Advice/creative Solutions for Terrible Threes

i was told once, that four can be as good as twos for tantrums, but my son at home only threw one and it happened when I was 7 months pregnant and he was very fakey about it. He threw himself down on the floor and kicked and cried (fakey cry) and I whipped around and told him he better get off that floor and knock it off, or I would grab him by the neck and drop kick him into his room. I have never seen him move so quickly to his room, where he stayed for about an hour or more. Then he poked his head out and asked if it was safe to come out. I felt kind of bad, but I was tired and cranky with that pregnancy lol. He never tried that for me again, but occasionally the babysitter would complain about it (she had other 4 yr olds doing the same things). Its not a very creative idea, but it worked great for me! lol However it is probably better to start with talking to her about things, you would be surprised how much they can relate with you on this level. A sticker chart for chores will help with cleaning up her room and other things, plus having some other simiple chores really boost self esteem. And of course ignoring the bad behavior and praising the good really does help. I am never against a swat on the butt if they are really really out of control. Be consistant and patient, and things will smooth out. My son is now 8 and quite a great kid. Good Luck!

hey A. i call the four hooreable four stand your ground she will give in sooner or latter

I have four daughters (ages almost 7-18 months) and when I read the book "Happiest Toddler on the block" (forgot the author and have loaned the book), I was really surprised at how many of the suggestions really worked! He mentiones ideas for 1-5 year olds and he explains life from their perspective. It really helped a struggling mom to be happy and sane! you've probably heard of those series of books. Also, have you heard of the House Fairy (online)? Check her out, we've seen great results. The other thing I would recommend is make sure you are taking care of you because it is hard to be "smarter" than your toddler and be really creative when you are running on overwhelm all the time, believe me I know! Good luck! try cutting out a few things, you only have this precious little toddler once, she'll never be this age again. sounds like she just needs YOU!

I have a son that is almost 4. He went through the same stage. When he would act out, I started giving him until the count of 3 to stop his fit, or he went to time out for 3 minutes and then he lost whatever toy or activity made him upset, for the rest of the day. I still enforce that rule, and his fits are far less. He can usually take a deep breath and calm down by the count of three. The most important thing you can do, is go through with your threat. If you threaten to take the toy away, or give them more and more chances, then they won't take you serious. Whatever you threaten to do, make sure you do it. Hope that helps!
D.

Hi A....I think our kids must be related somehow, because my four year old son did the exact same thing! It was like he had a split personality. I thought once we got past the "terrible two's" we were home-free, but I was SO wrong! He is almost five now and thankfully it has gotten better. When he threw his fits, we just ignored it (the best we could) and tried to distract him with something positive (hugs and kisses, the "tickle monster", etc) and eventually they were less in intesity and frequency. An article I read in a parenting magazine addressed this issue by explaining that children this age are not fully capable of knowing how to manage their emotions yet and so they react the only way they really know how-by crying and throwing temper tantrums. Hang in there-it does get better, I promise! :) K.

A., you are describing my 3 year old to a tee! Just stand your ground and mean what you say...remember you are the parent. I think these phases come all through childhood...they just get harder! :)
L.

A.,
I have a 6 year old girl who was just like your daughter. When she turned four I thought her head was going to start spinning. but it was a short lived. I stood my ground left her alone to throw her tantrums and did not react to them. I mde sure to notice when she said please thank you and may I, when she was good I rewarded her and let her know I love her. Now she is six and doing fantastic no temper tantrums, she know's I am the boss and she is very helpfull with her younger brother and sister. Dont worry this to shall pass.