I think, with all due respect, the only thing you have an obligation to help her "get" right now, is that if she crosses you there will be hell to pay. In my opinion, disrespect isn't something you talk through. Disrespect is something you drop the hammer on.
So start today when she gets home from school. Sit her down and tell her enough's enough. You won't tollerate another eye roll, another raised voice, another snotty comment. You are her mother and you love her and that affords you respect from now until forever freakin' more. From this day forward there will be swift and horrible consequences. There will be loss of privileges, added chores. You will make sure she is so busy she'll want to change her name to Cinderella and won't have time to be disrespectful because if she wants to be the head woman in the house, she can do the head woman's work. When she decides she wants to be the child and respectful again, she can do all the fun things kids can do.
Then start immediately and waste not a minute's time or an opportunity to prove your point.
Hope this helps,