Boyfriend Tells Me Im Too B*t*chy.....

Just come home purpose to give him a hug and a smile. Then tell him thank you and how was your day. Try (hard as it might be) to overlook anything that doesn't seem right to you and then take a quiet time for about 2 mins and get going on your routine...

Think before you speak. Don't talk down to him, he isnt your subordinate he is your partner.

Communication always helps. From time to time I make it clear to my husband I'm not mad at him - I'm just mad. Then he doesn't feel like he's the target (or the cause).
Men want to solve problems. If they can't solve it - they are not so good at listening just to provide sympathy. It's a major difference between men and women and knowing it up front helps a lot.
We both know we are short on temper when we are dieting. My husband did a WONDERFUL job losing 150 lbs, but while he was doing it - he was way beyond grouchy. Every so often he'd drive me nuts just grumping over everything and I'd have to tell him "I love you, but you need to have a chocolate kiss and chill out for a few minutes because you are driving me insane.". We got through it. He's maintaining his new slim self, and his sweet nature has returned.
If you need to vent - use telemarketers and door to door sales people. Yelling at strangers is a lot better than yelling at the people we love.

Hey, no one is perfect and everyone has their days. My hubby and I have our days when we are not all Brady Bunch to each other either. Personally, I think a simple sit down where my hubby explains what he is bothered abut without using terms like "bitchy" will get him a lot further, but I understand sometimes things get heated---we are no Brady Bunch here and worse insults have been slung at our house. I suggest you sit down and have a talk with him. Ask him to explain exactly what you are doing without just saying bitchy--that is not going to help anything. Specific examples like--"you always pick on my clothes or yell at me when I make a mess" might be more helpful and get you to the root of the problem.

Once you talk things out, get him to agree to a two week trial period where you actually try and make some conscious changes in your attitude and treatment of him. During this time he does not need to critique or complain about how you're doing. And this doesn't mean you are his slave either--just try and see things in a new light, re-prioritize. Plan a date night for the end of the two weeks where you can regroup and see how things went and you can take his constructive feedback.

I think many times people treat those they care about most the worst. That sucks--remember at the end of your life your tombstone is not gonna read "Great Employee, Best Acquaintance" More likely its gonna say "Loving girlfriend and mom" Because at the end of the day those are the people that matter most and those are the people you should be putting first. Don't worry--sounds like you just need some reflection and you can get back on track! By the way, this also works great when hubby is treating you less than you deserve =)

When my hubby and I get stressed we start bitching at each other. dont know why. I've even felt stress levels rising as I'm driving from work to home,as if home is more stressful than work. Make an effort to have a calm transition time alone when you first get home, or on your way home deep breathes, good thoughts, favorite music on the car ride, something to get yourself in a good mood, then ALWAYS greet him with a big kiss and hug. Find something to compliment about him and he will respond by being even nicer to you which will put you in an even better mood. You dont give specifics but a typical problem with men and women is we want them to do something, help with something and we get frustrated that they dont. We Have to TELL them what we want they are not intuitive. I also read the John Grey books about how men and woman communicate and it really helped me to understand men, Woman want to be listened to and men want more than anything to be respected, they Want to take care of us and be appreciated for what they do, but we usually need them to do more and are too busy to appreciate what they are doing. you might find it helpful to read. It is difficult to be a working Mom we try to do everything SAHM's do And we work outside the home for 8 hrs but most of us have no choice. You've already identified the problem and you seem quite certain you want the relationship with him to work so I'm sure you can turn things around and make him feel loved appreciated!

Hi Mama~ it sure sounds like you're super woman and sometimes super woman tends to let out steam onto the person she loves the most, her partner. I don't know why that happens, really, but it does. I was there too. My husband would tell me, but I wasn't too sure if it was me getting my "monthly visitor" or if I was just tired. I think it might be both, but also that I wanted him to take on more of the responsibilities. I've asked my husband to take on more because I felt overwhelmed.

But to show him that you do care and really do appreciate him..is ..I'd talk to him first and apologize. You don't mean to be that way towards him, and maybe it's because you are tired and if he could help you out a little more. Do tell him you love and appreciate him. Those words can go a long way. Then...you do the DO. You TOLD him ..now you have to DO...so show him that you do love and appreciate...by greeting him with a hug/kiss when he gets home..ask how his day went..etc..etc...you get it, right? I think communication is one MAIN INGREDIENT in a happy relationship. Good luck Mama!

I seem to have the same problem but my hubby comes across as "grumpy" too (why are we b*t*chy and they are grumpy?). I don't think he thinks about I come home and do dinner, clean up, get stuff ready for the next day, straighten, clean, do laundry (not ALL of this every night but you know what I am saying). Where he comes in after me or sometimes before and sits down, eats, and sits down. That is very annoying too.

I would say that if your man is like mine, you may need to point those things out and see if he can make and effort. The more you feel you are not being "dumped" on, the more you can try to be less "b*t*chy.

Talk to him and let him know that you feel stressed with working and then coming home to more work and that you could use some help from him and that you are sorry. Thank him for bringing it to your attention. My husband says I complain too but I also hear him complain about people or about things I do just as much. For some reason they always say the women b@#$* though. Good luck.

Think about how you would treat a special guest in your home. (You'd be warm, friendly, talkative, helpful, etc.) Then consciously make an effort to treat him that way.

Keep looking at yourself to try to determine what's going on? Look at the bigger picture. Are there any underlying issues that are causing you to fee and act a certain way? Are you anxious or depressed? What do you do to relax? I think you need to find a healthy outlet to wind down and also date nights with your SO to reconnect. Go out of your way to show your appreciation for the things he does. One step at a time. & yes I have my moments to.

My husband gets home two hours before I do. He is a Type A personality and as soon as I walk in the door he wants to talk, tell me about his day and whatever else pops into his head, and spend time together right away because he's been home for two hours already. I, on the other hand, am famously Type B and the last thing I want, on walking in the door, is to be bombarded by someone else who needs my full attention RIGHT NOW. I found myself getting in a bad mood on the way home because I knew I would have this waiting for me. So I would walk in the door in a bad mood and take it out on him. Finally we talked about it and I told him what would really help me is to have some time to myself when I get home. So now when I come home, we say hi and stuff, and then I usually go into the office and chill out for a bit. I play on the computer, watch tv, have a glass of wine, whatever...but I'm by myself. This really helps me relax. The chores can wait for a few. If I know I have a lot of stuff to get done, I may only take 25-30 minutes for myself, but if there's not that much waiting for me, I may take an hour. But I DO take SOME time every day...well, almost. Sometimes there's something else that demands my time, but if this happens only every once in a while, I can handle that. But this little bit of time to myself puts me in a better mood, and we get along better as a result. I too can be kind of a B without really intending to, if I'm not careful.

It's hard to be pleasant all the time, especially when you have a baby, work full-time and are in a long term relationship. I think the first step to treating your partner well is just being aware that when you are tired at the end of the day, you have a tendency of maybe being a little terse or not giving credit where credit is due if that happens to be an issue. Remember that a compliment goes a lot further and is more motivating than a complaint. If your partner is busy doing something nice for the family like washing dishes or making dinner, go over there and give his shoulders a little rub to show him that you are thinking about him. Think about how you would like him to treat you and do those very things. You don't have to do a big transformation; simply being positive and supportive instead of complaining can have a big impact on a relationship.

Hope this helps.

I get that way with my hubby and it's usually when I start feeling overwhelmed and needing help.

I suggest you and the boyfriend sit down and talk about chores. I took a list of everything I could think of that I do and a time table as to when they need to be done, for example, washing the curtains is a once a year thing compared to dishes being daily.

The list was pages and pages long with everything from cleaning the carpets to scrubbing walls with crayon to changing the sheets and washing, drying, and remaking the bed. He was shocked at all the stuff I listed.

I think that everyone in the household need to participate in making the home a happy, healthy environment to live in. Whether they have a full time job outside the home or not.

Guys tend to do yard work and out door stuff and we girls end up stuck in the house cooking and doing dishes. It's not fair and resentment builds up and boils over when it gets to be too much. He has to take responsibility for some chores to help you out.

My hubby does the dishes and takes out the trash. if he doesn't do it the way I want then I have to back off, it's his job, not mine. I have to let him learn how to manage it and let him make mistakes. If the dishes don't get done then we just work around it. That is the only way it works. He eventually learned to do the dishes as needed.

If you constantly bug him about the chores he is responsible for then it only makes the stress worse. If you get fed up with how he does them and take over doing it for him you have defeated your purpose. Let him pick 3 big chores like picking up the stuff in the kids rooms, vacuuming the whole house once a week, cleaning the kitchen after dinner, cleaning the bathrooms, something that is time consuming and hard for you to do. It is only fair that he help out even if you are not working outside of the home at some time in the future.

Don't get yourself down. This happens to busy couples. Some of us deal with stress differently. Doesn't mean you're a bad person. You may handle stress the same way you saw your parent(s) handle it, or how they handled it on you. And same for him. etc.

So, it's just really nice that you are recognizing this and wanting to do something about it. Kudos!

1. apologize. (sincerely) and be sorry. (sincerely)
2. appreciate him OPENLY
3. same rules as your son, praise him when he is doing something wonderful; like "honey, it makes me feel really good when you help me with the housework, thank you" or "just wanted to say thank you for being a good provider for us" etc (they need to hear those things)
4. it sounds like you both need a break. get a babysitter! PLAN a date with him 2x a month and try to allow him a guys night at least 1x a month and YOU a ladies night 1x a month (even if it's just going to the mall by yourself, reading a book at the coffee shop or having dinner with a friend).