J.L. asks from San Antonio, TX on August 28, 2008
Bankruptcy and Divorce
We are having a horrible time trying to sell our house. Our realtor is not helping or doing anything but sabotaging offer after offer. We are being forced into a short sell and that is falling through with help from our realtor too. We have one more month to sell this house or it will be foreclosed on. If it is foreclosed, I'm told that it will go to action and we will be held responsible for the remainder of the bill. If this happens then we will have no other option then bankruptcy.
I'm not familiar with this process. We currently live in an apartment, because we had to move for my husband's job. I am in school and we have one car that we are still paying on.
Has anyone been through this before? What kind of ramifications does it have? I know that our credit will be shot, forever. Will we lose the car and the apartment? Will I have to drop out of school? We are honestly looking at divorce too, something that I never thought that I would, but I am finding it very hard to respect my husband who is not fighting for anything. I love him dearly, but I am just so lost about how he is taking this. We said that we were in this together and that we would see each other through this, but I am really struggling. I have a 3 yr old angel and we are all alone here in San Antonio. I don't want her to see us fighting all the time. I'm just so lost right now. I don't have a religious home since we just moved here. Any advice would be great. If you have any suggestions of a good bankruptcy lawyer that would be great. Thank you.
I hope this made since. I'm trying to type through tears.
B.R. answers from San Antonio on August 29, 2008
I dont know much about stuff like that but delcaring bankrupt is the worst thing you can do. Get a new realtor. You are off selling the house for what you can get for it and not let it go on your credit as a forecolser.
The best person you need to get ahold of is Dave Ramsey. Call his talk show and tell him your story and what is going on and he will tell you the best thing to do. Like he saves poeple from all this kind of stuff. You need to call him or get in touch of him some how.
Dont declare bankruptcy untill you talk to him!! My sister declared it and she is still stuck with bills like crazy. Cant get Cerdit anywhere. Can buy a car at the highest rate that is allowed. It was the worst thing she did.
D.M. answers from San Antonio on August 29, 2008
DUMP the realtor FAST. If they are not doing the job you have hired them to do, you FIRE them. They are not doing their job which is part of their contract. Find another one. If you need one I can recommend ours Brenda Scott, Realtor ###-###-####- she was very good. We bought our house and only had 4 days to look. She was efficient and knew the market. Are you trying to sell a house out of state/san antonio? It seems that may be the case due to living in an apartment. ??
Be aware, your realtor could be doing their job but due to the market it may not be that way. i'm answering based only on what you wrote.
I don't know if you can ask for any more extensions from your loan department. Call and ask....
I'm not sure if you've done these things first, I'm asking to see if you have any other options before having such troubles ahead.
Don't jump to divorce or bankruptcy; you will suffer a long time even after the 7 years. Talk to the bank or a realtor that can answer these questions. Don't take a no or i don't know for an answer. Get answers! Push, be nice but firm and follow up with everyone.
N.T. answers from San Antonio on August 29, 2008
If you truly feel your realtor is doing these things, contact the company they work for and tell them how you feel. They can always give you another realtor and/or you can file a complaint against them. You didn't mention where you are living but I know my daughter is trying to sell her house and it is in a very big demand subdivsion and she has had no luck at all with the way the economy is right now, so maybe your realtor is really working for you but just not having luck. I know my daughter's realtor seemed like at first wasn't agreeing with anything, but turns out the buyers were always trying to come in way to low and take advantage of the economy situation. Remember that is the way a realtor makes their money, by selling your home so I am sure they are probably trying but again there are some out there that maybe do not do their jobs correctly.
As for your situation. I do know it is much harder today to file for backrupcy, but if that is the only recourse you have then don't be embarrassed by it. It happens to a lot of people and your credit will not be good I think it is now 10 years. Many years ago I lived on credit and I was always living paycheck to paycheck and wondering where all the money was going. One day a friend of mine told me if I would just cut up all those credit cards and start paying cash I would find out that I had more money than I thought. I finally cut up those credit cards and have paid cash for everything ever since and they were right. I can afford much more without the credit. I am not paying all that interest which you never get them paid off if you just make the minimum payment and contine to charge. If I needed something that was expensive I would save the money and once I had it I went and bought it. I owe no one to this day. Of course you will always have a car payment unless you pay that off and a house payment but don't get in that credit card and loan trap. It was hard at first but once you get in the flow of it you will be amazed at how much you really have.
You mentioned a divorce. I do hope you will reconsider. You say your husband does nothing. Have you thought that maybe he is in the dumps just as well and is hurting and embarrassed? Surely he didn't want to do this to you and your family and always remember it is your debt as well and you were involved in creating it also. I just hate to see two people divorce when the going gets tough if they are still in love and want to be a family. Don't let a crisis destroy you and your family. It will get better but it will take time. If you think you can't afford anything now wait until you find out how much an attorney is going to cost you to get that divorce. Also by getting a divorce does not free you from any of you and your husband's debts. I would think it would be better to work together to get out of this problem than divorce and you have to pay half and he pays half and you are also trying to raise the children on your own, unless you have family that can help you. Just make sure if you do want a divorce that it is for the right reasons and not just because the stress and pressure is getting to heavy. You both need each other right now. I certainly understand your feelings of not having any respect anymore for your husband and under the circumstances that may be a proper feeling to some degree but remember both of you have feelings.
I wish you much luck in the coming future and trust me things will get better no matter which direction you take. It will be hard and it will take time for it to get better but it will. Trust me, I have been through a lot myself and went through some of your same feelings. Just use your head and think everything through and whatever decision you make, make sure it is truly want you want for yourself and your children. Just don't make any rash decisions or you will end up regretting it. Feel confident within yourself in whatever your decision is so you don't look back and say "what if"
E.M. answers from San Antonio on August 29, 2008
J., I'm so sorry that you are going through this difficult fiasco. The only thing I can help you with is get a hold of Lisa Weisberger Harder she works for Remax. She is awesome. She works with her husband David Harder. They sold my house in one month (last year). Sorry I do not have their phone number anymore.
Don't loose your faith in God.... Sometimes things happen for a reason. Think of your little girl. She needs you in one hole piece! May God give you strength and courage.
B.C. answers from San Antonio on August 29, 2008
NO! You will not lose your car or your apartmetn, as long
as you keep those payments up!
You didn't give the reason why your in such a predictiment!
Also Bankruptcy only last on your record for 7 years. That
isn't bad! What is even funnier, after you do declare it, a
lot of credit card companies will immediately give you credit!
Yes, with a min of credit, but, still credit!
One other, gem>>>you can fire realtors!