Attachment Parenting and Sleeping

Updated on January 04, 2010
J.A. asks from Abington, PA
6 answers

Hi,

I'm interested in hearing from some moms who nurse exclusively and have done the family bed thing. Specifically, how and when did you transition getting your babies to sleep on their own.

I have a thriving 10 month old, who is in the 95th percentile. He's adorable, chubberlicious, happy, easy going AND wakes up every 2 hours at night. He takes 1 -2 naps a day, and goes to bed around 6:30pm. He will sleep until 10:30pm or 11:00pm and then is up every 2 hours or so. He's not teething at the moment, and I'm getting exhausted and jelouse of all my formula fed friend's babies that have been sleeping through the night since 4 months!!

From the start we co slept with our little guy. He'd awake, I'd nurse him, he'd go right back to sleep. We all slept relatively well. Then around 8.5 months it stopped working as well. After nursing him he wouldn't go to sleep but constantly fidget and squirm around. After nursing and nursing him, I would have had enough and I would finally roll away, which is when the whining and fussing would start, and the tiny little dagger nails would start clawing my neck, chest, nose... you know how it is! So, we transitioned him out of our bed to a crib in our room. He would wake up, I'd nurse him, and then place him back in his crib, and he'd go back to sleep. This worked for about a month, but then he started being aware that we were in the room and cry and cry when he was in the crib. I tried bringing him to our bed again, but, I personally can't sleep with a baby that nurses on and off all night long, which is the only way I could stop him from clawing me constantly. We have now placed him in another room and he will settle right back to sleep after nursing which is great, but he is still waking up every 2 hours. With my oldest, we ended up letting him cry it out several different times, until he started sleeping through the night, around 12/13 months old. I don't want to go down this route again, because it's so sad, but I'm afraid I'm going to be reaching the point where I can't handle it any more and will have to!

So, are there any moms out there that have any advise? Any support? Are you still nursing you little ones throughout the night? Do they ever just start sleeping through the night on their own in your bed, or will they always want you? Thanks so much!

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J.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son cosleeps and at 1 year I nightweaned him. When he woke up I told him he didn't need to nurse and he could have water instead. He cried a bit but I was there to comfort him through it. After 3 nights he was nightweened. Hope this helps! Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I co-slept with my daughter until she was 10 1/2 months old. She would wake up every 3 or 4 hours. I was able to use some of the techniques in "The No Cry Sleep Solution" to stretch her sleep periords from 2 hours to 4 hours, but I couldn't get her to sleep through the night. (Though the book says you should be able to get them to sleep through the night with the techniques, I just couldn't get it to work for me).

For a variety of reasons, we decided to transition her into her own crib in her own room. After several recommendations we tried the book "Good Night Sleep Tight" from The Sleep Lady - http://sleeplady.com/. It's a version of cry-it-out. It sucked the first 2 nights, but after that, it was pretty great. She was sleeping through the night, by herself after a week.

I continued to breast feed my daughter during the day until she self-weaned at around 20 months.

Good luck!!

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M.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J., do you also feed him solid food? My little guy has always been in the 95 percentile too (born at 9.5 lbs and just kept going and going) and is off the chart for height. I also exclusively nursed when he was a baby and he started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks. He is an eater too!! We gave him solids at 5 months, fruit - pears baby food, oatmeal for babies all organic. He slepteven better once he started that. Maybe that would help? Not sure if you already do that or not. Best of luck!! Sleep deprivation is sooooooooo hard!!!! and working through the bumps (like to let them cry or notnis soooo hard!!!) I totally feel for you!! I have always hear that whatever change you make, try to be consistent for 3 days, and that usually does the trick. Take care, M.

L.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

Babies are very intelligent. Since birth, they know how to get you. They are cute and sweet and I tend to believe that they know that very well to the point of manipulating you as they wish. My personal experience with my first child is totally different than with my second one. I was exhausted for a while and breast fed my first son on demand every 3-4 hours, until he turned three month old. Then, he began sleeping through the night and skipping that midnight/early morning meal. That is, I woke up to feed him around 5 or 7 a.m. On the other hand, I've never co slept with my children, unless there was a medical reason which has not been my case with any of them. My, now, 11th week baby boy sleeps through the night since week 7. Amazing fact that he decided to do it that way. I put him on his crib on the second week of birth, suggested by his ped. It worked to the point that I can do more things with my oldest son and with home chores. Likewise, my first son began sleeping in his bed two months before he turned two in order to smooth his path due to my second son's birth, which was two moths after he turned two years of age. Now, he loves to go under the sheets and easily go to sleep. In regard of your son clawing his finger nails on you, I suggest you to put mittens or cut them more frequently. It worked for my. I breast fed my oldest son until he turned seven and planning to do it until my second turns 8 if milk supply allows me so. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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E.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

Dear J.,
I nursed all three of mine. Your 10-month old is ready for real food and drink. Start out with mashed banaa, this is the closest tasting food to breast milk.
He needs to have his sleep pattern change. He needs a longer nap in the afternoon. When he goes down for the early evening 5-6 hours, you better be in bed, too. Have your husband take care of whatever he can with your other child and the dishes until you can catch up with him. Working your 10-month old onto a new sleep pattern, is going to require your leadership. Go down for the afternoon nap, too. Don't get sick!!! Get rid of the morning nap around a year. Your little guy is ready for real food. Let him take an interest in what you are eating and drinking. There is a multivitamin, multimineral powder with probiotics for your son, by Shaklee. You just mix it with his drink. I wish there was something like this for my little one that was in the bottom 10%. I had used the children's products and were pleased but this is something new and I would review it with my peadiatrician.
Your little guy wants to keep up with with brother and I would not hold him back. Get your rest, you deserve it.
Enjoy your motherhood,
E.

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J.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

J.,

Congrats to you for co-sleeping this long. I have a 3yr old and a 13m old. My 3yr old, we started to transition him to his room around 2.5 yrs old. We didn't want to do it right after the new one arrived. With our youngest, i plan on attempting the transition shortly after 2 years old. I enjoy having them in our bed. It's rewarding for a working mom. the little one is still nursing at 13ms and we do have our rough nights but i would imagine that trying to put a little one in another room would disrupt the entire family, including your eldest. The squirmy nights are short lived. Bear though them and enjoy the extra quality time with your little one. They will be out of your bed in no time, when it's the right time.

Best of Luck. Keep up the good work mom!
Jess

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