Child Spacing Advice - Salt Lake City,UT

My 3 are each just about 2 years apart, and I loved it because I just kept the baby things out and used them for all 3. At first it is a little overwhelming with them all being 4 and under, but now I love it. With my kids, you find one you find all 3. My oldest is a boy and will hopefully take good care of his younger sisters as they grow older. Good luck and have fun!!!

Hi Becca,

For what it's worth ... I have three and there is almost exactly 5 years between number 1 and number 3 ... love it! They are a little less than 2 1/2 years apart.

Best wishes,
L.

i have had children 19 months apart, loved it... 2.5 years apart, hated it... and 4.5 years apart, that was really nice too. 19 months apart was like having 2 babies, you feed one you give the other a snack or meal, you change one, you change the other or send to the potty if potty training, the routine was AWESOME. 2.5 years apart was TOOO much jealousy. Very hard. It didn't help that my third baby was colicky either, but my second son was really jealous and he was too old to distract as much as the 19 month old was and too young to really reason with. 4.5 years was perfect, I could leave snacks in the fridge and when I was taking care of the baby, he could get his own snacks and I didn't have to worry about it, he was quite independent at that age but still wanted to help me and be with his baby brother lots. He also started preschool that year so it gave me lots of time with just the baby. Perfect spacing. You kind of are working the opposite of me and I think you will find the same. It works no matter how you space them. The hardest was going from 2 to 3 kids just because you don't have a third hand but your oldest will really be helpful and become that third hand for you. Not that we ever want to put alot of responsibility on our oldest children it ends up working out that way, although you will find that the younger one will want to help out lots too. Best of luck on your growing family.

S., Mom of 4

I like the way my sister in law spaced her kids. She had 2 close together waited a few years and then had 2 more close together. It seems to be working out great for them. Their youngest is 6. With our second we had twins so we cannot really use this plan.

I have 3 boys. There is 1 1/2 year betweeb the firt two and 2 years between the 2nd two. I love it. They all get along so well. Hand-me-down are easy because you don't have to hang onto them and store them forever. Just move them from one bedroom to the next.

They will all be in high school together. I think that's awesome! Because of my 1st son's Oct. birthday, he will start school late so he and my second son will be 1 year apart in school.

they get along great. Teach each other, learn from each other... Everything about it works perfect for us!

My mom had 7 kids, and she said her best spacings were either at 3 years apart or 18 months apart. The kids who were 18 months apart were always very close to each other and very good friends growing up.

My advice is that yu wait a little longer. maybe not 3 years but at least 2. It is hard enough being a middle child, but it gets even more difficult when the youngest is that close in age. The middle child seems to be the one that loses the attention and tends to become "lost in the middle", when you are busy with the new baby. The oldest is old enough to help with the baby and has an involvement or 'ownership' in that baby, but the middle child is not old enough yet to help out. Give each child their 'space' so to speak, and spread them out a little more. It will also make for less competition as they get older as siblings that close have to 'fight' for attention and that continues as they get older.

I have seven kids, ranging from 16 months apart to 22 months apart. I love having them close together! (obviosly! lol) Sure there are some tough days, sometimes it feels like there is never a minute to breath, but you figure out what works for you and you move on with life! There are some great benefits to having them close together, despite the fact that some days it's hard. A lot of people will mention having more than one in diapers-it's actually not that bad. At one point I had three in diapers, and it wasn't the end of the world. Although we did go generic b/c we couldn't afford three in Pampers. : ) Sure there's more diaper changing, but when those diaper years overlap, it's less years of your life you'll spend changing them!
My kids are great friends, and they always have someone there for them. It's also nice that their development and interest have overlapped for so long-it makes planning family activities easier.
In fact, I'm kind of bummed that it's taking so long for us to conceive the next one...at this point they'll be at least 23 months apart, which is more than I would choose. Having them close is great!

I have 3 kids that are all 15 months apart, which means that my oldest was 2.5 when #3 was born. I love it and would never want it any other way. 3-4 years seems sooooo far apart!

Well I don't have 3, but I have two that are 16 months apart. The newest one just joined us 3 weeks ago!
I will say it is a lot of work when they are so close. Sleep is something I never get! I am up all night with the little one and then have to be up bright and early with the 16 month old. I wish I could take a nap during the day, but one kid is always up, so that is out :)
So all in all it is crazy busy and some days I am not sure I even remember to brush my teeth.... but it is also pretty great! I am already in the baby phase, so all the stuff is already here and out to use.
Our oldest is taking to the new one pretty well, but it is hard to balance it all and make sure both are getting enough attention. It is only hard because at 16 months she just doesn't understand the changes all the time.
I will say that although we did not plan to have them so close in age, we are both glad it happened the way it did. I am sure once we start to get more sleep at night it will seem even better! It is the hardest thing I have ever done and balanced, but also very rewarding. I am glad I didn't wait and space them out more.
Good luck~

Our three oldest girls are all 21 months apart and we love it! They are all very close and play together for hours. Of course they fight and have their moments, but 80* of they time they are best friends. Good luck!

All I can say is if you both feel like you are supposed to have the baby now.... do it. We didn't plan our 3rd baby that was only 16 mo. behind #2 but so many times over the years, I can see where it was perfect for him to come at that time. Now that we live where we will most likely stay, there are 5 boys his age and none that are a year younger. I'm SO relieved we had him when we did so that he has all these buddies he wouldn't otherwise be in school/ church with. Again, logically, waiting a few more months on my last baby would have caused all sorts of stress in our life this year. She was a bit older as our family has struggled through moving and sickness (spouse in the hospital this year) I am relieved we followed our gut and she was a bit older for me to handle the unforeseen we have had this year... Only you can know and if the Lord sends you a child, he will bless you with the ability to handle what comes your way. Best of luck.

Go for it. The spacing is not a big deal. The only people who ever talk about it are people who haven't had all their kids yet. Once you have all your kids, you'll look back and say, "I can't believe I spent time obsessing over this."

My first two children are 6 years apart and my second two are under 2 years apart. I cannot stress enough that I prefer the 6 year difference WAY more than the under 2 year difference. I had more time to nurture each child when they were very young where as I feel like I split my time a lot more and jealousy comes into play with the two that are closer together in age.

When I had the second child and my first as 6, it was so nice to have the help and conversation with my little guy. We had such tender moments taking care of little brother. When the youngest sister came shortly there after, the middle brother still required a lot of direction, help and diapers. They are now 1 1/2 and 3 and they pick on each other, get jealous and demand a lot.

The one fantastic thing about them being so close in age is that they are very protective of each other and are very close despite the differences that occur.

Bottom line, they are all fabulous and when it comes down to it, I couldn't care less what their ages are, I just love having them.

Good luck with number 3!

The spacing of your children is a very personal decision and if both you and your husband feel strongly, I would say go for it. Having kids less than 2 years apart may be challenging at first, but it can also be very rewarding. In my husband's family, his 2 oldest brothers are about 20 months apart, and as adults they are great friends still. Growing up they had similar interests, and got along pretty well. And they are both intelligent, well-educated men.

Chances are that you'll have 2 kids in diapers for a while. The oldest will just be moving out of the "terrible twos" when the younger one starts. Same for potty training (although the youngest may learn more easily from watching brother & sister). And many other developmental milestones will be back to back. Depending on timing, they could be only 1 year apart in school, too.

As far as the nurture etc, give each child some one-on-one time as well as playing in groups. Schedule yourself time with each, as well as some "you" time (you're going to need a bit of that to keep your sanity!)

Good luck and enjoy your little ones!

There is no right answer. So much depends on the kids. Mine are 17 months apart and I love it! I grew up with a sister 21 months younger than me - and we are still best friends (I'm almost 40!). Either way will work out. If your gut is telling you closer - go for it. The first year or so is a bit crazy - like two babies, but it gets so much easier by the time the second is 18 mos! Enjoy them all!

Hi Becca,
All of my kids are born in october, which is nice but can get expensive. My younger two children are less than a year apart, exactly 51 weeks. my 3rd will turn 2 this month and a week later my 2nd will turn three. The oldest will be 5 in just a few days. So, soon i will have a 5, 3, and 2 year old, and life, is always chaotic, but REWARDING. I couldn't and wouldn't change them or when i had them for anything.
As for dealing with how expensive things can get, it seems to work out. My husband I work hard but live modestly, and we decided that our children would each get one gift from us for their birthdays, not to exceed $30. we make christmas the big holiday. lights, tree, lots and lots of gifts etc. I start shopping in july and put the gifts away. I buy on sale. Also, at the end of each season, most stores have a clearance sale to get rid of what they couldn't sell, and i buy my kids clothes for the next season at a quarter of the price. Example, last season i bought three brand new winter coats for my kids for about 30 bucks, total. the original price would have been 75 dollars or so. I just guessed about how big they'd be in a year and bought big. good luck, i hope this helps.

For what it's worth, my four children (now grown up) arrived within a total of five and a half years. Three of them are two years apart (almost exactly); the third and the fourth are sixteen months apart. I found I had the most challenge adjusting from one to two children; after that, further transitions were easier. (Other moms have different experiences with this.) As it happened, my third was an easygoing baby who decided to begin walking only two weeks before her little brother was born. The remedy for that can be stated in two words: double stroller. Having a house full of children is hectic, of course, but the blessings far outweigh the challenges.

Becca-this is a very personal decision. Do what you feel is right. My 2 youngest are over 3 years apart and I so wish they were closer in age so my almost 4 year old had a good playmate during the day while his sisters are in school. We never had this problem before because the others are 2 years apart.

Becca i don't have any experience with 3 kids but i have a daughter who is 3 and my youngest is 2 they have 15 months between them, my oldest was 6 months when we found out we were having another. I would like to say that it was difficult but it really wasn't my oldest was just old enough to get that i had a baby in my tummy and would always kiss my belly and i also think that with them being so close they have someone to play with that is in to the same toys and things they are. As long as your ready for two close together you can do it. Good luck and if i can help with any thing else please let me know!

I have 2 19 months apart and it's worked out great. They are 2 and 3 1/2 now and get along great. Now having said that. My youngest, my daughter is still pretty clingy so if I had had another baby now, it would be very difficult. My son was 19 months when she was born, and was great when she was a baby, not jealous at all, but he is more independent. I want another, but already thinking that 3.5 years apart is a pretty big gap and the 3rd child will get left out of things as they are growing up.