Advice from on Demand Breastfeeding Moms

Updated on April 27, 2009
S.C. asks from Fort Worth, TX
21 answers

I breastfeed my 4 month old on demand. He doesn't have a sleep schedule. He doesn't take a nap or go to bed at the same time everyday. I need advice whether to expect him to even have a schedule and how to establish a schedule. Thank you so much for your advice.

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

My pediatrician said that I could put my kids on a schedule at two months, and that's what I did. I had them sleeping through the night in less than a week. I regained my sanity at that point because I was also finally getting enough sleep. It was a tough week, but so worth it. Good luck.

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hello, from another homeschooling momma! :)

My little nurser, now 6 mos old, is fed on demand; as was her big sister. I've never tried to fit them into a schedule, but adapted more to meet theirs. Not really even a schedule, though, more like a flow. At roughly the same time each day, she'd eat/nap/play, etc. by about 4-5 months. I say flow, because as they grow, it changes. So I never attempted to establish any sort of schedule or expectations. We hang out, we eat, we play. Somehow, everyone ends up getting what they need and my house eventually gets clean-ish. :)

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

I breastfed on demand as well until I had to put my baby on a schedule. My babies and I preferred it that way. I started them on a schedule when they started daycare; after I went back to work - 3 months. I really think it is up to you. It does make things a bit easier for you if you put them on a schedule; especially if you have anyone watching your child. It is easier to tell them how often they eat and what to expect. I am sure your baby has some sort of schedule if you really watch. She probably takes 3 naps a day around the same time and maybe feeds every 2-3 hours. Just start the first day really watching and writing down when she does everything and just start to mirror that.

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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

I think it's pretty difficult to establish a schedule when you are feeding on demand. Do you have to feed on demand??? If he is gaining weight well then you can try to stop the on demand feeding and set up a schedule. I had to feed my son on demand until he was 5 months old and then I transitioned to formula as he wasn't gaining well. When I did that I started using the suggestions in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". The first 2 days were difficult, but after that he was taking 2 2 hour naps a day and going to bed at 6:30 and sleeping until 7 am. It made a HUGE difference. I could even put him in his crib awake, but drowsy and he wouldn't fuss. he would play or babble a little and then drift off to sleep. You need to be pretty structured to do this plan, but it works if you work it! good luck

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.,
From my experience, I found that from birth to three months there is no schedule. From three to six months a pattern develops (eat, play, sleep for more consistent time frames) and then after six months you can actually start putting times to the babies routine. This seemed to be the natural progression in developing a routine for us....hope that helps.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is six months old...and she has always been fed on demand (so was my son). But they both seemed to put themselves on a schedule without me pushing for it. At the end of four months is when I noticed it beginning to happen. And a few weeks into the fifth month she started sleeping through the night. Now I can pretty well predict when she will want to eat..and since I think I was the human pacifier for many of her first months, I am very grateful!

My son was also a breast fed baby. He also seemed to get on a pretty consistent schedule around the sixth month mark. I also fed him on demand. But he did not sleep through the night until he was about a year old!

My sister in law fed her baby on demand until about three months of age, then she started scheduling the feedings. She just refused to feed her baby until an appropriate amount of time passed...I don't know how she could do it. I went crazy listening to the hunger cries. Now the baby is four and half months old and she still isn't on a consistent schedule.

I think every baby is different and you have to do what works for you!

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.,

I breastfed both of of mine on demand, too. I wasn't worried about much of a structure until about 6 months, when they started eating solids. I agree with the other moms who work on more of a pattern. In general, around 5 months old, sleepy time seemed to follow wake-up time by about 2-3 hours. Then mid-day feeding, then playing, then another sleepy time, then dinner, then bath, then bed. Things just seemed to start to work in 2 hour chunks of time. If you have no plans on returning to work outside the home, then you may be able to live with this sort of loose pattern of the day.

I just started each morning whenever the kids decided they were ready to start their day and we went from there. I watched the clock throughout the day to get a sense of how long it had been since their last feeding/sleeping, to guide the day.

Hope this helps.

Peace,
M.
www.yogapotential.com

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

i established a routine for my baby boy when it came to bedtime. he usually takes a nap b/w 10 and 11 and another b/w 2 and 4. sometimes, i will breastfeed around those time to see if he is interested and he usually will fall asleep. i usually feed him solid food for supper around 530, bath at 630 then "sleepy-time" at 7pm. he is so used to it if we go beyond 7 he is crying to go to bed. it is really easy to establish a schedule after it becomes a routine. my baby just turned one but we have been doing this for awhile. good luck.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Now is the time to start developing a schedule for the baby's sake and for yours. A great book to get you started is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It will explain when and how much sleep a baby needs as they grow and mature.

Good luck.

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A.W.

answers from Dallas on

My Babies never had a schedule.

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K.T.

answers from Dallas on

I think 4 months is still to young to put on a rigind schedule BUT, around the time you would like to start training him to sleep I would quiet the house turn lights down and minimize stimulation if you can :o)

My latest baby (#5) is 6 months old and goes down anywhere between 7:00-9:00 depending on how tired she is and I just follow her cues. The rest of the kids are on a different time My 3 & 5 year old are in bed by 8:30 and the 16 & 14 year old are to be in their rooms by 9:00 reading or talking on the phone or whatever until lights out at 10:00. It gives me time to connect with the dh or study.

As baby gets olde they sort of start regulating themselves somewhat and you'll probaby notice it more sinc eyou are at home full time but for now, I would still follow baby cues for what he needs for sleep and eating..this stage will pass all to fast :o)

K.
Mom to 5!

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H.B.

answers from Dallas on

I also feed my almost three week old on demand and fed my 20 month old on demand. My 20 month old was really never on a schedule until I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. I really wouldn't worry too much about it! What we do now though, is put our three week old to bed at the same time every night, eight, so that we can start some kind of bedtime routine. We also put our 20 month old to bed at 8 so that it can be a routine with both of them! I hope that helps!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

I breast feed on demand as well. My son just turned 7 months old and he has pretty much set his own schedule. He started this around 6 months. He naps and eats around the same time everyday. If you are fine with the way things are going, then just give it time. Your little one will set up his own schedule. The only thing I am consistent with is his bed time. I lay him down between 7 and 8 every nite. He now knows that it is time to go to bed. He also started napping around 9:30 in the morning. He set this up. I just lay him in his crib around that time and he goes right to sleep. We are a very active family so a schedule does not work for us. I know I am always home in the evening and first thing in the morning so these are the only two times that I actually stick to.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

You have got-to-got-to get "Good Night, Sleep Tight" They have it at the library. It's the best baby sleep/schedule, etc book I have read and found (ANd I've read a bunch!)She's the best! I heard about it on mamasource and it was a life saver! I wish I had had it with my first one when he was 4months old! Would have saved me so much headache!!! Did it with my second son with SPECTACULAR results!

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hey S.,

I have a 4 month old and I started him on a routine/schedule at about 2 months. I get him up (it was 7am but now I am back to work so it's 6am and I spend an hour with him playing in the morning) - basically, there are a million opinions out there and all babies are different. So I'm told... I only have one. LOL

Anyway, I read all the books and decided that I KNEW MY son...and I used bits and pieces of them all. I get him up, and we do eat/awake time/nap... I look for cues (i.e eating of his hands) so I feed him.... then we play when he gets fussy (i.e. turns his head away, yawns, etc.) I put him down for a nap then he sleeps and we do it all over again. I'm not a fan of "crying it out" but I also know that if I go and pick him up every time he fusses, he'll never sleep. So, I listen... if he is just crying/stopping/crying/stopping, I know he's tired but if it's something out of character for HIM... I may go in and soothe him, kiss him, start his mobile, sometimes ifhe's back enough, I pick him up and rock him but I ALWAYS make sure I put him down tired, not asleep, he needs to figure out how to pu himself to sleep or I'll be doing it for the rest of his life. Not sure that helps... it's just what worked for me. But again, this is my first child... what the heck do I know!? I do know...he's sleeping 9-10 hours at night he eats and sleeps 3 more and THAT is a huge blessing!! Good luck

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S.

answers from Dallas on

I also recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." you could still feed on demand, but work toward developing healthy sleep patterns. My girls are now 10 & 7, are excellent sleepers - and I completely credit that to the book.

Good Luck,
S.

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C.W.

answers from Dallas on

Another vote for "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." My little guy is 5 months old, and he is exclusively breastfed. On the weekends, we are mostly on-demand w/a feeding schedule, but he has a set routine and bedtime every night. We start around 6pm w/a nice warm bath, then we get dressed in our pjs, nurse, sing or storytime, and bedtime by 7pm, 7:15pm at the latest. He's out and sleeps until about 6am the next morning.

During the week, he's at daycare and drinks my expressed milk from bottles for most of the day - 4 ounces every 2.5 hours or so(I go there at noon and nurse) - so Monday - Friday, he nurses at 6am and 8am with a nap shortly after, bottle around 10am, nurse around noon followed by another nap, bottles at 2:30 and 5:00 with a couple of short naps during this time, and I pick him up right before 6pm - we get home and do our usual nightime routine and he's down by 7:15pm. I'm a big believer that routines make your life and your baby's life easier, regardless of whether you feed on demand or on a schedule - when we feed on demand on the weekends, we still have pretty much the same routine. :)

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

They say children do so much brtter with more of a structure. I never had mine on a strict schedule, so an exact one, I can't tell you about, but I at least knew within an hour about when I needed to get them to bed, and had an idea about when I thought they would wake up. As for the feeding I gave mine rice cearel with the last feeding at night, even if you breast feed, and they seem to sleep at least from 9 to 5:30 the next morning at the age yours is. Tis didn't apply to all four of mine, but is a general example, as it was that way for my first one. The others didn't have the same sleep schedule. If I thought they weren't really hungry, and their diapers were dry, I gave a pacifyer to content them until I thought it was about time to eat. I didn't give them a pacifyer otherwise.Mine went about four hours by the time they were 4 months. I know all babies are not the same, but mine gained very good. You know your baby, and if you really think it is hungry and not just discontent, then don't worry about the (schedule). A nap mid morning and mid afternoon, keeps them from getting too cranky about supper time, espically the afternoon one, so just try putting him down by 1:30 or 2:00. Whenever you have the afternoon feeding.

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S.C.

answers from Austin on

My 8 mo old son is bf on demand too and I have always just followed his cues. He sort of started regulating himself in the last couple months but no 2 days are exactly the same. The only thing we have always adhered to is bedtime. He seemed to get tired each day by 6:30 or 7 so his bedtime has been around 7pm for most of his life. The bedtime routine is the same each day (except that every other day is bath night and the other night we just wash face and hands). Starting solids has also provided more structure as we try to eat lunch between 11:30 and 12 and dinner around 6...breakfast depends on when he wakes up (usually between 6 and 8 depending on whether or not he woke up once during the night). If you put your son to sleep for a nap whenever you see him begin to yawn instead of trying to make him sleep at certain times of the day then I believe he will regulate himself eventually.

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

I have a 10 month old and I fed her on demand. She started to put herself on a schedule. She took 3 naps a day and ate every 2 hours. She slept about 8-10 hours at night, so she at more frequently during the day to make up for her missed feedings while sleeping. I never woke her up to feed her to get her on a schedule. I figured she knew when she was tired and when she was hungry. Just trust your instincts and do what is best for you and your baby.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

We had a pattern - not a schedule. We hit bed between 8 and 9 every night, (I coslept - they nursed at night, but I slept) we went down for a nap that was about an hour and a half long at 11 and 3 - give or take 30 minutes.

I like predictability, but have never been consistent enough to keep myself on a regular schedule - much less my children. The predictability of the pattern, though - let me schedule things like pictures, doctor's appointments, mommy lunch at times when I could be fairly sure they would be awake and happy.

HTH
S.

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