My situation is the same, but reversed. My husband lost his job 3 years ago, just before DD was born. He was able to collect for a quite a while but that's now run out. Problem is, he still has to pay child support for his 2 kids from his first marriage. My job earns enough that I can pay the bills, plus give him money every month, from which he pays his child support and has some spending money. His staying home means DD has not had to be in day care. Problem is, he tends to slap everything on his credit card, and when the statement comes in, it's like, how did it get to be that high? Well, he needed some things from Home Depot, had to put gas in the car, bought Christmas gifts, got himself some beer, picked up things for dinner from the store, etc. OK, fine. But it totally goes over his budget. I've told him before about not just putting every little thing on the credit card, it makes it way too easy to overspend, but he doesn't seem to get it. My latest solution is to take his credit card statement and break it down into essential and non-essential items. Anything essential, like gas for the car, gets covered by me. Anything non-essential, like beer, will need to be covered by him with the money that is part of his monthly allowance. If he is still carrying a balance, well, at least we know who and what to blame. It's not perfect, I am not always happy, I am trying to remain flexible and open-minded, looking for better solutions, recognizing it (and marriage in general) is a work in progress.
But I digress...
Work out a budget with your husband that includes spending money/allowance for you - separate from groceries, gas, etc. Think of it as money you are being paid to stay home and keep house, take care of the kids, etc. Otherwise you would be paying a day care and a housecleaning service for the things you are doing. It is therefore your money to do as you please - you have earned it. From that, you can set some aside to save up to get him gifts for birthday, Christmas, etc.. Yes, technically it is his money, but it goes first to you, and it's money that you have chosen not to spend on yourself (for like, shoes and coffee, for instance). Get him something that maybe he would enjoy and appreciate but normally would not spend the money on for himself.
The other option would be to look into a work-from-home opportunity that could allow you to earn your own money apart from what he gives you and still decide to do with it what you will. Or perhaps something part-time with hours that you could work while he is home with your child without him being the full-time stay-at-home parent.