Baby Too Young to Be Weaning Himself?

My baby was 4 months old and weaned herself from breast feeding. I kept trying but she would fuss everytime. I slowly let it go and she was always happy with the bottle. She seems to be the one that weans herself off things. Right now she is weaning away from the bottle. She stopped sucking her thumb months ago. I would say it is up to the baby on what they want to do. I would say keep trying or slowly let go.

Its not too early for self-weaning... I have friends whose babies self-weaned at 8 and 9 months. Don't force him but do keep up the sleepy feedings for the closeness and for you. Hope it goes well~

Hi L. -

My daughter did the same thing at about 8 months. She wasn't interested any more and I tried everything - nursing somewhere away from anything going on, putting her under a blanket, etc. I started pumping thinking maybe she needed more and finally after talking to a lactation consultant, I was assured that some children do wean themselves. It was definently difficult since I hadn't decided when I was going to stop nursing, but I wanted to decide that, not her! But in the end I realized that was what she needed/wanted. Funny thing, at about 11 months, she decided she wasn't intersted in the bottle - made transitioning to a sippy cup much easier. Hang in there and know that no matter how you are feeding your child, you are doing the best thing for him - and don't let anyone tell you different! ;)

hi--my son self-weaned at 8 months all of a sudden. Everyone told me that babies don't do this before 12 months and suggested numerous ways to urge him back on (change location of nursing, pretend to nurse a doll, nurse him in the bath, etc.) but nothing worked. I tried for a couple weeks and then just accepted it. I pumped for as long as I could and finally had to switch to formula. Initially, it was very emotional for me and I mourned the loss of the connection. Eventually, however, we replaced nursing with cuddling and dancing before his naps. When he did nurse, he loved it and we had no problems so it seems like it was just his time to stop. I'd try all the suggestions but don't drive yourself crazy over it. Nursing for as long as you have has provided your son with numerous lifetime benefits. He may just be going through a phase but if if he is truly done, both of you will endure! good luck!

I have 5 children and I have nursed all of them. My youngest is 18 mths old. Here are a few suggestions: I would check your son for teeth coming in, my babies all got a little fussy on the breast if their gums were swollen, red or if teeth were actually coming in. Another possibility, is your son congested with a cold ect (ear infection).. since nursing uses more muscles in the face and neck, this might account for his not nursing as much. The other idea I have is at that age some babies are becoming very mobile and and are interested in exploring their environment. They still want the assurance that mom is close by, but they are also testing their independence. This is where patience comes in with nursing. My babies would sometimes act like they wanted to nurse, nurse for 30 seconds and then pull away when they heard a noise or other distraction. I would let them down and then 5 minutes later they would want to nurse again.... It can get frustrating especially since before they would nurse eagerly and all at one session. If you want to continue nursing and are worried about your milk suppy, I would suggest to pump and save your milk. This will keep your supply up at an adequate level... until he resumes interest. If you have ruled out any illness or teething- it could be he is just ready to wean down to less feedings per day. This would be a good time to give him a sippy cup/cup at meals with whole milk to practice with. And still nurse him when he shows interest.
I had to wean my 3rd child early at 10 mths because I was pregant with my 4th. That is what I did with him. It was much easier than putting him on a bottle and then later having to wean him from that.
I wish you the best of luck and something to keep in mind is that all kids have different nursing personalities. A couple of mine did not want to stop nursing (my 18th old girl still does 2x day)and I will have to decide when to end it and others gradually weaned themselves between 13-18 mths old.

Could you be pregnant? I was nursing my oldest son same as you wanted to nurse until one year old and one day he just stopped nursing , doing the same things that you are decribing and a couple weeks later found out that i was pregnant. My doctor told me that the hormones that a pregnant woman produces while pregnant make your milk taste not so good and then causing you to lose your milk... But my youngest son weaned himself at 7 months... It was hard for me when my oldest stopped nursing, i felt that i was failing as a mother, but soon found out, that it is just another great step of motherhood... Good Luck:)

My daughter did this a couple of times - she'd only nurse a few times for a day or two and I'd have to pump - but then she'd always go back. Someone else suggested looking up "nursing strike."

My son is 7 months old and has done this before, and with him, it is entirely his personality. After a week or two (sometimes even just a few days) he decides he wants to nurse again and doesn't want anything else. All I can say is to hang in there, it might just be a phase. Keep pumping to keep your milk up!

My first weaned himself at 9 months. Went straight to a sippy cup and was very happy. I liked the freedom. My other two I thought would never wean! Try some snuggle time if you can get him to sit still long enogh for your emotional wellbeing. But I think that once you get used to it you will enjoy the freedom that comes with having your body back and so will your partner!

My sister-in-law's baby refused to nurse at age 3 months! She tried everthing, but he would just throw a huge fit every time she tried. I think there will be some sadness no matter what age you wean them-it is a special bond that I don't want to let go of. (I have five kids and nursed them all) Try to look at the positive side of it--no more nursing pads, leaking milk, you can leave him for longer periods at a time without pumping, hubby can help with feeding and experience the bond too(if he is interested) Follow the baby's lead and enjoy what you can!

I believe you hit nail on the head. Your child is telling you he is ready to go to a bottle. You need to let it happen. It will be hard for you but remember it is about your son growing not about you at this point. He needs you to be there for him and he is telling you he wants to move on. We have 5 children ( ages 20 down to 5)All of them were a little different about breast feeding. You are right to notice the change in his behavior. Remember it is about the times you have with him that are important so as a parent we have to make it about what they want and except the fact they will not be babies forever. I hope this helps. Just remember babies know what they want, they just have to find ways to communicate to us and we have to be able to recognize the signs

Toni

Mom: Don't see this as a time of loosing your baby. It is something that happens to all of us. Our kids grow up and it starts the minute they are born. Don't think you can't hold and cuddle your sweet one. Nurse when he wants and other times just hold him. Find new ways to be close. See it as a time to explore his "personhood" Find a way to make games of being close. Nursing isn't the only way. Also if you take time to be close in other wasy it will wean you too and you can be mom and son but in new and exciting ways. I couldn't nurse after the first 2 months after my babies were born because I lost my milk. Just a natural thing with me. But we had all kinds of fun hugging and playing together and growing.

I have a daughter who is exactly the opposite, but I've read that sometimes babies don't want to nurse when they are teething. I'd poke around those gums a bit to see if that may be the culprit. If he continues to nurse some, when he increases his nursing again, you should regain your milk supply.

Take advantage as later it is a lot harder. He really doesn't need the breast milk for nutrition right now (I know La Leche disagrees), however he doesn't. It is good he is getting independent, relish it! I have a friend really having a hard time trying to wean her 2 year old that is totally addicted to nursing! Give him a bottle, sippy cup of formula. If you really want him to have breast milk then pump and put it in the cups. Great time to teach him to transition! Be happy about it!

The Sears' talk about weaning versus nursing strikes. Nursing strikes tend to be more sudden- like what you described. If you can pump in these days to keep your milk going and perhaps you can try to slip him the breast while he is falling asleep. Hopefully it is just a strike and not weaning.

BTW, How is your diet? I feel that babes will wean early if the mom is not eating enough and they are not getting enough nutrients. Nursing moms should be getting 3 hearty meals a day plus 2 smaller ones/snacks. Eat lots of organic, whole foods (whole grains, meats, veggies,etc). Good luck!
C.

Dear L.,
You are not alone in not wanting to stop breastfeeding! Most of us that have breastfed understand how you feel.

Some things you may look at: Have you changed anything lately like...shampoo, conditioner, laundry detergent, soap, your diet? Really look closely to see if there has been any changes that you may not think are important. My friend changed her hair conditioner and her daughter would have nothing to do with her.

Also, in regards to you diet. Are you dieting? Are you adding caffeine, chocolate, garlic etc?

Hormones do change your milk and it tastes different as your baby gets older. Is it possible that you are pregnant?
I remember my oldest son becoming disinterested and he weaned himself about 12 months. I was then about 3 months pregnant with his little brother(who is 21 yrs old and 6'7" now!)

Also look at what your little boy is doing. Is he paying more attention elsewhere? Sometimes they just get so busy with playing and other interests- especially food -that nursing may not interest them as much. Try to moderate his food intake slightly and see what happens.

Don't worry too much about your milk. Eat very well, drink a lot of water still and realize that nursing is a "supply and demand relationship". If he wants more, you will probably be able to produce more again.

If he weans, then be grateful that you have been able to nurse him so long. Start reading books to him (if you haven't already). It will help with cuddle time for you and him!
Best Wishes,
H. B. MOM (mother of many-9)

Sounds like a lot of good advice here :)

If it makes you feel better, the good effects of breastfeeding are obtained with even just 1 feeding a day, and your antibodies will keep protecting him for up the 6 months after you stop breastfeeding.

There is a great book to read that talks about this. The book is called, The womanly art of breastfeeding. In the book it talks about how we might think the baby is weaning himself but really it is a nursing strike. Maybe look up nursing strike online. Good luck!

Sounds like a nursing strike since it happened so suddenly like that - contact a local La Leche leader (www.llli.org) to find out what you can do and how long to expect it to last. I want to say 3-5 days, and you have to pump, but don't know for sure.

Two of my kids weaned themselves around 10 or 11 months. Could it be that your milk supply diminished before he started this? I personally just went with it and stopped nursing. I even started them on a little bit of cows milk, warmed up (after talking to my pediatrician about it) You just have to be careful and watch for allergies. I know it's hard for you emotionally, I went through that as well. Sometimes babies just know what they want and we can't force them to do what we want. Good luck!

my son stoped nursing at 10 months too one day he didn't want it anymore i was not ready for that i spent a few 3 or 4 days crying about it but he was fine. my only suggestion is don't give the bottle he is old enough to have a soft spout cup it is much easer than trying to get him off the bottle in a few months anyway. hope this helps some.

You've got a lot of great responses. My son wouldn't nurse if I had eaten any salsa. I tried it several times and he was consistent. I guess it flavored the milk. who knew? There are many possiblities, teething, interest in other things, introducing a bottle (its easier to get milk from a bottle), sickness, etc.

Trust your instincts.

Hi L.,

Your baby could be dealing with teething, or if you are feeding more jar foods he may not want to nurse as much. You could try nursing before meals to keep your milk. Don't worry, your milk will adjust to what your baby needs. Keep offering your milk. Babies don't know what's best for them, and that's your milk. Remember, throughout history, there were no such things as bottles or feeding aids. You breastfed and that was it. Babies go through these little times and there's usually
something physical. You should see www.lalecheleague.org for any and all questions having to do with breastfeeding. They have been helping women with breastfeeding and supplying ample research in support of breastfeeding for many years. Helped me a great deal with my son, now a healthy, happy 20 month old.

M.

The same thing just happened with my then 9 month old. She was nursing fine 2-3 times a day, then she stopped doing it at night, she would push away and cry until I put my shirt back down. Then she started doing the same thing during the day and finally one morning she wasn't interested. This only took about 2 weeks to go from loving it to hating it. I wasn't ready to quit either but I also didn't want to force it on her then take it away a couple of months later. I was a little sad when she stopped but it has also been freeing, I can go skiing and not bring a pump! She has transitioned just fine, I don't feel that it will emotionally scar her for lifeif she quit breastfeeding at 9 mos. instead of 12.

Hope this helps.

Every Baby is different. If you are worried it is a phase you can pump to keep your milk supply going. My 2 year old went down to only wanting to nurse at night when she was around that age and she was very attached to it then. I think most babies will do that. Either it will be the morning or the night feeding, and that is pretty much it. You can also use the milk you pump to mix in with their cereal to be able to keep them getting the nutrients from your milk. They just start getting too curious about things at that age. I wouldn't worry too much. I have a 2 year old and a 3 1/2 month old.

I was planning on nursing my first for at least a year and a half, as long as he wanted to. But he suddenly got it in his head that he was too grown up for nursing and bottles, and demanded a sippy cup. There was nothing I could do! The hardest part was that he instantly got sick a lot more, because he didn't have my antibodies anymore. I wish I had pumped for a while, but I didn't even think about that. I just bought some formula for two months, then switched to whole milk on his birthday.
Although I was a little bit sad about it, my online friends who had trouble weaning their babies made me think that it really was a blessing in disguise!

I had the same experience with my oldest at about the same age. I had to go away for 2 nights and when I came back she had no interest. I won't kid you, it broke my heart a little, I wanted to go a year. If you really want to keep it going, I would suggest contacting the hospital lactation specialist or the La leche league for advice. This is free and they even make house calls sometimes. I wish I had tried this with mine. I just had baby number 3 and when I talked to the hospital specialist about my experience before she assured me not to hesitate to call this time if I need them.

You might want to consider a pregnacy test. I know that may sound crazy but as a baby I also weaned myself very early and the reason was that my mom was pregnant and didn't know it. (She was still having regular periods and on birth control) But it won't hurt him to stop nursing and it may just be a phase that is short lived. But don't worry about it that's all!

I don't think he is too young to ween himself. My 17 month old little boy did about the same thing. They say to wait for cow's milk until a year old, but you could supplement with formula for a few months. That's what I did. Take advantage of the times he will still nurse if you aren't quite ready to be done. Or you could pump. That way he is still getting breast milk, and you're not loosing too much milk, if he were to change his mind. But you can also have that quite bonding time with your son even if it's a bottle he's drinking from.

Hi

My son weaned himself at 9 months...all of a sudden he decided he didn't want to nurse anymore. He bit me when I offered and then did that again and again. So that was it. For me it was good timing because a month later I went away and left him with his gramma for 6 days and really pumping would have been difficult. He was ready, but he lost a few rolls on his fat little arms and legs!

A.

First, he isn't completely weaning himself he is still nursing morning and night.

Secondly, it is not unusual at this age to begin cutting down on the number of times a day you nurse. If he no longer wants to nurse throughout the day, allow him to nurse morning and night only. If you continue to pressure him to nurse other times, he may begin fighting you altogether.

Thirdly, being a first time mom remember--just because we plan that something will happen in a certain time frame does not mean our child's body or mind will agree with that time frame. It applies to all kids of things like when they talk, walk, read, ride a bike, swim---and yes-even wean themselves.

I don't think it is too young. My first son was ready to stop nursing at 9 months. Just put him on formula if you haven't already until he is at least a year old. As mothers it is always harder for us to let go of that special time than it is for our kids, but that is what makes us love them so much!

My son weaned himself at 6 months old. It about broke my heart. He would pull away just as you described. I tried and tried and he would just cry. I kept pumping but he didn't want to feed no matter what I would do, so I just decided it was time to stop. This about killed me, I think I went through my postpartum depression at this time. Because he was my last child and I missed the bonding. But of course they say 1 day of breastfeeding is better than none!

And I breastfed my daughter until she was 18 months old and never had any problems with her weaning herself.

I would suggest you continue to try for awhile to see if it just a phase and if he doesn't want to feed, then move on to other ways of bonding!

A little about myself: SAHM with a 5 yr old daughter and a 2 3/4 old son! I am self employed and work from home!

First I would ask the question, what is he eating during the day? Weaning just means changing, he doesn't need to nurse if he's eating something else. If you're really not ready for him to be done then you need to breastfeed exclusively. If you think your son loves the other food he's getting then try to only give him tastes of those foods, don't let him fill up. Also you could just replace one nursing session with a different meal and then nurse the rest of the day. Your son won't starve himself but it might be hard to switch back to nursing if he's been "eating" for awhile. I have nursed all three of my kids (still nursing my 5mo old) and I completely understand the attachment. My oldest stopped around 22mos and the next at 16mos. They're all different and I've learned there are two things you can't make a person (big or small) do : eat and sleep. You've already given your son the best start in life by nursing and if you follow your baby's cues and your intuition then you'll both be ready for whatever happens next. Good Luck!

I sure know how you feel! I had exactly the same experience with my oldest daughter, and I also was sad and not ready to stop breastfeeding. I just enjoyed it when she wanted to nurse, and pumped as much as I could in an attempt to keep up my milk production. She was more than happy to drink it from a bottle, but I did have to supplement with formula. If it is just a phase, maybe you could keep up your milk production better with pumping. And remember the fact that he's gotten 10 months of breastmilk is great! Good luck!

Both my kids weaned themselves, one at about a year and the second, like yours, at about 10-11 mo. She did exactly the same thing. I think it's just their personality. Maybe he's stong willed like she was. I could pretty much trust her on her own timing and she was always very clear about her needs whether it was potty training or giving up her pacifier. It was sad though; I loved nursing and I knew she was my last baby.

It almost sounds like something in your milk tastes different, maybe new meds or new foods. I'd pump and dump and review my diet and meds and still try nursing. You can use your milk in a bottle if neccessary. If he refuses call a le leche specialist.
Good luck, A.

((hugs)) Has your milk slowed way down with moving from 4 to 2? Sometimes if they aren't getting much, the need to nurse will slow down with it. With my first little one, my period came back about that same time and she was no longer interested in nursing, the hormones might have played a factor there. Has he recently learned a new skill? (more crawling, playing, walking, etc.) Sometimes being too busy to want to stop and nurse can play in there, too. In answer to one of your questions, no, 10 months isn't at all too young to wean, but if you were hoping to go longer, things that will help are trying not to stress about it - little ones do their own thing, and often not at all on the time frames we want *grin* and stressing about it will just make you both more tense. Try to make nice quiet time to nurse, whenever seems to be best for you and him to have time together (morning, night, etc.) Hang in there!

He might very well be weaning himself. I have nursed all 5 of my babies. The youngest weaned himself at 7 mo. One day he just pushed me away and that was it. I would get him a non-spill sippy cup and put milk or formula in it. Some kids are just ready to grow up fast. He must feel confident in himself and you are to thank for that. You're doing a great job!