Baby Shower - Aurora,IL

Updated on August 16, 2010
E.A. asks from Aurora, IL
21 answers

My son is almost 5 (in oct). I am 4 months pregnant now. My question is I don't know to buy stuff I need or wait to see if I will get a baby shower.
Do people normally give baby showers for there second baby. Since they are 5 years apart does that matter?

Not for sure what to do yet.

Thank you for you help!!
E.

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

One shower is usually it and its for the first baby. I wouldnt expect another shower nor would i say yes if someone wanted to throw one. Thats kinda tacky. Just buy whatever you dont already have.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

It is not good etiquette to have a 2nd baby shower. Most people look at it as being greedy. You don't want family & friends to feel obligated to buy gifts everytime you have another child.

1 mom found this helpful

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

In my honest opinion, it is your child so you need to provide the things that baby needs and not wait on others to give to you. You older child is only five years old. You should still have many of the baby items saved and in working order. I, personally, think it's tacky to expect people to rebuy you gifts that you receieved such a short time ago.

3 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Springfield on

I personnally do not believe in second baby showers. Regardless of the number of years between your children, I feel it is completely your responsibility the second, third, fourth, etc times to buy all necessary items and not rely on others to buy them for you.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.O.

answers from Chicago on

I always feel it should only be one shower. If I get invited to a 2nd shower I feel it is more a "fund raiser". I think the family shold keep the baby items and use it for the 2nd child. Baby gear cost so much and is used so little. My daughter was adopeted when she was 3.5 My son was 4 at the time. I did not get a shower for her, but some close freinds did bring her gifts when they came to meet her.

This is just my opinion and you should do what is right in your circle of friends.

Blessings on the baby
J.

3 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I would wait a bit before buying stuff (except for maybe diapers and stuff you will need to replenish anyway). Maybe start putting money aside now for when you need to buy supplies. There are some things that may not be reusable...car seat if it has expired or been in an accident. Others items if there are safety concerns. Most people to give a shower even if it is just a luncheon and done on a much smaller scale. I would confide in a close friend or family member that you know there are things you need and aren't sure what/when to start buying. They may be trying to surprise you and maybe that will prompt them into at least telling you not to buy stuff yet. You still have a few months...it is always wise to wait until a month or so before the due date (if you are due mid to late Dec, figure your shower would be before Thanksgiving). If nothing by then, I say start getting a few of the necessities (car seat, diapers, a few clothes to get started, bottles) that way you at least have what is truly needed.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I would not expect a shower for a second baby. I had never even heard of showers for second (or third, etc) babies until I got pregnant and some people mentioned it on message boards. It seems to maybe be a regional thing that sometimes perhaps happens in other areas of the U.S. But I've never seen or heard of it around here.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.M.

answers from Chicago on

It depends on you and your friends/family. I am pregnant with my 3rd and my friends want to throw me a shower and want me to register. My family only throws a shower for the first, no matter what. My two boys are 6 1/2 and 2 1/2. This baby is a girl. Although I have all the "big" items there are things out there that were not available when I had the first shower with my first child. I did not have a shower for the second since he was a boy and I had enough for a boy. With the second when people would visit the baby they would bring a small gift. I have still bought things this time around myself that I find on clearance so that even if they do not throw the shower I will have enough to start with.

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C.T.

answers from Chicago on

It used to be that you got only one unless there was a big break in between children. Now that has changed and it's acceptable and appropriate to have one for all of your children.
If you want one you need to ask someone to throw it for you. Your mom or mother-in-law, a family member or friend. Go ahead and bring up the subject and I'm sure you'll get some takers.

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R.M.

answers from Chicago on

We don't do baby showers for 2nd babies, that's why I am holding onto to everything from #1, in case we ever have a #2.

I wouldn't expect a baby shower if I were you. Your family might want to do something small for you (immediate family) but I don't think you usually get "big" gifts for 2nd, 3rd children etc., mostly clothes/outfits for the baby. so if you need anything big you'll probably have to purchase on your own.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

It really depends on your family..... My family is ONE shower and that is it. (The one exception was a woman married to our relative (her second marriage, his first) and her girls were in their teens already when they had a baby together. So she was given a shower for their new baby boy.)

I would honestly just start watching Craigslist. You can get GREAT deals on barely used baby equipment! My mom bought and I found a mom selling: a swing, exersaucer, bumbo with tray, doorway jumper, carrier, and a papasan type baby chair on Craigslist for $125 total and it was all 1 year old or newer! (She still had the receipt for the swing which was $120 new!) We got it all for my new sister-in-law because she probably won't be getting any shower at all...... (Long story.) My brother and her just got married in May and are due in a couple months. So, she is almost all set for a very good price!

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L.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I would formulate a list, perhaps even make a registry on Amazon.com. I have done that to remind myself of the specific items I need or want. Give yourself time to do research. A lot has changed in the last three years since I was pregnant with my firstborn, five years promises even more of a curve. For every item you find that is a must-have, take the money and put it in a seperate account. That is your fail-safe fund. If you get a week or two away from your due date and no shower or random gifts from family and friends, you go on a well-informed shopping spree with money in hand.

I am pregnant with twin girls three years after a singleton boy. I was thrown a baby shower that primarily resulted in little pink outfits in duplicate. So, don't expect to get the lion's share of your necessities from a shower if one does come to pass.

Best wishes to you.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My children were five years apart and yes someone gave me a baby shower, but truthfully it wasn't expected and I don't know what protocol is, but you should get some of the things you need anyway. But wait on it. You have five months to go so unless you see deals somewhere that you must spend money on is there a reason why you need things immediately? Give someone a chance to plan something.

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K.A.

answers from Chicago on

My family & friends threw a shower for my first child only. However, at work they threw me a shower for my first, and second child. I have heard that sometimes with a large gap between children, people give a second child. Try to feel out your co-workers/friends/family. They'll prob start talking about a shower in the next few months if they want to throw you one when you're about 8 months. Good luck!

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C.F.

answers from Chicago on

Some people do. If you would like to have a baby shower then have one. Things for babies change each year and new safty standards are always coming out so you will need new things for the new baby.

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K.J.

answers from Chicago on

Did you get rid of your baby items from your older son? If not, then you probably don't need a shower. The only items that you'll really need to replace are the carseat (they have 5 year lifespans, I believe) and probably bottles/sippys, as the older ones likely have BPA in them.

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

You can wait a while. I don't find it offensive (as a gifter) when people invite me to a second baby shower if it's been 5 years. If it were 12 months, well, then I would think differently.
I'd wait until the last month.

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V.L.

answers from Chicago on

You won't be getting a second shower. The most you can hope for is some of your friends giving you a token gift or something for big brother when the new baby arrives. As many have said you should already have baby items from the first and should really only need to replenish items that have worn out or are consumables.

If you do find that there are things you truly need, but cannot afford to purchase consider joining a local Freecycle group. Go to yahoo.com and search freecycle. There are daily posts of people offering and requesting baby items. It's a wonderful site for items that are useful but no longer needed by the owners.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

If someone.. family or friend want to do it that's fine but to solicit for one is innapropriate and appears greedy...Women who chose to become mothers and are blessed with pregnancies resulting in a healthy baby made the choice. Showers are not a right but a gift. For first time moms it seems appropriate as a right of passage into motherhood...Those of us who chose to have more than one are on our own unless of course you have someone who wants to throw one for you. If you are in need of "baby" items..I would consider garage sales, resale shops and resales in the area. Also Craigs List or recycle.com for your area. I would also ask friends and family who are growing out of their baby items if they want to sell or donate that you are open since you need these things.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would start buying stuff. Normally baby showers are for new mothers that are having their 1st child.

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K.V.

answers from Phoenix on

I am having my 2nd as well and they are 4 years apart. My question is has anyone offered to throw you a shower? My friends have all talked about it so I registered for the stuff that I dont have (stilla have carseat, stroller, ect). Its different for everyone, but i see no problem having a shower when the kids are that age different (I agree with previous poster if it were only a year then prob not). I do think with the 2nd you can register for a coiuple of bigger things but it should mostly be the smaller stuff. For me wer need a new baby bath and the big thing i registerd for was a new bassinet style pack and play (since I gave mine to a good friend awhile ago. In reality it just depends on your firend sand family and what you think resonable requests are, some people have very generous cirlces and some dont.
PS Dont let this stop you from putting everything you need on your register though, because it can act as a wonderful shopping list so you dont forget to get whatever no one buys you, also a lot of stores sometimes offer discounts on items left on regiistries. Congrats on #2 ((HUGS))

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