ok .. here is my situation. my fiance & i we were together for 3 years and at the time and was pg w/ our 1st & only child. we bought a house together adn since his credit was "so" good we put the mortgage in his name for the sake of getting a lower interest and after 4 months my name was to go on the deed to the house (which never happened, both our parents gave us money for the down payment and i pd for closing cost. i had the baby and tried and tried to make things work for us but w/ the freedom of his own place he was never around or when he was around he'd sleep all day leaving me to do EVERYTHING by myself. We both work full time jobs. he got done at 3:30 and i would get done at 5:00 .. i'd still have to pick up the baby which my mom takes care of, come home cook, clean, do all the wash, plus still take care of the baby and myself all the while he'd sleep or just get up and go out. every chance he'd get he would throw in my face about the house being his cuase the mortgage was in his name. anyways .. I LEFT there are many other reasons i left .. i stuck it out for over a year and couldnt take NO MORE. i've put so much time and money into the house and had to leave it all. he says i DIDNT have to leave but i was SO COMPLETELY unhappy and worn down he really didnt leave me any choice. he always left the place so unorganized and left things EVERYWHERE. he didnt seem to care if i was there or not. i guess my question is .. how do i go about trying to get back all the money i put into the house. i mean i paid for the painting of the whole interior of the house, a new vinel fence and alot of other things to make it a home. he on the other hand consoidated to get money back to fix up the basement and spent EVERY last penny on going out and having a fun time ... and when he would go out he would stay out until the bars closed at 2-3 in the moring it didnt matter what day of the week it was and i was always home alone. if anyone has ANY advise i'm willing to hear it all. in he mean time i spent every last penny that i had on a new home for me and my son. we are getting by but i'd want what is the money is put into the house. and hes got 2 room mates now that helps him pay for the mortgage he barely has to pay anything toward it cause they pretty much cover it and gives me money ($50-60)ever so often so i know he has money .. he has a GREAT paying job. PLEASE ... HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT I CAN DO. thanks in advance for all your help.
First of all honey you need to go for child support. That way you will know exactly what you are getting each week and they do some type of equation with his income to come up with the set amount. Secondly did you pay for the things for the house by check or credit card where you can prove you paid the closing costs ect. If so, get a lawyer and have him go get your money. What a loser he sounds like. Good luck.
I wish that you were married.... i am under the impression you would have been intitled to more. Not that you do not deserve everything you put into that house. I wish you the best of luck. Maybe you can go to court and let a judge order him to pay you back?? I don't know how this works...i am sorry.
Hi C.,
I am so sorry to hear that you had to leave. Sometimes it is better for you and the child. Stay strong! Question for you, did you pay everything with checks or cash? I'm asking because a paper trail will probably help you in the long run to get some of this money back. I would find a good lawyer and get things moving! They are the best people to get that kind of advise from. Here's a website for the firm I work at.
www.RaymondandColeman.com
I hope everything works out for you!
J.
I don't have all the answers, but start here. Find every single receipt you can. Closing cost is typically a check, so you should be able to get some of that back, as well as painting costs and the fence since all that adds to the value of the home. Talk with a lawyer and see if you even have a case. Or you can take it to small claims if it's under $5K, but I know a vinyl fence can cost that alone.
Since you are now living in separate residences, file for child support. He will claim he is doing it already with the little $50-$60 he's giving you. Try and add up how many times he has done that cause he will try to get credit for that in court. If you know the exact # and he is guessing you will have more credibility.
Also, have your parents pursue a separate case for the money they invested. They did so to put a roof over their daughter and grandchilds head, but since their money is no longer doing that, they may be able to get their money back as well.
The more you can put together(receipts, bank statements, cancelled checks) the better off you will be. One of the ladies said, just move on, but I know how hard that can be, especially when the man who wronged you looks to be sitting on easy street while you struggle. Once you have court mandated child support, you'll feel better. That way you know that he is at least paying for his child too. And if he asks for a paternity test, don't get upset. Its just something that men do. Submit to it and get your money. The court won't give you enough to make things right, but it should be enough to help.
Best of luck!
Oh, and this is not sound legal advice. I just watched a lot of court TV on my maternity leave. :)
C. R.
You need to talk to a lawyer. I don't think you will be able to recoupe any money you put into his house, But he should be paying child support at least until your son is 18 years old or longer. Good Luck.
First of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. You gave of your self, your money and energy, and the way he has treated you is unacceptable. You should pursue every avenue you can for child support.
As for the house... I hate to say this, because I know how hurt you are, but I think you have to put that behind you. You should absolutely be reimbursed by him, but legally, I don't know if you can get him to pay you, especially since you're name isn't on the deed. Maybe you can, it probably wouldn't hurt to talk to a lawyer.
As difficult as this may be, try not to waste any more time thinking about him... this was an expensive lesson (from a money standpoint), but now you have your beautiful son and he is counting on you. Try not to let this make you bitter or change who you are. This kind of thing can eat you alive if you let if. Focus on your son and being the best woman you can be... your ex will be sorry he messed things up with you and probably want you back.
Why not take a page from his book and get some roomates of your own to help pay the mortgage too???
I wish you all the best -- you didn't deserve what happened, but leave it in the past and focus on having a great life.
