Baby Blues - Petersburg,VA

Hi - I understand. I remember sitting in a rocking chair at 2 a.m., holding my daughter and crying because I loved her so much. I didn't want to go back to bed! I never did let my husband feed her at night (same with my son). I think hormones play a big role in this. Our bodies are programmed to bond with new babies - sometimes we just go a little overboard. New-mom hormones can make everything seem more dramatic than it is. If this is making you feel obsessive and sad, then I think you should talk to your doctor about it. But I also think you have a perfect right to want to be around your kids and not want a break from them - just because other people want a break from their kids doesn't mean you should feel the same way (or feel bad that you don't)! I hope you feel better soon.

Your symptoms suggest a manic state: the euphoria tempered with labile moods, obsessive nature, time racing, and lack of sleep which you are experiencing. Mania is serious and not the laughing matter to which some people choose to refer to it. Please see your doctor immediately. Likely this is a hormone issue which needs to be checked and described to you. You mention feeling this way with your other births and so you may have a genetic predisposition; that is not uncommon either. You need rest, reassurance and help---your husband sounds great as a helpmate---for you and the other children. They all need you too. Please schedule a clincial appt ASAP. You will be fine soon. Congratulations on this newest baby.

Hi Amy! I went through a very similar thing after my son was born. It was my version of the baby blues and lasted about four weeks before then tapering off. My husband was eager to help with night feedings but it made me cry to think about giving up that routine with him. Jon realized, before I did, that I wasn't ready - that the emotional part of nursing and bonding with the baby was more important to me than sleeping 8 hours straight. I was so overwhelmed with how amazing everything was, didn't want to miss a thing and I was so sad to think of him getting bigger, growing out of that precious newborn stage!

I don't know about you - but I naturally tend to be on the nostalgic side, and I think that the pregnancy hormones really ramped those feelings up. Everything evened out after a bit and by the time I had to spend a few hours out of the house I was surprised at how refreshingly easy it was to leave him in a friend's loving care. I still realize how quickly he's growing - but I am more comfortable now enjoying the moment, freezing it in my heart and getting excited to see how he'll change tomorrow.

Bring this up with your doctor next time you visit - or seek out care if you want. Focus your mind on the positives of your baby's growth and celebrate the excitement of new milestones. Make your time with him count - but quality over quantity. And do take care of yourself. That will help you feel balanced more quickly. :)

Hey, Amy--I don't want to pathologize everything, either, but here are some questions for you: Is your devotion to nursing interfering with your own health? (Sleep deprivation can MAKE you nuts even if you weren't before.) Is it interfering with your enjoyment of this time in your life? I think you've already answered the last question as "yes." We can guess whether to call this "manic" (I'd guess OCD--obsessive compulsive disorder, if I had to guess, and yes, that is one way postpartum depression can manifest itself) --regardless, you should see a doc. Preferably, a psychiatrist--your odds of finding a doctor who really understands psychotropic medications is somewhat better that way. You sound like a wonderful, loving mom; I'd hate for you to miss enjoying this time the way you should be.

I just can't help but say: You'll be the BEST Grandmother one day.
I guess people are right to suggest seeing your doc about this.
But I'm tempted to say that you're just full of love. Nursing and hormones -- you'll be okay after a while. Just love your babies and let the days pass...

i'm thinking maybe 3 kids isnt enough for you. why not have more? unless you physicly cant i think this is a sign that you should. if anything just thinking you can have more in the future may help you now whith not thinking you cant ever have more. i dont believe that saying right now you never will or want to ever have more is rational when we truley never do know for certain what we will want in the future until that time arrives. yes many say they dont want more later and are right but some also are wrong. many dont want another and then when they find out they are pregnant become so excitd and would be devistated to learn they lost the baby they never wanted to begin with. keep an open mind and i wish you the best in whatever is truely the right choice for you.

I totally felt that way with my first child. But I had nothing ot compare it to. In hindsight, my homroones were clearly out of control - I had horrible night sweats and I cried a lot. I thought that was how motherhood was. Of course there was some genuine emotion and a bit of being overwhelmed, but I believe my hormones really drove it. I would stay up at night holding her after a 2am feeding feeling like if I put her down I would be a bad mother. Anyway, I totally know how you feel. WIth my second child, I didn't have nearly as extreme emotions - and I even felt guilty that I didn't since she is probably MY last baby!

So I guess that I think you are experiencing normal baby blues. I don't know what to suggest to you, other than to find someone you trust who can serve as eyes and ears for you. If you fall into a true depression, you may not see it, and you need someone who is objective and strong enough to call your doctor if you can't. That may not be your husband, but maybe Mom, sister, or friend.

It will pass, but I have to say, my emotionality lasted for 9 months. I probably should have told my doctor. It might be wise for you to mention it - you don't have to take drugs or anythign you don't want to, but your doctor may be able to measure your hormone levels to see how far out of balence they are.

In the meanwhile, channel your feelings into something positive. Work on his baby book, write him a letter telling him how you feel about him, etc. But also know that the best mom for him is one who is well rested and takes a few moments for herself and for the other kids (without him). I know how strong those feelings are, so try to make soemthign positive out of them, rather than feeling sad. Good luck, enjoy him, and ask for help when you need it.