We have a 14 year old neutered male cat who lost his long time companion about a year ago. We've been thinking for about six months about getting a new cat so he'd have company, and two weeks ago we did it. We found a lovely 1 year old spayed female cat at the animal shelter and brought her home. I knew all the rules about keeping the cats apart and we did, for three days. Then DH and my kids decided it was time for the two cats to meet. They opened the door to the guest room and for the next four days we didn't intervene much. The new cat was nervous, but friendly. She walked all over the house until she found the old cat. He looked more curious than anything. They stayed pretty far away from each other for a day or two. Then the new cat apparently decided she wanted to be friends. So she started jumping on the bed when he was on the bed, or following him around (every once in a while). Our older cat did not take it well. He started out by hissing at her, then yeowling, and then running away. She appeared perplexed for a day or two and then started hissing back. It culminated by them fighting twice - no injuries, but a lot of fur flying until the older cat escaped. And then he spent the next three days hiding in a closet or behind our master bath toilet. He stopped coming out to eat or use the litter box (used our bathtub instead - lovely, huh?).
I put the new cat back in the guest room last weekend and she's been there ever since. My old cat has slowly gotten back to normal and is acting fine again. But he does avoid the part of the house near the guest room. I would like to reintroduce the new cat to the rest of the house to see if they can live together. But how? I know that we need to take it slowly, so today I walked the older cat over to the guest room door and he started hissing. I guess he can smell the new cat through the door and isn't happy again. So what to do? I don't want to let her out only to have them start fighting again. Has anyone been through this with an older cat who seems absolutely traumatized by a new cat? Is there any hope?
EDITED TO ADD: Yes, of course we have two litter boxes, and two food and water bowls. And no, I'm not locking up the new cat in the guest room with no human interaction. I work from home and spend several hours in there a day working on the computer with her on my lap. And at bedtime, she goes into my girls room for an hour or so to cuddle with them (old cat is on the other side of the house). Plus, we pop in and give her love at other times of the day.
I would still love to hear from people who have had an older cat who did not react well to the introduction of a new cat. I know what the ASPCA and the vet say - take it slowly, rub towels on them, keep the separate, etc. and we're doing all that. I'm just looking for real life stories of people who have made this happen. Thanks.
Thanks everyone. We'll give it more time and will try to help the two cats establish a relationship. Unfortunately, we don't have a year as my older cat is so terrified that he's living behind the toilet if the other cat comes near. It's no way for him to live so we shall see. I don't want to have to rehome the new kitty, but ultimately, she's more adoptable and we have a duty to our old guy to make sure he's safe and emotionally healthy. I think I'm going to try the kennel trick next to see if that might help. Thanks again.
These things take time. A LOT of time. Give it at least 1 year or better. They may learn to tolerate each other well enough.
I have a dog and an old cat. Dog loves cat. Cat hates dog.
There is hope. I have owned cats for over 20 years now. Cats are very territorial. The male usually shows his domination by hissing letting the other cat know that is his house and I am RULER. :-) LOL Let the new kitty out of the room. It will take some time. Could be up to a year before they will become friends, or just 'tolerate' each other. But they will be fine. We had two cats, one male one female, and they are 8 years old. We inherited another female cat from my neice who didn't want her anymore. When she came here for the first time, I never locked her in a room. (even though that is what they tell you to do for the cats to get to know each others scent). She roamed free as my other two cats did and my female (Ginger) that I had since the beginning was so scared of the new one (Franklyn). Oreo, my male cat, showed his dominance by just plopping anywhere Franklyn was and hissing. Franklyn is not afraid of Oreo and hisses back, but she does respect his dominance and goes about her own way. Oreo and Franklyn become semi friends and tolerates each other while Franklyn tries to show dominance over Ginger. Ginger constantly ran from her and ran to me. I always put my body in front of Ginger telling Franklyn with my body language to leave her alone. Of course cats have their own minds and will do as they please. LOL That's just part of their nature. It took about a year before Ginger and Franklyn tolerated each other. Now it has been 2 1/2 years and Ginger is not afraid of Franklyn anymore. She'll actually chase her around the house and vice versa. LOL They're not friends, but they will kind of play together and they can be around each other without conflict.
It will take some time and yes there is hope. :-D When you feed your cats, have the new cats bowl on the other side of the kitchen away from the other. That's what I have to do with Franklyn. Get a new litter box that is a covered one, and you will have to clean it twice a day. Use the Arm and Hammar Litter Deoderizer in it to help alleviate the multi cat smell and they will use the same box. Mine do. It just takes some time. When you pet them, pet both of them at the same time. This will allow them both to realize you love them both and don't favor one over the other. They will understand that. I promise. :-) These steps I have mentioned will take time for the cats to get use to. If they don't end up friends, they will end up tolerating each other to where it will be a peaceful environment for them both. :-D Hope this helps.
I would call the vet. I think your older cat is too old to accept a new cat honestly, he is getting to the senial grumpy old man phase of his life and a 1yr old cat and he have NOTHING in common.
We have had similar issues. It does take weeks... and sometimes months. We have a 6-year-old cat and two 6-month-old kittens and they finally learned to get along, but still have some fights now and then. We redirect them and it stops.
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I would put a litter box in the bathroom if that is his hiding spot because you don't want him to get used to the bathtub and then let them try to get to know each other again.
I would give it some time.
Our cat was fine when we brought him home and we already had a cat. When she passed away he decided he was fine being an only cat. We brought a kitten home and he beat her up so we had to find her a new home. He will be an only cat for a long time.
I have an older male too. Last June I brought home a little female kitten. It took a few months before he'd tolerate her presence, and a few more before he'd tolerate her being near him. Now they will sleep near one another, but on occasion they'll get into little fights.
Just let them get used to one another. It might take months, but they will. Also, put the litter boxes apart so he can feel like one is HIS.
Sometimes, it just never works out. My sister adopted a second cat when her other cat was pretty old. She immediately bullied the new cat into basically living in my sister's bedroom. She would never come out of there. They had to put a litter box and food dishes in their master bathroom. Even after the older cat passed away, it took her a long time to finally emerge from that bedroom. You may have to re-home the new cat, and try again when your older one passes on. Best wishes!
Sort of related...I have a friend who adopted a mother and daughter cat pair and all was well for over a year. Then one day she took the younger cat to the vet for a routine appointment (the older one couldn't be corralled although the appointment was for both) and that went fine. A week later she took the older cat and used the same carrier that she had used the week before. When they returned home, the younger cat saw the older cat in the carrier and decided that carrier = vet trauma = mother so she became very aggressive towards the mother. My friend thought that they would just get over it and went to do an errand and came back to find her house destroyed and both cats injured. That was 6 months ago.
Since that time, the cats are both on prozac (no joke) and have to be separated. Luckily they have an interior french door that effectively separates the house into two areas and each lives in a separate area. When she feeds them, she sets their bowls on either side of the door and first started with them several feet away from the door. If they eat without incident, then she moves each bowl a little closer to the door the next day. The goal is to get them so that they can eat next to each other through the door and then they can re-introduce them. Very recently, they reached a milestone where they can be in the same room with another person for a brief period of time. The next goal is to extend the length of time they can be in a room together with a person, then add in leaving them briefly unattended and increase that.
It's a long process for sure and she admitted that if they hadn't adopted them together and if she wasn't attached to one as much as her kids are attached to the other that she would have just separated them because it's exhausting. She has to take a 10mg prozac, dissolve it in water and give out 1/10 of the dose to each cat each day. Also when they've moved to quickly and upset one cat or the other, they had to start from zero again. Not to mention the expense of seeing a pet psychologist who recommended this approach.
I hope some of this helps you - you may want to see if your vet can recommend a pet psychologist who can give you some advice specific to your situation.
I would give it a LOT of time. As others mentioned, you need another litterbox. What I've heard is atleast one per cat and one per floor if you live on a multiple level home. You may need to start over but make sure the new cat has a lot of time out of it's main room as well as the established cat. Then when the are together you will need to be attentive and refferee, you may need a squirt bottle to help when they start hissing, growling or showing aggression towards each other. It can take a long time, we have a cat, and watched my step sons cat for over a year. Just before she left her extended stay with us the cats started getting along and playing.
Another ttrick I've hear of are taking a towel or small blanket and rubbing it on one cat and then the other so they get used to each others smell.
Google "Introducing a new cat" You'll see links from the Humane Society, ASPCA, etc. Read all those and decide what actions will help your situation. Their lives will be very structured for awhile, but think of the small rooms cages they stay in at the shelter, sometimes for a really long time! :-(. Better a little limitation now for a smoother family life in the future.
Last, I agree with the idea of consulting your vet. Check both cats over to make sure they don't have injuries from their scuffle, cat scratches/bites can get infected so easily. Your Vet may also have some good strategies for your new situation.
I've been in this very situation, twice. We've always had two cats, and this has always happened when we introduced a new cat when the other cat's companion had died. It's very distressing thinking you've attempted to do something nice for the older animal and then fear you've ruined the rest of their life, but not so. It will take time, but they will learn to co-exist. I would intervene as little as possible and just let them find their way. I have two cats now that after about 4 months are "play-fighting" instead of truly trying to hurt one another. Try to be patient and give them as much love as you can.
