Bad Influences in Preschool?

My son has picked up some words and behavior that I don't care for at times (from preschool). When he does those things, I explain that they are bad manners or things we don't say or do. If he says that so-and-so does those things, I just be consistent and repeat why we don't do it. If he still does those things, I warn him and then follow through with the time out/or taking a favorite toy away. I try to be very consistent so he knows what to expect when he does those things. That seems to work for us.

Yah, at this age, and if in preschool as well, it happens.
Your boy is having fun... and he's picking up things from the playground... my friend's son is that way too... he feeds off of the atmosphere of the other "wild" kids. Once they start school, this can happen.

What we did with our kids.... even when younger than 3, is we taught them people skills. Meaning, teaching them how to "discern" people's characters.... by their actions/voice/expressions etc. And how to make wise choices. For instance: if we were at a playground and there was a boy who was bossy-ing the other kids and being mean.... I would ask my kids "What do you think about how he is acting?- is it nice, or mean? Do you think he is nice....? Then I would let my kids respond and tell me their thoughts. Mostly they would say "boy is mean." And I would say "Why?" then they would say "he is bossy... and not letting the kids play on the slide..." I would say "Is that someone you would want as a friend? or not?"... and they would think and say "no. He is mean." Then I would say "What if he was mean to you?" Then they would say "I would tell him stop... then play somewhere else and tell you... or tell his Mommy..."
The point being.. talking it out, walking them through the process of "evaluating" and "discerning" kids/people who are just troublemakers or not. And thereby helping them to discern who to befriend.
For my daughter, it has served her very well. She is very articulate and keen in judging situations and character of people... more so than some adults. She can navigate herself and literally "chooses" friends very well. She can "read" people and is often correct. My son, is only 3, but he is developing this "skill" too. It is teaching them, HOW to evaluate... not just letting them choose unwisely... giving them the aptitude and skills to do so, as well. Because, yes, to a certain extent, we CAN "choose" their friends... by teaching them how to ascertain things. In time. So that they can develop best judgment.

But kids are kids.. .and yes, they might like a kid that we can't stand or feel they are a bad influence. So again, teaching them how to evaluate & discern people/situations is really helpful, in the future.

But my son, who is 3... also loves "yucky" jokes too... he just thinks its funny... but I know its a phase and he's a boy, and he likes to get a rise out of his sister. It will pass.

But teach him boundaries... 3 is a naturally hard age. 2 years old is nothing, compared to the 3's.

Good luck,
Susan

you have to teach him what is right and wrong. if he uses potty talk .. put him in the bathroom.. i told my kids that he has to use potty talk only in the bathroom.. talk to him ... tell him no when its no. talk to him about being so wild.... sit him in time out..

I agree with so many of the previous posters -- I think it happens to all children when they enter school. I was shocked to see my 3 yr old come home one day with a hands-on-hips "attitude," but it seems to come from her classmates with older siblings. There's not too much to do but smile through it and teach your child your expectations. I like to think that it's a positive that it's happening at such an early age, when we have so much more influence over our kids. (I can't even imagine what it will be like when they become pre-teens!) Good luck Mama!

It might be because of the other kids, but it might just be the age. We're fighting an uphill battle with the potty humor with our almost 5 year old (not at all wild) daughter. There's a reason Freud called this the anal stage. I would just pick a discipline method that has worked for you and really stick with it (our daughter ends up in the naughty spot), being really clear what new behaviors are unacceptable. You can always remove him from a non-school situation as well (like playdates.) He'll learn.

Hello. I posted a similiar question last year and got tons of responses about having my son check for ADD, and stuff. That I needed to be stricter with him. I had to stop reading them, lol, made me mad :) Anyway, my son was 3 1/2 when I posted it. He was such a sweet boy, but at the parent teacher conf they said "he has a hard time keeping his hands to himself". He was always bumping the other boys and they back to him. Just boy rough house playing. There were 4 boys in the class that if put together, the teachers had a hard time getting them to calm down. After the responses I got on here, I thought he was doomed (being sarcastic a bit here).

I just continued to keep on him. Explained that the teachers need to have the kids listen and not rough house so they can make him so smart. I enforced the rules on the first pass, instead of cutting him some slack. I also put a new rule in for the potty talk (which by the way they think is funny, really what boy doesn't think the word 'poop' is funny). Nevertheless I wanted him to stop using the word so I would give him "sassy juice". Got this from my friend. When they say a bad word, put a bit of vinegar on their tongue. Perfectly harmless, vinegar is good for you actually. I'd put a 1/2 teaspoon full in his mouth over the tub and he'd spit it out right away. He only needed it 3 times :) Problem solved.

So this year, not one problem. His teachers are both mothers of boys and have much more patience. They keep the boys from sitting next to each other in small group. They've matured and play pretty well when they have free time. I was beeming with pride at the parent teacher conferences this year. So don't panic. Just stay on him. Keep explaining why. They grow up fast and mature fast. It's hard trying to figure all the social stuff out as well.

Another example, in soccer this fall. My child was never paying attention. Him and the other boys would knock each other over. Made me nuts, I was so embarrassed. I noticed the moms that also had older boys did not even flinch at the behavior. My son did winter soccer, just 5 months later. He is so focues and well behaved. A few months can make a world of difference at this age. I now see why those other moms were'nt worried. They knew it was just what the little boys do :) They can be wild, but keep their hearts sweet and they'll be fine. They mature, lol, heck how many men do you know that have social behavior figured out :)

My daughter chose to emulate a little girl who has bigger sisters. She came home saying things to me that I didn't care for usually when she wasn't getting her way. things like, "whatever" or "was I talking to you?" We had to have several serious talks about being appropriate and so far it has helped, but yes you can't shield them! 8)

This happens to most boys when they are under the influence of others. In nature animals run in packs. So do children when they are at school.

You need to start your "absolutes" now. I call them that because there are certain behaviors that are absolutely not tolerated in our home. One of those is talking back. The other is wrestling and running in the house (he, my son is 4- is figuring it out). What he is allowed to get away with can get out of hand if you aren't consistent. I am sure that it is the same way at school.

Another thing that you can do in addition is limit his carbohydrates and sugars. I use to think that it was stupid to tell a mother to limit carbs but now I am a believer. My children behave better and are generally happier when their diet is protein, veggie and fruit based. Don't get me wrong, carbs are acceptable but they are only given with a protein. I am sure you are thinking this woman is crazy but, give it a shot. My son is proof that it can change your willingness to listen.

Best of luck,
D. (mom of 4 under 4)

Unfortunately.....yes. My daughter started preschool in the fall at 3 and is loving it. One of the selling points of the school was the children. When I toured it they were all very nice and polite to me, my daughter, the teachers and each other. However, kids act differently from one another and parents raise their kids differently. Therefore, something that may not bother one parent may bother you. Same in my situation. Although all the kids in her class are extremely sweet and well- behaved she has come home saying or doing things I don't appreciate. The way I look at it is I am learning how to discipline her, correct her behavior, teach her what is not appropriate, etc so I can handle the larger situations that arise when she is a middle schooler or teenager. I don't like it either, but short of keeping them away from all other kids 24/ 7 there is no way to shield them from other kids behavior. :-)