At My Wits End - Winter Springs,FL

Hey M.,
My eldest was a handful at this age too so I know it is frustrating and embarrassing when they act out. Autism in families is often related to other issues such as ADHD so a talk w/a behaviorist is a wise idea. Try Pediatric Associates on Mills Ave. in Orlando. They have several types of doctors and a separate behavioral center. It is ###-###-####. There is a book I found very helpful for my eldest. It is called, "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene Ph.D. It is for kids that are out of control and is excellent. My son eventually needed low dose medication but at age 15 he makes me very proud to be his mom.

Do you feel this just started after the baby's birth? It is really hard sometimes for a child to adjust to a new sibling. You mentioned you are a flight attendant. Do you have to leave the kids for 3 days? Maybe your daughter is acting out to get attention from you. Do you get any time alone w/her? Does she break things on purpose or by accident? If it is an accident, I would be tempted to let it go. Sometimes it is best to take the path of less resistance w/challenging kids and choose your battles. Not every issue needs to be discussed and disciplined at this age and it exhausts the mom (I know)! Full-time school might be a good idea especially if she is bright (needs more stimulation and socialization)and if it keeps her challenged, happy and gives her daily structure. You should not feel guilty to put her in full time. A 3 yo can handle more than 6 hours per week. Also, gifted and very bright kids are more difficult when not challenged. Best of luck and you will be in my thoughts.

I feel for you! A wonderful child behaviorist attends my church, her name is Sharon Mackay. I only have her home email address, simply tell her you were referred by Suzanne from New Covenant... ____@____.com. Please let us know how things are going.

Hi M.,
3-year-olds can be tough! They know what they want but sometimes aren't great at expressing it and that leads to tantrums galore! It sounds like your daughter is experiencing some jealousy with her brother and she is acting out to get your attention. She may resent the attention NEEDED by the baby, and although her bad behavior gets her in trouble with you, it still gets her YOU which is her main goal.

Does your son nap? Maybe during that time you could do something one-on-one with your daughter. Let her choose the activity and make sure you participate. Focus 100% on her; no phone calls, laundry, dishes, etc. I know that stuff has to get done but it'll keep. Babies don't!! Also, try to "catch" her being good as much as possible. If she's playing quietly alone, notice it and praise her. Give her SPECIFIC praise so she knows why you are pleased: "I like how you're playing so nicely and so quietly with that doll. That helps Mommy. Thanks, sweetie!"

Have you read The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp? It's a great resource for talking to your toddler and he has good ideas, too.

Do you belong to a moms' group? I have found mine to be my saving grace again and again. The activities are fun for my children and for me and we have all made friends! Plus it is so great to have a support system of other moms in place. You don't say where you live but if you are interested, send me a private message and I'll tell you more about the group I'm in. It's in Lake Mary and our events are usually in the area including Sanford, Winter Springs, Lake Mary, and Longwood.

Good luck!

To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl

It takes consistency, which is very difficult, but will pay off.

Sounds like you are having a rough time. But it also sounds like you are doing a lot of good things for her behavior.

I talked to a friend of my daughter a few weeks ago... she has a son who had turned into a monster of a child. She put him on a TOTALLY natural diet - even the soap, shampoo and anything that touches him is totally natural. It saved them all because he is now a sweet and easy going child. But she said that she will see an immediate change if he eats anything that is processed or preserved. It is tough, but so worth it to keep everything he is in contact with totally natural. She just brings his special food wherever they go, and makes sure that he doesn't get anything else.

You might want to try that.. Totally natural diet and soap and shampoo -- NO preservatives or chemicals at all. It could help.

Good luck..
M.