Child Safety

Updated on June 19, 2008
J.G. asks from Brooklyn, NY
6 answers

I have a safety prob. I live with my dad, husband and 2 kids. My aunt owns our home. My dad said we need to buy the bars for the windows and my husband said hes not buying them, my aunt should. My dad said then why dont we move cause we shouldnt be here. Now, whos right????

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E.E.

answers from New York on

Don't be cheap when it comes to your child's safety. You are responsible for taking care of your child. Just buy the bars.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

If your aunt and/or your father are letting you live there for any type of reduced rent, then you and your husband need to pay for the bars.

Usually the owner of the property is responsible for the maintenance and repairs of a property. However, are bars on the window what is required in your area by local zoning laws, or is it just something you want that will protect your children? If required, does the lease state who is responsible? If it's a want, then you need to pay. Also, if it's a want, is it okay with your aunt to install them?

Who leases from who? Does your father rent from your aunt and he's letting you live with him? Do you have a rental agreement with your dad, if yes, what does it state? In addition, is your aunt charging you full market value?
Ethically, it sounds like you should pay for the bars. It's worth every penny to protect your children.

It sounds like you have a bigger situation here than who's going to pay for the bars. Why is your dad saying "you shouldn't be here?" I think you should have a heart to heart with dad.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.S.

answers from New York on

Buy the bars .. your dad is right. G-d forbid your son falls out of the window while all the adults are arguing over a couple of hundred dollars.

Yes, your landlord is supposed to provide window bars. But is your aunt the "landlord"? do you have a lease for a legal apartment? Or is she just a relative allowing you to live in home she owns? Remind your husband that if your situation isn't as a legal tenant, you have no legal right to make your Aunt buy the window guards for you. There are government agencies ( call your department of health or in NYC call 311) that provide the gates at lower cost or sometimes free.

Perhaps your Aunt would let you deduct part of the cost from your rent?

Maybe your Dad is feeling unheard and disrespected? He has only your child's safety at heart.

Get the window guards. As a paramedic I have seen too many small children fall to their deaths, or have life-long handicapping head injured and deformities from falling out of windows. Screens will not stop a fall. PLEASE.. finish the financial argument AFTER you buy the guards. Maybe this link is a place to start.

http://www.child-safety-gates.com/scstore/c-Guardian_Ange...

1 mom found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from New York on

Hi-

I believe your father has a point. Unfortunately, just like when you live in someone else's house, you live by their rules. Your husband should buy the bars. It is after all his child. You don't want your child hurt by some unfortunate accident. I dont' mean to sound harsh but you and your husband are responsible to take care of your child, not your dad. As a grandparent, perhaps he should help but again, unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way.

A little about me:

I love to shop and read as well as help others. I own my own business and I am a business coach providing free mentoring to individuals with stay at home businesses, teaching the skills needed for success.

I am newly married (Sept. '07) but we've been together for 5 years. I have 3 children, 1 is special needs. He's the best little boy! Christopher is 7. My other 2 are 13 (girl) and 20 (boy)

1 mom found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from New York on

I think you guys need to buy the bars......just my opinion
PS we just used metal baby gates that were mounted to the side of the window with ancors. Nice and secure.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.K.

answers from New York on

Well this is a family matter,

and the way I look at it , your aunt is probably doing you a favor by letting you stay there for low rent.

your father thinks your husband should be doing more, and make his grand child more of a priority.
that he should take pride in this home, ect..

Your husband thinks this is not his house so why should i have to pay. its not his family , YOUR his family.

If you think that you are honestly paying a decent rental price for this house, the Going rate plus the heat and electricity ect. then your husband is right.

Your living with your dad, so he see's all your hubby's flaws.

If your husband pays for these bars, he will never get the money back, the house will be given to your cousin,
NOT you. If he does do this it would simply be for your daughters benefit.

Your husband is right in putting you and your daughter first.

and your father is right aswell, you should move out, because it will eliminate all of the added stress,

if the problem is that your dad, needs to move with you.
bring him along, perhaps then he will respect your husband a little more. Because as it is your father expects far too much from your husband.
and believes his sister is doing him a favor by allowing him to live there.
he may not realize how much your husband actually does do.
and on the other hand your dad probably knows his sister doesn't have the money for these bars.

Moving should help everyone .

Because if this were not your aunts home, you would not have any issue with expectations that the landlord pay for these home issues.

Hope I helped out a bit,

M

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