the classroom environment. Yeah, the socialization aspect was great for they made alot of wonderful friends. But like I said, just getting an idea of what to expect in school with teachers and lunchrooms what what I wanted to prepare them for.

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My thoughts: I was also surprised to realize that most people I know consider preschool as a necessity these days. I never went to preschool and I excelled in school and always loved learning. I love spending time nurturing and teaching my children, and I put off the time they're gone from me all day as long as possible. I absolutely think of it as optional. Studies have shown they all catch up by 2nd grade, so any advantages kids might kid from pre-k are not long-term. I personally think a child will get more benefit out of interaction with a loving parent at that age.

My experience: I personally did preschool at home with both of my kids when they were 3, then put them in a Montessori preschool the year before kindergarten when they were 4 to ease the transition to school, (one is now 6, the other is 4) and did half-day kindergarten. With my first child I used a Montessori approach and any other creative ideas I came up with. It was amazing. Check out the book "How to Raise an Amazing Child the Montessori Way" for some good ideas on activities. There are also websites with some online learning games, and there are just TONS of ways to teach a child at home in ways that are intriguing to the child. I think his learning experience was much more enriching this way, plus it saves a ton of money. Not only was he learning, but also bonding with me. My son excelled in kindergarten and was 1 of only 2 kids in his kindergarten class who tested into the gifted program so he wasn't behind at all.

For my second child, my daughter, I was invited to join a preschool co-op called Joy School with 5 kids and 5 moms, so every 5 weeks I taught on Monday and Wednesday afternoon. We had a great group of dependable moms and used a wonderful curriculum that focuses on teaching them to experience the different joys in life rather than academics (http://www.valuesparenting.com/joyschool/). I also incorporated my own teaching activities I had come up with with my son. My daughter LOVED (and I mean LOVED) this little group and would rather do it than real preschool next year. It was more work and structure than what I did with my son, which is good and bad. It was more stressful to teach 5 little kids (plus my son who was home from kindergarten in the afternoons). I could delve deeper into subjects when teaching just my 2 kids, but with the co-op my daughter got more consistent teaching since it was an organized schedule. Bottom line: I preferred teaching just my 2 kids, my kids preferred the co-op.

I am a member of MOMS Club (www.momsclub.org to find your local chapter) and I really enjoy it, and it helped eased my concern over my children socializing and interacting with other children since they didn't attend preschool at age 3.

One more thing, three extremely similar "requests" have been posted on mamasource, so I suggest looking back in the archives to see the responses those mothers received. Here are the links:
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/17318259280276684801
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/303077268677197825?ak=...
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/10879874065347117057?a...

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take it from someone who worked in preshool setting for over 23yrs.. It;s not always the right choice for everyone.. If you feel your child is learning appropritely through you great keep going don't put your child in preschool for socialization because you can't control who is in that class.. there will be kids that cry all day cause they don't want to be there, there will be kids there that are not at the level you feel your son is at etc.. If yu just feel he needs socialization & interaction then look for a playgroup, go to the parks, mall play area's...specially look at is your child an outgoing child because if they are not really then forcing to go to preschool can make it harder for them.. good luck in what ever aspect you choose.. remember each child learns at different stages..

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H.,
I would not send him at all. If a loving mother has any option to stay with her child, that is the absolute best option for that child. Preschool is a new phenomenon. And, it has become so popular because so many mothers work instead of staying home with their children. I think there is so much pressure now to put kids in preschool because it is the natural progression of things moving from making working moms not feel guilty about putting them there in the first place. We have swung so far in that direction that stay at home moms now feel guilty for NOT putting them there. Any "expert" worth his or her salt would have to admit that a child is best served in their own home environment with his mother. Self esteem, manners, confidence, etc. are best learned at home. They are most likely not learned in an institution, which is what preschool is. Children do not thrive best being institutionalized. Don't be pressured into putting him in a daycare aka preschool. He doesn't need it. Can you tell I feel strongly about this? :)

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Preschool at the age of three is all about the socialization. Learning to work in a group / play in a group / follow directions. Learning the colors / numbers etc is a happy by product. My kids did a tuesday / thursday program that lasted 3 hours at the age of 3 and then did the mon / wed / fri program same hours at 4. because of birthday issues they both were 5 when starting kindergarten so they had the extra time.

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Preschool is about socialization, transition and structure. Wait until four unless you feel your son is lacking any of these areas.

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I have 10 years background in Early Childhood Education, and am currently homeschooling two kids.

Preschool is a supplementary activity, like piano lessons and soccer. Certainly many kids do well in preschool. Other kids do badly. It's not a need.

Connect with the homeschooling parents in your area. Even if you're not planning on homeschooling in elementary school, you'll get lots of social and practical support for not doing preschool.

Sign your child up for any program based on the fact that *you* think it's a good program for *your* family and *your* child. Ignore the societal pressure.

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Hi my name is R., I am a 50 year old mother of 2. When my kids were little I became a single mom and had to go to work. I was totally against sending my kids to day care, in fact it scared me to death I heard a lot of horror stories, so I started a day care in my home. I took care of 5 kids 2 infants a 3 year old a 5 year old and a 10 year old after school. 3 of them were at my house at 5 am one at 12 and her sister after school till 8 pm. I loved them all but it was very hard work and the pay was terrible. I stopped doing my career because of this and when my kids were a little older I started working in day cares and did it for 12 years because I loved it. I learned that I was so wrong about my thoughts on day cares. They are a great place for kids, they learn so much in fact they have lesson plans for every age, activities and lots of other kids to play, learn and become social and the staff honestly love children, thats why they are there because the pay is low and the work is hard. I think its the best thing for them especially from age 2. Best of luck to you.

It depends on the child IMO. One of my 5 kids did not attend school until required (Kindergarten) because I did not think she would thrive in that situation. Yet, some of my other kids, needed to go at age 2!!! Let your child lead!

I think it just depends. My daughter was really shy, painfully shy. We sent her to preschool at age 3 and it was the best thing for her. She finally came out of her shell, made friends, and loved going to school and playing with other kids. She only went for 6 hours a week and since we had a new baby at home it was a good way for her to get out an play. If you think your son doesn't need preschool I wouldn't worry about it. He is only 3, at this time it comes down to personal preference.

Our son (who was quite a smart little guy at age 3) did a play based preschool 3 mornings a week. It was a co-op preschool so I volunteered there as well, which was really fun for me. Anyway, it was not academic (like you I was not at all worried or concerned about his academic skills bc he was doing just fine) but centered on play based themes each week like dinosaurs, spring, volcanoes, healthy food, snow, space. The kids did all these cool hands on activities, made things, had outdoor play every day, ate a snack served family style, danced, sang songs and had circle time. They did some academic type stuff too but it did not center on this. I thought it was wonderful bc our son really enjoyed it, loved loved loved his teachers, became really well socialized, and was not at all nervous when it was time to start Kindergarten. Some kids were so nervous and had a hard time that first month of Kindergarten. But our son was READY. I think you do not need to have your son do preschool, and most likely he will also feel ready and happy to start Kindergarten even if he does not do preschool. I just wanted to tell you my experience!

Sounds like you're a great M.. I have always sent my 3 year olds to a 2 day a week program that was play based just so they would understand that I drop them off then 2 hours later I pick them up. Go with what your gut is telling you to do. If it doesn't feel right, then don't send him. Your child may love it! My oldest is 16, I remember bawling after I dropped him off the first day. Jeeze, that doesn't happen anymore. Lol.

I sent my child to preschool so he could be around kids his own age. His siblings are much older, his cousins are much older, and there were no neighbors around during the day. If you can provide lots of socialization another way....

I also don't feel that a 3 year old needs to be in preschool. But at the same time a few hours a week can't do any damage (unless the teacher is just horrible). I too have a degree in elementary education and feel totally equiped to be able to teach him what he needs to know before starting school. I used to think that putting a 3-yr-old in preschool was silly. But I opted to send my son to preschool because it was nice to have a little mommy time. I also had just had a baby, so it was important for my own sanity. Those few hours he was gone and the baby was sleeping were as good as gold. I found one that was reasonably priced and he enjoyed. He has been out for the summer and I will be re-enrolling him int the 4yr old class in the fall. He can't wait for school to start again. I feel he is benefitting from it b/c he is learning to have fun and do things away from mommy, he is making friends (I love hearing his stories about his friends), and he is learning. So if I were you, just try it out. If he seems to not like it or you aren't yet comfortable with having him go, then pull him out and try again when he is 4.

If I were to send him, I would do two days this year and then three days
next year. I loved having my kids at home. They grow up so fast. Sounds
like you are doing a great job. So I think either way would be fine. If you did
not send him, he is enjoying time with you and the new experiences you
expose him to. If you do send him, he will enjoy being with kids his own
age. It is a win/win situation for you both. Either way everyone gains.
Good luck.

Hi, it sounds like you have been a very attentive and active SAHM! I agonized over this very same decision just a few months ago. We decided to enroll our 3 year old, and actually we found a summer program with after care, so it ends up being 8am-3pm, 3 days a week! I am SO GLAD we decided to do it! We are lucky to have found a place that encourages parents to come in and "visit" their kids while they are in school, until the child feels comfortable being there alone. Like your child, my daughter can write her own name, knows numbers/colors, etc. but in just the 4 weeks since she started she has already learned a number of wonderful, basic, practical things. For instance, when she is at home and I try to enforce things like regular handwashing (before meals, after playing outside, etc.) it doesn't really work, but when she is at school, and she sees the whole class of kids lining up at the bathroom after playing outdoors, it reinforces what I have been trying to teach her at home. It has now become a habit. She also gets to pick a "job" each day, and she looks forward to passing out snacks at snack time, turning off the light at rest time, or doing whatever her job is for that day. I imagine it makes her feel like she is a contributing member of the group, and I think that is something that I just can't teach her at home. She is a great kid, but she has had a hard time finding her place when she's in a group. Slowly but surely she is starting to open up at school and become part of the group. It is so important. When I pick her up at the end of the day the other kids say goodbye and wave. Some of them wave at the window and it makes her feel so good. So great for her confidence. She is still a really shy kid, and I'm sure that is how she will always be, but I feel like at least now she has the confidence to approach another quiet child and ask that child to play. That is something she never would have done before. It may not sound like much but to her it is a huge milestone.
In addition she now knows the days of the week, she can discuss the weather, and she is willing to put on/take off her own shoes and clothes. Honestly I don't really care much about the academic piece; I'm more interested in seeing her grow socially.
I would encourage you to visit some schools until you find one you are comfortable with. Give it a shot and see how it goes. It will probably be a bit difficult in the beginning. Our daughter cried a few times, and we had a few difficult drop-offs. If our shy daughter can get past that initial fear and spend a full day at school/aftercare, then anyone can. Good luck with your decision!

Trust your instincts. I was a teacher so I could teach my child obviously.
My husband convinced me my only child needed to be socialized more and that she was too dependent on me. We kept dragging her there and later realized the teacher was a mean bully to the kids so we switched.
It would have been better to wait till K or maybe preK.
Society is right that for kids who are neglected and abused, preschool is much better. I say for those in our situation, home is the place to be.

I didn't ready the other responses, so I hope this isn't redundant. I think the MWF program you enrolled him in will be perfect for both of you. Here's my 2 cents...

I run an in home daycare and have 2 school aged kids of my own. I really believe that at least 1 year of preschool is really beneficial for kids before they go into kindergarten. Some people don't like daycare (which is fine) but I see daycare as a good stepping stone to preschool and preschool a good steppingstone to kinder. Both help children learn to trust and take direction from an adult other than mom and Dad and helps the become more flexible in both dealing with different environments and different people (both kids and teachers).

In most cases preschool is not about academics. It's really about social skills. And in a good preschool, kids get a different experience that will benefit them more than a Mom's group (short timeframe, same small group of kids, Mom's constant supervision) or a park and rec class that is structured.

I don't currently offer a preschool "curriculum" in may daycare, but we do lots of preschool readiness types of things. Learning colors, shapes, ABC's, counting, social skills (sharing, using words to express feelings and needs, table manners), painting (both easel and table, fingerpainting, brush painting, and with different mediums), cutting with scissors, gluing, playdoh, small and large motor skill play, art music, sign language, growing plants, the growth cycle of a butterfly etc... BUT even with all of that, I have a wide range of kids (from 6mo-5 years). It is not the same for the preschool age kids to do all of those things at my house as it is to do them with KIDS THEIR OWN AGE. That's the big difference.

Depending on your son's personality, he might be fine without preschool. But I would say in most cases, kids who have at least one year before kindergarten have an easier time than those who don't.

Good luck!

I also wanted to add that I didn't send my kids to preschool until they were 4. Most of the kids I see in my daycare are ready for more socialization by the time they are 3 or 3 1/2. This is not true of every child though.
It sounds like you already found a preschool that you like, so that's great. I always tell people to keep in mind that there are lots of options with preschool, just like in daycare. You want to look at a lot of them to find the one that is right for you, and stay aware and involved that your child is getting what he needs there.

I struggled with that same issue with my kids. They were already very bright and my one child could already read. I did send them to preschool at the age of 3, mornings onT & Th. and then M,W,F mornings at 4 yrs. old. I knew that more social involvement would benefit them, as well as taking instruction from someone besides me. It was a very parent-involved preschool and I do not regret sending them. They had bikes to ride, a garden to tend to and look for bugs, learned songs, helped to cook pancakes, etc. Mornings were spent writing names and addresses and going over the calendar (month, days of week and numbers). It was more of a learning through doing, rather than strict academic. My kids had a great experience and enjoyed it. I, myself never went to preschool and was very shy. I kind of wondered it maybe I wouldn't have been so shy if I had gone to preschool?

Hi H., I haven't had time to read the rest of the posts, but when i was your age, I struggled with the same thing. so I kept my oldest home. When he was 5 I started him on kindergarten type activities with me (sounds like you've more than done this already) and then on a wild whim I decided to home school kindergarten. we were having so much fun that I didn't want to stop. One of my friends suggested we home school 1st grade. I'd never considered doing it long term. however now, my oldest has graduated high school and started college in civil engineering, number 2 is a senior, 3 is a junior and 4 is a freshman. And I wouldn't change a thing. They are better educated, well socialized (meaning they live at peace with each other and others and can talk to people of all ages not just their peers) and I'm enjoying them more and more each day. they don't feel gipped or left out. They have loved the adventure from start to finish. they're YOUR kids and no one has as great an interest in them and their future than you. It stands to reason then, that no one can educate them better than you. consider keeping him home! best wishes!
K.

You have a lot of responses, but just a few statistics...studies have shown that kids who know letters, numbers, colors, etc. vs. those who do not at the beginning of Kindergarten...by third grade, they all even out whether they went to preschool or not. The same with all day kindergarten or 1/2 day kindergarten.

The best thing you can do do your son is read to him EVERY DAY. This will teach him about the world around him, and will give him the background knowledge he needs to learn to read when he gets to school.

Whether or not you enroll him in preschool is personal preference.