Book Suggestions, Please! - Richmond,TX

I love the word "determined." I have been using "strong-willed", but I like "determined" much better. :-) The Love and Logic series is fantastic. They are helpful even at a very young age. To be honest, though, this age is all about distraction. You can start teaching "no" but it is better to save that for safety issues because it will get overused and become meaningless. Remove as many problems as possible - won't keep her hands off the knick knack - move the knick knack, set up a nice big play area for her using a baby gate like this one (http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2266978) or block off rooms you don't want her in. I put a gate around the entire family room. And get creative with getting dressed/diaper changes/getting in the car seat/things that have to happen - hand her a toy she hasn't seen in a while, point to something, sing a song, ask her a question. This age is very cute, but as you know, reasoning is ways off. Hang in there and give the Love and Logic books a try (http://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp....

I think the best kinds of books at this age are the child development books. It's easier to parent well when you understand where your child's at and how much you can expect her to understand/comprehend at different ages and stages.
I always liked Dr. Sear's "The Baby Book" but you should visit the library and check out different ones before deciding which one to buy :)

Hello,
We've always really like Dr. Sears' books. He does have one on discipline, which you may find helpful:

http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Book-Better-Behaved-Chil...

Dr. James Dobson was my life-saver when my daughter was about your daughter's age. It was the first time I heard someone talk about a strong-willed child as a positive thing. You just need to learn how to use that to shape her without killing her spirit.

His 3 books, "The Strong-Willed Child," "Dare to Discipline," and "Parenting Isn't for Cowards" were the 3 books that I just read in succession over and over again. I know he has updated the first one but I don't know about the others. This was a long time ago.

I just went to a seminar yesterday that opened my eyes to how the way we frame things can affect our reactions. For example you can see your child as determined or just realize that she is in the process of self determination and forming her own sense of self. She is just now realizing that she is separate from her environment and from you and is able to affect things by her own actions. At 17 months old she is not defiant or misbehaving. She is following her own growth inclinations. If as her parent you see it as your task to support and nurture her naturally occuring development by meeting her needs of autonomy and belonging then your will develop a trusting and authentic relationship with her that will help her become the kind of person you want her to be. In order to develop self control and self dicipline, children have to have opportunities to exercise their will. To support that, we need to offer them as many chances as we can to make choices. When we must make choices for them, we need to do so as gently as possible. For example I think it's better to try to gain their cooperation rather than force the issue when it isn't necessary.
Here are two book suggestions for you.
"Unconditional Parenting" Alfie Kohn
"Nurtureshock" Poe Bronson
Enjoy your little one, the time really does fly by.

A far as being cooperative during diaper changing and dressing, be silly. Make it social time. I've found for both of my kids, that it made things tremendously easier to keep a large bucket hat in the sock drawer. I'd plop it on their heads, which aggravated them, and they would be so distracted by taking it off, they didn't notice I was putting on their socks. Or, take a second to try to put her pants on her head or her socks on her nose, or put HER shirt on YOU or whatever, or blow a raspberry on her tummy during a diaper change - she'll get to giggling, and forget to protest.

I love Talk So Your Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk. It does gear toward older kids, but it's going to be helpful as she gets verbal, too. For instance, how often do we hear them say, "I'm not cold!" and we say, "Yes, you are - put your jacket back on." That's not listnening, that's a knee-jerk response. Be respectful from the start, and hopefully avoid the issue further down the line. You'll also see stuff like the silliness mentioned above, that you can start using now.

I've read Parenting the Strong Willed Child, all of Dr. Sears' books, and 1-2-3 Magic. They are all good reads, but my absolute FAVORITE is Parenting With Love and Logic. They often have classes at many churches, as well. At 17 months, your child knows what she wants, but probably does not have the vocabulary to express herself yet and she is getting frustrated. Redirecting works well with a child this age, but make no mistake about it, she probably will not outgrow that "determined" spirit. Reading a book like Parenting with Love and Logic will give you GREAT ideas that will serve you well for the next 17 years! Good luck!

yea, I think that's normal. I don't have a book suggestion, but want to say that I think it's their job at this age to explore, test boundaries. It's good to teach them "no", but I also think distracting them as much as possible from what they shouldn't be doing is the most effective strategy. And, if it's not going to hurt them, let them try whatever it is they want to do whenever possible.

I can't recommend any books and honestly, even those people that wrote the books made mistakes with their kids and got frustrated too. Just trust yourself. Both of my kids were uncooperative at that age and still are now (3 1/2 and 2)! Your daughter is probably somewhat new to walking/running and all she wants to do is explore her world. Remember, she has only been in this world for 17 months! She wants to take it all in. Sing to her, smell her stinky feet and say PEEE YEEWW!, say your going to change her super quick and start counting and moving really fast (that always made my kids laugh). My 3 yr old now dresses herself so that is something to look forward to. My 2 yr old son is a L. pain! I grab him as he's running by me. Hold him to get his shirt on. By the time I have his shirt on he has gotten away from me and I have to catch him again to get his pants on. On days when I need to move fast, I get myself and my daughter ready and at the last minute, I take all my sons clothes and shoes downstairs and dress him right before I walk out the door. For some reason he is more cooperative that way. As far as getting her attention and making her listen, distract her. If she getting into something you don't want her to get into guide her away and direct her attention to something else but be consistent because she will test you. I know it is frustrating but embrace this determination. Think of when she is older and how this determination will pay off.

I think Parenting the Strong Willed Child has advice for toddler aged children. This book worked great for us and you can use the advice in a way that works for you, you don't have to do it word for word.

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child-Rex-F...

"1-2-3 Magic" video will save your sanity! It's my go-to choice for discipline.

As for those diaper changes, find a light-up/spinning whirlygig. It works wonders for diaper time! I also keep a drawer full of gimmicky toys, oddball household items for diaper time. Anything to spark interest.....