I have an 8 year old son, who is in the 2nd grade. He has an August birthday. In Kindergarten we decided to hold him back so he would be one of the oldest the next year and have more confidence. He did great the next year. In first grade, there were some hard times, but he had tutorials to help him out. Now we have moved, he started a new school, new teachers, everything. His teacher says he's reading at his level, but he isn't comprehending what he's reading. He forgot some stuff he learned about Math in the first grade, so now he'll be back on tutorials. The teacher is a little worried, but excused that he is in new surroundings and he's extremely shy. (he won't raise his hand in class and he has hardly any confidence). Some of my friends have mentioned that he should be tested for a learning disability and that has me worried. I was wondering if anyone else had this problem? I know boys are slower in the learning than girls. We have him in football and he's still shy, how do I raise his confidence, too.
Thanks to all of you who responded and have given me great advice and encouragement, I really appreciate it.
I talked to the school counselor and she stated that if he had a "severe" case, they would already have spoken to me and he would be in SEE Tutorials(which he isn't in any tutorials right now). There is alot of interventions that they would have to go through for a learning disability and base it on the severity of the problems he has(if any). She is going to talk to his teacher and get a progress report from her. Basically with the new school, etc, he might be intimidated. She told me to have him read to me and stop at every page and ask a question about it.(as someone responed about doing, thanks!) I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it is just a little phase and he'll come out of his shell and be a great reader and as a result become more confident, too.
i am having the same problem with my son, he is in third grade and is eight years old. I really don't think it is a learning disorder, it just takes boys longer to catch on. my son is slowly catching on also. but he goes to tutorials also. with the help he gets at school, i believe he will be okay.
I know that it is troubling when the curriculum says that a child should be doing a certain thing, but he just isn't doing it yet. I highly recommend the book, "Better Late Than Early," by Raymond and Dorothy Moore. Your son may indeed have a learning disability, or he may just be right on target for a boy. Keep reading *to* him, and asking questions about what was read. Keep things light and fun, and don't stress him out about it. Get him tested to rule out any disability, but relax.
K.
AR
D.
My son who is 13 now was doing the very same thing when he read. We would read outloud together and after a few pages I would ask him about what we read and he would not remember. Sometimes he would not remember how to sound out a word right after we just read it! I was worried. I was told everything from ADD to a Learning Disablility. I just stuck with him reading and working with him on his homework.He also participated in some really great reading programs at school. Now he is an excellent reader and really enjoys it! Please don't go the meds route. We tried that too and I regreted it. Keep working with him and praising him. He will build his confidence and become a better reader with you helping him through it all.
In reality you need to have him evaluated by a neuropsychologist. This type of assessment will help determine a child's development in cognitive functions such as attention, memory, language, visual/motor skills, academic skills, personality and behavior. UT has a good clinic. Texas childrens has the Bluebird Clinic. There are many out in the outlying areas of Houston. Do not rely solely on the school's assessments to determine the course of your child's educational journey. Realize that this is from a parent that is fighting the school district for her own child's rights. If you would want more information please send me a private message.
C.
D.,
My son is 3 years old and even though he wasnt in school I had noticed that when asking him to perform a simple task he couldnt quite understand what I was asking him to do. He understood the words but it didnt register with him what Exactly I was asking him to do. So my doctor said that maybe I should take him to a psychologist and see if he had a auditory problem. The doctor also said that kids who suffer from that have trouble remembering what they read and are usually the least confident in school. It can also be mistaken for A D D if not properly tested. I would consider going to a psychologist ( not a psychiatrist because they just prescribe meds) a psychologist will try to find the problem and fix it without medication. hope that helps.
Kay S said something that made excellent sense. The grade level expectations for children do not take into consideration gender. Boys just learn a little differently than girls. Your school has to provide your child with appropriate testing in order to discern your childs troubles as being a learning disability or something else like A.D.D.
Speaking of, my son who is 8 and in 2nd grade also, has gone through many tests through the school and they found that he did well on their comprehension tests, dyslexia tests, speech tests, language comprehension tests etc. He was finally diagnosed by his pediatrician as having A.D.D.
In my son's words "my mind is running around and I can't remember what I was thinking".
He had trouble expressing his feelings in words, or even to get his words together to explain an incident that happened 2 minutes ago.
It's good to get the school to test him to the fullest so that you can rule out those issues and they'll do it at no charge to you in most cases. I wish you loads of luck. Talk to the counselor at the school, they'll get you pointed in the right direction, and if they can't, get with your school's special services department. They can help you also.
I'll be pulling for you.
He is the only one that can gain more confidence,, but cheering him on is the best thing, and you are doing that... Try getting him a leap frog game that teaches math and comperehention,, he will have fun and learn at the same time and find something H E really likes,, no matter what that SOMETHING is,,, let him feel like the STAR of it and you will see a huge difference. I've been there.... Mommy of 4 boys and 1 girl.
I can't speak to your situation exactly, but I will tell you about a friend of mine that has a son that was having confidence issues. Instead of putting him in a team or group environment, such as football, she chose to put him in karate, where the sport focuses and recognizes the individual's accomplishments. I can tell you that I've witnessed him coming out of his shell in a very short time (less that a month or two.) Just a thought. Good luck.
Hey I had the same promblem when i was a kid the teachers told my mom that i was having problems understanding reading so they did a bunch of test on me and told me that i had a learnung disability. SO my mom just dealt with it. I was out into special ed classes and would make straight A's and the teachers could not understand why i was in there so they tested me again when i moved to Texas and i was a sophmore in High school and I was above average on everything else except for reading i was at a 5th grade level...My mom and i discovered that I can take what i'm reading and turn it upside down i understand what i'm reading so i got to be in "normal" classes. Its just a thought to try turning whatever he is reading upside down and see what happens i know it sounds stupid but for me it worked also for my son it worked...
Hi D.! I have been through so much with my son. He has come such a long way and I will spare you all of my details but I wanted to share with you one thing that we did that I truly believe helped him with his self confidence! He was very shy just as your little one is. He would never raise his hand, never looked anyone in the eye when he was talking (when you could get him to talk!) and was not making friends. The counselor talked with his teacher and picked another little boy that they thought was a good match. Once a week, my son and this other little boy would go down to the counselor's office and would play a game together. It really taught him how to interact with other children. Some kids just need a little more time when they are learning to be social. And it is something that we learn. Also, we put him in scouts and I can not tell you how wonderful that has been for him. He had tried Karate, soccer, etc...but he just did not do well in a group setting. Scouts is a great way for him to be independent within a group. He will learn to be a team player by being an individual. Great way for father and son to bond!! Today, my son is 11 and is doing wonderful! I would love to tell you more about all of our struggles with him and everything that we did to ensure that he was getting the appropriate help in school. If you would like to email me, please feel free and I can tell you more. Our school was so wonderful and I don't know where we would be today without all of their help! I know that early intervention is key and I hate to think about where he would be now if we had not done anything about his "issues". Whatever you choose to do, please listen to that mom heart...it really does know best, I promise.
I don't know if this will work for your son, but when I was in 7th or 8th grade I was diagnosed with a reading disorder. I could read, I just wouldn't comprehend. What I had to do (and even still sometimes have to do) is turn the book upside down. It sounds funny, but if you are reading something upside down you are having to consentrate on what you are reading, therefore you will remember it. If he get embarrased because people notice the book, tell him to put something behind it so they can't see, or if it is a school book, to put the bookcover on upside down. It sounds crazy, but it works for me.
I am a SAHM. I too have had the comprehension problems with my two boys, (8&7 yrs). Believe it or not it is a very common thing that kids read fluently but they just don't grasp the comprehension. The advice I was given is when your child reads to you every night you should stop him after every page and ask him a few questions about what he just read. That way the information that he read is still fresh in his mind and he knows that when he gets done with the next page he will be asked somemore questions. So he will on his own pay attention to what he is reading because he wants to get the questions right.... The confidence situation that is a tough one. That one I would say might have to do with the fact that he has been moved. Kids tend to be shy because they are not familiar with the new surroundings. That you should give him some time. Let him warm up, feel comfortable. But give him the incouragment that he can do anything and it is okay if sometimes he gets things wrong atleast he tried and that's all that matters.
Every child learns at a different pace. Most schools teach site reading which can really affect a child's comprehension. I would like to recommend the Hooked on Phonics program- it is awesome. If you start it from the beginning he'll speed through it but it will build his confidence and he'll start to remember the things he had forgoten. Yes boys are slower learners but part of that is because they have a different learning style than girls. Boys are very hands on for the most part and very visual. Reading to your child and talking about what you have read is a great way to build comprehension. I homeschool my kids, I didn't start that way with my oldest. But she was taught site reading and what a mess. She had no comprehension and when I started to homeschool we had to start all over. She is a awesome reader and loves to read now. Where my other child I used the hooked on phonics and wow he never had a comprehension problem and reading was very easy for him from the beginning. People tend to think there is a learning dissability because the child isn't responding. When in fact it can be the environment or the learning style that is affecting them to move forward. The sad part is most schools are not set up to meet a child's learning style. Hope this helps, C.
You can help him at home. When you read together ask him what he thinks is going on in the story. After a page or so. even while watching movies ask him about what happened a few min ago. Maybe He just doesn't understand why that he has to pay attention to what he reads. Or Maybe he needs some extra time reading, when he is more confidant in his ability then he will be able to focus on whats hapining in the story and not focusing so much on how to sound out the words. Because if he still has to sound them out then they really make no sence as a story, the're just words. After he has sounded all the words out in a sentence have him read it again. He will get more ot of reading that way.
Good Luck
Jas
Get him tested. Go to Greater Learning if you are in San Antonio, Texas, or call and see if there is someone local that April Smith can refer you to, and ask them to do an evaluation. This will give you a starting point. She is a speech therapist/learning professional, and she can help first identify how he is processing information received. If he is a pure visual learner, and the learning environment is auditorially based, as it starts to get to in 2nd grade, he is going to be hit hard, and will flounder terribly in 3rd grade. Greater learning will be able to then direct you as to other areas that may be affected. I trust her group over any other in town, and would have her evaluate your child before I would let the school districts get their hands on him. She has worked with both our children, one for a minor evaluation that relieved us of major concerns, but did note the learning environment out child was in was going to be insufficient when he got to 3rd grade (pure visual learner, in a non-pure visual learning environment with teachers who were not accommodating his learning strenghts). I wish we had listened, 3rd grade was hard, the teachers were inadequate. We moved our child-great results. This woman and her group know what they are talking about. Take their comments to heart. school districts evaluate to what their strenghts are, and if they have a class of 24 and your child needs a visual learning environment with a group no larger than 10, well, guess what their results will show? That he's fine when he really is struggling with valid issues? Talk with your son, listen to what he says, get him to Greater learning. You start running out of time to correct any weaknesses and end up having to teach compensating skills rather than best learning skills.
Ask your son what he wants to be involved in...football may not be it - if it is art, find an art program, if it is running, get going, find out what he watches on tv, reads at home, plays with. keep him moving, swinging is good for getting physical activity, after the activity, talk with him...the more boys move, the better the communication - moving releases endorphins and stress, relaxes them, and they are more likely to spill the beans without realizing it. Listen carefully, my son did not want to be a problem for us as we all had a lot going on. He wanted to protect me, and didn't say much about what was happening in school. When we moved him, Oh My Gosh, did we find out stuff that made my heart break. Don't wait that long.
They told me my son( who is now 12, soon to be 13) should be held back, in the kindergarten or 1st grade. I don't remember which. I didn't. I figured he would work through it and he did. Even though he did fail math last year, only because he was lazy. He went so summer school and got through it. He is in football this year and of course has more motivation to do good in all of his classes. He would have had less self confidence if we held him back and would have always been saying I should be with my friends in the grade above him. My husband was held back in the 1st grade, and because of that he felt that he was always not smart enough and had lower self esteem. He is a very smart man. I wouldn't worry about the testing. Boys just learn at a different level and they do have to be pushed more, because they get lazy real quick. Unless you're friends all have extremely gifted children I wouldn't worry about what they say.
I don't have any advice, because my boys are still too young for me to know about school issues, but I just wanted to say goodluck. and keep at it
the shyness my be related to the move... has he made many new firends?
The key to correcting the problem is parents getting involved. Have him read to you out loud and you read to him. Have your husband get involved, that is the most important thing. Purchase study material from the teacher's supply store. This may mean turning offf the TV, phone and video games. Make time for this on weekends also. This will teach him the importance of an education and build his confidence level, it has been torn down because he got put back.
On the communication issue, dad would really help out in this area once he get involved. It he can't, find another responsible male relative.
Hope this helps.
T.
Hi!
I may be able to offer some help. I was a reading specialist before I stayed at home with my two sons. There could be many reasons your son's comprehension is not on level. Anything from just being shy to a learning disablity. The only way to get to the root of the problem is to have the school diagnostician, (if it is reccomended by the teachers of course)to screen for any learning disabilities. Most schools should have a reading teacher, counselor, or some sort of committee to answer your questions. I used to tell the parents I worked with not to think about it as a learning disability, but more of a signal in which he requires a special way to learn. As soon as he learns to cope with it, he can move on to learning bigger and better things like chemistry and biology. Remember how much reading we have to do daily. It is better to get the help you need now then later down the road. You can only help him by testing him. If you feel the tests are an error, I would take him to Sylvan Learning Centers or Kumon learning centers to get him tested again.
If you decide to get him tested, let me know if you have any other questions or need help deciphering some of the test scores.
G.
We have moved a lot, and also dealt with shyness and trouble making friends. My advice is to just hang on and be patient. Your son will make a really good friend or two, soon, and that will help enormously to bring him out of his shell.
Also, have you tried martial arts? Team sports can sometimes be overwhelming for a shy kid, but martial arts is more individual, yet they still get the social practice. Plus, it builds confidence and self-esteem like no other sport, in my opinion.
Good luck and God bless,
M. B
Please do not be afraid to have your child tested for any difficulties. I know it what a worry it can be (especially if it is your first born). It can not hurt him and if anything comes up that he may need special help with, then you are doing him (and you) a world of good starting early. If nothing comes up, then you have your peace of mind restored and won't have the 'what if' in the back of your mind.
Just pray about your concerns and don't forget to listen for God's guidance no matter which direction it takes you.
My 3rd child is in need of special help and I am so glad that we were able to know early on.
~T~
Please spend time with him going over his home work and math skills. He just needs a lot of repetition for the math skills as they are building blocks and he will get really far behind if you don't do this. This time with him is crucial to make him feel successful for middle school. Can't play football if grades aren't good. Don't let this time period sabatoge his future. Also turn off TV and electronic games after school. Hire a tutor instead for after school before he gets too tired at night to review. JS
How is his fluency? Does he sound choppy when he's reading aloud to you at home? Does he read smoothly, but still is having trouble understanding what he's reading? Shyness does play a role, but really what you need to focus on his making sure he is comprehending his reading. In addition to the tutoring (which hopefully aren't hurting his confidence), work with him at home. When you watch tv together, ask him to tell you about what you just watched - can he tell you the main characters, plot, setting, main events, what actions caused certain events, what the tone of the show was (like was it designed to be funny, serious, sad, etc). Do the same after his nightly reading assignment. The best piece of advice I can give (I am a teacher), is to listen to him read daily and talk to him about what he read. Give him a little time, if he isn't caught up by summer, then look into testing. He's still young, and could just need more time.
