Another Babysitter Question

Updated on May 23, 2012
C.M. asks from New Baden, IL
18 answers

Read the two scenarios below and tell me how you would react as a parent.....

Babysitter's cat bites a child in the lip. Child goes to hospital and ends up having stiches but is okay. Cat is declawed and never done this before. Cat is quarantined from kids for 3 days then sent to Animal Control for 9 (am guessing to check for rabies). Sitter said nothing about getting rid of cat so I assume he is coming back. Sitter calls and gives parents an 'out' to pull their kids from daycare becuase of the cat - no hard feelings. This is not typical behavior of the cat - she told the parents when they first brought their children there that while the cat is not super friendly - he is not mean either...if anything he's anti-social.

Three days later, child (4 years old) tells parent that the sitter took them on a ride in her van - in no carseat but a big girl seatbelt. Only 1 kid was in proper car seat - all others (ages ranging from 2.5-7) were in regular seatbelts. Was a short trip - maybe 10 minutes - less than 2 miles from home. She has carseats for all the children at her home - they just were not put into the car.

How would you react? What would you do or say?

Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone! We did talk with the sitter about the cat bite and I do not believe this was something she could have prevented so I do not hold that against her. We knowingly put the kids in daycare with a caregiver that had an animal.

As far as the carseat incident - we could not look past that. In our opinions, there was no excuse or reason to take any child in her van (first without telling us she was taking them somewhere -we never discussed this before) and without proper restraints!! So we decided to go elsewhere for our daycare. She was understanding about it.

As always - I appreciate your honesty and opinions!

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

The thing to worry about with a cat bite is infection. Cat's mouths are very, very dirty and their teeth are like needles injecting the bacteria

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

I would have pulled my child after the cat incident. This latest incident shows me that she has poor judgment overall, not just about that cat.

Time for a new sitter. Really and truly.

Dawn

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

cat....no issue due to upfront honesty on her part. But since the cat has atttacked a child, I would find another sitter.

van ride: never base your reaction upon the words of a child. Always allow for misinterpretations. If it is true, I would report her to the state....& find another sitter.

For me, I dread a pet bite...I have 2 large dogs kept separate from my daycare. & the only exception on the van ride would be if it were a "state of emergency"....a mandatory evacuation. We've had only one in my lifetime: the neighbors were having foundation work & the crew hit the gas line. I was so thankful it was after hours for my daycare!

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Whoa! An animal bit your child and you are "guessing" that the cat was sent to animal control to check for rabies? Did you immediately ask the sitter to produce the cat's certificate confirming a rabies shot, as soon as your child was bitten? That would have been the thing to do. I hope the cat is cleared of having rabies. You must keep up with this aspect of things and not make assumptions or guesses. If you child needs rabies vaccine it must be administered within a certain time frame or the consequences can be fatal.

That alone would have had me pull my kid out of this situation. But the car ride? That's very worrying. This person will say "It was only 2 miles" but you can get hit by another car two feet from home, much less two miles. I would report this sitter to whatever authorities are appropriate, after you pull your kid out for good.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

With the cat situation, it's really the sitter's choice whether to keep her cat or not. She told the parents she understood if they wanted to pull their child from her care, so the burden of choice then lies on the parents. It's completely up to them. If it were me, I'd try reasoning with the sitter to see what her plans for the cat are. Is she keeping the cat? Is she going to keep the cat away from the kids permanently? Then make my decision. I would also wonder/ask if this is typical behavior of the cat or if my child did something to the cat to bring on such behavior (not uncommon for a young child to be mean to an animal).

As for the car seat situation, totally unacceptable. I'd speak with the sitter and let her know that I do not find that acceptable at all and that if she intends to transport my child anywhere, he/she should be in a car seat at ALL times.

If either situation happened again, I would surely find more suitable arrangements.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

It wouldn't be pretty-I assure you. I would call the police and file charges-I would shut down her babysitting scheme. I wouldn't trust anyone who cares more about a cat than a child.

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T.M.

answers from Redding on

Whether I would try to destroy her business or not, I dont think I would totally believe a 4 year olds story and would first have a nice chat with the sitter and feel out her story concerning the car seats.... then make that decision.
Animals are animals and there is always a chance they might act like one when threatened by little kiddos.... leaving your child in an environment that has pets is always volatile.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

First, with the cat: it's clear that the sitter was trying to be responsible (although I'm unsure how being declawed plays into a bite?), esp. if the pet was quarantined. I can understand how the sitter might anticipate that the parents will have a problem with kitty being around. This one is just bizarre....is this hypothetical? I'm certain I would not return my child for care at a place where they had received an animal bite, regardless of the type of animal or the fact that it 'didn't have rabies'. That would have been a few sleepless nights...

As to the "no carseats" issue-- no. Not okay. This shows a lack of good judgment. This would be the reason to find another sitter. If you don't have the common sense to make sure all of the children are safe in a moving vehicle, how can I trust you at home where safety issues abound. That said, I'd ask to see the vehicle and I would ask the sitter first about the story before concluding that a four year old told the verbatim truth. If it was the case that the sitter had taken the kids out in the car without proper seating, I would let the sitter know that I didn't think it would work out and take my child home with me.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

The owner can probably prove via vet records that the animal has the proper vaccinations. Pets are still animals and a provoked one can bite. Cats who do not have claws may bite because that's all they have. I would not be so worried about the cat. It sounds like that was handled alright. I do not think it was to check for rabies. If an animal is suspected of having rabies, they usually euthanize it and inspect it's brain. They may have required it as protocol for an animal bite, to see if the cat is normally vicious, etc. If this concerns you, speak to her about it.

Now, the car seat thing would be a BIG problem for me. If I provide a caregiver a car seat for transportation and she didn't bother to use it, then that's a safety violation. Many accidents happen within 1 mile of home. The duration of the trip doesn't matter. If she can't use proper car seats and boosters (some states require anybody under 8 yrs old to have a booster) then she has NO business putting the kids in the van. I would talk to her and try to determine the truth (sometimes children have weird perceptions) and if I didn't like her answer or just couldn't prove she didn't put them in seatbelts only, then I'd be looking for another caregiver.

ETA: If she admitted she did it, she knows it was wrong...so she did something wrong knowing that the kids are old enough to speak up. I'd be looking for another caregiver.

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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

This woman would not be babysitting MY child!!! I don't care if the car ride is just down the driveway, if my child isn't in a car seat, that car doesn't move!! End of story!

I would talk to the sitter to see if the stories are true. Then if they are, I would be letting the other parents know and/or have her license revoked! That's assuming she actually has one. Sounds like she may have too many children she's trying to watch.

If you do nothing and something serious happens to one of the children, how are you going to feel then?

This woman needs to be put out of business!!!

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L.S.

answers from Peoria on

For me, the car ride is a BIG deal. I would inquire about if she takes the kids in her van and what she is using for a car seat. Ask if your child needs a car seat to keep at the sitters. I have heard there are some vans that have build-in car seats (my sitter's does) and that might be how she is getting away with it.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If she is licensed you might call the licensing agnecy and find out what their regulations are for this situation. As far as I know if a pet has attacked a child then the pet must leave or they take the facilities license away and basically close them down. The state may not even know about the animal. I would want to know if she is required to remove the animal....if not then I would want to know if this animal was going to be allowed free reign in the area my child is going to be in.

1. This is not something that needs to be repeated.

2. This child may have a terrifying fear of this cat now. Why put him through that on a daily basis.

Second question. I took kids in my car at my child care center tons of time. I would pick some good kids out of one class and they could go to the store with me or to pick up a half day kindergartner. I have a line on the enrollment forms that specifically stated I could transport their child. Period. No qualifications, no reasons to do it, just that I had permission to do it.

I usually had to put car seats in and take them out in seconds. I had a routine. If this care giver choose to not put available car seats in the car when taking them somewhere you have a right to know why she didn't take time to put them in. I had about 10 booster seats stacked up in my office. They do not require installation, they sit on the seat of the car and use the existing strap to go across the kids. That is what I used for any child over 3 years of age no matter what their parents had. They were old enough to be in a booster and our top speed limit on 90% of our towns streets is 30mph.

My only thoughts are that she may have run out of something, like milk or formula, diapers, something and needed to run to someone's home to get some. A friend or another care giver that had some extra so she would not have to go to the store with all the little ones. I can't imagine it just being a "hey, let's go for a ride" kind of decision.

I would find out the "why" first then decide if I was mad. If it was just a ride for the heck of taking a ride then I would be upset only due to the car seat issue. If she did put them in car seats, some have integrated ones with 5 point harnesses, then I would not be mad. Even kids need a chance to change their venue sometimes.

There was a small park right by the child care center I owned. Sometimes we would take a walk and go to it. I had in my parent enrollment forms we could go for walks too since there was a mom and pop type grocery store on the corner of the next block. And the Salvation Army store was back to back with my center. I would leave a note on the door with my cell phone number on it. The parents could come pick the kids up within 1 block of the center. If it was the state for inspection she would find I had all my necessary paperwork and fist aid stuff with me for us to be there.

I think taking kids somewhere is not a big deal in any way. I do think that "not
adhering to the law about car seats IS a big deal. Not only could she have been stopped if an officer saw the kids not constrained properly she could have been arrested and her car towed. The kids could have been put in states custody until the parents found. Worst case scenario of course.

It is a big deal to me for kids to be in car seat or at least a booster type seat according to their ages and that states laws.

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

Licensed versus unlicensed daycare.

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B.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't want to be an alarmist, but I would get my child out of there immediately! There are too many red flags. The cat bite I could probably get over - if the woman was going to keep the cat contained in a room or a part of the house where the children weren't going to be. But not using carseats is a huge issue. What was so urgent that she had to run this errand while she had all of the children in her care? She couldn't have waited until a time when she wasn't working?

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

She sounds like a crappy provider. I'd be done with her. Common sense & good judgement are part of what makes a great provider and she clearly doesn't have either. I would wonder what else had happened that I didn't know about. I'm guessing she is cheap, which is why she will always have clientele, unfortunately.

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T.X.

answers from St. Louis on

After I read the first paragraph, my inclination was to say, "look for a new caregiver." The fact that she gave you an "out," indicated to me that she wanted you to take the "out." As a nanny agency owner for more than 26 years, I know that you never want anyone caring for your kids all day long who doesn't want them there!
Once I read that she drove children in a car with out proper car seats, my answer changed to a definite, FIRE HER! This person should not be working with children! She doesn't use good judgment or common sense. It is never okay to drive small children with out proper car seats. There are reasons guidelines are set. The fact that she had the car seats and did not use them tells me that she is simply lazy.
There are plenty of great care providers out there, you do not need one who is substandard. Your children are just too important.
Stephanie
T., Inc.
https://www.tlcforkids.com/

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

It doesn't sound like the kids are her priority. I think I would look around for another.

Let her know that most accidents happen within a couple of miles of a person's home so the fact that she only went up the street doesn't make a difference.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I would pull my child out of her care. Sure, you aren't alarmed by the cat bite because you think the cat was trying to defend itself. But saying she used poor judgement in driving children around in her van without car seats? Nope. That doesn't cut it. I don't care if it was 2 miles down the road, they could have gotten into an accident and those kids could have been dead because of her "poor judgement." She cannot afford to make bad decisions when the lives of other people's children are at stake. You're paying her to care for your child and keep them safe. What's next --she makes poor judgement letting the kids play around a pool and runs inside for "just a second" and one drowns? I wouldn't stick around to find out. JMO.

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