Advice on Appropriate Bedtime

Just my opinion:

My kids are jammied & brushed at 7:00 and lights are out at 8:00. The neighborhood kids are still out and playing but I really do not care. Sleep is so important for kids and too many kids don't get enough because parents don't want them miss out or over-schedule them or just cannot lay down the law.

Most kids I know do not have a regular bedtime and I see the adverse effects; retarded growth, poor school preformance, behavioral issues, not to metion never waking up n time to catch the school bus, multiple tardiness to school, etc etc etc.

Bedtimes should be changed when the kids get into the double digits, but for a 7 year old, 8:00 is appropriate.

Keep him at the 8:00pm bedtime, I am a teacher who sees children come into school and are already exhausted by 9:00am. They are unable to concentrate and some even start to fall asleep. Try giving him 15mins of book time then lights out at 8:15.

My 7 year old niece goes to bed at 9:00 and gets up for school at 7:00.

I am a mother of an 11 and 9 yo that go to bed at 730 or 8pm on school nights and they have to get up at 630 too! I think it is very reasonable for school nights. On the weekend they are allowed to stay up until 10ish. I think you have to know your kids and mine need the sleep. Good Luck!

I think 8 is a perfect bedtime for a seven year old!

How much sleep a child needs can sometimes depend on the individual child. You can try him out a later bedtime if you think he'll do well with it, and still be ok during the day, and get up in the morning. That said, my 8 and 10 year olds go to bed at 8pm on school nights, and they get up at 7:15. My kids are nowhere near ready to have a later bedtime.

I have the same issue ...my soon to be 7 year old son hates his bedtime. It ranges from 8 - 8;30 with him finally getting to sleep sometimes at 9- 9;15. i think you have to see how your son wakes up in the morning and guage ti from there. at the start of the week getting up is ok then by Wed...it is a battle so I tell him 8pm but know it will be at least 9 when he actually goes to bed. He gets between 9 -10 hours of sleep and when he gets less he is cranky and gets sick so the schedule sticks until he is older and stronger. He moans about it but you need to be the mom and know what is best for him not his friends...summer will be here soon and then staying up a bit later is ok...not not much off of our schedule now becasue I works and he will have camp. Good Luck/.

Think about having him in his room for "quiet time" starting at 8:00. Allow him to read quietly for 30 minutes. He'll probably fall asleep after 15! 8:00 is a very appropriate time for his age, but this way he feels like he is being given the option of staying up a little later. Try it out on the weekend and see how it goes.

Hi E.,

I don't think giving him an extra half hour will hurt. I would try it for a week and see how he does. If he seems tired then there's your answer and the proof you need that 8:00 is what he needs right now. Now that its lighter out and the weather is nicer I am sure he would love and extra half hour to play outdoors. Also I would make sure his morning routine is shorter to make up for the half hour and let him sleep a little longer. Maybe lay his clothes out at night, have lunches ready, make sure backpack is packed etc. Its all trial and error and they only way to know what is right for your child. Don't give into the every one else is allowed to business this is only the beginning of that. There are some very lax parents out there and you don't want to feel that type of pressure. I don't think it is being overprotective when you are doing what is best for your child it is just being a good mommy. I also allowed my kids a later bedtime on the weekends and back to the regular time on Sundays. It just shows you are willing to be fair and that school nights are a different ball game. Good luck!!!!

Dear E.,
When my children posed this argument, I extended their bedtime by 15 minute intervals. I also explained to them that I would not tolerate any problems of them getting up in the morning. Otherwise, it was back to the old routine. It worked like a charm.
Your son is getting 10 and a half hours of sleep, and he may not need that anymore. I would do a trial basis, and see how he reacts. As far as other kids in the neighborhood, I used to face the same dilemma. I would explain to the kids that we care about their well-being and their health, and they felt safe and secure. As they grew up, they realized the difference of caring parents as opposed to those who didn't have compassion.
So, I would suggest extending his bedtime to 8:15. See how he reacts, and then to 8:30. At least you have a handle on the situation.
W.

That depends on the child, some require sleep others don't. My oldest (daughter) was not a sleeper from day one so as a new born I would put her to bed at 10 p.m. and she would sleep until 6 or 7, then as she got older she kept that time and still does. My next one(son) was a sleeper and still is so his bedtime was 7 p.m., even in elementary and middle school. My 3rd and 4th children (sons) are not sleepers, they go to bed at 11 or 12 and are up at 6, except on the weekends when they might sleep until 7 or 8, but even that is iffy. Now my 10 year old (son) is in bed by 9 p.m. and is up by 6 a.m. 7 days a week, you can base time off of him. Hope this helps.
Hugs,
T.

Hi E.,

Same goes for my daughter 6:30am wake up call. :) She is only 6 still so I will keep this time for now. In the summer I will give her 9:00pm. Because she goes to a sitter and I do not have to worry about school. Maybe you can add an extra 30 mins. This way you have more to work with later on as he gets older. :)

Hi E., Yes, summertime is very difficult to have an early bedtime but you know what your child needs. I used blackout shades and put on the air conditioner to block out the noise, sang my children a song and that was it. We all needed our sleep. When school is done maybe he can stay up a bit longer. You are the parent, you decide. Grandma Mary

My kids are much younger than your 7 year old, but we have a hard time getting them in at night when they can hear other kids out playing. We avoid the situation as much as possible by keeping them inside once we come in for dinner. During the spring and summer, we have dinner a little later so they can play longer. We also keep their bedroom windows closed at bedtime, because our neighbors all have pools and the kids are in them until 8 pm in the summer! (Our bedtime is 7). From other moms I know with kids in your age range, 8pm is perfectly reasonable.

Hello E.,

It sounds like you've gotten some great advice from everyone. The other aspect you may want to consider is what is good for you and your husband. I don't know if you're a working mom or SAHM but the time you have for yourself is also important. You need time for yourself and you and your husband need time together. The later your son goes to bed, the less time you both have for yourselves. Just something to consider.

R.

I think my kids went to bed at 8:00 at that age, 8:30 would have been the latest. I know that the kids in our neighborhood would be out in the evening, we never got into that with our kids, mostly because I think we at dinner later than most and my kids didn't have much free time after, what with chores, showers, etc.
You could try making his bedtime a half hour later and see how he does, or just allow it on Fridays during the school year. Dont' feel pressured to allow something if it's not going to work to your son's benefit.

I guess I'm the "odd man out." We put our son to bed at 9:00PM. He has to get up at 6:30AM for school too. This is what my parents always did with me, and I never had any problems in school. That's 9 1/2 hours, which should be fine. If I slept too long, I would wind up with a headache. I really think it all depends on your child. If your child can't function in school properly, then he/she might need more sleep or practice focus exercises. A lot of gifted children do not sleep a lot, because their brains are always busy. Also you need to allow a calm, relaxing time before bed. It should be 1/2 hour before bed and can be reading a book, having family TV time, recapping the possitive things that happened that day, enjoying each other's company, etc.

I think 8pm is late enough. My daughter who is 10 years old is in bed at 8:30pm and gets up at 7:30am to get out the door at 8:00am. This has been working very well for her and for me. my other children are older so there on there own but when they were my youngest ages it was the same thing.. in bed at 8:30pm.......You've gotten some great advice and I always say go with what you are doing and don't change it.....good luck...

My kids, including my 9 year old, all go to bed at 8:30 and they do not have to get up until 7:30. I would stick to your guns. It sounds to me like he is right where he needs to be, regardless of what the neighbors do. Good luck!

I think you've got some great advice so far. I just wanted to add that when a child doesn't get enough sleep, the consequences might not be what we, as adults, think of as being 'tired'. They might be cranky, more argumentative, other behavioral changes, weight gain. Just because other kids are out late doesn't mean they need less sleep, it might just be easier to let them run around than enforce a decent bedtime!

Hi E.. My son is 6 and goes to bed between 8 and 8:30. He is a 12 hour man though. If he doesn't get 12 hours, he is a bear. So I guess you have to know how much sleep your son needs. It's hard once the spring comes and it's getting warmer and light out later, but I would have to agree that until school is out, they still need sleep. Maybe pushing it till 8:30 would be okay. For me, if I pushed it later it would wind up being like 9 pm before anyone was sleeping.

Hi E.,

You have the right idea. While sleep duration varies a lot from child to child, the average is around 10 hours at this age, an hour less and you start to see adverse consequences, such as overweight (see http://cme.medscape.com/viewarticle/568253 for a more medical/scientific description of it.)

As a peaceful productivity specialist, I study everything about sleep since it impacts productivity. It seems that the majority of us adults are sleep-deprived at a level or another, and we're starting to do the same thing to our children. It often comes from wanting to see our children after a long day at work, but it hurts them...

My son is almost 7, and we have the following routine: in bed by 8 - 8:10, lights out by 8:30. He wakes up on his own around 6-6:30 in the morning, a sign that he's slept enough.

This being said, let me add a caveat: some kids are naturally night owls, and 8 PM is way too early for them. You know you have one of those when your kid has trouble falling asleep before 9-10, and you have to wake them up in the morning or they'll sleep until 8 (a friend of mine's daughter is like that). If this is your child, see how you can make the morning routine as short as possible, so that instead of waking him up at 6:30, you wake him up at 7 or even 7:30, and give him a bedtime about 10 hours before his wake-up time. If he has trouble falling asleep, say that it's ok, he doesn't have to fall asleep right now, but he needs to stay in bed calmly, with the lights off until he does fall asleep... If nothing else, this will develop his imagination. :-)

You are doing exactly what's best for your child in terms of his development and his school results, I hope the above gave you more ammunition to stick to your guns.

Let me know if there's anything else you need,
K.

My 8yo still goes to bed at 7:30pm. In the summer I am more lax but during the school year I am pretty strict about it. She gets up between 6:30 and 7am and needs her sleep or she ends up in trouble at school. Every child is different but don't let his peer pressure influence his sleep. Kids that don't get enough sleep are more prone to illness, often get worse grades than they are capable of and often find themselves in trouble for being grumpy and problematic. My daughter is always saying to me, "so and so goes to bed at 9 pm." I respond that I am not so and so mom and I am hers so I decide for her. (Just a note, her "so and so" is the worst kid in the class and always in trouble!) all this said I simply mean that if he goes to sleep at 8 or shortly after getting in bed he obviously needs the sleep. If he lays awake foe a ong time then maybe he doesn't need quite so much bed time. Only you can decide! A.