22 answers

At What Age Do You Stop Inviting Family for Bday Party?

I am curious at what age is it appropriate to stop inviting family (grandparents, aunts uncles, etc) to a child's birthday. The reason I ask is I have a sister who stopped sending out invites to her kids parties and said after a while it's really just for kids friends to come. I feel like I could verbally tell whoever (especially grandparents) that they could come but is there an age where it becomes silly to send out invites to everyone?

Also---said sister mentioned that she didn't want out of towners to feel like they had to travel which made me feel like it was directed at me....my whole family and husbands family is out of town.
My daughter is turning 6 in September and we're planning a party at a bowling alley and I just didn't know if I needed to include all the family too.
Thanks!

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Thanks! We are going to do it at the bowling alley and invite everyone as we usually do. Usually most of the out of towners do not come and I know any other time I've been to bowling alley parties just the kids bowl and the adults mingle. I think I need to just stop listening to my sister. haha. What she decides for her kids is not necessarily what is what I should do...and it's obvious from all of your responses that it's weird to not invite family. To be honest...I answered my own question because I've felt slighted over the years when I stopped getting invites to her kids birthdays. They live 4.5 hrs away but I still drove even though we'd only stay the night.

Featured Answers

My daughter is 21 and while we no longer have birthday parties, I host a birthday dinner for her every year and family and her friends are invited.

1 mom found this helpful

For us all family is out of town and are hrs and hrs away.
So we don't invite family it's just too far for people to come.
If they were closer we would likely invite them , but we don't really do birthday parties. We take the kids where ever they want to go for their birthday and do that as a family thing, just the 4 of us.

1 mom found this helpful

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My oldest just turned 19 and we had the whole family come. There was a time - I would say 11-16 when she wanted to have slumber parties or go to a theme park with a few friends, we got a hotel room one yr, where she just wanted her friedns to come. But even those years, we still had a birthday dinner with presents and a cake and the whole family. So, it's not that we didn't invite the family, we just had 2 parties. We always want to get together as a family and celebrate. Any reason is a good reason!

3 moms found this helpful

You include who ever you want at any age for a party you are sponsoring. We have a large family and we always invite various cousins, aunts, uncles, etc to the various kids parties. Family is important to us. When the kids got old enough to invite their own guests is when the list changed slightly based on the kid's preference for guests. The call is yours. It's your party.

2 moms found this helpful

I have been in your shoes before. I usually send all of the family an invitation, but for those who live far away, I write a little notes saying that I don't expect them to come, but wanted them to feel included. Then if the family can't come to the party, we usually have a birthday celebration the next time the family gets together.

2 moms found this helpful

Happy Birthday to your daughter - a tad early!!

I guess for me, it's an open invitation for family. My parents live on the other side of the country but they would be there for my kids if they could. My sister and brother too live on the other side...

I think it's rude that your sister stated that the parties are really just for "friends" - what does that make you, chopped liver?

If my family wants to travel for my kids birthday's? That's THEIR choice...not mine...they are adults and can think for themselves...guess I'm being short - sorry - but I would tell family what's happening and let them make a choice.

2 moms found this helpful

My stepkids still invite cousins, and family to the big ages (13, 16, 18...) when we do a family dinner party as well as the friend gig. My family is coming to DD's 3rd birthday party tomorrow, but my ILs are not, which is fine. She has her own friends now and it's more of a kid-event and less of a family one. We will save the birthday celebrations with Grandma and Granddad for later in the week. As the kids get older, it becomes more about friends than family. By the time SD was 6, there were no extra family members at her parties (sleepovers for years!), only the girl cousin that would appreciate it. I think it really depends on your families. This year I invited my cousins, the ones with girls similar ages to my daughter, but I did not invite my aunt and uncle and outward.

1 mom found this helpful

Huh? We always invite family, but then it really is just my mom and on occasion my aunt and cousin will drive over from CA. We have a "family" party and now that the kids are older, on the weekend they can invite 2-3 kids to an event (bowling, movie, bounce house, etc) that they want to do for their "party". They also take cup cakes to school on their actual bday. They have never invited classmates to our home for thier party. And they have never missed that either. I would just continue to invite your family and leave it up to them if they want to come or not. I think the whole point of being a family is to celebrate each one's bday. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

We do the bowling party and invite family too, Well it's DH family, mine lives out of state :( They come and watch the kids bowl and have fun.

1 mom found this helpful

We are planning a party for my daughter who will be 4 in January. She wants to have it at McDonalds with her friends from daycare. I am not going to invite family except for her cousin who is 5. She only has 2 cousins and one will be 1 1/2. The 5 yr old and 1 1/2 yr old are brother and sister so they will both be there. Since her birthday falls during the week she wants to have a princess cake for her birthday. So the day of her birthday we will do dinner and the cake with her grandparents.
Once you start to have the parties at bowling alleys, McDonalds, etc, if you invite your family too it will start to run into some serious money. It will get expensive. I would just stick to her friends for that.
I had a friend that had his sons birthday party at a local place called the Castle. They have go carts, video games etc. He had a set price for the kids. They have all kinds of packages to choose from. He invited some of his family and told them that he would pay for the kids but if the adults got anything they would have to pay for it themselves. Well some of the older family members would get something and say to add it to his bill. When he got the bill he fell to the floor. It cost him $400 for a 6 year olds party. So you need to be careful when inviting family to these kinds of parties. As long as I can remember my birthday parties were with friends only. Especially when I started school. From age 1-3 they were with family. After that it was with my friends.

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