Bottle Feeding

Updated on August 25, 2006
K. asks from Fairfield, CT
24 answers

My 11 week old daughter started full-time daycare 2 days ago. Prior to that she was exclusively breast fed (with a FEW exceptions of taking a bit of breast milk from a bottle from my husband as we tried numerous times, weeks in advance, to get her used to the bottle feeding.) She is a good eater when on the breast, but seems to be having a real hard time getting used to being fed my expressed breast milk at daycare from a bottle and drinks less than 9 oz over the course of the entire 8 hour day. I am very worried that she will not get the hang of it and will end up hungry all the time until I get home from work and can feed her. Has anyone else experienced this? Does it get better? Does it get worse? Has anyone ever had a worse case scenario happen where baby never accepts the bottle?

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So What Happened?

9/25/06
We have taken her out of the larger, full-time daycare center and moved her to a wonderful home daycare situation where she seems to be thriving already at only her second week there. She has learned how to sit in a highchair, loves the exersaucer, and is totally thrilled when the older children talk to her and show her how to do things. She is eating there too -- the Playtex are still the best bottles for her needs. She is in part-time and my husband has taken on a vast majority of her weekday care. . . they have bonded so well together I could not ask for anything more.
9/9/06
We are thinking that that the current daycare situation is just not for her personality, and that this is probably contributing to her difficulty eating during the day. She seems to have no problem with the bottle now when my husband gives it to her, but she continues to shut down while at that daycare. We are going to try to find a home daycare setting where she may be more relaxed and engaged by her caregiver and the other children, instead of a mainstream daycare center where the ratio for infants is 4 to 1. In that setting, by no real fault of their own, the staff seems to never really have any time to pay total attention to each child and give them the stimulation and feedback they need to learn and develop. Plus the turnover is high and I think that my daughter balks at different people feeding her every day, and I want consistency for her. Wish us luck in finding the right place!
9/2/06
Well, we are still working on it, but the bottle situation seems to be headed in the right direction. We went through 6 different bottle-nipple configurations and we think we are on the right path. I feel a lot better after reading through the responses and perhaps the amount she is drinking is not so small after all. Plus, she still nurses voraciously (and often) when she is home and we are together (even through the night.) We are currently having a lot of success with the Adiri Breast Bottle (the one that looks like a boob,) and the Playtex Drop In with the Natural Latch Size 2 nipple (softer than most other nipples I have purchased. We'll keep at it, it will get better. Thank you all again for your advice on bottle and nipple types and for letting me know that it will get better.

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K.

answers from Philadelphia on

Try different bottles with different shaped nipples. Hopefully she will find one she likes and will eat well at daycare. Good luck!

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E.

answers from Philadelphia on

my first son struggled with a bottle when i went to work and so my husband would bring him to my work most nights for dinner (i worked 3-12). pretty crazy...have you tried different nipples? i found a huge difference when we got the nipples with a faster flow rate- i made a lot of milk and so he was used to getting a lot at one time and the newborn niplles were just too slow. going to the ones with 2 holes made it easier for him. i found this made more of a difference than anything else (we tried it all). this was one thing i hadnt read in any books- someone suggested it to me.
good luck
E.- with my next 2 i gave them a bottle within a week so we didnt have to deal with this again...

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M.

answers from Providence on

Hi K.!

Have you tried a different kind of bottle or nipple? I had to experiment a bit with that for my daughter, who is still breastfed at home at 8 months old, but bottle fed at full time day care.

Good Luck!
M.

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L.H.

answers from Washington DC on

This is normal and fine. She will get used to it. It took my son a while to get used to it but he is fine now. Also - 9 ounces during that time isn't that bad. She is fine. Just remember that her stomach is only as big as her fist and you will see that 9 ounces or breastmilk is not bad at all. My son is 4 months old and he only takes 10-12 ounces while he is at the daycare during the day. She is healthy. She will learn. Just give her some time. :-)

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L.

answers from Washington DC on

K.,
My daughter-in-law had the same problem with both my grand-daughters. They are now a very healthy 21 month old and a very healthy 5 month old. Both babies started day care at 9 weeks after being exclusively breast fed. The first baby had taken a couple bottles from her father but both babies absolutely refused bottles (of breast milk) at day care. We all worried and fretted with both. Let me tell you one at a time.

The first baby never took a bottle at day care AT ALL. She would go the whole day with maybe an ounce that the very patient day care lady would force into her with a medicine dropper. We all worried so much, but she was healthy and gaining weight and to make a long story short, she just thrived and we can't figure it out. She did nurse beautifully....just wouldn't take a bottle. My son and daughter-in-law bought every nipple and nursing system available....nope....she just wouldn't take the bottle. At about 6 months, she started using a cup and is now a VERY healthy and beautiful toddler at 21 months old. She now eats everything. Last night we had Chinese food and she especially likes the spicy dishes!!

The second child, now 5 months old followed the pattern of her sister, not accepting a bottle up until about 3 weeks ago and suddenly, she will now take a bottle (again, pumped breast milk) She also did not appear to suffer at all by what we consider being starved all day long.

I know it sound like we were cruel and negligent and all those bad things, but, honestly neither baby had any ill effects. We kept talking to the doctor about it and he kept reassuring us that the babies were healthy, growing, gaining weight and right on target. He insisted that all was well and that if the babies didn't want the bottle, it was okay. It didn't feel right and we all worried sick, but, everything has turned out okay.

I definately know what you are going through and how worried you are and how guilty you feel, but....don't. Just keep in really close contact with your doctor and make sure your baby is getting enough nutrition when you do nurse her. It is sooooo hard, I know!! My poor daughter-in-law went through agony with the first one. The second was easier because having been through it before, she knew it would be okay.....but she still felt so guilty when she would pick up the poor hungry little one.

If yours is taking 9 ounces a day, that is 8 ounces more than our two little ones took on any given day. I know this sounds unbelievable, but that is the way it was. At no time were either of our little babies ever other than fat and happy. They both had (still have) little "Thunder thighs" and the doctor has always said they were doing well.
Your little one has only tried for 2 days....just be patient, talk to your doctor and try not to worry.

I hope it helps knowing that others have gone through this for months and months and all turned out well.
Good luck!
L.

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C.W.

answers from Providence on

My daughter was slightly older when she did the same thing with my inlaws, they watched her 2 X a week while I worked. She ate fine for those who watched her the other 3 days each week. After "researching" all the different child care practices among the 3 settings I came up with the conclusion that she didn't like the setting at my inlaws. I believe my daughter didn't like the smell of candles burning, the dim setting on the lights, and the prickily feeling of my mother in laws beautiful wool sweaters (They were just not what home was like). I had "fun" explaining these ideas to my mother in law. But she was very understanding & blew out the candles, turned up the lights, and put on a cotton sweater on Tuesdays & Thursdays.
I said all of that to suggest that possibly there is something in the setting that your daughter does not like & that is effecting her desire to eat. Could be perfume, noise etc.. Could be the milk is not just the right temp too. Talk with your day care provider. If they are a good day care they will work with you to solve the problem.
In the mean time just make sure she gets enough when you are together. You may find she eats more at night because she is going without during the day. Not so good for your sleeping pattern but... She will get what her body needs.
Hope all works out
P.S. If you think it is the bottle you could try a different size shape or texture nipple(there are 100's to choose from)

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M.D.

answers from Harrisburg on

Hi K.,

My 4 month old boy started full time daycare when he was 12 weeks old and he would not take a bottle from me at all at first. I tried differnet bottles and the ones he took better then the others where the Playtex bottles w/ the liners. He does not like the silicone nipples only the brown ones. The playtex ones are bigger and he took those ok after many tries. You have to be patient and try different bottles. She will have to get used to it. My son was a good eater and the breastfeeding was wonderful, and now he is a good eater from the bottle. Good luck and I hope your daughter gets the hang of it!

I am a 36 yeart old mother of two boys (2 year old and an almost 5 month old - time flies)

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J.R.

answers from New York on

Hi, I'm still breastfeeding my daughter at 11 months (and working full time). Maybe try and switch the bottle/nipple? Maybe she does not like the ones you are using. I had a lot of luck with the Avent bottles. My daughter never has taken bottles as well as the breast, but they will eat eventually if they are hungry enough.
If it helps, she still only eats 4-5 ozs out of a bottle during the day, she eats meals now, but even in the beginning...she'd eat maybe 3 bottles a day. Maybe 10-11 oz.
Hope this helps! Good luck!

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A.J.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I feel your pain and worries--my daughter gave me the same problem and I tried every bottle on the market until I found one online that she ended up using--check it out at www.adiri.com it's shaped just like a breast and is very soft. they're expensive but so worth it to know that your child is being fed! I found them on ebay (new of course) at a decent discount. Good luck!!

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H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi K.

I don't have personal experience as both of my breastfed babies were pretty flexible with eating - they just wanted fed! At least in the first 6 months before they took anything else. After that they became more fussy in terms of taking breastmilk in a bottle or cup. But at that point they were eating babyfoods, drinking water in a sippy and eating fingerfoods, so there were other options and it wasn't a big deal for them to wait for me.

I do know a good friend and my cousin's little girl that both had feeding issues and never really accepted a bottle. Both were stay at home moms so while it was annoying to not be able to leave the baby for any length of time, it was workable. My friend's little one switched directly to a sippy with formula around 10 month when the mom realized she didn't have any more milk. At first she preferred water I think, but eventually increased her formula and now soy milk intake. My cousin's little one did have some physical issues that may have impacted her bottle refusal. She suffered a stroke at birth (not detected until months later when skills developed at uneven rates) and it affected her swallowing reflex. Maybe she just couldn't figure out how to use the bottle. Plus she wasn't really offered a bottle until much older - maybe over 6 months. Her father is in the AF and was overseas and she did not live close to family so the mom pretty much had her 24/7 with no one else so there wasn't much of a need to give her a bottle and just didn't. When it was offered, she refused. She went on to continue having feeding issues with solid foods too and refused many of those for a long while as well. She was underweight between maybe 24 months and doctors had mom stop nursing completely (basically all she wanted to eat) and put her on a mixure of half & half and pediasure to increase her calories and nutrition. She did end up catching up. She's getting close to 4 now and is around 25% now. Funny thing is she did take the pediasure mixture in a bottle and later had to be weaned from it!

I think trying out a variety of different bottles is your best bet - and different nipple sizes/flows. Does she take a pacifier? Maybe try the same brand of bottle - perhaps the nipples would be similar and feel familiar to her.

Good Luck

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R.G.

answers from York on

It's OK! Realy it IS! My stuborn daughter REFUSED to take a bottle at daycare for WEEKS! I was so scared you would starve that I would run over to her daycare at lunch and nurse her! She wouldn't cry at all at daycare unless they TRIED to feed her with a bottle.

It took a few weeks for me to get her to take a bottle, but here's what I did.

1) I started to force her to nurse at daycare with a nipple shield on my nipple (to get her used to the plastic feel)

2) I tried a ton of different bottles. The ONLY one she would take in the end was a PLAYTEX DROP IN LINER BOTTLE. (I had bought a TON of advent bottles because of the ads saying they were most like the breast - WRONG, they were useless to us).

3) Once I found a bottle she would take I switched her pacifiers to that brand (so she had the same type/taste of plastic in her pacifier).

4) Be AWARE & make the daycare aware that a breast fed baby many times DOES NOT LIKE VERY WARM MILK! Some BF babies won't take milk warmed to the same temp that bottle fed babies will. The milk should be luke warm - about the same temp as your body. (When you pump breast milk its warm, not hot).

DON'T WORRY - she WILL take a bottle - you just have to find the RIGHT one, and make the switch as similar to the breast as you can.

PS: Forcing my daughter to nurse with breast shields on my breast was a HUGE step in our process. I think it's because she knew my scent & tried HARD to figure out how to get food in the new way from my breast. YES - she DID CRY & sge got MAD, but with patience & persistance (on my part) she learned how to do it & eventually took a bottle with no trouble at all.

R.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

It seems cruel but if she's hungry she will eat. Right now she knows if she holds out long enough she's got you when she gets home. Don't worry she won't starve herself. you may want to try the bottles I have seen at places like the ones that have on onestepahead.com called the Breastbottle nurser if you are really that concerned. They may have it a babiesrus too I don't know. But like I said she won't starve herself!!

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K.L.

answers from New York on

Hello,
I am a f/t working mother of two. My latest child who is currently 2... NEVER took a bottle. I breastfed him until he was 16 months. Fortunately, for me , that is when he entered daycare. It might sound hard, but he might never take a bottle. Some children cannot adjust from the width and comfort of your nipple to the bottle. So, try some alterior methods. My husband used a cup! So my son went from the breast to a cup. Look at it this way, they won't get the dreaded bottle teeth and won't have to worry about forgetting his/her bottles for feeding. I have talked to other moms who swear by the Avent bottles. However, no 2 children are alike. In the end,he/she will adapt to the best way.

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S.E.

answers from Washington DC on

My son was a picky bottle eater. I had to try what seemed like dozens of different nipples, bottles, rings, before I found the ones he liked. It seemed like he only liked the rings with little or no writing or designs on them (smooth) and latex nipples...no idea why and fast flow ones (3 holes). Also plain straight bottles. They might have been evenflo. Sometimes I had to search half a dozen stores to find what he needed to keep them consistent. What I found worked were what hospitals use for newborns. i think they are generic evenflo (made for hospitals)and the rings have no writing on them. I think his lips were sensitive to it.
Now with sip cups I have to get the same kind every time. I have thrown out so many trying different ones with him. He is 3 1/2 now and a good sized boy.
Good luck.

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P.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I work in a daycare center and take care of a breast fed baby. He drinks between 10 to 12 ounces a day. If your baby is drinking 9 ounces then he is fine with the bottle. Make sure they are heating the bottle in a crockpot to a warm temperature and if he's not taking it while being held they may want to try feeding him in a seat while holding the bottle. You may have to write a note that it's okay to feed the child while sitting him in a seat because you're supposed to hold babies while feeding them. But I noticed with the baby I was taking care of that he would take a few sips of his bottle and then refuse it, but when I put him in the seat and held the bottle in his mouth he would drink it. You may also want to supplement with some cereal. Also maybe put him on a schedule. The baby I take care of eats when he comes in around 8:30am, then not again until 12-12:30pm then not again until 3-3:30pm. So when he does eat he's very hungry and wants his bottle. Also, if you do give him cereal, make sure they give him the bottle first so he doesnt fill up on the cereal. By the way, the ratio for babies should be 4 children to 1 adult, and your baby should have one caregiver. Good luck. P.

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L.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hello, I want to start off by saying that I am a daycare owner and have had MANY breast fed babies in my care - I am 30 weeks pregnant and if all goes well, I too will breast feed. One thing that I did find out very quickly is that babies prefer the breast!! And yes, they will wait until mom comes with her breast to eat. One family actually had to start formula feeding all together because their daughter refused too eat from the bottle! And I have had other children take a few weeks to a couple of months to get used to bottle feedings in the daycare. It all depends on your child. Try pumping more and bottle feeding her at home as well so she will get used to you feeding her from the bottle. It is a very hard thing for not only the parents but for the daycare provider when the baby will not eat during the day. Good luck!!

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J.A.

answers from Lewiston on

Hi K.!

Of course your baby prefers your breast, so it might take a while for her to get used to the bottle. Rest assured that she will not starve because she has you when she's not at daycare. I think if you give it some time she'll be okay. As she gets older she'll get better at feeding and once she realizes that's where the milk is coming from she'll adapt.

What kind of bottles are you using? I found my son was better able to adapt to wide nipple bottles that better mimic the size and shape of the breast's nipple. We used the Dr. Brown's wide-neck bottles and nipples, they worked great.

Good for you for pumping! If your daughter isn't drinking all of the milk you send to daycare, just bank it up for a rainy day. I had a really low milk supply so it was an effort to get enough milk to send to daycare every day. I envy those moms who actually have enough to put in the freezer, so please take advantage of it so I can live vicariously through you! :)

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D.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

K.,
Is the 9 oz breastmilk or formula? Either way, 9 oz from a bottle from an 11 week old is good. She will not be hungry, if she is she will feed! Be ready to nurse her more frequently and through the night a bit to make up for it.

A few suggestions for the caregiver: Offer the bottle to your daughter more frequently than a "schedule", this will enforce your healthy start to normal breastfeeding, as that is how a breastfed baby feeds - on cue. If your daughter is not getting what you think is enough - try a flexible cup feeder, eye dropper or syringe. When she is closer to 4 months she can use a slow sippy cup! Some babies never use a bottle but can be fed other ways. These suggestions will also help support your positive nursing committment at home.

If you have any other questions, let me know. You may want to try to connect with a La Leche league leader in your area. They can be a wonderful resource! www.lalecheleague.org

Love,
D. Brenner, MS, CLE
certified lactation educator
LLL leader

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S.S.

answers from New York on

My baby had a hard time also. What was hard was that she was rejecting me, and not gaining. We couldn't figure out what was wrong. I shopped around for the right nipple. The Playtex natural latch, the really soft one is the only one she liked. Another thing was that she only liked the stage 2 flow. I think it was more like my letdowns. But after stocking up on nipples, after a month she started rejecting the bottles. I tried a soft spout Nuby cup, the one designed for 3month olds, and she's been using them ever since. That was at 6 months, now she's 10 months. I think she liked it because like BF she could control the flow. Good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi! I started caring for a four month old that was exclusively breast fed until coming to me. For the first few weeks, he screamed his head off and refused to take the bottle. I was very patient and continued to try when he was hungry. Then one day he just took to the bottle and guzzled it all down! After that, there was no problem. But, as long as your daughter doesn't start losing weight, she may opt to not bottle feed at daycare. I think she will eventually take the bottle because she is very young. Maybe have Dad do a regular bottle feeding every evening. She may not take the bottle from you because she knows you have the breast milk! Good luck with everything.

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G.

answers from York on

K.,
After reading all the responses before I responded, I am surprised that no one mentioned about weening the baby to a bottle. I have heard of very successful stories of moms introducing the bottle BEFORE the start of daycare to get them used to it. I can't believe the amount of women who that never occured to. I think the idea of making a 11 week old go "cold turkey" while trying to adjust to a new daycare situation is a little crazy.

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M.

answers from Springfield on

I think the advice the ladies have given is wonderful. As a day care provider myself, I have had this happen in my care. The babies eventually took the bottle, they realized Mommy wasn't there, and that this was what they were going to have to get,lol! I agree about the surroundings, as well. Maybe the day care is disruptive at her feeding times. I always get myself comfy with an infant while feeding in a quiter end of my home and play some soft music, and speak gently and quietly to the other children while feeding. This seems to always do the trick when an upset infant is hungry and is just too upset to take the bottle.

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S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I had the same problem when I went back to work after having my now 4yr old daughter. She would hardly drink out of the bottle during the day and then was starving when I got home to feed her. What work for me is that I changed the type of bottle that I was using. When it was all said and done the Playtex bottle with the bags and the latex round nipple(not the square one that comes with the bottle) worked for her. I think that the slicone nipples are a little harder to suck than the latex. Don't worry it will get better.

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S.K.

answers from New London on

I had two daughters that would not drink from a bottle- this meant that I was unable to part from them at feeding time. I did find one solution that worked with them both!
It is a breast shaped bottle. It sounds wacky and looks even wackier- but it works!! For months it was the only bottle they would drink from!
I purchased it through One-Step-Ahead. It is a silicone bottle and it is actually shaped like a boob! Baby can push her face right up to it- like a real boob. It helped me more than I can say. It's called a Breast Bottle Nurser.
My girls pediatrician was so impressed with it when I showed him- that he now sells them in his office! He is also a lactation consultant.
Good luck!
-S.
http://www.onestepahead.com/product/85207/686/117.html

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