Advise on How to Break My 18 Month Old from the Pacifier

Updated on July 01, 2008
J.N. asks from Ballwin, MO
25 answers

My 18 month old daughter, Evie, still has her pacifier all of the time. She does not need it, it hangs to the side of her mouth most of the time. When she is playing she is perfectly fine without it but it does help her fall asleep at nap and night time. I want to get rid of it!!! Please tell me what to do. My husband and I are sick of it and are afraid it will hurt her in the long run with talking and her teeth development. Any advise?

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J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm dreading when that time comes for us. My OB told me she and her girls each went through a ritual where they tied the binky to a balloon and let it go up to heaven for the new babies who were going to be born to use. I thought that was sweet. She said it took a few days, but she would remind them they were big girls and the babies needed them and they got through it. Good luck!

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M.V.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi, I remember those days and am going to be going through them again with my youngest. But when my oldest was about that age, maybe a little older we took her to Walmart and told her if she would give her Nana, ( my friend's mom, who happened to be there) her binks she could pick out any baby doll. She handed over the binks and picked out a baby doll that happened to have a binkie. (lol) She fussed for a few days, but that was the end of binks for us. Hope this helps.

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

If she's letting it hang from the side of her mouth most of the time, it sounds like she's close to giving it up herself. Just let her keep it and she will give it up when she's ready. Just because you're sick of it, doesn't mean she is. It's her security. Just let her keep it, she'll be just fine and so will you!

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L.A.

answers from St. Louis on

Wow, this is good one. My daughter got so attached, that she would suck one and have one in each hand. A friend told me to put a little slit in all of them at the tip. When she would try and suck them, there was no suction. I would simply say "oh, your binky is broke." It worked like a charm, with no fuss. She would just take it out, and throw it down, and proceed with her business.

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V.P.

answers from Kansas City on

When we weaned our daughter off the pacifier, we had just been on vacation and when we got home, she was so tired from the flight that she went to bed without it. So I decided if she could do it one time, she could do it again. When she asked for it the next time, we told her we left it in Florida. She fussed a bit and asked for it for about 3 days, but overall, this was the best way to do it (for us, anyway). When we weaned my son, we just threw them away and he had to deal with it. It was kinda rough the first nap and night or two, but got easier after that. I wish you the best, as I know how stressful this can be!

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N.H.

answers from Wichita on

start cutting the tip off a littled every couple of days. Tell her it is broken and when she can't get it in her mouth any more stress that it is broken and needs to be throwen in the trash. worked for me. took about 3 weeks

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S.D.

answers from Springfield on

I personally broke my two older children cold turkey. I for some reason don't think that I will be able to do it with my baby girl. A friend of mine did it in steps. The first step being that they couldn't take the bink out of the house, next step they couldn't have it unless they were in bed, then they could only have it at night for sleep and then not at all. I don't know, it might work for you.

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J.B.

answers from Wichita on

My son was around this age when he started to name his binky "bibi". He was only using it at naps and bedtime (it stayed in his crib). I just took it away when he wasn't looking and when he asked for it that night, I said it went bye bye. He adjusted remarkedly well. I had a harder time, especially when we went on our two day road trip a few months later. Good luck!!

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C.S.

answers from St. Louis on

J.,
I have worked in a dental office for 5 years and cannot begin to tell you how many mouths I've seen messed up from kiddo's taking a binki (or sucking thumbs or fingers) to long. You can tell right away when they open their mouth! It is good that you are doing something proactive about it now. My first was an avid binki sucker. I know the trauma and stress of taking it away. I agree with other mom's responses that nap-time and bed-time may be more difficult without it. My daughter did use hers during those times to get her used to the idea of not having it during the day. Every child is different. It may not work for you. In the end, I took my daughter to the store and she "paid" for her new toy with her binki. She handed it to the checker herself and was very proud of how big she was acting. My cousin took a different approach with her daughter (whose teeth are WAY messed up!!). When my baby was born, she brought her over and explained that my baby did not have any binki's. Her daughter (2 1/2) put the binki's in a bag for my baby. It was hard for her, but she did it because she wanted the baby to be happy. I then sent her a thank you note in the mail telling her how much the new baby loves the binki's. Done. No more binki's! Be creative and stand by your decision. I believe that you will get through this transition. God bless!

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Use the "Big girl Binky Fairy". Pick a night to have the binky fairy come and take all the binks away. Build it up, you know, what a big girl you are, you'll get a special treat, ect.... and let her put them all in a bag (except the one she is sleeping with). Buy a toy or some other special treat that she would like, and do the tooth fairy thing. Replace the bag of binks (along with the one she fell asleep with) with the toy.

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C.L.

answers from Kansas City on

My youngest thankfully didn't take a binky (but he is still hanging onto the bottle), but with my oldest, I just slowly took them away day by day. I've heard what works is cutting the bulb of the pacifier, so that when they suck, it's flat. My friend tried this with 2 of her kids, and it worked great. All though after she would cut one, her son would some how produce a good one from a hiding place! Good Luck! I know it's hard to break the habit that helps them go to sleep best, as I'm still working on breaking the bottle of my 2 y/o = /

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V.C.

answers from St. Louis on

I assume you have more then one. Make a small cut down the middle of it - not so it comes apart into pieces but so it won;t hold the suction. She will notice. Say, "ohh it broke, you need to throw it away." Have another one break a week or two later. And continue until they are all thrown away ( I did about 3 and threw the rest away myself.) Then when the last one is gone and she asks for it tell her SHE threw them away. Make sure she puts them in the trash can herself. If she asks remind her she threw them away. After 2 days, my little guy quit asking and never wanted one again.

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J.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I have a set of twins that I broke from the pacifier when they were about as old as your daughter, if not younger. The way I did it was that on a Friday night, I took the pacifiers and placed them on the television and did not give in. Of course, since they were used to having the pacifiers, it was a little harder to get them to sleep, I just rocked them to sleep and after fussing for a while, they fell asleep, but breaking them from the pacifier took just that weekend and they were fine on Monday.

Good luck!!

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M.I.

answers from St. Louis on

At 18 months she might not miss it if you just took them while she was in the bath or sleeping and just put them in the trash. She might be a bit more fussy for a few days but an 18 month old forgets easily.

If you don't want to take it completely away, maybe you can just limit her use of the paci to ONLY her crib. I started doing this with my daughter at 12 months and it works wonderfully.

I know there are TONS of people anti-pacifier, (and that's okay) but for my family, this works out just fine. She's 3 and is in a toddler bed and if she starts to get upset about something, she just goes to her room, lays in her bed, and sucks a paci. (no tantrum) Five minutes later, she's fine and up and playing again. 99% of the time, she's only in her bed when she sleeps and if she only gets it when she sleeps, that's okay with me~

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S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I cut the very end off my son's pacifier, then 2 days later, cut a little more, than 2 days later a little more and by that 3rd time, he put it in his mouth and did not have enough to suck on and said "this is yucky", so I said "really, why don't you go throw in the trash" which he did willingly. At bedtime that day he said "where's my binky" and I said "remember you threw it away because it was yucky." He cried for about 3 minutes then was over it. He asked about it the next day we reminded him he threw it away and never asked for it again. :) Good luck. My son still had his pacifier at 3 and was getting ready to start daycare and they would not let him have it there. I did not know how to get rid of it, so the daycare we were going to attend gave me that idea. They said HOLD STRONG, he will be fine. Even if he crys don't give in. Hope this helps you too.

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L.B.

answers from Columbia on

Hi J., (beautiful name)
When it came time to ween my son, we first allowed it only at nap time and bed time.
The next step was to take it away at nap time. (not easy, but with the help at day care, it eventually became an understanding for him).
Next, we threw away all but one binky. He knew it was the only one left, and was sure to keep track of it. I would throw it in the dishwasher occasionally and when it was bed time, we would go looking for it. I would lead him to the dishwasher and he would be able to find there.
The final step...when he wasn't looking, I cut the end off and put it in the dishwasher. He went looking for it, knew to look in the dishwasher, and HE found it "broken". (important to throw away the other half) This way, no one is the bad guy for taking it away or breaking it...it's the dishwasher's mistake. Of course, he wanted me to fix it...even went as far as to get his toy tool set so he could fix it. I told him the dishwasher ate the other half, so it would be impossible to fix. He was a little sad, but took it REALLY well. He held onto it for the rest of the night...tried using it, but was reminded every time he stuck in his mouth that it "didn't work" anymore.
Hope this helps!

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi, J.. I would try talking to your daughter and make a standing rule for no binkys except at nap or bedtime. When I started talking to my doctor about my daughters binky, he said not to be so worried until age 2 or 2 1/2. I do think by 2, it is a good idea to wean them off as much as possible. I weaned my daughter off of the binky at nap and then later at night. We mailed it to a friend and the friend mailed us a present back. My daughter was 2 when we did this, and did great. Good Luck!

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J.H.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter had a pacifier until she was about 14 months old. She started wanting it all the time (in the bath was the last straw) so we decided enough was enough. We opted to go cold turkey. On Friday night we put her to bed without it and she cried for at least 2 hours. We would go in periodically to comfort her and lay her back down until she finally fell asleep from exhaustion. The next night she cried for about 45 minutes but by the third night she only fussed for a few minutes before going to sleep. I must admit that the first night was heartbreaking but it was totally worth it, one weekend and it was all over. Now, I would take your child’s personality into consideration when deciding if this is a good option for you. My daughter is very easy going and has always been an excellent sleeper. If Evie is not this way you may want to consider a more gradual method. Good luck!!

D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

My youngest daughter was a paci baby also. What we did was only let her have it at nap time and night time. Then after a few months we wouldn't let her have it at nap time. By that time she had chewed thru most of them and they were getting moldy. We would throw them out as we noticed this condition. When the last paci was like this we showed it to her and told her how gross it was. She examined it herself. We told her she could have that one or throw it away, but that there were no more in the house. After examining the "dirt" that wouldn't come off she threw it in the garbage herself. Afterwards we didn't have any problems. Don't let your daughter have the paci during the day. Completely hide them. Only let them come out for naps and/or night. It really won't mess up her mouth or teeth developing. My paci girl is now 10 and has beautiful teeth (with the exception of her incizers, spelling?, but that is hereditary) and a beautiful bite. Good Luck and God Bless.

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K.P.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi J.. When my 18 year old was a baby, He loved his pacifier. So when he got to be about the same age of your baby daughter, I would put him down for his afternoon nap and then go back in when I knew he was in a good sleep and slowly remove it from his mouth. When he woke up it was like he didn't know it was gone until he saw it again. This went on for about 2 to 3 weeks. Then he just didn't miss it any more. Good Luck. K. P.

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L.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Another way besides having to cut slits in them and make them "broken" is if you know someone who has a younger baby that your child also knows and can identify with, you can talk to your child and say "hey why dont we send these binkies to ______ so they can use them since they are a little baby yet and you are a big boy/girl., etc etc etc." My sister did this with her boy (they actually put them in envelope and had him walk them out to mailbox and put them in) and pretended to send them to my daughter who is about a year younger. Best of luck!

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T.A.

answers from Wichita on

My daughter was crazy about her 'sucker'. When she turned 2, we told her she was a big girl and that her sucker had to stay in her bed. She was fine with that. We had told her several times in advance that this would happen. Before she turned 3, we told he she would have to give it up completely for weeks ahead of time. After her birthday, we said no more sucker and took them away. The first night broke my heart. I sat outside her door while she cried, "Please, Mommy, Please" wanting her sucker. That lasted about 15 minutes or so and then she went to sleep. Second night only about 5 minutes of begging, the third night, she asked for it, said "Please, Mommy" and when I reminded her that she was a big girl now and didn't need it, that was the end of it. She never asked for it again. I'm sure it was MUCH harder on me than it was on her.

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L.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Make it dissapear by the time she wakes one day.

And then when my son asked for it. I would shrug my shoulders and say "I don't know where it is. You better look for it". He would look for a couple minutes get bored and go play." We did that 3 or 4 times a day for two days and he never asked again.

I must tell you that it is a little heart ripping to let go of that part of your baby. (not the binky - the image) get a pic.

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

If I didn't want my kids to have something anymore I took it away completely yes they will cry and fuss off and on for a day or so but in the long run it was much easier to do it that way instead of saying ok just for a while you can have it back then take it away again they get confused on to well I can have it now but not later just like discipline set your foot down and be consistant.I bet you if you took them all away this weekend and talked to her that it is time to let go of the paci by the next week she'll be fine.But for the off and on it's not good it'll be more troubling in the long run.Good Luck stand your ground and give lots of hugs and kisses when the tears roll down her sweet lil face for that paci.sahm of 2 kiddos

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S.G.

answers from St. Louis on

With a my son, when he was around this same age, I first started by completely taking the pacifier away unless he was laying down for a nap or at bedtime. We did this for a while, then one day we actually couldn't find it at nap time, so I told him we would have to look for it later and he went down for his nap without much fuss or fight. I found it myself after he was asleep and hid it away. We did the same thing at bedtime. I said that we still couldn't find it so he would just have to go to bed without it just this one time. Again he went to bed without much fuss or fight. After that we never brought it back out again. It may sound mean to go "cold turkey" and this really wasn't my plan, but when he went to sleep fairly easily without it for afternoon nap, I thought why not try to just let it disappear. Do what ever you think works--maybe you could even develop another snuggly or something as a comfort for her. Good luck!

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