Advice on Going Back to Work

The first time going back is the hardest (I've have 3 children and went back everytime). The first time I felt like I could not handle it, my mind was not as alert, I wanted to go from a career job with decisions to data input just so I wouldn't have to think so hard. But a co-worker sat me down and gave me advice which at first I didn't understand, but after 2 more I did. She pretty much said to "deal with it", that every working mother has gone through this. I muddled through and things got better and after my second child, I had no problems jumping back into work, it was like I never left.

As for daycare...I found a small home daycare to be the best. And housework....perhaps getting some help would be good if you can afford it...maybe twice a month, or at least once a month have someone else do the hard cleaning in the house.

Good luck and it's a good thing you're going back...stay home moms have a real hard time getting to do what they want to do in life by the time the kids are old enough because they've been out of the loop too long.

I just went back to work 2 days ago (baby #2). I found it was a lot easier this time around...

I would suggest to stop by your work a week or so before you go back, it helped me take the nervous edge off, everyone got to see the baby and ask all their questions. When I went back a week later I was already "old news" since they had just seen me, and it helped to keep my emotions in check since they were not asking so many questions. I did still tear up a couple of times but no one noticed.

Plan and pack your purse, breast pump, diaper bages, lunches the night before. give yourself LOTS of extra time...anything goes with a newborn.

good luck. Us working moms need all the support we can get.

PS, don't put your mascara on until you get to work..."just in case".

See if you can start back to work on a Wednesday so that your "first week back" is really only a few days, then you'll have the weekend again. It will make it easier on you and baby if you know that it's only for a few days the 1st week. Also, try to find a daycare close to your work so you can go in on your lunch break and breastfeed or just hold her and visit for awhile. Eventually, you'll probably feel better about leaving her there so you can do errands at lunch, have time to yourself to visit with coworkers or go out to lunch, and then not have to run errands with the baby after work.

Hi R.,

You got some great advice from Susan below and I would have to agree that a routine is the key and being prepared the night before for the day that lies ahead. I personally was in the corporate world for 15 yrs and when my son came along there was nothing in the world I wanted more than to stay home. My husband agreed and we sacrificed in the beginning to make it work! Now I am able to generate some income from home and know it was the right decision for us.. It's really an individual family's decision and I'm usually not offended but I don't like the insinuation made below that "SAHM's don't get to do what they want in life by the time their kids are old enough!" I feel I will be blessed knowing that I RAISED my children and got to see all their firsts and spent those special moments in the middle of the day with them (they are only toddlers for a little while, then they are all grown up and out of the house forever) So anyway, it's a personal choice is all I'm saying. I would certainly recommend checking out several options, whether it's in-home daycare, a big center or a nanny.. and the more kids, be prepared for some illnesses - it's inevitable! Best wishes on your decision!

C.~
http://www.HelpUstayHome.com

It was the hardest transition for me to make...I loved being home with my son and got to do it for a year, due to his premature birth and medical needs. BUT, it was the oddest feeling giving him over to someone else to care for...

1. At the suggestion of the owner of my daycare, I spent time with the caregivers and my son for two hours at a time during the week before and practiced leaving, so I would know how it was going to feel. It helped a lot.

2. Created a schedule that allowed me to be at work within a reasonable time, and made sure to commuincate with my boss the week before going back that I was taking my son to daycare and it was a work in progress.

3. Make sure your boss knows you are here to do the job, but if baby issues arrise you will have to be a Mommy at that time.

4. Come up with a game plan for when your little one is sick...while you can still take her to daycare they prefer you not expose other kids to the feverish babies.

5. Make a schedule for your errands...I love the Vons.com suggestion and am going to use that one! If you have other things that have to get done, write it down.

6. Make time for you and your baby on your off time...I like Gymboree/Local YMCA infant and toddler programs. And, of course the ever important cuddling and taking walks.

I have been back to work for a year now, and have found a great daycare provider who loves my son as much as my other family members do. Create an open dialogue with yours and make your concerns known, believe it or not they probably have little one's at home too or have done it before.

Good luck.

I feel your pain. It is hard to go back to work however it is easier than it seems. Things start to just become routine and a routine makes things so much easier and it is good for you and baby - so start a rountine ASAP!!! I took my son to daycare when he was 6 months old. It was much harder on me then it was on him. He is a very outgoing child :). My suggestion is that if you have a daycare in place, start to take your little one there to transition yourself and your daughter to the new atmosphere before the actual back-to-work day comes and ask your daycare provider what kind of schedule they will be using for your little one so that you can start that at home so she is "used" to it. Also, feel free to call your daycare provider once you ARE back to work if you are feeling uneasy. A quick call can often ease your nerves and give you the comfort of knowing that your precious little one is doing just fine!

If possible, return to work on a Thursday or a Friday (assuming you have weekends off). This gives you the chance to "practice" for a day or two, then have two days off to enjoy your baby again.

Getting to work on time is tough, especially if you're pumping, because that's another set of bags and containers. My advice is to stick to a routine--get up early, make your coffee, begin to pack and load everything into the car before your child wakes up...because you think, "Oh, I've got 15 mins before I have to leave," and that time evaporates in seconds. I cannot believe how long it takes to get in a car sometimes! : )

The times I was late was when I didn't prepare in advance.

My other piece of advice is a bit sensitive, but I'm going to say it, because I think that's what this forum is for. If you work in a professional arena, you'll want to focus on your appearance once more. When I came back to work, I was just struggling (single mom) to balance everything. My hair was greasy and in a pony tail all the time. I didn't pay attention to my professional appearance until my boss spoke to me about my hair. That was embarassing. If people used to compliment your dress and they've stopped, that's something to consider. Some people may think this isn't important or sounds shallow, but I'm a Human Resources Director at a luxury hotel, and image is part of the professional package. Everything communicates.

Best of luck to you!

db

Congratulations on your new baby!!!
I had to go back to work when my daughter was almost 4 months old. It was not easy but you will get into a routine very quickly, I started practicing before I went back. I would wake up early, feed and change my baby, then put her in her swing and get ready for work. I would leave about 20 min before work and drop her off at her sitter and then head to work. You get used to it really quick. You will be amazed at how much you can accomplish before going to bed at night. Hopefully your daughter is sleeping through the night, that makes a world of difference. Anyway good luck!!

My three biggest suggestions...

-From the start set your boundaries with work...leave when you need to, travel what you feel is fair and don't sway from it. They may not like it at first, but as long as you do the job, they'll get used to it.

-Vons.com...I order my groceries online and save myself the errand on the weekend. They come in the evening. A HUGE time saver and hey, no impulse shopping!

-Get someone to clean to your house. I have someone come just once every two weeks, but it makes a big difference.

You just have to be organized, find a system, let some things go (for instance, I don't make the beds during the week) and then forgive yourself when you feel like you're not giving your best to anyone. Believe me, it'll happen! There are days I feel like I'm a horrible Mom, wife, friend, employee and I'm not doing any of those things like I want to, but just get through it, ask for help and then give your little one a big old hug. It's definitely not my ideal situation, but it does work. Oh! And talk with other working moms...sometimes it feels like everyone is staying home with their kids and you're the only one stuck juggling like you are. It helps when you feel like you're not alone and see other people with healthy marriages and happy kids who work!

Good luck!

If you haven't already done so, find a good daycare placement. Start taking baby 2-3 days a week, so everyone gets used to the new schedule, and gradually increase it to full time by the week before you go back to work. Start working very hard at getting her on a schedule now...it'll save you a ton of agony later. You're goal should be making the mornings exactly as they would be if you were working. Being late to work because of the baby probably won't be appreciated!

The baby will likely be just fine. You may have a much harder time and will likely need more practice at being away from her for longer periods of time. No one wants a weepy new mom on the team.

My sons loved their day care so much, they cried when I picked them up. That should be your goal. At least you'll know your baby is happy!

Oh! Last thought...getting dressed is the last thing you should do before walking out the door and have a back up outfit ready to go. Spit up happens at the worst times, so be prepared! Also, if you haven't already done so, shift your work clothing to easily washable, rather than dry clean only. You'll save yourself A LOT of time and money.

Good luck...

Stop worrying you will be fine- once you get past all the nervous jitters and emotions. You are being a responsible parent and going back to work to provide better for your baby remember- all will work out. Am a single mother of 2 boyz and work, manage my home, have 2 great kids to show for it, and without a husband. Suck it up and stop your worrying JUST DO IT like the Nike commercial says!

Hi R.,

Congrats on your baby! I too have a 4 month old baby (she is 4 months old today) and I returned to work full time 3 weeks ago. I went back on a Tuesday and used that Monday as "dry run" day. We took the baby to daycare and I spent my day running errands and taking care of me before Tuesday came. I pumped breast milk that day, just like I was going to at work, etc. By the time Tuesday morning came around I had an idea what to expect (of course, I still ended up forgetting 2 things that I needed for work!)It took a good 2 weeks to get into the swing of things, but now we are in a nice routine. I lay out her clothes the night before so it's one less thing to think about in the morning. I get up about 30 minutes before she does so I can eat breakfast and shower first and then tend to her (and my 4 year old) after I am somewhat ready to go.
Hope this helps and good luck!

Start pumping your breast milk as often as you can, freeze it and date it so you can have plenty for her. It won't affect your milk for her, you'll just produce more/supply & demand...

R. P.
First, congrats on your beautiful bundle of joy.
Once the day comes that you have to go back to work. You will be nervous, worried, scared, sad, and your anxiety will most likely go through the roof. But, it will be fine. Just like anything, it will take some adjusting. I don't know how sensitive your job is to new mom. Or whether they don't care one way or another. But, being organized is extremely important. Get everything ready the night before. Don't wake the baby up until you are all ready to walk out that door. If the baby can sleep while your getting ready, that works perfect. If she wakes up and needs you. Put her in her car seat and put her in front of you while you put on your make-up, etc. As long as she can see you, she should stay pretty quite.
Once the baby is a toddler, I found a "company" daycare works better than a daycare out of someones home. Unless its relatives, like grandma and grandpa. Only because, they have set hours. So you know when they will be up and running. Where someone doing it out of their home, is not always up and running when you need them. And I think a child learns more at a facility rather than a home inviorment.
The first time for me. I cried all the way to work. My mascara ran and I was driving while my eyes were burning. It was not a pretty sight. But, believe me,...we survive! We're mom's,...we're tough!

First off, organize your baby's things the night before and know what to pack.

Next, factor in drive time to get to the daycare, finding parking, and I would factor in about 1/2 hour of your time, once you take your girl to day care.... ie: once you get there, take her out of the car, take her to the door, put her things in order, speak to the care provider if you have to, kiss her goodbye etc. That way you are not rushed and stressed, once you drop her off and get back into your car and then drive to work worried that you might be late.

I also keep an extra set of things in the car, just in case I forget something and I'm already on the road and have no time to turn back & go back home to get it.

Then factor in how long it takes you to drive to work door-to-door... the traffic, finding parking etc. and how long it will take you once you leave daycare dropping off, then get into your office door.

Transitioning to day care should be fine... babies adjust... and the care providers are used to that. If anything, your Daycare will certainly have a "schedule" for the children. If you have questions, ask before hand and call them, or write it down so you don't forget anything. Also, you can jot a few notes down to give to the care provider, just in case.

The next thing will be picking her up. Once you get home, then it's good to have a routine. Especially since Hubby is not usually home and has long irregular work hours.

Once you get home, you can give her a bath, feed her her bottle or nurse her if breastfeeding (feeding her on demand once you get home), have time with her, cook dinner with her near by with a few toys or in a swing to keep her occupied. Have downtime, and do something calming with her to then get her in the routine of bedtime. Try to make bedtime the same time every night. Then later, this will make things easier and create a regular habit.

The most important is to have a routine. A CONSISTENT routine, thereby making it easier on you once you both get home. Then, the baby will get used to this routine, and it will make things flow easier and keep you organized.

I know it can seem overwhelming... but I"ve found that having a routine is best and helps (me) in organizing my day with the kids. I am a SAHM... but my hubby works long hours as well, and goes to school afterward... so I am doing things solo most of the time. It can't be helped. I always try to arrive at my destination early at least 10-15 minutes early, then I don't have to rush around or rush my children when we have to be somewhere by a certain time. Once we get home, I have a routine and my kids know that... and they are used to it. And they nap once we get home. This then gives me "me" time to just relax or catch up on things. Keeping to a nap routine is also very important... it keeps the children even keeled and not overly tired, and at night they sleep better too.

No matter what, children will get used to whatever routine & habit there is. My kids know that at certain times, it's Mommy's time to cook dinner for example. Sure, my kids are older, but I've always done this since they were babies. So it's something they are used to by now.

Main thing is don't do things at the last minute... always try to prepare for the next day, the night before. Put out whatever you'll need in one place... for the next day.

There' so many tips... just some I thought of off hand. Hope it helps and all the best. You will be fine....
Take care,
Susan

Honestly, I think it will be harder for you than your child?! Be thankful you only have one to make these arrangements for...I have three boys all with different needs and did it all myself for two years. It's not as hard as it may seem, but you will need to be organized and also remind your superiors that things will not always be perfect in the morning. Ask for a little slack for the first few weeks until you get the hang of it. Im sure they will understand.
Dont worry, you'll be fine and so will your child.

I went back to work part time when my daughter was about 4 months old. It was really hard the first couple weeks (it's been about 2 months now) but it did get better. I took advantage of the "trial day" at the daycare where I could drop her off for part of a day to see how she did and so that it wasn't so scary for her the first day. The only thing I can say is that my daughter is very happy when I drop her off and she sleeps great those nights. If it's the right daycare, I think it's one of the best things you can do for your baby. It gives you a bit of a break to "be an adult" and most importantly for me, I feel like I'm contributing to the family financially which helps my self-esteem.

The daycare will help get her on a schedule because they have to be scheduled there because of the other kids. It took Addi about 2 weeks to really get into the groove.

The biggest thing that helps me is packing her bag the night before. It makes a huge difference in the morning and I'd rather stay up an extra 15 minutes to be prepared than deal with it in the morning.

Also, if she's bottle fed - I get the premade bottles from Infamil. In the morning I pull off the caps and put on the nipples and we're out the door instead of trying to mix formula on the go. My daycare insists that all formual be premade/mixed.

Hope that helps!

Good Luck!

Things to remember.
You are wonderwomen! You can do it all, But not all today.

Try to deep clean once a week, and only straighten up or keep up durring the week, remember if it doesn't get done then theres always tomorrow. What's dirty today will still be dirty tomorrow weather you cleaned it today or not.

Spend as much time as possible with the baby or babies to be, you only have approx 20 years before they move out and that time flies by so fast. One day she crawls the next she's off to kindergarden, then before you open your eyes she's searching for colleges. I promise that one day (when your youngest is about 7) your house will become clean again, This is when they start playing in their rooms, and you no longer have toy clutter, plus they aren't eating cherrios and cookies all over the house.

And I don't know what hours you will be working, but I went back to work around this time of year, where you change your clocks forward. This really through me, because I went to work when it was light and got off at 5pm it was still light until I got 10 minutes away from the babysitter's, all of a sudden I realized I had left my baby all day, it was dark and time to go to bed. What a horrible mother I was for leaving her for so long, and cried my eyes out for about a week, every time I got close to the sitter's. I hope this warning helps you in someway to be prepared.

You'll be fine! Just make things easy. Good Luck! J.

My only advice, the baby comes first. Everything else can wait.