Another Sleep Question - 10 Month Old Night Nursing

Why are you trying to do everything but nurse her at night? I understand that you don't feel 100% well because you are getting interrupted sleep, so how about adjusting your life so that you take a nap during the day with one or both of your children when they nap? And, are you co-sleeping? Your body will fall right back to sleep if you don't have to wake up enough to be mobile. After a while, you may find that you hardly remember nursing during the night while laying down because you may stay in a drowsey state while nursing. The surge of prolactin has a relaxing/Valium effect on the brain. A bigger bed might be in order to accomodate this way of parenting. Maybe this is too much of a lifestyle shift in thinking about things, but that is how many nursing moms survive the early years. (See Dr. William Sears The Baby Book and La Leche League's the The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for support.)

Your daughter's issue is not about caloric nutrients, it's about maternal comfort and neurological organization that she is recieving when she night nurses. Many times babies this age are becoming too busy/taking in their world during thier waking hours to feel the need for this sort of care, but when she's quiet and your quiet, nature tells her she needs this. The suck, breath, swallow pattern is very neurologically calming & organizing. You are enabling her to build strong neuropathways that relate to emtional attachment, which relates to attention & concentration which benefit her for the rest of her life, particularly in school. (Google Allan Shore to see for yourself.) Intuitive mothering is another phase of a woman's development, if you decide to partake of it. It will stretch and grow you like no other way.

Good for you for being attuned to your daughter's persistence in trying to get you to figure out her needs! And goooo baby for demonstrating such perseverance in trying to get your mama to figure you out!

Every child is different, so if you find youself saying, "but my older wasn't this way..." just give that up and accept each individual's differences.

Happy adjusting.

I don't think your baby's waking has much to do with being hungry but you might think about other milestones she is hitting right now. When my daughter was 10 months old she was getting ready to walk. At 10 1/2 months, she woke up and started walking. This is also when she started sleeping through the night.
At other times prior to 10 1/2 months, she would wake many times as she got ready to hit another milestone. I would try to judge by how recently she'd eaten and how much she was growing if she was really hungry or if it was something else. If I decided not to feed her (we breastfed for 18 months), I would lean over her crib, hugging her with my arms but not holding her to my body and just rock back and forth. She was standing, then sitting, and would finally go back to sleep. It was agony, I admit. And it took a long time to get her used to this pattern. This is also something your husband could do so you can catch up on a little sleep.
I sympathize. After 10 months you're really ready for some serious sleep. Hang in there. It will get better!!!
A.

Is she teething? Seems like at about his age teeth start to shift around at night causing waking. And the fact that she wants to nurse may be what she needs for comfort, unless it seem like she really is hungry...

I was in the same position -- I had big baby girl who loved to nurse & got in the habit of waking up for it at night. The only way to break the habit is to let her cry it out. The key is that you have to let her cry until she falls asleep on her own. If you go in and pick her up and nurse her after a predetermined amount of time (say 20 min or whatever), she will just learn that the longer she cries she will eventually get to nurse. This sounds brutal, but if you let her cry herself to sleep she will learn that you aren't coming and after a few days she will stop. If that sounds too difficult you can check on her and reassure her every 10 or 15 min, but don't stay in her room too long and don't nurse her! Her daytime eating habits will probably improve because she seems to be nursing so much at night that she's not interested in solids. In my case, I wasn't consistent with the sleep training and suffered for a long time until I got so exhaustd i had no choice but to do it. Ultimately my baby learned to sleep through the whole night, and we're all so much happier!!

Have you talked to a La Leche League leader? My 11 month old "big" girl (wearing 18 month clothes) wakes at night at least by 5:30am and I just bring her to bed and nurse so we can go right back to sleep. It was wonderful when someone showed me how to nurse lying down. So the waking at night doesn't bother me because it only takes a moment to bring baby to bed and latch on. Then we both go right back to sleep. (I have a bed rail on the side of my bed and a body pillow between baby and the bed rail so she can't fall between the mattress and the rail. Some people just put their mattress/boxspring on the floor, but my husband didn't want to do that.)

You have certainly gone through a lot of work fighting what your baby seems to want/need. This is my 3rd baby and it's easier to go with the flow. Maybe your baby just wants to be with you.

Best wishes finding a solution that works for both of you.

Hello,
I feel your pain, When our son was about 6mo and got his first tooth all changed for us. He was up every 2 hours sometimes more. We went to a sleep seminar given by Karen Pollack at DayOne center in Walnut Creek. I believe her website is babiestosleep.com. If not just google her name and you will find it. She had some good ideas. I think the seminar was only 50.00 for both my husband and I. She will also come to your home and help but that's approx 300-500. Check out her website though. Anyways, good luck and remember nothing lasts forever and the one thing you can count on is change.

My 26 lb 9 month old still wakes up at night for nursing. It's taken her a long time to sleep for longer stretches. We put her down for the night at 6:30, and she usually wakes up around 11 or so and then again around 5 or so. This last week she's skipped her 11 PM nursing two of the seven nights, but then the next night she's back up twice.

When she went through a period of waking every two hours, at about 5 months, I just let her CIO if it had been less than three hours since I had fed and changed her. This meant that we did spend a few nights with her screaming in her room for a bit, but I desperately needed more than two hour blocks of sleep. That stretched her out to about three hours which was do-able. And as the time has passed she's slowly been sleeping for longer blocks. I also give her time to make sure she's really awake - last night she gave a few good loud cries at 3 AM, but I waited just a couple of minutes and she settled herself back down.

As far as the food, it does seem that if she has a good dinner with some high fat food she's more likely to sleep better (although this really could just be my imagination, since two nights ago she actually went ten hours and I hadn't fed her quite as much dinner as I wanted to!) It may have more to do with less peeing in the night b/c of less liquid intake than fuller tummy, even though during the day she doesn't seem to care much if her diaper is damp.

You may need to back off on the nursing a bit to get her more interested in solids. I recently switched from "nurse, then eat" to "eat, then nurse" and it's helped her eat more solids.

Talk to a LLL leader for help!

Hi M.,

Hey, it's ok to just put her between you and daddy and nurse as needed. She WILL grow out of this as well but babies need to be nursed up until 12-24 months. I am not a doctor but, as a mom of 2 big babies (8 lbs. 11 oz. at birth), who are very healthy now, I can recommend breast feeding. You will sleep and so will everyone else. Besides, it trims the baby fat off of us and daddy may even bond with her more. It takes a family....

Hugs,
T.

so I don't think her waking is correlated with calorie needs She is just habituated to eating at night and getting that bonding time with you so you will need to break that habit if you want to sleep through the night. We did this with my 10 mo. old son who is now 2 and asks to go to sleep now with some affection and a kiss good night. So get your husband involved and when baby wakes up have him go and soothe her and she will cry and scream and you have to be strong and committed to not nursing her to sleep. She will learn your new routine and accept that night time is not eating or fun time. It took 3 nights of this routine and with each night the fussing/screaming lessened a little bit. It is hard but worth it-by the 4th night our son slept through the whole night and has been except when sick. Do this over a weekend when you and your husband can take naps to make up for the loss of sleep you will experience and not have to work. be strong and committed, once you start the process do not give up or you have to start all over again
good luck

My son was the same way, and what worked for us was just to go with it. We started him in his crib every night, but when he woke up to nurse the first time I just brought him to bed with me. So he could nurse when he wanted and I didn't have to really wake up, and we all got a lot more sleep. Honestly, if your daughter is that adamant about nursing at night, I don't think you'll be able to stop her without some trauma.

Slowly my son started sleeping longer stretches in his crib. At 18 months we switched him to a toddler bed and he started sleeping 8 hours. I guess he just didn't like the caged-in feeling. He's now 27 months old, and since around his 2nd birthday he's been sleeping 9-10 hours in his own bed. We still nurse during the day, too. We never did cry it out. When he was developmentally ready, he just did it on his own. I think there is a lot of pressure in our society to get kids sleeping through the night at a young age, but all babies are different and some just aren't ready. It's not about them being hungry, it's a comfort thing, and at that age comfort is every bit as important to them as food.

Try to relax your expectations a bit. She's obviously getting plenty to eat since she's growing so well. This time will fly by, and I really believe that if you meet a child's needs for comfort and security in the early years they will grow into confident, secure adults. Give the co-sleeping a try. She might even wake up less often if she knows you're right there, since separation anxiety really kicks in at this age. Good luck!

My son did the same thing when he started eating solids. A nurse told me it is most likely because the solids have more carbohydrates and he's active so he's burning off more calories. With the heat, I wanted to ensure he had more formula because of the water (my breast milk dried up after 2 months) so since I've been giving him more of a formula to solids ratio he's been sleeping better/longer through the night. I, also, give him his bottle of formula first before solids. He gets his liquids and he always let's me know when he DOES not want formula and is ready to purely eat solids that feeding. It's worked out well. He's 9 months old. I'm sure it will all change again soon but for now that works. Also, be sure it's not due to teething (that was the case w/my son a few nights and he got infant Tylenol on the really bad nights) and/or a growth spurt. He's gone through a few of those and I just get up and feed him as there is no consoling him at the point and I know ti's hunger. I've also made sure he goes to bed with a brand new dry diaper. That helped too. Good luck!

tHIS PROBABLY NOT SOMETHING THAT IS COMMON BUT I NEED TO EAT DURING THE NIGHT AND I AM 49 YEARS OLD. IF I DON'T EAT, THEN I CANNOT SLEEP. IT WAS THE SAME WITH MY GRANDFATHER, MY MOTHER AND MY SON. HE NURSED THRU THE NIGHT FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS.WE ALL HAVE HIGH METABOLISMS,AND WE WERE ALL FAT BABIES WITH NO PROBLEMS WITH WEIGHT LATER IN LIFE.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
P
PS MY DAUGHTER SLEEPS EASILY WITHOUT FOOD.