Hi, my son is 4. he is in vpk and at the same school he went to last year part time. i'm a SAHM, and with him all the time besides school. he had a hard time when school started with crying everyday and not participating in most everything. He has gotten better but still sometimes is upset when i leave him at school. one day last week i noticed that when i went to leave him he put his hands over his mouth and was about to cry, so i left quickly so as to not drag out my leaving (i used to work in daycare and know that this is the best for children having a hard time).
well today i dropped him off as usual, except his teacher was across the hall because it was a bit before they were ready to go into the class. i told him that he needed to go across the hall with the teacher, and he started shaking, and his face got flushed, and he put his hands to his mouth and looked like he was going to get sick. his cheeks puffed out and his eyes got teary. it was like he lost control of himself. i got down and told him to breathe deep, and he did, and i asked him if he wanted me to stay with him until his teacher came from across the hall and he said yes. he was still breathing deeply and shaking a little. his teacher came across the hall and he stood in line and calmed down. then i left. I felt so bad for him! his teacher has told me that he has cried before when they went across to another room to watch a movie when it rained outside, and a few times when she thought that he would cry but he didn't. i pretty sure it's not the school. my daughter went there and had the same teacher and she loved it. i was also told they would hire me if i got my DCF license which i had before. so if something is going on i don't think they would hire me, you know? my family and husbands family has anxiety issues, and i believe my son also has ocd as does his father and grandfather, (my son is very paticular about dirt and wet clothes, and always smells his fingers when he touches something. it's constant) the dr. said it was also an early sign of ocd.
so i guess my question is, does this sound like anxiety and if so, how do i ease it for him? my husband is the type that he doesn't want to face or think something is wrong with his kids, and i kinda jump the gun and want answers from drs. to make sure there is nothing wrong. i'm concerned about my son and don't like seeing him like that. please help with suggestions to ease what i think is anxiety.
well, i talked to his teacher this afternoon when i picked him up, and asked if he had ever done this before when having to change rooms. she said that no he hadn't. she said that he has been doing much better. she said that there were several kids who had a problem with going into a different room that he isn't the only one. also said that many kids didn't like going into the room where they have before care because of the confusion and all the kids they don't know. she also said it's normal and with age and maturity, he'll learn to cope better. thanks for your answers. oh, and i would definitely never put him on meds for anxiety. i am just overly sensitive and watchful of certain behaviors that are exhibited by both of my children because of the issues in the family.
Good Luck. As you know next year, he'll be in Kindergarten and it will be much more difficult. Hopefully, this year will help with the transition into next year. I come from a family with anxiety issues as well, my Dr says kids probably won't suffer from it until they are older. My husband would say the same thing. If you are still concerned I'd order some books from the library to get some additional insight.
I think you should pull him out and work with him yourself for another year... he's just immature, sensitive, and really not ready to thrive in that social environment. Pull him out and work on social skills and getting him to do things on his own without being by his side all the time.
It does sound like it might be a little bit of anxiety since it runs in the family, but you may be able to teach him how to cope without having to put him on meds.
Coping skills is what it seems like he's lacking.
I suggest you read the book The Sensory Team Handbook. I think you will find your answers there. These kids senses are at a heightened state. His skin is very sensitive. Also, educate before you vaccinate. There are children that cannot take the neuronal insult of the toxicity of the vaccines. If they are affected their nervous system becomes compromised. I would also check for heavy metal toxicity with a hair analysis test. There is a wonderful product on the market that is helping kids with theses issues. When my daughter hit puberty her anxiety levels went through the roof resulting in extreme violence. Once I got her glutathione levels up there were no more meltdowns. The toxic insult of vaccines are affecting the biochemistry of the body. My company just launched a new product this weekend that is straight ribocine. You cannot get this anywhere else. This is a pharmaceutical grade product that is research based and is backed by 17 peer reviewed studies. My daughter says she has more energy when she takes it. Email me at ____@____.com I have been on this journey a long time. My daughter was initially diagnosed with ADHD in second grade followed with PPD-NOS at age 11 and then heavy metal toxicity at age 12.
Each child is different. Just because something was ok for his sister, doesn't mean it is ok for him- just ask my brother!!!
Please don't label him, yikes. I have found in the children with who I have dealt that it is a lack of b vits, and too much- well go check on Dr. Feingold's diet, and you will see his well researched findings.
If you are a stay at home mom, why not let your son stay at home.
He is not needing some drug- he is not needing a drug. Maybe more time, maybe the Feingold program, but certainly not a label- maybe your husband's family has a need to do the Feingold program- you could save them all- give it a try. You could save your son alot of heartache.
And for now keep him home.
best, k
ps what kind of dr said this was an early sign of ocd? I'd like to have a chat w/ him, really.
hmm, I am not sure I understand how pulling your child out of school will help him socially. However, learning coping skills would be great, all kids have ways of dealing with their fears, he's not over sensitive or immature, he's a child! I would suggest doing playgroup activies and social things with him where you take him places to interract with other kids, while you are there. Over time you will be able to see what triggers his anxiety and act on it immediatly to help him deal.
Is it possible your child is just highly sensitive? Many highly sensitive children have a difficult time with transitions. I took this test online and it described my daughter to a tee - http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test_child.htm
Not that I like "labels" but understanding where they are coming from helps immensely.
If you think he may be, there is an excellent online parent's group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hscbook/
I definitely wouldn't pull him out of school. If he really is suffering from anxiety in social situations, the last thing you want to do is take him out of social situations -- it's tempting because you dont want your kid to suffer but it really is making him worse later on. Just be sensitive to how he's doing and be in good touch with the teachers and be proactive and watchful -- all things you're already doing!
It's called Sensory Processing Disorder. It used to be called Sensory Integration Dysfunction. When minor or major stressors hit the brain, it doesn't know how to process that information correctly and the signs and symptoms that you see occur. This needs to be checked out by a SIPT certified occupational therapist and also find someone who does reflex integration in your area like Masgutova Method or INPP. These programs help the brainstem learn to make the correct responses. He is not OCD/manic/ anxiety...he is a boy who is operating in brainstem. This should be corrected before proper school because then it will look like learning disabilities. PM me if you want to learn more.
I am sure that you already do this, however some kids are more emotional when it comes to going to school. Between my 2 girls it was like night and day one was like see ya and the other was like don't leave. Communication is very important. Always talk to him, before, on the way and after school. That will ease any anxiety he may be having and help you to decide whether it is really something to worry about or help him work through it.
