Baby Hitting Head

Updated on November 08, 2010
S.B. asks from Santa Ana, CA
6 answers

I'm looking for a little backup that I'm not a horrible mother and maybe find the confirmation in a written source. My 9.5 month old still occasionally falls backward from a sitting position, hitting her head. Problem is tha I have a painted cement floor (not as bad as just plain ole cement) in the bedroom and hard wood floors in the rest of the house. She has only done it twice in the last month and I'm not too worried about it as it's not hard enough to get a bump. I figure it's nothing I can control short of making her wear a helmet. Her father however, becomes extremely angry when she does it and thinks she is not being watched close enough or that she should be kept in the crib if I have to walk out of the room for a second. My house is very small, so if I can't see her, I can hear her. Her last fall backward happened when I was a foot away from her, so it's not a question of lack of watching her. Maybe some advice on how to tell him it's natural and where I can find it in a book? Thanks in advance for the help.

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So What Happened?

I appreciate everyone's responses and advice, very helpful. I did want to clear something up though, I definatley was not trying to make a point to him by posting this question. This is my first child and I'm willing to admit I don't know everything, far from it. I really was interested in some book material that would tell us both how much or how little we need to worry about it. If I'm being too under-cautious and he's being too overly-cautious, we both need to know. I do have throw rugs around the house, but I swear she aims for the hardwood. In my house she can never be out of my sight, it's very small, in fact I was about a foot from her whan she fell backwards. I never walk away while she's in the bathtub, etc. I just wanted clarification, so thank to you all. Much appreciated.

More Answers

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M.B.

answers from Reno on

There was a similiar question on here not too long ago that a dad posted and there was quite a bit of backlash at the dad for not recognizing that he shouldn't be posting it to a forum to make a point... not sure if you'll get the same reaction but I thought about that when I read your post.
First off, my house has a similiar makeup with mostly wood floors and cement-like tile.
I don't think that if your daughter is moving about that you should be out of her sight. Things can happen in literally seconds (the dad's question was about the mom walking out of the room while the kid was eating), my friends 10 month old son had to be taken to the hospital because when she swept, she'd missed a single unused staple. He ate it and it got caught (literally into the fleshy part of his throat) and had to be surgically removed.
But back to my situation, my husband would let our daughter toddle out into the cement-like area of our house and every time she'd fall and hit her head. I got upset with him everytime. The way they move around and fall etc is natural but it doesn't hurt to be cautious.
The solution was putting up gates to the areas where she was most likely to get hurt (the cement areas) and putting down rugs on the wood floors. If she's falling over from a sitting position, try a bumbo seat that will help her stay upright or put pillows around her.
Your husband is worried about your daughter. That's not a bad thing but you two need to talk to each other (TALK being the operative word here) about what you expect of each other. You're the easy going "kids will be kids and they get hurt" (that was my husband) Your husband is the overly cautious one (that's me) there is a middle ground and the two of you need to work together to find solutions, not prove who is right and who is wrong.
As your daughter gets older, he'll relax a little more about the things she's doing and as she does get hurt a little more, you'll become more cautious. Caution isn't that bad though. There are too many stories of a mother who went to the bathroom and left the lid of the washer up and the kid climbed on a chair and fell in and drowned (2-5 minutes in the bathroom) kids who choke on seemingly safe foods (it only takes 4 minutes for brain damage to occur), eating or inhaling something accidentally left where someone can't see them.
The best defense is a perfectly sterile environment or supervision appropriate to the age.
So... my final thought? Your husband is not entirely wrong in worrying but he's wrong in going off on you about it. You need to be a team.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.V.

answers from Honolulu on

It sounds like neither of you want her to hurt herself. Putting in some cheap, cushioned, wide throw rugs would probably be more comfortable to her than a helmet =). It will help her get through the normal bumps and bruises of learning to be a capable sitter, crawler, walker, jumper, runner.

That will work for the floor, but it sounds like there is some hard wood/cement surfaces possibly in the heart of her dad. That will need to be improved too if your daughter is going to grow up with an emotionally safe relationship with him.

Obviously he loves you and her and feels frustrated.

Splendid resources in the heart softening department are How to Hug A Porcupine by Dr. John Lund and I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better by the Lundgrens. These are just fabulous.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

wow i would be livid if my husband acted like that but thats besides the point. maybe try to set a few pillows around her to cushion her if she slips. what i would do is have your husband watch her and let him see her fall. in that way he can see your not being neglectful in anyway. good luck i really hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.:
I think I understand daddys frustration.Its understandable,that he is very protective of his little girl.He can't stand to see her cry,and it hurts him,any time he sees her get hurt.What he will have to (learn) or drive himself and you crazy! is that all babies and toddlers take spills and falls. You nor your husband,will be able to be right there to catch each and every fall, bump or scrape.This is all part of growing for them. This is how they recognize and learn where their limitations are. This is how they develope. If you are there to catch them each time they fall,they will expect you to be there and catch them when they are older. Before you know it,they are adults, that have been so protected,that they are (afraid) to try anything on their own,and lack self confidence.I agree with another mother here, that it wouldn't be a bad idea to either buy carpet for that room,or throw rugs,to prevent any injuries,but...You are not a bad mother, because your not sitting right next to your daughter morning, noon and night.The best to you S. and your active daughter. J.

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R.B.

answers from Knoxville on

Thank you so much!! Im a first time mother as well and kinda in the same situation.Just last night my daughter pulled herself up on her walker and fell backwards onto the tile (like cement) and she passed out. I ofcourse I freaked out took to the Er,and they did an catscan and said she was okay.I just wonder if its really okay!!! I dont know

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B.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

You probably can't find it in a book, but it's normal. My daughter did it on our tile floors even when she was 11 months old, and she was an early everything (walker, crawler, sitter)- the first time she passed out and scared the heck out of me. I took her to the ER and it turned out she inherrited (from my Grandma) the ability to make herself pass out when she's hurt or upset. But besides that she's been fine every time. I wouldn't tell my husband! Men tend to freak out over that kind of stuff. Also, put a pillow behind her- if you used a boppy, they're the best because they kind of circle the little one. Of course, if she just crawls out of it, it won't help you. But don't worry, and be aware of the signs of head trauma. Knowledge is power!

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