Advice on Sleep Training for a 5 1/2 Month Old

Get a book called Good Night Sleep Tight by Kim West. She also has a website and a monthly newsletter at sleeplady.com
I had trouble with my son and wasn't into the cry it out approach. My sister-in-law saw an article in a parenting magazine about the "sleep lady" and gave me the article. I really like her shuffle approach. It helped tremendously with my son. After about three weeks we could just give him a kiss and say good night. We followed her advice for newborns with my daught and she has never had a problem going to sleep on her own. Good luck.

I highly recommend a book called the SleepEasy Solution. It is a modified Ferber method, or what they call the "least cry" method. It does involve crying it out, but is very well thought out. My 15 month old daughter puts herself to sleep every night, no problem and sleeps through the night. We started at 5 months and it was tough, but totally worth it. Consistency is THE KEY, so don't give up once you start!

I don't believe that you can train a 6 month old to fall asleep on their own. I believe as an attachment parent that letting children cry it out is a betrayal to the child. Every other time they cry you pick them up, but now when they go to sleep you are going to leave them alone for the night. We also believe in co-sleeping and have two beautiful boys- 5 1/2 yrs old and 3 wks old.
Again, any method you try to impose is wrong. Babies shouldn't be trained, they should be held and cuddled and nursed. Babies are so beautiful and rocking them to sleep or nursing them to sleep is such a more natural way and the right way for them to fall asleep. Follow your instincts as a mother- not a class or a book. They are little for such a short time- don't leave them alone to cry it out at night.

Sounds like your daughter is a great sleeper, congratulations! As you know, all babies (and parents) are different, so what works for one might not work for another. That said, my little girl fell asleep well in my arms at that age, but not on her own. We did a combination approach that was one of several options outlined in "Sleeping through the night" by Joni Mindell. I would get her nearly asleep in my arms (eyelids drooping or closed but not yet fully asleep) and put her down. Of course, she'd come fully awake and start crying immediately, but I'd leave her for 5 minutes before I picked her up again and did the same. Eventually I'd leave for longer periods (10 min, 15 min) and she started getting herself to sleep before I had to come back and repeat. When she started staying asleep, I started putting her down more and more awake. This gradual approach takes longer--think two or three weeks, but it was easier on us both and she became a great sleeper and self-soother. Be ready for bumps in the road later--as she hits cognitive development milestones, changes in eating habits, teething, colds, etc., her sleeping may experience set backs. Don't get discouraged, just use the same methods you found worked before to "train" her yet again. Our baby is 12 mos now and is a great sleeper, though she went back and forth from 6-11 months. Good luck!

Another thought--don't listen to people who say one or another method is wrong. You are the expert when it comes to your child and family, and only you can say what is right or wrong for you and your family. Trust yourself, and do what works best for you and your baby.

J.

My personal opinion is that your daughter is too young to start "sleep training." However, The No-Cry Sleep Solution was the only thing that worked for my son and I. He's now 2 and sleeps VERY well (12hrs/night, 2hr naps)!!

I used the Ferber method for our son, but I waited until he was 7 months (per our pediatricians rcommendation). The first two days and nights were rough, but then he was falling asleep on his own within 15 minutes every night and sleeping for 12 hours! Prior to "Ferberizing", he had to be swaddled AND rocked to sleep, waking several times per night. At first, I thought it was harsh but he was much happier and well-rested after follwing that book. I know this approach is not for everyone, but it sure helped us all get a good night's sleep after many, many months. If you decide to stick with this method, follow the directions in the book carefully.

hello J.,
I have a 7 month old daugher who just gradutated from sleep training:)
Quick backround: for the first 6 months my baby slept about 8-9 hours at night and only about 1 hour a day for naps. The only way she would fall alsleep is by me rocking/walking or nursing her to sleep and sometimes it took hours.
Now she sleeps 12 hours at night, and takes two to three naps a day (about 1 hour each) She falls asleep on her own! It has been awesome!

I will try to sum up what worked for me:
Putting my baby on a schedule was key.
The tricky part is letting them cry.
The first night I tried to sleep train, I was in tears, because my girl cried so much. It took her almost 2 hours to finally fall alsleep. Every night it got better, but it is still tough. Just hang in there. It took my daughter about 1 1/2 weeks to get use to it. Consistency is key, because baby's are creatures of habit and like a routine they can count on.
Every night I have a bedtime routine, which includes bath, dinner, storytime, I rock her for maybe 2 minutes and lay her down.
I read the book Good Night, Sleep tight, which suggests staying in the room to soothe your baby, but I found my baby cried harder when I was in the room.
I highly recommend investing in a video monitor, it has been a huge help!
Let me know if you have any questions.

Ferber worked great for us. We did it at 5 1/2 months and it wasnt that bad. we had one night where I sat outside her room and cried with her for 35 min but I went in ever 3,5 and then 7 min. We stated friday and by monday we had a great napper and now she sleeps for 12 hours at night.
Good luck

I used some of the ideas from the NO Cry Sleep Solution book, did not follow it totally but got some ideas that worked for me like singing and patting and rocking
It is a process and we had to have some crying it out but only a few nights of it, you are also lucky that your 5 month old sleeps so long through the night- be greatful!!
Good luck and happy sleeping soon
C.

Hi J.,
We were able to start helping our son go to sleep on his own around that same age... it just took a little time. Our son would have to be 'bounced' to sleep; and was getting to heavy to bounce for long times (I even had a wrist problem). So, I started to lay him in the bassinet, with a pacifier, and sit next to him making the same little humming noises I used when bouncing. Then, after a couple weeks of that, I started to hum for a few minutes, and then leave the room-- not making a big deal of it, and he would watch me leave. He took to it great. I also think catching him at the right time to go down was key (I read 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child'), and it is still a major key now that he is almost a year old. We always have fan on the floor in is room to give him some white noise as well.
I know it is daunting and a challenge but it is soooo worth it to be able to leave them and do other things while they have learned to fall asleep on their own! Good luck!

Hi J.,
My sisiter-in-law had twins just before I had my daughter. She read the book, "Healthy sleep habits, happy child" by Dr. Marc Wisebluth. I could be off on the spelling. She recommended the book to me and I found it to be very effective. Every child is different. I might want to get a copy and read parts of it. My daughter is 25 months and takes a two hour nap daily and sleeps for at least 12 hours a night. I hope this helps.

S. M

Why do you want her to fall asleep on her own? It sounds like you have a baby that sleeps very well and is able to fall asleep in her crib on her own when she wakes in the night. I have a 2 1/2 year old who I rocked to sleep for the first year and a half. He now sleeps great with just a story. My point is that you should enjoy the special time you have cuddling your daughter and she will get to the point where she will fall asleep on her own. I don't believe the books that say "if you don't do this now you will be sorry" etc.

It does sound like you have a great sleeper...once she's asleep. A friend recommended the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I've also seen this book mentioned by several other moms in response to sleep questions. I wish I would've had this book before I gave birth, but I am glad to have gotten it when I did. I started sleep training our son at 9 months and I probably would've started sooner had he been easier to soothe. He also needed the pacifier to help him fall asleep. Anyway, the book has two versions of sleep training and we did the cry it out. He never cried for long and each night it was less and less. By the third night, it was amazing. I got my first full night's sleep and so did he. He has been sleeping 12 hours a night without waking up crying or anything ever since. He wakes up sometimes, but he puts himself back to sleep. He is happy and eager to start each day and naps from 1-3:30 or 4 right now at 19 months. Once you are ready to be consistent and stick to it, you will never regret it. At 9 months, our routine involved a bedtime story, last nursing session, holding him and walking around the living room saying goodnight to various things and then walking to his room, rocking him next to his crib while standing for maybe 2 minutes and then he would lean toward his crib to go to sleep. He sometimes falls right to sleep, but other times he actually mumbles/talks himself to sleep. I love hearing him babble and practice his new words and sounds. At 18 months he no longer wanted to say goodnight to everything (he signed "all done" after the story) and pointed to the rocking chair...so we rock after story time to lullaby music and then go to his room. All of this to say, develop a routine and stick to it every night. All the best to you.

I did sleep training with both my kids. I am not sure if I followed the Ferber method exactly, but this is what worked for me. Establish a bedtime routine; rock them a bit, talking/singing/reading, whatever you want to do at a bedtime routine. Then I would put them down in the crib. It was fine if they were drowsy, just not asleep. If they were only fussing I would ignore that. If they were crying I would go in after 5 min. and tell them it was bedtime and they needed to go sleep. Comforting with voice only, no touching, and be quick about it. Then the interval would move to 10 min., then 15 min., and so on, up to 30 min., and stay at 30min. ( I never rember it being more than an hour total though.) It took my kids about 3-4 days to get the hang of it. If you are serious about sleep training, now is the time to do it. The older they get, the harder it will be. I have a very close and loving relationship with both my kids, neither of they are emotionally scared by the sleep training experience. They do not ever remember it. However, I do know people who never wanted to let there child cry, then ended up with a 2 year old who could not self sooth, needed a parent laying with them to fall asleep, and then was still up several times during the night. And at this point it was very traumatic for the child to try and learned to sleep on their own.
Good luck. It will be hard for a few days, but well worth it (for all of you) later.

J.,

Set and stick to a routine using cues to signal it's time to sleep. We use blackout shades, a sound soother (white noise machine), stories and songs to signal it's time for bed. People will suggest varying times but between 6:30-7:30pm is good and try to get ready at the same time each night. Say good night and leave. Allow your child to cry for 5 minutes then check on her -gentle comfort, but don't pick her up. Leave and let her cry for another 10 minutes (if she hasn't fallen asleep). Go back in and do a 'stern' remind. Try scolding a lovey or stuffed animal if she has one so she feels like her lovey is 'taking the heat.' If after you leave she is crying after 5 more minutes hold her to sleep. She will eventually get it. We spent a lot of money on two visits with a sleep consultant and it worked wonders.

We never did Ferber. We tried the Sleep Lady's method an it went terribly for us. Working with a sleep consultant is what did it. We had to adjust his nutrition (amount of food/milk, snacks, etc.) but it sounds like that's not your problem.

Good luck!
V.

My daughter needs some personal time also before going to bed (5 1/2 months) however when she started to fight sleep we began putting her in her crib with her mobile on. Since, prior to this, we only used the mobile to help ease her out of sleep, she was responsive. Within minutes she was asleep with no need to cry it out. Now sometimes she falls asleep in our arms and other times she prefers to hang out in her crib and coo or talk herself to sleep.
Ritual is very key and also having a feeding schedule is key, then she will know what to expect when! Good luck with your lil' one!

My daughter is 6 months old and sleeps through the night. We did this by feeding her at 8:30pm, and then let her play til 9pm. We then read her a story and put her down almost asleep. I am not a believer in the cry it out method, I hate it! When she would cry, I would go in there and talk to her quietly and rub her back. She knew I was there for her, and settled down within5-10min. It took a few nights, and she still occassionally wakes up, but I think on the whole she is doing well. Do what you thinkis best for your baby and it will all fall into place.

Hi J., my son braydon is 5.5 months as well and we just experienced our second night letting him cry it out. As it was 28 minutes the first night and 24 the second I'm not sure if that is enough to consider an improvement. My husband was the one who rocked him to sleep and when he was gone two nights in a row I tried everything. The timing was good because the class through el Camino hospital I am currently in is telling us they need to know to self soothe themselves by 6 months of age. They are now old enough that habits become formed and if you don't want to always rock your little one to sleep you need to let her fall asleep on her own. I now am wondering about consistency since he wakes up two times a night and my husband rocked him to sleep during naptime and the other I nursed him to sleep. I guess baby steps is what we are doing and what may appeal to you as well! Good luck. Keep me posted. Best, A.

I always loved the advice I got in "Healthy Sleep habits, Happy Child" by Dr Marc Weissbluth. He said that going to sleep is like catching a wave, the key is in the timing. You want to be putting your daughter down when she is sleepy but not overtired. You can get her there in your arms, if you like, but she needs to be hitting the crib at the right time. You need to learn her cues -- faraway eyes, one yawn, eye rubbing, it's different for every kid -- and focus on timing. If all works well, she could be drifting off happily on her own in no time.

J.,
I LOVED the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. There are various suggestions about sleep issues that also address eating and routine/schedule. Both of my kids slept through the night at 3 months using the approach in this book. And they did not have to cry it out.
Good luck whatever you try,
C.