Advice on Adjusting to a New Home

Congratulations on having a sensitive and perceptive little boy. By moving to a new home, you have inadvertently taken away his comfort zone. Stay calm, be patient, and he will adjust with time. Expect him to be clingy and whiney (such fun!!) for awhile.

Time is really the only answer, however you might try relaxing scents. Try Plug ins in Lilac or bake goods (apple pie or pumkin works well with males) during the day you can use those oil buring candles or bake something like cookies. Smells can really change a mood. Good luck

Have you walked around the house with the baby to see if there are anything that could cause allergies..I had a friend whose daughter acted out because of it..weird I know. I guess it is hard for little ones to feel at home in a new place, Maybe spend time in his room just playing reading, hanging out before bedtime...adjustment may take time..he could just be exhausted from moving and all the exitement, make sure to ask the daycare if anything there may be upsetting him too..the more time he spends in his new house the easier it will become. The dog prob has the same thing going on just adjustment stuff, normal.~D.

Dear M.,
Whenever making a major change in a child's life, it is important to make the change exciting and fun for them. The slightest change in their routine can set them into a tizzy; a major change can set their world upside down and make them fell unsure. The trick is to find something about the new house or surroundings that are important or significant to him ONLY. Perhaps you want to make his new room look similar to the old one for now. Perhaps there is a new park in the area. He is very young yet, but for some reason he feels threatened. Your job is to make him feel secure and comfortable in his new surroundings.
When our kids were 5 and 2, we moved to a new, larger house and a new state. We all felt displaced. To ease the pain for the kids, we bought a new dog, a cairn terrier. (We already had a cocker spaniel, but it was not the same. This dog was for them solely.) What a wonderful experience it turned out to be for everyone. This dog was their solemate, their best friend throughout their childhood years.
Good Luck, W.

We also just moved to a new home 3 weeks ago. I have a 2yr old daughter, and yes, it has been a little rough with her adjustment, but it has been getting better. My husband and I took a few nights off from unpacking and have played with her and allowed her to run around and play with her familiar toys. I had informed the staff at her daycare that we were moving, and they have been a big help. They write notes to inform me of her mood swings and have given her some extra time to be "whiney". She too, didn't want to leave the daycare a few times, and one day didn't want to go in the new house. I felt awful.
I've spent extra time putting her to bed in her new room, reading a few extra stories, etc. My instinct was to get it all done as soon as possible, but realized she needed extra attention, too. I think it's important for us to spend as much time as we can with her right now so that she knows we are all there, and aren't going to leave her in an unfamiliar place.
Just hang in there, give lots of extra hugs and make him know it's his house, too. The boxes can wait a few more weeks.

Hi mom,

thats just the problem YOUR NOT going home.

Try limiting your time to a small space

If you used to hang together in the bedroom, then stay in the new bedroom, for the next week till he gets used to it, and can relax, Keep the dog in there with you too LOl

I remember when we bought this house, we had this HUGE space to fill up,
I bought a new sofa and it was a big L shaped with a Chaise

WE were like RATS, Everyone sitting on the same little space of sofa, not spreading out,
LOl

It takes time to adjust, but it will be fine trust me,

try and keep everthing else as routine as possible,

DON'T unpack, or clean, Just be with him

<M

If it feels like a much larger space to you, it's gigantic to him. Help him to become familiar with the new place. Take him through many tours of your new home - so he understands where everything is. Maybe make it a game - roll a ball down the hall and have him chase after it and then roll it into a new room.
Also, think about if anything else has changed. Is he spending more time at the babysitter because you have to travel farther to work? Is he getting less time with you than he's used to because you're unpacking?
Kids this age are creatures of habit. And they try to make sense about more than they can communicate. Talk to him. When you leave the sitter, explain to him as you drive that you're turning to a different road to go to the new house where his bed and favorite toys are in his new room, etc. Make it all matter-of-fact and cheerful, rather than asking a lot of "Ok?" When he's crying at night, tell him you understand it's hard learning how to sleep in a new place, but you know he's going to love it here. Maybe introduce a new lovey.
Good luck! It will get better.

Not to worry, it may take a couple of weeks to adjust. Let him explore, make him feel safe. I have a 4yr old and 10yr old and they still don't like change. We are moving back to our home tomorrow which was recently renovated and they are both nervous and scared. It's new to them and they don't like change. Kids are so use to having a routine that when something is a little different, it throws them off. Make him feel that he has a part in the move as well, let him help you put his toys in his new room and praise him for doing a good job. Get a duster and make pretend that he's helping you settle in. Good luck!

M.--
With respect to having another child, I had my first at 45--no IVF, just drugs, insemination and timing (and a wonderful doctor who had faith in my "24 year-old attitude").
With respect to the whininess and crying--absolutely makes sense! Imagine what you feel like waking up in a hotel room after a deep sleep--very disorienting! Where the heck am I?
Well, at 17 months he can't quite figure it all out, so you need to surround him with as much as you can make familiar. If you have the luxury of doing so, spend the next few days playing with him in his room and get him a fuzzy new stuffed animal to hug. When my son was the same age I had to spend a lot of time running to the hospital to visit my terminally ill Dad. I had a lot of guilt over leaving him with a sitter, so I brought home a cuddly stuffed dog we named Farfal who to this day my son sleeps with and carries with him for the first 10 minutes of the morning. He is almost 8, but I think he still feels the comfort of the familiar, beat up fuzzy buddy who kept him company when Mom wasn't around.
Tell your son that the "new friend" needs someone to comfort him because he is in a new home and is a little scared. I'll bet they becomes lifetime buddies, too.

Do you have his bedroom set up like the old one was? I have handled two moves now with my 2 1/2 year old daughter and both times we had a pretty easy time with her adjusting. At first, I arranged her bedroom exactly how it was at our old place, putting familiar things on the walls and such. Keeping things familiar and spending extra time with him for a few days is crucial. Start with his bedroom, make it as close as you can to the last one then really spend some hours in there with him until he feels comfortable. This is all it took with my little one, we moved once when she was about 9 months and another time a few months ago. Good Luck!