Advice on Weaning

Updated on August 10, 2007
M.G. asks from Athens, GA
11 answers

Hi, I'm still nursing my 22-month old son, but I'm ready to stop. He doesn't nurse much, if at all, during the day, but the problem is bedtime and/or naptime. He always wants to nurse at night in order to go to sleep. He is a light sleeper, so when he wakes up in the middle of the night, I have to nurse him so he can go back to sleep. I don't know how to stop. I try telling him no, but he'll just start crying and he won't stop until I nurse him. Any advice on how to wean him off my breast??

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M.P.

answers from Savannah on

Hi M.,
I started with introducing the bottle between breast feedings very early on , to get them used to breast and/or bottle-my milk always, I had to pump, so much milk. Anyway, try using breast and bottle, because at 22 months they can start water in a bottle, etc. You really have to be the boss on this one, don't let him rule you, you are the mom, remember?
MP

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I sort of sounds like more of a sleep issue than a weaning issue. Your son needs to learn how to fall alseep on his own without being fed to sleep... then once he's got that down he can learn to get back to sleep by himself when he wakes up at night. There's lots of sleep books out there. We used the Ferber method. Maybe you could start some new bedtime rituals to replace the breast feeding. Consistency is the key, and once you decide to really commit, don't give in. There will be a lot of crying at first because he knows that he'll eventually get what he wants. I know it's all easier said than done... good luck!

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C.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Congratulations on nursing so long! I nursed all three of my daughters, each longer than the one before. My youngest just weaned right before Christmas....she was 23 months old. She had a big problem with nursing to go to sleep also. The weaning will have to be slowly so expect several nights of this but this is what I did.

I realized that she wasn't really nursing to get anything, but more for comfort to get to sleep. So what I did was shorten the amount of time that I allowed her to nurse before putting her to bed. We started out to where she would nurse until she passed out. Then I would unlatch her when she was nearly asleep....but so far gone that she didn't really care. Then I would shorten that a little more each night until one night I was able to just lay her down and bed and she went to sleep. We've had it this easy ever since and I love it!

It took about two weeks of doing this before we got to the just going to bed night.

I hope you find the right solution for you and your son! :-)

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V.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I would just try cold turkey. He will stop crying. You just have to make up your mind to be strong and tell him no. Also read babywise. The baby should be sleeping through the night now. Allowing him to wake up and nurse is keeping you from sleeping. Good luck. My daughter was not breastfeeding but she was on a bottle about the same age and wanted it to go to sleep. One that is really bad for their teeth so dont switch from breast to bottle you will just start another problem and sure enough she fought and asked for it about 4 nights and then she just stopped. They are too young to remember things i think.

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L.S.

answers from Atlanta on

M.,

Congratulations, what a great mom! I nursed my son until he was 2 & 1/2. The last 6-8 months was mostly in the evening before bedtime, or sometimes to relax in the tub. One day in the tub he saw milk mix with water on my breast and said something that sounded like "nay" is yuky, I repeated it, he laughed and that was the last time he nursed. Basically, don't stress about it, just start slowly taking it away and he will let you know when he is done. If he has not been using a bottle previous to his, I would not introduce him to one now, just another thing you have to wean him from.

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K.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi!
I was in the same boat with my son nursing every time he woke up at night. It didn't really stop until 1. he started sleeping better and 2. My husband started going to him at night.
My husband had tried to help soothe Baxter at night in the past, but he would not have it. He would justget more and more upset. But then, my husband started coming home every night at 6 and he actually puts Baxter to bed M-F. That has totally changed their relationship and now Bxter will be soothed by him at night.
My only other thought is to let him cry for say 10 minutes, then soothe him, but don't pick him up. Then go in 20 minutes later if he's still crying, etc. My guess is it will only take 1-3 nights of this for him to feel safe and go back to sleep. It sounds like you've formed a habit (and not a bad one, I think it's great you nurse him). But, he will benefit so much, and so will you, from a full night of solid sleep. Fragmented sleep is not good for their learning, etc.
My son is doing so much better not hat he sleeps all night - and he naps better, too!
Good luck!

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C.G.

answers from Albany on

First of all, congratulations on nursing so long! Good for you! I nursed my first son 16 months and am nursing my almost 10 month old son now. I had issues weaning my older son, but what worked best for us was teaching him to go to sleep with out "ninny" at nap time first. Like every other nap time at first, then two out of three, then no ninny at nap time. Once he learned how to go to sleep with out nursing at nap time I started the same process with bed time. It took us about two months to completely wean, but it wasn't a traumatic transition. I don't know if this will work for you and your little guy, but that is what worked for us.

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S.T.

answers from Macon on

This is a tough one, it is so hard to deny your child when they want something, but you just have to be firm. Have you tried letting him settle himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night? Does he have a pacifier? My son just pretty much weaned himself at a year old, so I had it easy.

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N.L.

answers from Atlanta on

oh, I couldn't have asked this better myself!! My son is almost 20 months, and we go through the same thing every night! Here's my advice that I will be taking soon: When he wakes up and starts crying, put your hand on his stomach, rub his face gently, things like this to "nurse" him without the boob. When I do this, my son will go to sleep within 2 mins, or an hour, it can take a lot of patience. I see where you wrote he won't stop crying till you nurse him, which means, he is interpreting this as "if I keep crying, eventually, she will nurse me". We have spent a couple of very long 4-6 a.m. moments with me refusing to give him the boob, and he does eventually fall asleep, even if it IS him lying sprawled across my body. keep in mind, this is not "crying it out", he knows you are right there and haven't left him, he is just in a habit, and habits are breakable with time. My husband and I are planning on (my husband) spending the night at his parents for a week (he gets up super early), so Eden and I can work on the sleeping all night without nursing situation. Great advice from the doc can be found on http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/sl3.asp. (-direct link to question)
they address this very issue with complete support. please let me know what worked for you! good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

I dont have much experience with breastfeeding but my oldest was weaned off the bottle on his first birthday, I simply threw the bottle away and replaced it with a sippy cup. My second is 11 months today and he is down to about 2 bottles of formula a day. I feed him more food so he wants less milk. He just also got his first sippy cup a few weeks ago and he can already hold the sippy cup and drink from it by himself.By his first birthday he will be off the bottle just as my first was. Just slowly knock out a feeding every couple of weeks and he will slowly ween off of it. It will be much harder if u just take it away but it also is alot faster. So I guess depending on how good ur patience is and how fast you want him off you can choose either method but I have done both and both are effective.

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J.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi. I nursed both my children until they were 21 months old. I think weaning them was one of the hardest things to do because there is such an emotional bond while a child is nursing. At least there was for me and I in a way didn't want to give that up. With my oldest son I would nurse him to sleep and in the middle of the night like it sounds like you do. I tried all the methods like letting him cry for a few minutes and then rub his back, etc. For us it didn't work. He would get infuriated that I wouldn't pick him up and if I did pick him up he would pull at my shirt constantly. There was no consoling him without nursing. I know it sounds mean but we just had to let him cry it out. My husband started putting him to bed at night and if he woke up in the middle of the night we would just let him cry. It broke my heart but it also broke him from nursing at night. The first night he cried for about 1 hour. We chose a weekend night to do it so my husband wouldn't be exhausted at work. Each night he would cry less and less until in about 4 days he wasn't waking up. I learned from my first son and with my second I made sure not to nurse before bedtime. He has been a much better sleeper. Weaning was hard. I started cutting down the feedings until I was nursing just twice a day. I chose one day to go do a Mom's day and let my husband take care of my son. I was not there for his regular nursing times. He still asked for it for a couple of weeks but now he is ok. I weaned him about 1 month ago. I hope this helps.

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