Behavior - Merrill,MI

Updated on September 15, 2011
J.F. asks from Saginaw, MI
11 answers

My son will be 6 in November. He went to preschool for a year then went into Kindergarten. He didn't sit still for most of the year he had problems keeping hands to himself, didn't really want to listen. We had meetings with the teacher and counselors, seemed to help a little bit. They suggested that he repeat Kindergarten again, but it seems to be happening again this year. He has a different teacher and I was told that this teacher has a special way of getting the kids to do what she wants them to do. I have no problem communicating with the teachers and trying new things to get him to behave, but I also don't like it that the teacher talks to you like you are a little kid in the notes that she sends home. I can deal with that I just need some insight on how to get my son to settle down. He goes 5 days a week all day. My brother keeps saying that he needs to be evaluated because he thinks that he's ADHD. My brother also thinks that my son should just sit and be quite and watch TV. I've watched him play outside and he's content when he's out playing with his trucks or riding his bike or playing basketball. I thought about signing him up for Tae Kwon Do to see if that helps.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

J.:

I'm sorry - I know the feeling of having a BOY...he sounds like he is ALL boy...I understand why you are not quick to label him...

If the school thinks it's a problem - get him evaluated by a professional for ADD or ADHD....

If you want a holistic approach - find a holistic dietitian who can help you find foods that help "calm" him...but right now? He sounds like ALL BOY to me...

My boys are like this - they have been evaluated and found not to have ADD - but ADD TENDENCIES - in other words, they are boys...my oldest is dyslexic. so we are hiring a tutor to work with him since I don't understand how to help him...

No child - not even my boys - will "sit still and be quiet" while watching TV!!! I haven't seen any kids that can sit still that long...

My boys made TREMENDOUS improvement in self-control when they started doing Tae Kwon Do!!

GOOD LUCK!!!

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Tae Kwon Do or any related martial art is great for anyone (me) with ADD/ADHD tendencies! I can't sit and watch TV either. Or sit and finish my school work, etc. I am now a black belt in karate and every time I go to a class I can come home and focus for about 3 hours. Running works the same way for me. This has been backed up by scientific research, that a vigorous, repetitive work-out gives us about three hours of better attention and focus. Besides all the other benefits that martial arts training gives a person of any age!

2 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

J. -know that you are doing the right things, letting him repeat K, letting him play outside as much as possible, (TV makes ADD worse!) What is the teacher trying? (besides notes home)
Have you or the teachers tried behavior charts? Remember the goal is for him to find success, so the chart needs to have only a few goals, Keep hands to himself would be one of the firsts! Once he masters the first two you can add more.

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G.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I totally agree with Cheryl. I have two boys of my own and they do not sit still either. When my oldest son was in kindergarten (last year), he wasn't still all the time. Kids have short attention spans and that's normal. It is very challenging for teachers to get kids at that age to sit still for a lengthy period of time.
Sounds like your boys just have lots of energy to burn, and like Cheryl suggested, may be going ahead and trying the Tai Kwan Do will help them get most of that energy burned off. :-)

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K.O.

answers from Detroit on

Have him evaluated for Sensory Processing Disorder. The solution is occupational therapy....not medication like ADHD kids. It's different.
It has made a world of difference for my son.

Contact Building Bridges in Plymouth. They are wonderful!

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M.B.

answers from Detroit on

Please have your son tested for ADHD. I waited till 3rd grade to have my daughter tested and wish I would have done it sooner. She has a much better quality of life now that she is on medication, she even made honor roll. The class room can be very overwhelming for children with ADD/ADHD, too many noises and distraction that your child may not know how to handle so much stimuli coming into his brain can make them very out of control. It wouldn't hurt anything to at least have him evaluated. ADHD is very real - I was not a beleiver prior to having my youngest child. I ended up in the doctors office in tears sure something seriouse was wrong with my parenting, or she was crazy. Keep up the faith and check out all your options then make a decision.

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K.T.

answers from Detroit on

Just a quick thought....if they have TKD "sampler" classes in your area (ours were through our Rec&Ed dept), enroll him there before getting immersed into a whole program....we thought our son would benefit from martial arts and he hated it so it was a bigger battle to go than we wanted. If I had invested more money, I would have been very upset to drop it.

IMO, your son sounds like a perfectly normal boy to me. Being on the cusp of 6 is still in the range of learning school etiquette (hands to yourself, active listening skills, etc.).

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

I think the teacher is a little like that in her notes just in case there are parents who don't understand otherwise what she's talking about.
But why is it that a 6 year old suddenly is potential ADHD just because he's active and fidgety? 6 year olds usually are. I have real issues labelling with a trendy disorder/disorder of the day which can lead to stuffing drugs down a kid's throat. They need time to develop!
Also as a mom with 3 second degree black belt sons in TKD, I've also seen ADHD and mongoloid in class. I'm not discouraging you with TKD, but the one student with ADHD didn't do well because class was in a gymnasium, and the sounds and noise bounced off the walls and made it difficult for him to listen and learn. Just something to think about. Otherwise, go for it! Focusing is never a bad thing. Too bad you're so far away; my sons' instructor has a few classes spread out and is very good with small kids and special needs. His wife, I believe, has worked with special needs and been very helpful. Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

Getting your son involved in Tae Kwan Do would be a great idea. My daughter took TWD and learned more than just the TWD...discipline, respect, timeliness...all good things. I had all girls but my sister has all boys. She says boys are just more squirmy and have a shorter attention span. They need more physical activity than girls. You might try making sure he eats all good things....NO SUGAR and be sure he gets lots of "rough and tumble" play. Be careful about having him evaluated. It is SO common now...it seems that ALL kids seem to be ADHD in some way. DUH..kids are kids, not adults in small bodies. "They" are too quick to put little ones on drugs when in fact they are just being kids. Talk with him about acceptable behavior , NOT good behavior. You might try going and observing at school to see just what his teacher is talking about. That said, it wasn't clear in your post about where you have him this year. I would agree that if he is turning 6 in November and has already completed kindergarten and is now in first grade, he is probably one of the youngest in his class. Anymore, most parents hold kids back that have a late birthday. There is a big difference in the maturity level between 6 and 7. My oldest has a November birthday. Against the recommendation of the teachers, I sent her to kindergarten at 4 because she was turning 5 before the "cut-off". She was fine, could do all the work etc and didn't have any behavioral issues...until middle school. THEN the age difference and maturity level really showed up. She was 13 and in high school. OMG! Most kids were 18 months to 2 years older than she was. We made it through...she is now 33, married, has her masters degree and 3 kids....it all turned out fine but things might have been better through those middle/high school days if she had just been a bit older. If it is still an option, holding him back NOW would be a good idea, get him into something like TWD and rally in his successes! All the best to you Mama!

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T.R.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Look into Brain Balance Acheivement Centers. www.brainbalancecenters.com There is one in Portage(near Kalamazoo). They do a very extensive cognitive and sensory motor assessment to see which areas of your childs brain is not functioning at their individual age/grade level. If you choose to enroll, they work with your child in sensory motor, cognitive and nutrition. Totally DRUG FREE. They have had amazing results with all types of kids from Autism, aspergers, dyslexia, ADHD and other learning disabilities. You can read the book, Disconnected Kids by Dr. Robert Melillo, co-founder of the franchise. He has also written another book, Reconnected Kids. It's well worth it!

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J.S.

answers from Detroit on

They only insight I can offer is towards the teacher's communication skills. Some of the best elementary school teachers are so good with kids because they are so ingrained in their job. In return, they forget to speak to others like adults. I wouldn't take it personally. A good friend's mother is that way. She still speaks to everyone she knows like they are in K or 1st grade even though we all are married with kids of our own. She really doesn't communicate any other way. She is awesome with her students though!

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