Any Other Moms Frustrated with TTC??

Hi Laura,
You can buy ovulation tests over the counter. They are in the same area as the pregnancy tests. You use them the same way you would a pregnancy test (pee on a stick). I got prego using this method & so have a number of my friends.
Good luck.

We might be leading parallel lives. We are the same age, have a child the same age and have been married the same amount of time! We also have been trying to get pregnant for the second time with difficulty. The first time I got preggers the first month of trying. We tried this past summer and fall to get pregnant for about 7 months. I saw my ob/gyn who tested my thyroid (common cause of infertility) and it was fine. I was getting so stressed out over everything that I decided to give myself a break and I am back on the pill. My doc said I wasn't too old and that she felt that it was ok to put things on hold for a little while. She also said she has a number of patients who report only being able to get pregnant the month after going on the pill. When I talk to friends it seems that the second pregnancy difficulty is really common. Good luck!

I ended up with secondary fertility issues after the birth of my son. While it is still a little early in your trying phase, keep on top of things. Things did not work out for us since we chose not to pursue fertility treatments. In hindsight, had I been more assertive in the beginning perhaps things may have turned out differently. Best of luck!

Laura - Good for you for wanting to take charge. Call your ob now to talk and get some basic bloodwork done. At 36, you should not wait a year and see what happens and your 2ww spotting may be a sign of something. If your dr won't help and still says it's too soon, get a new one. Like R.M. I found fertilityfriend.com very helpful for support through 2 yrs of TTC and miscarriage. You can learn a lot more about charting there and there are a lot of women in the same boat. Stock up on ovulation sticks or consider a clear blue easy fertility monitor. Good luck!

laura, may have to look at your life itself,is it too busy,too stressful? hopefully while "ttc" your attitude and heart is in the right place. remember to have fun and trust god. i can't tell you how many people i know whose prayers were answered by just trusting him. good luck!

Hi Laura,
I know exactly how you feel...my daughter just turned 3 and I'm 38 years old and have been trying for over a year. I feel that my clock is ticking louder and louder everyday!!! I went to my dr. who ran blood tests that my insurance didn't cover (1,000.00)to find out that my ovaries were still functioning. Since our insurance will not pay for any infertility; I'm stuck and having to feel that if it is meant to be it will happen. But I had a devastating loss last year and my Dad passed away in a car accident; so I am hoping getting through the year of "firsts" and not so stressed it will happen. C. E

The best advice I have is just relax. I have had many friends who have had difficulty trying. Some just keeped trying (one for 5 years) and others have adopted then conceived naturally. If you get stressed about it your body is less likely to do what it does naturally. Not to mention taking the fun and intimacy out of the time you spend with your husband. Hang in their and just have fun.

I got pregnant right away with our first, only to have it end in a MC. After waiting after the MC, we decided to try again. It took a long time, in my mind, but to the doctors standards, they said not to worry. It was 6 months. It was planned out timing and everything. With our last baby, it took 8 months of planned out timing. Now we are blessed with 2 healthy happy babies. Keep trying!

You sound just like me! We has our first without even trying, so when we tried for #2 we thought it would happened quickly. After 6 months of trying (really 4 months b/c I didn't know when I was ovuluating) I went to the doctor. She said the average is 6 months and not to worry until after a year of trying. I was so frustrated. She also told me I could take my Basal temp every day and to record it to make sure my hormone level was going up during ovulation. Sure enough by the end of 6 months of trying we got pregnant! It sure felt like a long time, but really after talking with so many friends who have had problems getting pregnant with child #1, I bite my tongue about "how hard it was to get prego" the 2nd time. It will happen-don't worry!!

We are in the same boat and it has only been 2 months (I am going crazy). I am 35 years old and have an 18 month old daughter. We got pregnant on our honeymoon so we thought the second time would be just as easy and it is frustrating. Our neighbors are also trying for their second and it has been 6 months (with 2 months of bad timing). We laugh about it with them because baby-making sex is just not the same as regular sex.

I think "second child infertility" is pretty common. We might plan a ovulation vacation so that we can actually get away from it all and just try to have fun. Good luck.

I feel your pain! I am currently in the 2WW right now. This is my 5th month trying and it feels like an eternity. I did read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility", joined www.fertilityfriend.com and have been charting with my temps, using ovulation predictor tests (all months good timing) and still no pregnancy. My husband keeps reminding me to "chill out" because it has only been 5 months. I am happy that my doctor was proactive though. I was sent for an ultrasound to make sure I have no cysts/fibroids in the uterus or ovaries, bloodwork was done to check ALL my hormone levels, and a semen analysis was done. ALL tests were OK. SO I am praying and trying to be patient but believe me I know it is hard. I know how crushing it is when AF comes. If your worried go to your doctor to have preliminary tests done like blood work to check your hormones (these are most affected by age). Good luck and Baby Dust to you!!!!!!

Hi!
I can totally relate. Our daughter is 2 years and 3 months and we have been trying for about 5-6 months with no results. At this point it is getting to be very frustrating. My doctor hasn't said much. I am in the process of switching doctors in April so we will see what this one says.

What worked for my husband and I is that I used the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor PLUS I used ovulation test sticks. My husband and I started trying around day 10 (my cycle was around 26-28 days a month)and keep trying every day till about day 18. We hadn't tried this is previous months, and that is what worked for us. I also took my temperature every morning as well.

Maybe that could work for you.

Hi Laura,

I just turned 33 in February, have been married to my husband for almost 3 years and have been raising his 9 y.o. son for the past 4 1/2 years. We have been TTC for about 15 months now. In January, after about a year of trying, my doc performed a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy to look at all my goods and make sure everything is in working order...it is. He put me on fertility meds for a month and we did a semen analysis, which didn't look so great. Last week we saw a reproductive endocrinologist and thought he would begin by discussing artificial insemination...But he jumped straight to IVF. Although we would really like to conceive the old fashioned way, at this point, I am tired of waiting and will go to the ends of the earth to get pregnant. However, because of my travel schedule in April (my best friend is getting married in TN and I just can't miss her wedding), it looks like I'll have to wait until May for the procedure. I am going NUTS, but we're still trying naturally in the meantime of course. I know exactly what you are going through, and it is especially hard for me raising another woman's child and making all of the sacrifices a mother makes without ever having my own baby. And to make matters worse my younger, 28 y.o sister called me in January announcing that she was pregnant. She's been married for less than a year and wasn't even trying. She and her husband got really drunk at a Christmas party and just weren't careful.

My OB/Gyn told me that generally, for women under 35, they don't start testing until a year of TTC, but for women over 35, they start after just 6 months, so if I were you, I'd call my doc ASAP and let him or her know that you're having problems and want to discuss it. The fertility center my doc sent me to has an office in Gurnee and in Crystal Lake..The Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago (Drs. Jain and Sherbahn). Dr. Jain showed me a graph of their success rates as compared to other fertility ceners in the area, and theirs were much higher (why? I don't know). They also have a website with lots of useful info, but I cannot locate the web address. I'm sure if you do a search, you'll have no problem finding it.

Just hang in there, believe me I know that it is hard, and I totally feel your pain...every month. If you ever want to chat, feel free to send me an email... ____@____.com

And thanks to everyone else who responded..your info was helpful. I'll probably go out today and buy that book!

No worries, it worked once it should work again. For whatever reason it took my husband and I three years to concieve #2 we ended up going to a specialist and thankfully ended up pregnant that month. This will be a bit of a pain in the butt but I recommend doing an ovulation test you can buy anywhere everymonth for atleast 3 months and see if that helps, don't have intercourse more than once every 3 days, boxer shorts for the husband and ask you Dr. if perhaps during chilbirth your uterus might have tilted. If no results within 3 months and given your age you might want to consider going to a specialist or getting a second opinion from an OBGYN. Best of luck!!!!

I understand your frustration. I have a 3-yr-old son and have been married to my husband for 4 years. When he was 1, my husband and I started trying for #2. We got pregnant within a couple months...just like with our 1st. However, after only a couple weeks of finding out, I woke up in the night (thinking I had wet the bed) bleeding very heavily. It turns out I had a molar pregnancy. The doctor did a D&C a week later.

The doctor told us to wait about a year before trying again. That was hard. We started trying 11 months later. (D&C in March 2006, started trying February 2007.) We were thinking it'd take just a couple months like with the last 2... nope. I know what it feels like to experience "symptoms" only to take a test and have it be negative. It was very frustrating and depressing. The way I began to look at it, though, was to thank God for giving us one more month with Gabriel as our only child.

Our doctor told us that we couldn't be tested for any reasons we weren't getting pregnant until we'd been trying for a year. So I said to myself, my husband, friends, God, that if I didn't get pregnant this month (March), we were going back to the doctor for tests. Well...needless to say...we are pregnant now. Halleluia! I found out on March 12, after a little more than a year of trying. There's still part of me that's a little skeptical, since my first dr appt isn't until April 9. However, with my concerns about what happened last time (molar pregnancy), we did get some blood tests to check my hcg levels to make sure they're normal...and they are.

Just hang in there... I know how you feel.

I am a 43 year old mother of a 14 year old daughter Sydney. My husband and I had been married for over eight years before Sydney was born. After finding out I was finally preganant, we could not believe it. We did not want to got through any fertility drugs route. I now know that it was my thyroid issue that prevented me from getting pregnant. Many years later after it was removed, I learned that it might have been the root cause of my infertility. So what I would recommend to you, if you have not already done so. Is have a complete check up and ask your doctor about your thryroid. Many women have this problem and doctors don't check this out unless you bring it up. GOOD LUCK.

mom in chicago

I am assuming that by TTC you are talking about trying to conceive. I have been trying with my boyfriend for 3 months now, sad thing is I am about the same way. I have thought about taking folic acid and making every thing the right conditions for conceiving, but I am just afraid that too much folic acid can be hampering rather than helpful. I feel your pain

I agree with Karen -- the Taking Charge of Your Fertility book is a must read if you are trying to conceive.

This can be pretty frustrating. If you haven't already, I highly suggest picking up a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. I found this book to be extremely helpful in understanding the signs of my fertility and how my body worked. It's really a must-read for every woman I think. Good luck and hang in there!!

I was just about that age when we tried to conceive #3 and it took about 6 - 7 months -- I had NO problems with the first 2. Also, I had since learned that it was a hormonal thing. The book that helped me understand all that is called "What Your Doctor May NOT Tell You About Premenopause" by Dr. Lee. It is a must read for all women. Hope that is helpful.

Hi Laura. It looks as though a lot of us can relate to you. I too conceived my first within the first month (and after only being married one month) with no problems. When he turned a year, we started trying again. Again, I got pregnant within the first month or two, only to have a m/c at around 5 weeks. 3 months later I was pregnant again, but sadly that resulted in a chemical pregnancy and I got my period just a day or two late. I wound up seeking help from an RE. They ran a whole lot of tests and could really only find one thing (which I don't know that I ever believed). That I was releasing immature eggs due to a hormone imbalance. The only way to correct that was Clomid or injectable fertility meds. When Clomid caused negative side effects, we moved on to the injectables. 3 months of those and I never once got pregnant....and this was with 3-4 eggs!!! My RE suggested moving on to IVF. Well, during a clomid challenge test (which is pretty standard in ivf, I guess), I got pregnant...and now have a beautiful son. In fact, I surprisingly got pregnant again (am now 15 weeks) when he was 9 months old and still nursing. Our bodies are incredible, but at the same time, can really tick us off. At your age, I'm also 36, so am definitely not calling you old, I would consult with someone. They recommend seeking help after 6 months of trying when you're over the age of 35. Secondary infertility is very common. You could have something as simple as a hormone imbalance. But, if your insurance allows, I would get some blood tests run.
And, to the people posting to you that you should just relax, PLEASE!!! If you've never been through this, you have NO idea what it's like. I knew someone that fought w/infertility for years, but until I went through it, I never knew what she was really feeling. The worst thing you can tell someone in our shoes is to relax. It's just not gonna happen. I wish you the best of luck and will be watching for an update on you. Good luck!

With both my 2nd and 3rd it took a year of trying. It was really hard and crushing at times. My Dr too said not to worry, easy for him. Hang in there and try to have fun trying.

We tried for about 18 months with #3 so it was a long, tough time. I had tubl surgery in December to try to unblock a tube (that turned out to look fine during the surgery!) We were going to do IUI and decided to wait until May to start and I got pregnant in January and I'm due in September!

Usually though, for a woman over 35 it would be normal to do some testing at 6 months to see if there is any cause. I would go back to your doctor or find a new one who is more willing to listen to your concerns.

I wouldn't let the worry that something is "wrong" take over though. I do think part of my problem was stress, because once I had the surgery and accepted that we were going to do IUI I got pregnant right away. Good luck!

Your request was talking in code a bit for me......... "with TTC" ...."wind up with AF".......... "queen of 2WW sympton spotting"

Sorry couldn't be of help.

Dear Laura,
You got a lot of advises. All of them are wonderful. Your DR told you - everything is OK, so, I think you are trying to hard and it gives you more stress. Did you try to use an alternative methods to calm yourself ( nutrition, massage, yoga, meditattions, visualization)? Maybe it helps you to enjoy time with your husband with out puting to much EMOTIONAL PRESSURE (I have to!) on you both. It is very hard, but if you will love each other with out thinking about a baby he/she will COMES. Good luck.
M.

You've gotten a lot of good information and interesting stories here. I just have one or two things to add, especially since you are 36 & time may not be so much a luxury anymore. (i'm almost 39 and preg w/2nd child after much trying). Anyhow if you don't get pregnant within a couple of months there are some routine blood tests for fertility screening your OBGYN should perform to make sure nothing really HAS changed since your first. Also you might want to consider either buying ovulation kits or following your Basal body temperature so that you know approximately when you are ovluating each month. Information on how to follow your Basal body temp can be found at the Baby Center website or you can Google it. Best wishes!!!