Bad Role Model

This smells a bit like troll, but I'll bite.

So this man started his business at 16 and is now a semi-retired millionaire??? It sounds like your son could benefit from learning about business from him.

How this man lives, unless he is hurting someone is absolutely none of your business. If I were a semi retired millionaire at 32, I'd party, sleep late, buy things and enjoy life too. It's not your place to question him or his choices.

And if he is really that unsavory, why on earth are you even asking him to babysit?? If he is so irresponsible with day to day stuff, why would you ask him to care for a child?

If he is a bad influence, limit your son's time with him. Have your son's father step in to guide him in a more positive direction. Talk about the work, risk and dedication it too to get to the free lifestyle his Uncle is afforded now. There are bad influences all over, you have to show your son how to make his own path and think for himself.

the time to stop this would have been YEARS ago - why did you keep letting him have an influence over your son as he was growing up?

First of all, if you think it's a bad thing to do to move a business to a lower cost area, you will be fighting a losing battle. That's how business works. cutting overhead is why we have factories in China. Companies would go broke if they stayed in high cost areas like New Jersey.

Second - if I had made a million dollars, I might take a break too!!!!!

I am having a hard time answering this because you are new, I know noting about you and you could be a troll. Thing is people don't just shut down mulit million dollar businesses and start up again in another country. They form mulitnationals and base the same company in another country. If it only a million ish dollar business there is not point in moving it to another country because you can outsource plus there is the issue of repatriating the money so this all seems like BS to me.

And as CoMo said, if I had made my millions I would rest for a bit too.
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Oh and if you didn't understand that, I am saying I think you are either a troll or you have no clue what your brother in law does because that isn't how business works.
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OKAY FELLOW MOMS! this,
"I have two children a daughter who is past university and a son who is fifteen and a son who is ten, they are fairly trustworthy but I am worried about his uncle (My husband's brother)"
Read daughter past university son who is 16 last night! This is a TROLL!

I can understand, sort of, someone not understanding business but I don't think we will ever forgot how many kids we have or how old they are!

See this is why we need to discipline our children, teach them self motivation! Here someone is raising this stupid child who thinks it is funny to troll and is apparently too stupid to proof read her writing. She went from two kids 16 and a graduate to two kids a graduate, 15 and 10. This kid can't even count! let alone write!

Communication. With your son about being a man, with your husband about your worries, with your BIL about how your son looks up to him.

You don't have any right to tell your BIL how to live. But you can talk to your husband about your worries. They can have a "man talk".

You raised your son. Hopefully the values that you and your husband instilled are stronger enough to withstand some "real world" conversations. And unless your son ends up with a multi-million dollar business, chances are he won't end up like him because their life situations are wildly different.

We each only get one life to live & I think every individual is entitled to live It the way THEY want to.

You don't say how old your son is....but if the worst he sees is an Uncle who worked hard, became very successful and then is free to do what he wants, when he wants to, I personally think that's great!

Does he show your son love? That's the important question?

Unless this man bankroles your son's life, your son will have to actually work for a living. If he is able to start a successful business and run it like his uncle, move it overseas and live off the business, then you will have had a successful businessman for a son.

There are plenty of viable businesses that move their operations overseas for tax benefits. You need to leave this part of the equation out. He's not doing anything that is much different from other businesses.

Many people dream of retiring in their earlier years and go out and having a good time. You can hate his lifestyle all you want. He may be a terrible husband. He may never be a good dad. But there are plenty of people in this world who aren't good at either.

Keep working with your son to instill good morals. Encourage his education. He'll figure it out.

A sixteen year old does not have to be friends with his 32 year old uncle-he just has to be civil when he comes over to your house or at other family events.

Well the chances of being that successful that early in life are pretty probably pretty slim. Obviously it takes a lot of money to finance that kind of life style. Let's hope that your son is that successful😊
Really, don't worry about something that hasn't even happened.

Let him live his life, and keep your judgments to yourself and don't share them with him. It won't do any good to say something to him anyway.

However, you are obviously (and probably rightly) concerned about how this appears to your son. You don't say how old your son is. For right now, explain the basics, of how he did work hard to get what he has now.

If your son is older and can understand, say that you are concerned with the way he's living now, because while it's okay to have a lot of fun, and he has money to spend that he has worked hard to earn, it's not okay to treat people poorly (I'm not sure how you explain womanizing to a grade school kid, so maybe don't try explaining that till he's older). And that while having stuff is fun, if that is the whole focus of his life, his life is going to be empty of real friends, because the people he hangs out with don't care about him, only the stuff he can get and give to them. And that it's hard to see that when you're surrounded by "stuff."

A.,

Your job is to parent your child and teach him morals and values that you hope he will choose to follow. The best you can do is have open conversations with your son about the way his uncle chooses to live his life and the ways in which you feel has made some good choices and the ways in which you feel has made some not so good choices. It is up to your son to decide how to live his life.

It is up to your husband's brother to live his life however he chooses without having to hear about your judgment of him. Keep all of this to yourself. How would you feel if he judged you for the way you choose to live your life. It is clearly quite different from the way he lives his, so I'm sure there are things you do that he thinks is dumb/stupid/fill in adjective here and wouldn't choose for himself.

Parent your child and guide him appropriately and if he's still young, make sure you're always with him when visiting with his uncle so you can run interference. And for heaven's sake, stop asking the uncle to watch your friend's children - that's just asking for trouble. He's single, with no children - he has no business watching anyone's child let alone kid's who belong to your friend.

If you don't approve of how your BIL lives his life, then he should never have had any contact with your son.
Now that your son is 16, he's almost an adult.
You have legal control of him for a few more years.
After that - if his uncle wants him around, there's no stopping your son from being with him if that's where he wants to be.

I'm experiencing deja vu, like I have read this before. Anybody else recollect this post?