Anyone Have Experience with Ferber Sleep Methods for a Toddler?

Yes - I did the ferber method with probably all of my children (5). Some it worked faster than others, but I did it when they were all much younger 6-12 months. My daughter was difficult at 2 and did not want to stay in her room for nap or bed. I set up the normal routine at both times, 2-3 books and then bed time. I started with sitting on her bed until she fells asleep (about 4-5 days), then I moved to the floor beside her bed (about 2-3 days), then outside her room with the door open where she could see me. Within 2 -3 weeks she was fine. I closed the door and sat outside at the end and as long she could hear me respond, she felt safe. I had my own book with me at all times to read and pass the time. I felt less frustrated since I was enjoying a book myself. Just remember, it won't last forever. Before you know it, it will seem like just a phase. My husband was gone a lot too, and I had a newborn, so I know it is tough - Just try to stay consistent if possible. I the newborn needs to be with, so be it. 2-3 weeks may seem like eternity at the time, but if it works, it will be worth it. Good Luck!

Hi J.,
What is Ferber? LOL...Seriously, I've never heard of it.
Any how, When my oldest daughter was 2, we were preparing for our 2nd daughter. She was really happy for us to have another baby, she practiced every day with her minnie mouse doll on how to rock, bathe, feed, and put to sleep her baby. She wasn't one to go to bed really early and never on her own. So we were learning on how she should lay down in her new big girls bed and in the same room with her new baby sister when she was coming. It hardly ever worked, because she would say she was scared of the big room and the big bed. So I went in her room and showed her that there was nothing to be afraid of in her room. I sat next to her every night, read her a book and sing her a few songs. I would rock her until she would fall asleep. I've done this until she was 5, did it with my other one as well. They both loved it and at times still ask me to sing to them. I will on occasions (they are now 10 years and 12 years old). We have a two year old as well, I still hold her, read to her and sing to her as well. But sometimes she just wants to cuddle. When she's all through with the cuddling she will go crawl up into her own bed and go to sleep. I think at times she just gets too much of mommy and gets a little burnt out. Good Luck!!

I have 2 boys 19 months apart. After weeks of trying to get the older one to bed while being tired from the baby all day, we put a gate on his door and gave him quiet toys to play with. We did that almost a year and a half ago, and it still is working (mostly). I think he just needed to wind down on his own before he fell asleep - often on the floor. I know it sounds lazy, but it stopped our bedtime fights. Good luck - and Mr. Potato Head was a good choice for us.

Our 3 year old son had the same problem! AHHHHH! We would be in his room for 2 + hours some nights waiting for him to fall asleep. After our new baby came, we didn't have time for it, so we bribed him to stay in his room alone. We sat outside his open door at first, and then moved a little farther away each night till he was comfortable. He'd get a small prize in the AM if he could do it. (Sticker, candy, etc.) I don't normally use bribery so didn't feel to bad about it for this one situation. It WORKED! Within 2 weeks he never needed us again, and we stopped the rewards after about a month. He's 9 now and it was never an issue again. Good luck! I feel for you!

I haven't had any experience with Ferber, but I thought I'd mention that I read Supernanny's book. She addresses this issue in there. Her methods work for us!

Hello!

I have 2 girls about the same age apart as yours, so I know what you are going through! :o) Emily, my oldest, was moved into a toddler bed when we moved into a new home (she was then 23 months old) a month before Haley was born. The first month or so was very crazy because she would constantly get out of her bed and loved her new freedom. The other Mom was right...Ferber doesn't work with kids this age because of the freedom.

I know you mentioned NOT wanting to use a baby gate, but we did and it worked very well. At first we put it at the end of the hall just before she could get access to the steps or guest bath. She would roam the hall at all kinds of crazy hours! Then we moved it to just past our door (which is close to her's), thus reducing the space she had to roam. Eventually, we moved it to her door, so she realized she needed to stay in her room.

Each time we would hear her wandering, we would go out to her, tell her it was time for night-nights and place her back in bed. Little by little she got the message and within a month, she was staying put. It was a long month, but in graduating states, it taught her where she needed to be and we reassured her each time.

Good luck!

Rule #1 is be consistent. A good bedtime routine - it sounds like you might need to start with a longer one - starting with a snack, a bath, maybe some calming lotion, stories, songs, etc. Keep it the same every night until she gets it that once you say your final goodnight you are not staying. Once she gets it maybe you can reduce the number of books or songs. We also play a CD for our kids at night (I recommend Jim Brickman - calming piano stuff). When they wake up in the night it usually just takes us re-starting the cd or even put it on repeat. We put a doorknob cover on the door to my sons room and this worked great - my daughter freaked if the door was shut so we bargained a few special items, a new Dora blanket and nightlight that would be taken away if she leaves the room. There is nothing wrong with keeping them confined to their room - some people freak about this, but the crib is a confining tool and in the case of an emergency you need to know where your toddler is, you don't want her wandering the halls. I know how hard this can be, my son was simple, my daughter not so much so I wish you good luck!

let me know the advice you get i have the sane problem with my 5 yr old....good luck

I have 2 boys 9yrs. and 22 mo. I'm would like to tell you what I do with both of them and you can pick and choose if you would like to try any of it. With my 9 yr old, he has time to wind down. During school time, he goes to bed a 1/2 hour earlier and gets that time to watch shows in his room and just wind down. It really helped his sleeping efforts. If you think about it, it's really hard to go from 100 mph to sleep without winding down first. Also with him, we have always made it very clear that when we say it is time for bed, we really mean it. With my youngest, he is still in his crib because he has never attempted to climb out. He doesn't have any sleep issues though either. I take him to bed (no paci, bottle, or sippy It's always been this way) I lay him down, cover him up, turn on the aquariam on the side of the crib, close the blinds (to make sure to distinguish night from day. They are opened as soon as I get him up and closed during any sleep), close the door and walk out. It is very rare that we have any issues with this. He usually goes right to sleep. I hope that some of this has been of help to you. I think perhaps you both just need to find a comfortable routine, something that signals her body that it is time to go to sleep. Good luck! If I can be of anymore help to you or answer any questions for you, just write me back. Shannon G.

Tried it with a 22-month old light sleeper - didn't work in our case. She simply cried until she physically made herself sick. It wasn't worth it to us, but she is an only. We went to the toddler bed thinking if she knew she could get out, she wouldn't be afraid to be in her own bed. WRONG - that just let her have more freedom to sneak into our room after a while. When I caught her doing that, I would scold her and send her back to bed only to get up later and find her sleeping on the cold, hard floor. I couldn't handle that and now she sleep with us. I have faith, however, that she will not be a 1st grader still sleeping in my bed.

I might offer this suggestion, however... have you tried making her a little bed in your bedroom floor so that she doesn't feel so far away from you? I'm sure she's probably feeling a little overwhelmed with the new baby and now having to share mommy and daddy. You can gradually start moving it toward the door and later into her own room. Good luck!

Hi there J., I have not experienced the Ferber sleep method but I can share with you what worked for my, at the time 24 month old. She loves to make crafts, so I took a piece of poster board and pasted on a smaller version of a sticker chart. It also included her bed with her animals on it, our car and the store from which she was able to pick out a toy. On another piece of poster board, I made a sticker chart for every day. I explained to her if she sleeps in her room in her bed without mommy and daddy she can get a sticker. Then if she got a whole week with stickers filled, she got to go to the toy store and pick out a toy. It worked within less than two weeks. I hope this helps you, good luck!

We didn't use the Ferber method but my now 6 year old son didn't sleep through the night until he was 4. We finally let him pick out a comfortable chair (he picked out a moon chair) and let him sleep in the chair, on the floor in his sleeping bag, or in his bed- his choice. I fought with him through two pregnancies over three years before compromising. I did the fighting, the gates the setting in his room for hours, all of that but this is what worked for us. Good Luck!

I am pretty sure that the Ferber method is really for babies. If your daughter can get out of bed then I doubt the Ferber method will work for her. The Ferber method is all about letting a baby calm herself to sleep.

However, the method that Brenda mentioned below is a better method for toddlers. Supernanny uses a similar method.

I did this with my then 2.5 yo son. It worked wonderfully, and it's more respectful and gentle than Ferber.
Dr. Jay's method: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp