Asked to Leave Pre-school After Four Days

there are many kinds of preschool, sounds like this one isn't for him. Perhaps a montessorri type would be better. Or a smaller class size in a home setting. If he is going to kindergarten next year I would not pull him completely. He needs to learn those group coping skills.

I like the idea of montessori school. My sister is the director of one in Colorado and when I visited there, I was very impressed with the care of the children. They learn to be independent and the teacher is very involved in studying the children and individualizing their care.

C.,

what school district are you in? you should be able to get your son tested and this should be free because you pay taxes.

my heart goes out to you...i had a child that had constant problems with school when he was little...in fact one teacher told me my son would never make anything of himself...i felt like i could rip her head off...but he is grown, married, expecting his second child, has his own business, has a full time job, has been in the military, has served our country in Iraq.....she didn't know anything...they were not meeting his needs...so i do understand what you are going through!!! he even is a college graduate!!!

hang in there mom!!! if there is anything i can help you with pls let me know. the teachers may have to fill out some paperwork.

i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!!

Try enrolling him in classes through your park district. I did this for my daughter for a couple of years before putting her in preschool and I think it really helped prepare her. Also, Gymboree has a great class called School Skills that teaches them the listening skills your son needs. Each one-hour class begins with free playtime in the play area, followed by the teacher gathering them up for story time. There is a "letter of the day" and everything coordinates with it - so if the letter happens to be "g" they may read a story about a giraffe. The teacher also pulls different objects out of a bag that start with this letter and the children are asked to identify it. After this open segment of the class (parents are seated just outside the play area to watch), the kids are brought into the "discovery room" which is behind closed doors and with no parents. It is designed to get the kids ready for the idea that they'll be in school with just a teacher as an authority figure - mom and dad won't be there. In discovery, they learn sharing skills, they color, they draw, listen to music...all in all it is a great class that is well structured and will help give your son an introduction to school. It is held every week and you can keep your son in it as long as you want, up until age 5.

Although I know how difficult it is for you right now, remember that preschool is not mandatory. Plenty of children never go to organized preschool and do just fine in kindergarten. Find a program where your son can thrive and no doubt he'll be right on track.

Good luck!

I think any school that gives up on an active boy after 4 days is not the right school for him. I would try to find another school and if you can't at this late date teach him at home for this year and try to get in maybe at winter break or early next spring. Try the YMCA in your area or the Park district. It sounds like the school he is currently in is not use to wiggely boys. It is not that uncommon and I would be very slow to start thinking testing or drugs. Also ask about the teaching philosophy and expectations before you sign him up. Good Luck.
Peggy

How do you feel? Do you think your son is ready for preschool? My daughter, almost 3 is the same way. I honestly can't see her in a preschool setting, because she's not ready. So, I have put her in classes through our local park district that are shorter to get her used to preschool. Maybe try that with your son? She is in a music class that is 40 mins. long. She is learning to listen to the teacher, socialize, and it's a much shorter time span for her to sit still for. That's once a week. I also try and get her in playgroups, or other 'kiddie' places a couple times a week, so it's not so structured. It's definitely helped. Good luck!!!

enroll him in a montessori school and you will not have these issues! go check one out!!!

I am not sure where you reside, but perhaps he would do best in a Montessori program. I know of a great one in Glen Ellyn called Diamante Montessori. They work with children on a wide range of levels. What is great about this school is your son would be in the 3-6 year old classroom, which might help him as he can learn at his own pace, but not feel that he is being put with younger kids. I would suggest looking into a program like this and researching Montessori. Don't just listen to what one teacher is saying. There is a place for everyone and not everyone learns the same way or the same style such as in the traditional sense. He is in preschool for goodness sake, not grade school and maybe this teacher needs to take a better look at her resources and how she can better help the children in her care rather than being so quick to send them off!

Best of luck and many hugs to you and your son!

Hi C. - I am very disheartened to hear how the teachers have dealt with your son. Instead of trying to help him, they are marginalizing him. You have a right, at no cost to you, to have your son tested, and if appropriate, to have an IEP (individualized education plan) developed for him. You should contact the school and let them know that you want your son tested to see if he qualifies for an IEP. You should contact the case manager at your son's school, which is a part of the department of specialized services. Your taxes pay for your son's education, beginning at age 3, if he requires an IEP. This process can take awhile so I recommend signing the request for ASAP. If you get nowhere, you should contact CPS office of specialized services at ###-###-#### and ask them what you need to do. Advocate for your child and be strong. If your child has issues, they can often be overcome with help at an early age. Its best to err on the side of getting help (it is harmless and will only help). Good luck!

I am very sorry this happened to you and yes I agree the school should have found a better way to deal with this but from my own experience I can tell you this is a common problem. I live in an area that is known for its good schools etc. It has created an environment where kids have to be super ready for kindergarten and thus pre K for 4 year old kids has become a race to get them ready. Here if your kid only start preschool at 4 they are considered behind. I would definitely have him evaluated just to make sure school its just something that he has to get use to. Try a different school and talk to them to see how they would handle a situation like this and try and enroll him in an activity that he will enjoy like gymnastics for example. See if you can maybe observe -out of site - how he reacts to a class environment and instruction. That way you can see for yourself what he is like and not take somebody 's word who was clearly not prepared to go out of their way. Take heart you will find a place that he will fit in and be happy. To use my husbands saying - its preschool not Harvard. Good luck.

It sounds like this preschool was a bad "fit" for your son. Exactly what you're describing are many of the reasons I SENT my son to preschool to begin with. Oy.

I would *strongly* suggest looking into different schools, preferably with multiage classrooms (like montessori, but there are others as well), where the children are

1) Taught to model the behaviors of the more advanced kids, and to teach the less advanced kids... this doesn't necessarilly go by age. In my son's 3 years in montessori he learned from both older and younger kids, and taught both older and younger kids.

2) Have more choice and freedom in their time, works, actions

3) Teachers are used to teaching KIDS... reading your first post I was rather horrified about the teacher's reactions to your son and in what/how she told you about it day. It sounds like a completely stifling environment with a very rigid -or inexperienced- teacher.

Sounds like he has some behaviour problems that they just don't want to deal with. Get him evaluated by a doctor. Did you notice problems? The earlier these things are addressed, the better the outcome for the child.

I am not familiar with the school system in your state. Did you have an opportunity to observe rhe classroom situation yourstlf? Many schools have a parents viewing room. Also, I would hope or request that there is/was a second opinion from another qualified professional before recommending they remove your child. If it is a public preschool talk to the principal again regarding the specific behavior issues they observed and discuss testing. Here, Chicago public school district is responsible for all children meeting the needs of testing and special therapies. In the meantime could you look into Montessori programs or have you thought about home schooling? Either way I hope for the best for you.

why not try another pre-school. One who is more qualified in dealing with all types of kids?

In the meantime, maybe you should consider joining a mom's group (try yahoo.com). If you start socializing him with other kids (with you being there monitoring his every move), I'm sure he will soon learn the proper ways to behave with kids. All kids learn at different speeds, your child may just need that little extra help. Be strong, love him for how he is and just appreciate him for the little boy he is.

Another thing is he may have ADD, but his doctor may be able to get him tested for that.

Have you tried sending him to an immersion preschool? My son who is special needs goes to one and while yes the typical peers are there to model things for the special needs kids it is not looked down upon or oddly if they too have their own quirks----wandering being one of them. I know in my state it does cost to send your child to that type of program but my assumption is that it costs to send him to regular preschool as well. Just an idea.

If he hasn't had much opportunities to be around many kids, he most likely needs to be more slowly immersed in to this world. Maybe you can take him to play-group or a moms group instead, until he learns some more social skills. Or try a different school, one with teachers more dedicated to one-on-one time with your son.

I don't know how things are in Indiana, but here, our school district does "preschool testing" beginning when kids are around 2 1/2. they typically set up certain dates and you bring your kid in and they do a number of different things with them. This is where my older son was determined to have a speech problem and they then set up speech therapy for 6 months. You should make the call to your school district office and see what you can find out. If they don't actually do it, they may be able to refer you to someone for assistance.

Request a case study from your local public school. Because he is over the age of three the local school district has to do the evaluation. This evaluation is free of charge and if services are required, then the local public school will have to provide them. Email me if you need a sample letter to get the assessment started.

Good Luck!

Holy cow! 4 days?! I kinda wonder about that preschool. I'm a teacher and I'd never do that after 4 days!

Yes, your child can get tested. The government pays for it. Call your school district (or maybe even the preschool can give you a phone number) and ask about special needs testing for early childhood. You definitely have a good reason for it.

What surprises me though is that it sounds like all this behavior is a big surprise to you. Has your kid never taken mom&tot classes with you before or gone on play dates or played with other kids at the park or anything? Because if he has and things went well, I wonder why it would suddenly change at preschool.

Can you try a different preschool? What does your pediatrician think about this?

I am truly sickened that your son's preschool would do this. Please keep in mind that not all preschools are alike! I was reading some of the other responses to your earlier post and agree that the whole point of preschool is to introduce the idea of a more structured environment for children of all abilities. Some kids have never been in that kind of environment and need a little extra coaching, that's all! Unfortunately, many public schools have expectations that are one-size-fits-all. The teachers have certain goals that have to be met and they need all the kids on the same page quickly. And that's where kids who need a little more initial coaching can fall through the cracks.

My child is private-schooled at my local Lutheran church/school and they offer preschool classes down to 3 years old. They are only 1/2 day classes 2, 3, or 4 days a week depending on what the parent wants to enroll their child in. Then Kindergarten is 1/2-days, 5 days a week. They gradually get the kids into it. They don't just expect a kid to be able to sit quietly and share, etc, when that's not something they're accustomed to doing. This school nurtures the explorative nature while beginning to reign the kids in to get them used to what they'll be getting in Kindergarten. Perhaps this more nurturing environment would work for your son? I know it costs more, but I've found it to be incredibly worth it for my also-curious, now second grade son.

That all being said, I wholeheartedly agree that you need to find another preschool. If you're currently using the public school system, yes, this probably means having to shell out some bucks for something private. Even enrolling him part-time in a daycare might be an awesome experience for him! He'll get all the "education" of a preschool (A-B-Cs and 1-2-3s) with the socialization skills of a daycare. And preschool is NOT required, so it's up to you how much or how little you want him in that environment. Childcare settings are significantly more flexible when it comes to this. Couple days a week, couple hours a day could work wonders.

Best of luck to you on this!!

I know this is a little disheartening, but just think about this way...Maybe your son needs another school to attend. Im sure this one is not the only one, find him a school where they have more patience. It may be the best thing for him anyway, based on the way this school does things. Good luck and he will be just fine, he probably doesn't need any special reading group or testing, remember he is only 3, just give him another chance.

Don't cry it willbe okay. I do not think it is your son, I believe it is the teacher, as an educator she should know that some kids warm up to school slower and this is not the military. Maybe you should try looking for another preschool this might not be the place for him and he feels uncomfortable(kids have a good sense of these types of things) I would just suggest looking for schools that are not as strict as this one. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this and he's only in preschool.

I am so sorry you are experiencing this, the preschool is obviously not right for him and they also sound like they have no clue how to help children. He is over 3 right? You need to contact the elementary school that your child would go to our do you have a sedol program you can contact or even the early childhood intervention and they can connect you with the person at your sons elementary school. THey will test him and have him evaluated, it is nothing but puzzels and listen to his speech and hearing etc. They will then tell you where he should go and what to do to help him. Do you have any places near you that offer OT occupational therapy? Call them and see if they take your insurance and have him evaluated there. Your local library does do free reading times you can sign up for and there are programs like kindermusic etc for preschoolers or gymnastics classes. You can even call your pedatrician and have him give you some places that are close by that I mentioned and call them to have him evaluated to make sure there is nothing interferring with his learning and maybe help you find the right school for him. What town/state do you live in? I can help you wiht numbers in IL. you can google them too for your area. Once again I am sorry the school is so disapointing, it is not you or your child , they are the ones that are sad, sad that they cant help children. You are a great mom and I am proud of you for doing what you need to do for your child!
J.

Maybe you should heed the advice of the teachers and 'start softer'. It sounds like he truly isn't ready for pre-school and trust me, they've worked with hundreds of kids and typically make good judgment calls when it comes to this sort of thing.

Yes, teachers need to be able to accommodate the various needs of students but there is a level of preparedness necessary in order for your son to be successful. Your best bet would be to check in to social or play classes for your child, like a Gymboree, Little Gym, a reading group at the Library, or any group that meets regularly where he actually gets the chance to practice his social skills and the skills necessary to be able to function in pre-school. Maybe even enroll him in daycare a few times a week so he gets used to being around other kids, sitting quietly for circle time, sharing toys and games with other kids. He's definitely not a bad kid. He just doesn't sound ready. If you think this is a health or developmental problem, perhaps call the pediatrician.