It has taken me many painful years to learn this (my girls are now 12 and almost 16) but sometimes we moms make the attitude worse without even realizing it.
Kids, especially girls, do not like to be micromanaged. Reminding her to put her name on her homework is a perfect example. That's HER responsibility, not yours. If it's a problem, that's for she and her teacher to deal with. She will learn from it, and you will avoid yet another confrontation.
Think of it this way, imagine someone was constantly reminding you to do things, or telling you how to do things you are trying to figure out on your own. You'd get pretty annoyed, right?
Our girls get frustrated because they are trying to grow and learn and be independent but we well meaning moms are constantly trying to "guide" them. I have found that backing off and giving them a longer leash makes a huge difference. I have also found it helps to let them do things in their own way, which has been very hard for me because I can be pretty fixed in my opinion about how things "should" be done. It's hard at first, because of course mother knows best, lol! But honestly my girls and I get along so much better when I am able to let them figure things out on their own.