Baby Won't Sleep Without Someone Holding Her

Hi A.,

I would say that 2.5 months baby is too young to do that on purpose, and too young for the cry-it-out method.

However, I want to add, that my daughter started doing that when she was 6 months old, and definitely started doing that on purpose, and I could tell that. As soon as I put her down, she would start screaming like crazy, and it was a different kind of cry than I normally get from her. So after that lasted for 3 times in a row, I fugured out what she is doing. So one night I just put her to bed, and left, and she was crying for 22 minutes before she fell asleep. The next night - 12 minutes. The next one - about 5 minutes. After that she stopped doing it.
My daughter started doing that in the first place after she got sick, and she was really cranky, and we would hold her all the time. So, after she got better, she probably still thought we would hold her all the time, and that's when it started.

For a baby to start doing that at 2 months sounds weird. But I would try to just pur her in the crib and let her fall asleep on her own for a couple of times, and see what happens.

I have an 18 month old that still wants to be rocked a little before sleeping....I don't mind because I know it won't last forever. He did have a time that he did not want to be layed down AT ALL. He went to bed at his normal time (7:30) then 2 hours later woke up screaming his head off. He would fall asleep fine but would wake up every time we tried to lay him down. For him this was really unusual. At first I thought he just wanted to be held all night. We took him to the doctor the next day and found out that he had really bad ear infections in both ears. I guess because the ears are really not developed fully yet, it is annoying to be laying flat. We had to prop up one end of his matress for a week so he could be comfortable. If your daughter has symptoms like this, maybe it wouldn't hurt having her looked at.

Don't worry about it! My baby was like that until about 4 months and she has gradualy decreased her cute clingyness with time. Sometimes she will revert to her newborn days but that is when she is really tired or when she had an ear infection. I think it is hard for them because they are getting use to the world outside and being seperated from their Mom and that it is a process. Also, before you know it she will be a todler that is to busy to snuggle with Mom so enjoy these times (at least that is what I try to think when my 8 8month old baby is more needy.

At 2 months you're supposed to start putting them down when they are drowsy.

At 4 months you put them down when they are awake, but it is their bedtime.

Just try to ease her into it. Take one nap that you would normally hold her and try to put her down. When you get that conquered, try for 2 naps on her own.

Another thing that I thought worked well was to lay down beside her instead of hold her. It worked good as a transition between being held, and putting her down on her own.

It will get easier, because as she gets older, you will learn how to read her better. For instance, I know my daughter likes to look at her mobile in the crib, have the pacifier and a blanket by her face.. and she likes it dark and quiet in the room.
If one of those things is missing, she won't go to sleep.

Keep trying different comfort things to see what helps her.

Also.. you can hold her until she's almost asleep.. lay her down, wait 5 minutes, pick her up and get her to almost fall asleep and lay her down again.. and just keep doing it until your exhausted, or she gives up and goes to sleep. Eventually she'll just go to sleep because she's learning how to self soothe when you do this.

Hi A.,
Enjoy holding your precious baby girl while you can...all too soon she will be pushing you away as she becomes more independent...I speak from experience, my daughter is 18 months old and never seems to want to be held anymore.
That being said, Grace was the same way when she was an infant: as soon as I lay her down in her crib, she would wake up. Her doctor told me that infants don't really like to sleep on their backs because they feel like they are falling. What I ended up doing was putting her in her infant seat in her room after she had fallen asleep. That way I knew she was safe and I could get things done (or have a nap myself).
Hope this helps.....M.

My son was like this. He eventually was able to nap on his own (5 or 6 months). I wound up taking a lot of naps and/or reading books as he napped. It was hard for me in some ways (naptime was a time for me to get things "done") but, on the other hand, I felt like cuddling is such a basic need in babies, I decided not to fight it. I carried him in a sling, too, which he could sleep in while I moved around. He is 3 now and is still a very cuddly, affectionate child. His need for cuddling and affection comes and goes, but it's never been a problem. We also rocked him to sleep for quite a long time, though he mostly goes to sleep on his own now (after reading, singing, and cuddling).

get a baby carrier....

when they get older you can put them on your back and wash dishes, cook supper, whatever and they are content. :)

Hi A.. My suggestion...get her in her crib ASAP! I wish I had from the beginning because I have 7 month old that still has the same problem! Believe me, you do not want to be dealing with this 5 months from now. We are currently in the process of getting him in his crib and it is a terrible ordeal. He cries for about two hours until he falls asleep. The worst part is that he can sit up now so he sits in his bed crying. I wish I had got him in his crib when he couldn't sit up. I love cuddling and sleeping with my baby, but every doctor that I have seen has pretty much insisted that this is what I need to do. I have also noticed that he sleeps much better on his own. Does that help? Let me know if you have any questions.

You need to put her to bed and let her cry herself to sleep, so she learns. It will be tough on you the first couple of times until she learns.

A.,

My baby is also 2 1/2 mos old! She has times like this too. As far as weaning her from it... it depends on who you ask... the old schoolers will tell you she is spoiled but Baby Center or even your Pediatrician will tell you a baby can not be spoiled before they are 4 mos old. The logic I have read says that there is a "fourth trimester" and new born babies are not necissarily mentally ready to be away from their mother. I have found that putting my daughter in a infant carrier (I suggest the Ultimate Baby Wrap) so you can get something done. I have let her in her swing to cry while I try to load the dish washer (5-10 min) sometimes she cries herself to sleep other times I have to go hold her, just depends. But I wouldn't let anyone tell you she is spoiled or that you are spoiling her before at least 4 mos. My hubby had a hell of a time with our Daughter during the day while I was gone until he just surrendered to this idea. Hope this helps.

M.

I had this same problem and we got her to sleep on her own by putting my t-shirt on her bed and laying her on top of it. Make sure the tshirt is something you have worn recently so it has your smell on it and make sure it's warm otherwise it might not work. Hope that helps.

That must be really frustrating. All of my children were fussy sleepers until I was so tired I swaddled them, and rolled them onto their stomaches.
Have you tried putting her in a swing on low? My oldest loved that.
Also, do you have a pack n play? Some of those have an addition to use when they are younger and they are motorized so they vibrate, which can be very soothing.
Otherwise, just try putting her down. Let her get used to laying instead of being cuddled. The more you lay her down, the easier it will be as it becomes part of her routine. Hope this helps

My son was like this for awhile, and he just grew out of it. I could get him to nap in the swing sometimes, but a lot of the time I just put him in the maya wrap sling (www.mayawrap.com --I still love mine w/ a 14-month-old) in order to get some things done. I'd also just use it as an excuse to nap with him! The more love you give your child, the more secure they become, and the better they feel about the big scary world when they get older. I know it's rough, but enjoy it! My son is so busy now that it's hard to get any cuddle time in! Good luck!!!

It looks like you've got plenty of responses to this, but my baby was the same way. Everyone kept telling me that I have to break the habit of holding her all the time, but it got better on it's own. She is almost 5 months own now, and she sleeps on her own all the time. She just grew out of needing to be held all the time.

Hi A. my name is A. too! My son is 20 months and he is still that way sometimes. He's better at doing it on his own at night but during naps he wants me to hold him and stroke his hair. It is annoying so I completely understand your frustration. I would recommend to try and get her used to falling asleep on her own early. I tried but I hated to hear him cry so I always picked him back up. Now I have an almost 2-year old still needing me for everything. All kids are different though so she just might change within the next month or so. Good luck.

My 2 1/2 year old son was the same way. I finally have him napping by him self but he hates his bed so he sleeps on the couch. At first I liked to just hold him but then he wouldn't sleep for anyone else. He would not sleep at night at all when he was a baby. I think it started in the hospital though. I didn't put him down except to change diapers for the first 15 hours. Start doing something now. My 9 month old was like that for a while too. we started by trying to swaddle him. Even at 2 1/2 months. then when he was good and asleep I would lay him down. I would stand there for a few min. with my hands on his belly or sides so he could still feel me. then I would walk away. When he would fuss I would just put my hands back or make sure he had his nuk. It took a few days but with a 2 year old that needed me too I couldn't make lunch and change pants holding the baby. Good luck!

I have a five month old and she is the same way. I may sound "hippie" to a lot of people, but if that is what your baby needs, do it. I don't like to force her to sleep by herself just to make my life easier. I believe that it will pay off when she is older to have a healthy association with sleep and not be scared because she was forced to cry herself to sleep. I promise she won't need you to rock her to sleep when she is 10!! She will grow out of it and sleep on her own. Babies don't want to be cuddled forever, so take advantage now!!

I have gone threw this myself. I have 5 children and I went threw it with more then 1. My suggestion is to try and wrap a t-shirt you have worn around her with a recieving blanket, burrito style. She will then be able to smell you. Which is how she recognized you from the moment she was born. This seems to calm them.It gives them a sense that you are still holding them. Give it a try,you could also lay the t-shirt down and lay her on top, as they suggest on thier back.This worked for me to.
T.

My son is almost 5 months old. I used to never be able to put him down for naps, but he slept fine in his crib at night. It was partly my fault because I just LOVED holding him while he slept. Eventually, I had to get other things done around the house. I started trying to put him in his crib. Then he would cry. Then I would hold him until he fell asleep again. Then he would cry. It took a lot of persistence and time, but I had that since I was on maternity leave. He now takes naps in his crib most of the time. I guess it just takes a lot of trying new things and being patient with her.

I would try the cry it out method it's hard but better now than 6mos. from now.

my 10 month old son is the same way. My 2 other sons were the same way, the first son was sleeping on his own by 1yr, but the second son is just getting over that and he is 2 1/2. now if I could only get him from wanted to play with my hair to go to sleep. So as to your question, enjoy it as long as you can, cuz someday they will not want to cuddle and you will

Hi A.,
I had the same proplem with my son who is now six months. for the longest time i had rocked him to sleep for his naps and if i was not home my boyfriend had a hard time getting him to sleep for his naps. At some point you need to start to wean you and your baby from this. have you tried sleeping with her in your bed for a nap, i know that people dont like parent to do this but maybe if you are still next to her she will still sleep. otherwise what we did with my son is i would start to rock him then put him into bed and let him cry it out. it was hard at first but after a week or so he now takes his nap with no help from me. we just put him in his bed and he might make a wimper for a second or so but falls right to sleep. i know that some parents dont like the cry out method but it worked wonders for us.:) i hope this helps good luck

i used to sleep with my son even during his naps when he was still that young.. once i started him on his crib he however luckily didnt give me any problems... i had a friend though with the same problem you are having! she never did work on getting her child to sleep on his own.. he is now 4 and she still has to lay down with him in order for him to go to sleep... i dont think u want to do that though! if you are ok with this habbit of hers then by all means go for it, of course sooner or later you will want to break her of this habbit and its easier to break sooner rather then later.. you may just have to let her cry herself to sleep.. i know its hard to listen to and can break your heart, but just keep in mind that its whats best.. she will eventually get used to it and all will be well again :)

This is a very common problem. You will reach a point when you just can't stand it anymore and put a stop to it. Mine was 3 months and I had to go back to work. I put the baby in his crib and sat there with him with my hand on him until he fell asleep. He cried for maybe 30 minutes and was okay. I wouldn't leave the baby alone and let it cry at this age. I think maybe it was 3 rough nights of not a lot of sleep because he would wake up more without me holding him. Deffinatly remedy this soon because you will feel oh so much better not holding your baby ALL the time.

A.,

It gets easier. I have a 6mo old son, who did the same thing. He wouldn't sleep unless I held him. So, I started activities I could do while he was asleep in my arms to help pass the time. It gets better. Try the swing, but not when she is just going down for a nap, maybe before hand when she is in a good mood. It just might put her to sleep. Logan ended up sleeping only in his swing for awhile. He is back to me, but only to fall alseep. Once he falls asleep I can put him in his crib and he sleeps just fine. He rolls over now, so he sleeps on his tummy. But these ladies are right. Enjoy it while it lasts. Once she becomes active, she won't want you to hang on to her anymore, and you'll miss the times she wanted to cuddle.
Good luck in whatever you do.
M.

I read your other responses, and 2.5 months is too young to cry it out! Most likely she will grow out of it as long as you don't spoil her too much. I have a friend with an 8 month old that is trying to break this habit. At 2.5 months my daughter would not let me put her down either. She would only nap in her swing. At night we would put her in her car seat in her crib. That was the only way she would sleep, I put the car seat in the crib for the routine. I highly recommend the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." By Dr. Marc Weisbluth. It's a lifesaver, read it now so you can plan ahead. She won't be on a real schedule for a little while yet. Good luck! And, like the other moms said, enjoy the cuddle time!

R.

it is a habit that babys get from there parents or someone else holding them to much then they think they need you all the time.... its noones fault sometimes we dont notice we do it. start now before its to late. choose a swing or bouncer and when she is not sleeping and happy let her have some personal space she may or maynot fall asleep. if she has a binky that she is not dependent on that would be a good thing too. she should eventually fall asleep and then if that works lay her down for naps in her crib before she is asleep and eventually that should work .. i even had to let my little one sleep in her bouncer a few nights.

I have to say I am almost jealous!! My daughter was completely the opposite. From the day she was born she would let me hold her while she was awake but she would cry to be put down and as soon as you laid her down she would fall right asleep!! I sometimes wanted to rock her or cuddle her and she would not have it! My best friends new baby does not want to be put down like your little one. She usually always cries when put down especially to ride in the car. I had to take her somewhere so I put her in her car seat and put a light blanket over the top and rocked her a bit and she fell right asleep and slept the whole trip! I did the same thing to put my son to sleep when he was still in the infant carrier.

Speaking as a mom, hold her as long as you can. Speaking as a child care provider, if you must go back to work wean her before you bring her to child care. Unless you can afford a nanny, your child care provider will not be able to hold your baby all the time.

A.,
You will want to wean her from that. My daughter is now 4 and she still wants to be held or close to someone when she goes to bed. That is my fault cuz I did the same as you are doing when she was young. I wish now that I would have just laid her down and allowed her to fall asleep. My nephew is 1 year old and since he was born my sister in law would give him a bath at 7 and then lay him in his crib. He would play for a while and fall asleep on his own with out fussing. When I have the next one that will be my plan.
Good Luck!!