Any Moms Going Back to or Went Back to Graduate School?

My friend's Husband, did that.
But it was very hard.
When a spouse/parent is back in school, it requires a lot of time/dedication and time away from home... to study and go to classes etc.
Even if some classes are online, it requires a lot of time. And time to be ONLY studying. And the rest of the family, understanding that.
My Husband went back to school too, after we had kids. So I lived it too.
During the entire time my Husband and my friend's Husband was in school... our Spouses were not just available any ol' time. And scheduling things, was done according to the Student Spouse. LOTS of times, continually, my Husband and my friend's Husband, could NOT make it to most family holidays or gatherings. Because, they have tons of school work and projects to complete as well as keeping up their grades.

Anyway, while my friend's Husband and my own Husband was in school... THAT was the, priority. I was like a single parent, while my Husband was in school. My friend was like that too.

There are many non-traditional students nowadays. ie: parents.

Once you go to school, you NEED to, make sure you and your Husband talk about it... and make SURE he knows and realizes... that you will NOT be able to do and be, everything for everyone all the time. HE WILL HAVE TO... .help ALL around, and with the kids and with the home and with everything. If he does not help and pick up the slack for what you do not have time for... there will be lots of conflicts. And you will be very stressed.

The Student Advisor, at my Husband's school, made SURE to tell students who were married and had kids... that it will be very, strenuous. Because, going to school requires a lot of commitment and toggling their roles as a parent and spouse, at the same time, is not easy. And in fact, per my Husband's college program, the Advisor said that some married with kids students had marital problems (and divorces) while they were going to school. Because of the time commitment, of going to school. So that means, your Husband/family, will have to all understand your "job" as a student. Because your going to school, will impact the family.

Your Husband AND kids... NEEDS TO KNOW, that studying is your priority. And that they ALL NEED to help. You will not be available lots of times. When my Husband was going to school, my kids were great about it. They were young. They understood. They understood that when Daddy was studying (which was all the time), they could NOT go in that room and disturb him. BUT he did make time, on his breaks, to be with them and do things. And he would show them what he is studying, they understood why Daddy was studying. And when he graduated... they were SOOOOOOOOO proud of him, and seeing him graduate.
It was a good life lesson for them. Seeing their parent, studying so hard, for a good cause.

Being a student-parent, requires LOTS of discipline. On your part. And the others.

And even if you have online courses, that does not mean it will be easier. My Husband had online courses. And it still required lots of time. Undisturbed time. And there are still deadlines etc. and requirements to interact with the Professor and the other students in that "online" group.

My Husband was in school for close to 4 years.
My friend's Husband, was in school for about 2 years.
So, you need to and your Husband needs to, UNDERSTAND that... timeline. Of being a student. Your family has to understand that TOO.
ie: there were lots of times, my Husband could NOT attend family functions. Due to his school commitments. Me and my kids would attend those family gatherings without him. AND I would have to "explain" to the other relatives "My Husband couldn't come, because he is studying....he has a project... he has deadlines...." And not all relatives, understood that. So I ALSO had to also deal with, other relatives/family irks & snarky comments about it, like "Well he should have made time to attend...." etc.
So you need to also realize those things too.
I did NOT make, demands upon my Husband while he was going to school. All those years. School, was the priority and the time he needed, for it. I tried to make it as easy upon him as I could. I wanted him, to do well, and get straight A's. But it was not easy, on me. It was stressful. But you suck it up.

IF that graduate degree is something that you REALLY want, AND WILL USE... and then pursue a job in it, then sure. It would be something to do.
BUT, if you are just pursuing a graduate degree, to keep busy or to pursue some idealization, but will not... use that degree for getting a job in that field, then... you need to rethink, your reasons... for wanting to get that degree. Because the bottom line is: Is going to school for your Masters, necessary? Or not?
My Husband used his degree to get a better job. And he did.
My friend's Husband as well. For him, it was REQUIRED to have a Masters, for the position he was being groomed for.

I did my undergrad and grad in four years. How I did it was I have amazing kids. Everyone pulled up the slack so I only, haha only, had to work full time and go to school full time.

Could not have done it without my kids.

I think it has to be the correct timing. I had already gotten a Bachelor's degree without children and wasn't sure about the Masters.I won a scholarship and took two more classes but dropped one.My children were dancing around me while I typed throwing footballs, etc. and the dog would be leaping to get it. Truthfully it was terrible and I was a wreck and... Unfortunately my father took ill and eventually died of cancer. I was emotionally unable to pick up after that. I decided it would be cheaper and in my mind easier to go to school and acquire a paralegal certificate. once my older son was in the service. I took classes at night. I was horribly guilt ridden.My younger son would play at a neighbors when my husband was working and he would call constantly while I was driving home. I was terrified in the dark and the snow in our old beater\. I got through Paralegal school. But I was unable to find a job, and then got sick with cancer. UGH. I am alright now.(I hope nobody is sick of hearing about my illness) and my son had to be treated for bipolar. So I have a job with insurance that pays little but takes care of that end...ok,maybe too much information but anyway. If you want to go back to school think about and weigh out your timing.It is wonderful to have the choice to do it and I too still want a master's degree and don't plan on giving up on that dream. But just know that sometimes our lives have some interferences.Good luck!

E., I am in graduate school now for Pharmacy (married, but I don't have children), and I know a number of parents who have done it. I have found it challenging, and know from friends that to coordinate everything with children is even more so.

The biggest thing is to make sure you have a strong support network. Graduate studies require a lot of work outside the classroom, and you need to make sure you will have the time and resources to dedicate to your studies. Make sure you have your husband, children, family & friends on board in your decision.

A single-mom friend of mine went back for her masters, while working full-time. She enlisted the help of many friends to arrange for childcare in the evenings when she had classes, or needed to join a study group on the weekends. Even people who are married with kids still need to manage a careful schedule, to make sure that when one isn't home for young kids, the other is, & pickups are coordinated, etc.

Be aware that there will be a shift in your priorities - the house may not stay as clean as you would like, you may have to miss out on some events because of your classes, or exams. Money may be tighter, esp. if you plan to pay for classes without taking loans.

Take the time now, before you begin classes, to build a strong relationship with your husband. When classes start, you will have shifting roles, between mother, wife & student. It's hard to remember sometimes to make sure to put equal priority on being a wife - take the time to have dates with each other, and to talk.

Also, make sure to protect your relationship. You'll be in classes & on campus with people who are likely younger than you, who are able to spend time with their SO daily at school. Many of my married classmates (myself included) take extra effort to always mention our spouses. We also formed friendships with each other & set up occasional social events where our spouses & children could join in.

Graduate school has a higher percentage of "non traditional" students (those that didn't go straight from high school into college & have yet to enter the work force), and some fields more so than others. I helped form a group @ my school last year for nontrad pre-health professional students, because we saw gaps in the support that was offered on campus for those in such a rigorous study program. See if your school has something similar - talk to your advisor, & other classmates, once you start classes.

Grad studies are not easy, but they can be very rewarding. If you are just 'thinking' about it now, make sure that it is something you want. It will take a lot of work, and put a strain on your household during the time you are engaged in school, and it will be very difficult to continue & succeed if you aren't going after something important to you.

Best of luck! T. =-)

I did my reading endorsement while I was pregnant and then as a new mom. In OR most of the classes are actually online, so I was able to do it when I wasn't so sick. I did have to take a break when the kiddos were born, but I managed it.

You have to have a reliable schedule, you have to know that your house is going to get very dirty, messy, and that you won't be able to find things often. But, it can be cleaned up eventually.

Also, there is no harm or shame in doing it one class a term either online or evening or weekend. I got through my first 2 years of undergrad that way, and while it did take 7 to finish, in the end, I did finish. I whole heartedly recommend that you try one class and see what you think of the reality of going to school.

I am looking into this myself. Do you know what kind of graduate degree you want? If so, first you should research the schools that offer that degree. I promise you, once you fill out the online forms telling the school that you are interested in their programs, they will relentlessly send you e-mails and school literature.

The next thing you should do is call the school for an appointment to speak with an admissions counselor/advisor. This person will be able to tell you more about the program, the admission requirements, and whether or not you need to take prerequisite courses before even applying to the school.

Many reputable schools offer online classes, so you don't necessarily have to commute to the campus to watch the lectures. The school I have chosen as my best option has an internship program where you can be placed with an employer to work half time (and get paid a decent wage) while attending classes half time.

Good luck to you!

Hi - I am planning on. I decided not to a few years ago as my daughter was still pretty young. But I want the enrichment of a Masters so I WILL be going back probably September 2015. Not sure how I will manage it all. But I have to try.

I did my undergrad and graduate with kids and full-time work. It was ONLY possible because I wanted both degrees that badly, and I had 100% support from my husband and my kids.

It was worth it and I hope to see some benefit from my MBA at work soon, but I wouldn't recommend to NOT go if it is something that will help you or you want.
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Added - I'm seeing a lot of posts saying things like it will make you completely unavailable. Not true. I still took vacation with my family, attended most events, etc. I planned my school time around my family. Sunday's were typically my school work day, but I still caught all of the Pats games.

So I think it comes down to how well you manage time. School doesn't make life impossible, you just work it in. I did both degrees with kids, and neither caused me to not be the same mom I am today.

I completed my MBA when my kids were 5, 7, and 9...it was hard, but not miserable. Most people I know in school are also still at most of their kids games, etc. They stay up late or get up early to do school work. So maybe it just depends on where you go and how you manage your time/priorities.

Time management and lots of support. I am not getting my graduate degree but I went for my associates in drafting when my son was only 3 months old and am currently doing online classes for my bachelors in health care administration. I started this journey while carrying for my less than 1 year old nephew, a 4 and 7 year old nephews plus my 5 year old and 10 year old.
I have to dictate times to get assignments down. I work while the kids play outside or watch a movie. My husband is a HUGE help and I have a large support system.
Your house will become a mess, laundry and cleaning will fall behind but it can be done.
Good luck!