Bedtime Potty Training

Hi K.,

I have a friend that was a bed wetter all her growing up years. She helped a mutual friend whose son wet until he was 16. They came to understand some diet and nutrition pieces to the puzzle that made all the difference.

Have you evaluated his diet? Someone made a good suggestion regarding food allergies (dairy inparticular)and have you ever looked at his carbohydrate intake?

If you would like to hear my friends'story let me know.

M. G

I would ask for a referral to a specialist. There could be underlying health reasons that could be causing this.

Hi! We had the same problem with our son. We tried the pills too. I ended up taking him to another urologist who did an x-ray after making him swallow some stuff. It revealed too small of an opening. They did outpatient surgery and the bed wetting stopped almost immediately. This was years ago. So I would recommend that you take him to another urologist. Good Luck!

My youngest son also wet the bed well into elementary school. I wish we hadn't waited so long to do something about it. There was no physical reason for him to wet the bed and he used a DDAVP nasal spray for several years with success, but we had to continue to raise the dosage to get results. Eventually, at the end of our rope, we went to bed-wetting specialty office in Farmington Hills. I don't remember the name of it, and it wasn't covered by our Blue Cross. We had to pay several thousand dollars, but it worked completely. From the time our son entered the program to the time when he was totally dry every night was about 6 months. The program involved INCREASING the amount of fluids he drank and having him hold his urine as long as possible during the day. It also involved waking him up at night to urinate and making certain that he was totally awake before we let him go. He had to remember a specific word in the morning so that we knew he was awake. Our son also had night terrors, so we believe it really was a sleep disorder. Good luck!

The "pull-ups" that Amanda suggested are called Under Jams. My niece uses them and they are much better than pull-ups. She too still wets at 10 years old, and she takes a pill right before bedtime. 9 times out of 10 the pill works for her. The only side effect that I know of is that it makes her sleepy and she goes to bed earlier. If you want, I can find out the name of her med. Maybe it's different from the one that you have.

You know...I really think it's okay. Just like we all grow at different rates, so do our bladders. He may just have a small bladder that hasn't caught up with him. He also may have an overactive bladder, and need a prescription to help him. If it is bothersome to him, give it a shot. There is nothing he can do to 'train' himself to stop bladder spasms, if that is the case. If I were in your shoes, I would try anything within reason to help my child!

~L.

I totally agree with the no drinks after 6 pm. Some kids sleep so soundly they just don't wake up. My brother wet the bed till he was 10. Nothing after that. Back then there were no pull ups, just rubber sheets.

It is stinky, messy, and embarassing for him and you, but it seems you try hard to protect him from undue embaressment and humiliation.

Hang in there and continue building him up and encouraging him. The good news is, he will grow out of it. This too shall pass.

It might have to do with the changes in your lives. It may be stressful for him to have new family members and see his parents go through a divorce. Have you thought about counseling?

Good Morning K.!

Ohhh... I can so feel your pain! My (now) 10 year old was a consistant bed wetter til he was 8. (I am making an assumption that when you say "consistant", that this is not a new issue due to the new blended family.) I bet my son and I had a lot of the feelings and frustrations you and your son have about it now!

My son was an EXTREMELY heavy sleeper. To wake him up after the first hour of sleep was like trying to rouse the dead!! And even after you got him sitting up with his eyes open for a while... he still would not remember being got up in the morning. So I guess it was no surprise that he couldn't get himself up to go to the bathroom at night.

What worked for him was to follow a behavior plan for 3-6 months. We purchased a bed wetting alarm for $70. (We got the Wet Stop alarm from www.wet-stop.com I see they have come down in price and are now $50.) There is a sensor that attaches to their underwear and then there is an alarm that attaches to their PJ's up near their shoulder. When the sensor gets wet even a drop.. the alarm goes off. When we first started the plan, he would have an accident (we would hear the alarm, HE wouldn't even move!!) we would get him up, take him to the bathroom, have him change his PJ's, have him help change the sheets, take the wet ones to the washing machine.. then before he went back to bed we would give him a code word to remember in the morning. We would tell it to him and have him write it down 5 times. (And do you know that for about 3 weeks... after doing all those things.. he still could not remember the word in the morning??? His brain was that deep in sleep!!)
He also would sleep through the alarm on the loudest setting that was right near his ear!!

Then gradually he began remembering the code word in the morning (we had a different one every night), and he started being able to wake up himself when the alarm went off. And after about 6 months.. we were able to stop using the alarm, and he has been dry ever since... no accidents!!

I wish I could tell you there is a quick fix for this problem, but unless it is a medical condition (which I think you have ruled out) you are left with 2 choices..committing to a long term behavior plan (which takes away from our beauty sleep!!) or waiting for him to out grow it.

While you are going through the trainning it can be very tiring and frustrating... but the results (for us!!) have been worth it! We have saved oodles in pull ups (the alarm is DEFINATELY worth the investment, and I am not having to wash sheets,blankets, PJs, and underwear all the time. And my son isn't afraid and embarressed to go on vacation, or stay the night at a friend or family members.. or have them stay here.

This may not be the answer you wanted to hear... but it is the truth in our situation!! This technique is the same as the ones you hear people paying thousands of dollars to help their kids. You are mostly paying for the professionals to help walk you through the steps. If that's helpful.. maybe consider making the investment. If you're a person that can stay disciplined and on top of a project.. I'd save the money and do it myself. But you know best what will help most in your family!!

I wish you and your son the best of luck in whatever you decide is best!

Have a great day!
Peace,
B.

P.S. If you're a Christian... don't forget to pray about it :-)

Our older son had the same issue. Our pediatrician recommended a bedwetting alarm. It snapped onto his underwear, right where he would get wet first. At the first sign of wetness, it would go off and wake him up. It only took a week or so for him to wake up when he needed to go. It worked wonders. And it trained his brain to wake him up before he wet the bed. Now, at 10 he sleeps through the night and rarely even gets up to go to the bathroom.

When I was younger, I apparently wet the bed a lot. To go with what other moms are saying, my parents used the alarm on me. I remember it had a box velcroed to my wrist and a wire that ran through my clothes and attached to my underwear. When it got wet, the alarm sounded and I knew I should go to the bathroom. I'm not sure how long it took to train me, but it worked. I have no emotional scars or ill effects from this being used on me. I actually will consider it if I ever have this problem with any of my kids.

K.,
Is your son a milk drinker? My brother had a problem when we were growing up and the doctor suggested it was like having an allergic reaction to milk. If he drank milk after 6p.m. he had a problem. He could drink anything else though without issue. I know it sounds strange, but it worked for my brother!

good luck,
K.

my brother was a bed-wetter until he was probably about 10 years old. I remember my parents trying to send him to a shrink to get him to stop but nothing they tried seemed to help. He eventually grew out of it. Back then they didn't have pull ups so it was rubber sheets and my mom doing laundry all the time.

Have you considered just putting him in underwear at bedtime and using a soaker pad under him? Sometimes a bigger mess will wake the kid up at least and start to train their sleeping brain to respond differently. That's what I did with my 4.5 y.o. daughter. I stopped putting the pull ups on her and now she probably only has an accident about once every few weeks and it's tapering off.

In the '3 day potty training' method the recommendation for night training was to sleep in the child's room for 3 nights and whenever they roused in their sleep (an indication of discomfort - that they're about to urinate) to ask them if they have to use the toilet. You might have to say it a few times because they're in a deep sleep. I haven't tried it but it seems like good idea.

HTH,
J.

Hi
Maybe if you set an alarm and put it away from the bed,then tell him he has to get up and shut it off, then use the bathroom. Maybe after two hours of sleep, while you are still awake in the evening, he then may not be afraid to get up to use the bathroom. He may be afraid because it is dark and so quiet in the night. N. H

My niece had the same problem, turned out she didn't need to be trained, she had a sleep disorder. I am not sure what kind of doctor she went to, but it was determined that because she slept more sound then the average child her age, she was unable to wake herself when she had to go. Your Pediatrician should be able to help with recommending a specialist.
Good Luck!!

Shelly

K.

Have you sought out the help of a chiropractor for your son’s problem?

Chiropractors are not neck and back pain doctors, we are nervous system doctors. Our bodies are self healing and self organizing. The central nervous system (our brain and spinal cord) and the peripheral nervous system (the nerves that branch out of the spinal cord and go to the cells, tissues, and organs in our bodies) control how our bodies heal and organize itself. If there is any interference in the communication of our nervous system with the body, then there will either be increased activity or decreased activity, either way the body is no longer functioning at it’s highest potential. Chiropractors call this interference a subluxation (sub-lux-a-tion). This interference/subluxation is caused by three major life stresses- Physical stress (trauma, repetitive motions, poor posture); Biochemical stress (preservatives in food, drugs- prescription, alcohol, smoking); and Mental or Emotional stress.

If he has a subluxation this may help to explain the bedwetting. There are nerves that control the bladder and the muscles surrounding the bladder which help with controlling urges. If there is interference to these nerves it can make it hard for him to control his movements and he could be prone to accidents. The best way to find out if chiropractic will help your son is to take him to a chiropractor for a consult and chiropractic evaluation.

I am a Chiropractor at Khalil Family Chiropractic Wellness and Intervention in Eastpointe, MI. Please feel free to contact our office for more information. Our number is ###-###-####, our email is www.khalilwellness.com

You can also look up pediatric chiropractors in your area at www.MCPAkids.org. They have research on the benefits of chiropractic adjustments for children with a bedwetting problem. Please note that chiropractic is not just for helping with a condition or illness, it is a safe, natural way to improve our bodies function and overall.

Yours in Health and Wellness
Dr B.

Hey, no real advice hear, but I have seen a new pull-up product for older kids that is alot more like underwear. Can't remember what they are called, but I saw an ad in Parents Mag this last issue. Unfortunatly, I've already thrown out the mag. Check into it. Even if he still has accidents, it might be a self esteem boost to feel like he's not wearing a diaper?

It could be his bladder just hasn't caught up with the rest of his growth rate. My one son was still having problems at 12. We tried the nighttime plug in pad that is supposed to wake them up when it detects liquid.
Bottom line was that in our case it was he developed at different rates. I joke about him being chronologically the age he is, but developmentally, 3 years younger. Organ-wise, dentally. Everything worked out tho.
Is your son a deep deep sleeper? That can be part of it too.
It could be an emotional thing. Maybe deep down he's feeling the effects of the divorce. Traumatic events can easily latch on and affect our health etc without our even knowing it. Just a thought.

Hi K.,

There really isn't anything you can do to train him. This isn't about training or being lazy. His body just needs to mature enough to pay attention to the signals during his sleep. It tends to run in families. Just let him know it's actually quite common and normal. Someday soon this'll be a thing of the past. I remember reading a really good book from the library that had some suggestions. You could do a google search for the title too, just by putting the subject in. I saw that Hyland's has homeopathic mini-pellets that are for that too. I just got to the point that I thought of it only as an annoying laundry problem. I keep a very calm demeanor around my sons so they didn't stress overly much on it. Best of luck, S.

I can't tell you anything about the training part...
I have heard that its just a part of the body that in some mature slower than in others... One of my uncles wet the bed until he was about 12... No problems after that.
Stay strong and good luck!!!

Not sure if I will help you or not but I wanted to let you know I was also a bed wetter for many years. I came to figure out that I would dream that I had walked to the bathroom and was on the toilet when actually I wasn't :( I had to train myself to feel something in the night, grab toilet paper, touch a wall, something. I would wake myself up if I didn't feel the wall next to the toilet or paper in my hands, I know it wont be the same situation because you have a boy but I honsetly believe that bed wetting is mainly do to dreaming so realisticly that you think you are actually on the toilet. Try having him touch the same thing in the bathroom every time day or night before he actually goes, (I still do it to this day, grab the paper before I start going lol) it may take some time but I think it will help you.