Aspergers, Food Allergies, and Birthday Party Invites.

Call the parents and tell them your situation. Ask them if it's ok to sit in the lobby of the YMCA with a book so that should something happen, you're right there, but not encroaching on the party. They will understand and be thankful you're not leaving them with being responsible for your child's life. My son has PDD-NOS and a peanut allergy. He's 14 now, but when he was 6, I made sure I was close by at parties, just in case. The other parents were always very understanding and accommodating.

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I would probably go and stay for a while. Then you can gauge the situation if other parents are staying or leaving and how your son is doing. Be sure the host/parents know of your son's needs before the party as well if you do decide to leave. I would be prepared, but play it by ear.

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If his allergy is that severe and you don't know the parents, then I would definitely go with him. Make sure that you bring something that he can eat just in case there is not anything safe for him at the party...

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I would NEVER let my child go to a party by themselves without the people being close friends of mine. I would go in with him and just sit down to wait. If they tell you that you have to leave then tell them he needs to go too. That is just not right. No one is responsible for my kiddos but me.

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Whether or not you stay is decided by the host's preference and your comfort level. I like Momma L.'s advice to stay awhile and see how it goes.

When you RSVP I'd tell the host about your son's food allergies and ask if you can bring an alternative for him if she's serving foods to which he's allergic.

Is he so allergic that he'll need the epi-pen. My granddaughter has allergies, including to peanuts. Her mom doesn't send the epi-pen to short social occasions such as birthday parties because it's highly unlikely that she'll need it. She's 11, has had a pen since she was a toddler and has never needed it.

If you feel he needs to have the epi-pen with him then you need to stay. It's too much to expect someone untrained to be comfortable with having it and using it.

It's best to be up front with the host about his allergies. And.....to teach your son what he cannot eat so that he can help monitor them. My granddaughter from Kindergarten on would ask if peanuts were in foods before she would eat them. She knew she couldn't have milk. Tho that allergy is not life threatening, she would refuse it.

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