All Alone

You got some good advice from the other mamas. I just want to let you know that you are not alone. I was crying hysterically just last night. I actually felt that I was losing my mind. My husband listened and said a few kind words. I felt better after some time, realized that it was just hormones and felt kind of silly after my "episode." If you need someone to vent day or night you have plenty of mamas here... including me!

Just about anything is normal during pregnancy, especially with hormone changes. I'd encourage you to get REAL support on your journey to clean up your life, AA, AlAnon, etc. Being alone is the worst way to be because it feeds all of the party/drug/alcohol tendencies. Seek folks like you. good luck
L.

Aloha K.,

I'm actually pregnant with my 2nd child too and I went through the same "stage" as you are going through a couple months back. I too was tired, zero energy, and sometimes depressed. It was so bad that I actually thought my pregnancy was a mistake. Luckily, I told my husband about it and after talking to him I figured out it was more about "me". Temporarily giving up certain activities, foods, and the big one....wearing maternity clothes again! I guess at the time it seemed like it was going to last forever...but it doesn't (thank goodness!!). I am now 5 months pregnant and over that stage...and looking forward to having my second daughter. Hang in there! It's a phase that some women go through, but it should pass. I didn't experience this with my first pregnancy, but every pregnancy is different. I wish this gives you hope that everything will be ok and that God always has a plan for us and our new bundle of joy!

You are not alone. I felt pretty down (& nauseated!) when I was pregnant and I can only think that it was the hormones. I felt like I had a cloud over my head most of the nine months. The feeling went away within a few hours of having our baby. It also sounds like you need to surround yourself with some new friends. Is there a way you can involve yourself in hobbies, spiritual pursuits, etc. that would connect you to some people who are living life the way you are striving to? I hope you feel better soon.

Every pregnancy is different and depression during or post pregnancy is totally normal....hormones are going crazy!! There are anti-depressant options, but also try and get outside as much as possible. Even a simple 20 to 30 minute walk helps depressions. A different change of scenery, etc. Also working out a light jog (don't know how far along you are) but endorphins have proven to help the blues. Good luck, you have so much to be happy about!! Congratulations on your pregnancy.

When you distance yourself from a close friend it creates few scenerios that actually can be solved. First, you experience missing, on both accounts. Second, someone wants some answers, and it usually is the one left behind.
I am assuming you haven't told your friends that you are seeking change in your life away from 'negative.' I do believe that not being straight with them weighs heavy on you, hence your feeling of being down.
There is something beautiful in sharing your concerns with your friends, being authentic about what you want. And I am more than 100% sure that once you do, you will not only feel 20 pounds lighter but maybe even reform your friendships to a new level that you may never have experienced with them before. And, if that does not work out, you must know - people come and go and they also return when you have more in common, but it doesn't mean you don't love each other, it only means that you are on different paths in life now and they may cross again in the future. Best of luck to you and your family.

Hormones can do anything and everything to you, I swear! I would say that hormonal changes in pregnancy can depress you.... talk to your pediatrician.
I want to congratulate you for making positive changes in your life for you and your children. I wish more parents would take a long look at how their lifestyle is affecting their children. You need to model the behavior you want your kids to have, they learn by watching you! (I know that's a line in a cheesy "say no to drugs" commercial, but it is so true!) .... I say bravo and thank you for your decision to change!

Hi K.,
I can relate to what you are feeling. I am very excited to have my first child in April. But with several complications and a drastic change in energy level and activity level I have become depressed. My best suggestion for you is to find a good counselor to speak with and share your feelings with those close to you. I feel very alone at times but have a wonderfully supportive husband who listens to me.
Best of luck!
Take care.
-S.

I am a grandma with two young grandchildren. Life is Good. Take a walk. Have your 3 yr old ride her trycicle or just walk. Walking really helps depression. Do something simple and creative. If you don't sew you can make a fringe blanket by tying knots around the edges. Go to Walmart to the fabric department for ideas. Many things you can do that are inexpensive with scraps. Try not to watch the daytime TV shows. They will depress you. Life is Good. Go to the park. Enjoy the time you have with your 3yr old. She will be in school in two years. Love yourself. Love your bump as your new born develops and eat healthy. Stay hydrated. Water or non sugar drinks.

Enjoy Life.

K.

you go girl, you can do it! Nobody ever said it was easy. I think the 3-year-old is the hardest physical and mental challenge requiring tons of attention, that's why you are run-down. And yes, pregnancy messes up your hormone levels, which makes you cry. Everything is going to be all right. Take good care of yourself, vitamins.

Hello K.,

I felt depressed during my first pregnancy. It is very awkward because I felt very happy about the pregnancy but I couldn't feel the joy. My depression was very mild and I waded through it on my own. It is good to talk to others, your doctor and maybe attend baby yoga or something to meet other pregnant moms in healthy environment. I am happy to hear you are making a healthy change in your life, it takes courage, strength and inner wisdom. Good Luck!

I was extremely depressed with my first baby, crying almost every day. But this time around I have been in pretty good spirits. I think it all depends on what is going on in your life. You have to remember that every pregnancy is different and that having "depression" is normal, just remember to talk to your doctor about it. As long as people around you are aware of how you are feeling they can try to help you through it all. Maybe find a pregnancy group, or childbirth classes, meet new people.

K., I've only been pregnant once ( i have a 2 year old girl ) and I know that the hormones during and especially after ( for me ) were awful. I always hear that every pregnancy is different so it's very possible that this pregnancy is helping you feel depressed. As for no energy...that could also be because you already are a mom and aren't we always tired??..You also have a lot going on!! I would feel lonely and sad having to say goodbye to friends pregnant or not. It's always scary to make changes but it sounds like you are doing it for all the right reasons. Yourself, your kids, your relationship, your higher power!! Speaking from experience...I have only been relieved and extremely proud of myself after filtering out the negative. The process was difficult. Standing up for myself has not always been my strong point in certain situations...and some friends just need to do their own thing somewhere else other than in MY life.It's hard to do but ultimately worth it. Give yourself tons of credit,too! I believe that when you do the right thing, the right things will appear. Take care.

I experienced depression with both my second and third pregnancy. Part of my problem is that both were unplanned and I wasn't "in control". Howver I am not hearing you say this. What I hear is you saying you are in recovery? Am I right? Is this a formal recovery or is it something you are "doing on your own" with your husband? It might be helpful, if this is the case, to join a twelve step group. You won't have to say you are an addict or suffer stigma. You will have to admit that you miss some of the lifestyle and the "social" part that went along with it. A lot of churches have groups like this. Our church has one called free indeed and I know there are celebrate recovery groups in churches all across the country. Try looking into one of these groups, you can go alone or with your husband and talk to people who are like minded and have been in your situation. You will meet more people like yourself and get your social needs filled. Whatever you decide to do, the depression needs to be treated because the outcome for you and your child during and after pregnancy are much better with a happy mommy.

Please join a moms group so you can get out there and talk to other moms and feel less alone. Try joining one at www.slocountymommies.com !