Big Boy Bed

Updated on February 25, 2008
E.H. asks from Baton Rouge, LA
6 answers

My son will be 2 at the end of September. We have moved him into his "big boy bed" because he is getting Thomas the Train bedding for his birthday and I want him to be ready for it. He sleeps on a mat on the floor at daycare and does great. But I work there and he is getting to where he does not want to listen to me at home OR at school now. Any suggestions for that?

My main question, though, is how do I get him to sleep in his bed by himself without having to sit there for an hour until he goes to sleep? When he was in the crib, I would let him cry himself to sleep. Obviously that is backfiring now. But I am working all day and by the time I get home, it's time for dinner, bath, and he needs to get to bed. I am in my last semester of school and completely stressed. I'm working on potty training- which is getting better right now. But this sleeping stuff is about to drive me insane. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!

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So What Happened?

Okay, so we have made a little progress, but not much. We got back into a routine. We potty, bathe, brush teeth, get dressed, read a book, pray, and then watch 10 minutes of a video. He still takes a bit to fall asleep (I have started to sing to him, which helps). But now our problem is that he will not stay in his bed. Even if he goes to sleep, he will wake up at some point and come to my room. A few times he woke up and went to the door I guess thinking I left. So we put those things on the knobs so he cannot open his bedroom door-- no help. He can break through those. So now I feel like I'm back at phase 1 because I cannot get him to STAY in his bed.

More Answers

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C.T.

answers from New Orleans on

Hi E.,
My son is 18 months old and he has been in his big boy bed for 4 months now. He loves it the only thing we bought extra was a gate to put on his door so that if he woke before we did he couldnt get in anyother room of the house. The only thing that we did was tell him it was time for night night and we would leave his room if he got up we just put him back in it and left out the room, now he only comes out of it when it is time to get up or if he had a used diaper before he fell a sleep. Wish you all the luck in the world, I can only imagine the stress you are under with work, school, and a 2 year old because I stay stressed and I am a stay at home mom.

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N.C.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Hi E.. I am a single mother of 3, two girls ages 7 and 8 and a 4 month old boy (our prince :) ) My sister is a behavior analysist. She works only with children. She said she tells parents (and also did this with her boy who is now 5) that the way to do it unfortunetly is to let him cry himself to sleep. She said with her son, the first night was horrible, he cried for 30 minutes. Every night he cried less and less until finally when it was bed time he would just go to sleep. Routines help too, you hear that about babies but it works for all ages. My four month old goes to sleep by himself because since he was a month old I have a routine of giving him a bath, massaging him and putting him in front of the tv where he watches the same dvd every night. When it is over I feed him. Whether the feeding puts him to sleep or not, I put him in his bed and he does not fuss. Maybe try a routine with your son to prepare him for bedtime. If he knows what's coming and he also knows crying won't do any good, he may just start falling asleep on his own. Whatever you decide to do, it may take a week or two. The key is to BE CONSISTENT or you will have to start all over. Hope this helps!!!

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H.T.

answers from New Orleans on

My daughter is just about to be a year old but I just wanted to say I respect you for raising a child, going to school and working that is incredible.

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M.M.

answers from Shreveport on

um, sounds to me like you need to relax a bit.
Are you in his class at the daycare? Is so, can it be changed?
Can you sit with him at bedtime and still study with a book light? just a thought.
Would he fall asleep faster if you sang to him? mine always did and still do...and they're 8 & 6!
Is it imperative that he potty train now? If the idea isn't 'clickin' with him now maybe waiting a bit wouldn't hurt...we had all the stuff and started the kids thinking of potty training starting at age 2 but weren't successful until 4-1/2 for our oldest and 4 for the youngest...!
This bodily process should not get hung up in emotional stress!
For either of you!
Do you have a support network? Are you in Bossier or S'port?
What are you studying?
Boy, I'm nosy...sorry. Just trying to think of suggestions.
MM (older mom [49 on the 9th] of two in Bossier)

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M.J.

answers from Lafayette on

i find the best way to keep my 2 yr old in her bed is to silently just walk her back to the bed when she gets up, stand just outside the room (with my arms folded across my chest!) until she goes to sleep. I do the same with nap time, when she doesn't want to go to bed. I have to be consistant about it though or she keeps getting up to see how many times she can before we let her stay up. That is what we did with our 4 yr old, which we rarely have problems with her getting up in the night anymore. (my 4 yr old used to get up at night and do the same thing, my husband has had to look for intruders several times at 2am only to find Ashley playing close to the back door..luckily it was before she could unlock a deadbolt! we have since put chains on all the outside doors and he makes sure to wake me before leaving for work to "lock him out" and put the chain on after leaving.)

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L.K.

answers from New Orleans on

I went through the exact same issue with my daughter last year. It's a long exhausting process, especially when you've been working all day and want nothing more than to go get your daily chores done or maybe even just spend some one on one time with your husband or your own pillow! but unfortunately when you switch them to the big bed it's a necessary process and you have to come up with ways to make him feel secure and help him want to stay in there. It takes a while... my daughter was in her bed for about 4 months before she finally just got used to it and stayed. The only hope I can offer is that this will get better but you have to be firm. If you leave the room and he gets up to follow you you need to pick him up and put him right back... there will be some nights when it may cross your mind to take the crib back down but you need to let him know that he is a big boy now and this is where he needs to sleep. Be sure you are consistent with his bedtime routine; ie: bath, story, song, kiss, hug, lights out... a routine helps him to wind down and allows him to know what to expect next. We got Emily her own bed right when she turned 3 and a year later she LOVES her bed so much that even when I give her permission to sleep with me she tells me "no, my bed is just the right size for me and I grow better in it"! I wish you the best, and feel your pain...being a working mom can seem thankless and exhausting at times but just as every phase does this too shall pass... have patience.
Good luck!

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