Advice...

I held off responding to this post because I wanted some time to think about it. I responded to your first one, after your son was left alone. I wanted to be able to give the best advice that I could give on this particular subject.

First, you are upset and angry. I know that you want what is best for your son and your family. Being angry about what happened can alter the way you might respond though. So think things through before acting.

I think the very first thing that you should do is go down to the police station, the one in the area of the day care center and file a report. Your husband was the one who found him so they may need to speak to him about it after you file your report. Once the report is filed, find out what they recommend your next step to be.

Secondly, your son was neglected, there is no way to candy coat it. Neglect is serious when it comes to a child of this age. I am concerned that he never be able to go back into a day care situation that would even resemble the same kind of atmosphere. His little mind may very easily add one plus one and become terrified of being left alone within that kind of atmosphere. I think you need to talk to someone about what happened to him and see if there is a way to help him through it, that is if it becomes an issue for him.

I also think that the day care provider must know how upset you are by now. If you have not called them, or gone down there, you are a better person than I would be about it. If they are aware of how upset you are, they are pulling their ranks together in order to protect themselves and their business. Any action you take is going to be seen as an attack on their business and be hit with resistance, are you ready to see it through to the end?

I am having trouble imagining what situation would have brought about your son being left like that. Why was he in a stroller? Why was he in that room? Why were the doors locked? I know that accidents happen and kids get left behind. I am wondering what kind of events would have led up to this particular situation. I think that is an important issue to follow up on. It is a very important question to have the answer to. What lead up to his being in a stroller in that room. Was he left there by an older child playing and then getting distracted and leaving him behind? Was he left there by an employee? Was he left there on purpose as a punishment of some sort? Was he left by accident? Does anyone admit to knowing why he was there in the first place? All of these questions need answers.

I am glad that your husband found him. I am sorry that your son had to go through it. I hope that you are able to bring it to the attention of the authorities and take it as far as it will go. I do think that you and your son need some time to heal, both of you. Hug him and be there for him. Thank you for being such a good mom to that little guy.

S.,
My heart goes out to your son. That should have never happened! Many others gave you great advice about calling Family Services and Daycare Licensing. This must be reported so that it can be dealt with for your family as well as any other children that are being cared for there. My personal opnion is that you should alert not only the moms on Mamasource but also any agency or person who might actually use that daycare. I know it must be hard to tell people what happened but you don't want others to send their child there. I would also definitely recommend talking to your pediatrician about how to help your son get through the trauma. Fortunately, kids can be very resilient but he still will need some extra TLC to feel safe again. When searching for a new daycare, you can review the files of daycare facilities and homes that are licensed at the daycare licensing office. This way you will see what types of complaints or licensing violations they have had against them. Good luck!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE call DFS on them. They must be turned in. You do have a case. I used to run in a childcare
department. They will investigate the situation.

You must call and turn them in. If you don't feel comfortable, ask your husband to.

Please take him out of that daycare.

If he wasn't injured or other harmed, then there isn't a lawsuit. It does sound like you can report the daycare to the State and alert them to the problems.

But lawsuits are only for cases with actual monetary damages (i.e., an injury with medical bills)

I don't know if you have a case or not, but you should contact family services and let them know what happened. They may be able to point you in the direction of someone who can help you. Also, the state gives daycare aide to those who cannot afford it. I'm sure that they would like to know the name of the daycare so that they can take them off of their list of providers.

Most people don't realize that being licensed-as far as daycare is concerned- really means nothing. They give the crappiest of daycares and daycare providers licenses. All that basically means is that they did the paperwork to get the license.

I seriously doubt you would win a case or even find a prosecutor to press charges, but maybe I'm wrong, I'm not really that familiar with how the court system deals with these situations. All I can say is I have seen and turned in some pretty crappy stuff to DFS and they really can't/don't/won't do much without pretty damning evidence. I would seriously be surprised if the daycare even lost their license.

Definitely pull him out of that daycare and find someone/somewhere else, preferably NAEYC-accredited. (NAEYC is the National Association for the Education of Young Children...it is a tough accreditation to get and keep, and they don't hand them out to just anyone, unlike state licenses.)

OMG, my heart breaks for your little boy and your family. My prayers are with you while you figure out what to do. God bless you and your decision to figure out how this NEVER happens to another child again.

First things first. I would seek the advice of a pediatric psychologist. I doubt if you son will ever feel safe in strolers or that daycare facility without some amount of therapy. Also, in order to determine injury, you would need to talk with a pediatric psychologist.

There are two different types of charges that can be filed, criminal and civil. You would need to talk with the public attorney's office to determine if criminal charges are possible. If I were in your position, I would also file a civil suit, but would not necessarily seek personal financial compensation. Instead I would try to see if it was possible to ask that all court and lawyer fees be paid by the daycare and that the court force the daycare to make whatever changes are necessary so that it is not possible for such a thing to happen in future, even if that means hiring someone to oversee all areas of the building on a regular basis or installing sound or video systems so that no area of the premisis goes unmonitored. It is also completely just and reasonable to ask that any fees for psychological examinations and/or treatments be paid by the daycare.

Finally, it is best not to return to that daycare no matter what the outcome. I doubt any of you will ever be able to place any trust in them again. You may think this is an obvious point that needn't be mentioned, but I've seen people accept slippery appologies and send their children right back into an abuser's hands. It does happen.

May you all find peace of heart and mind in the wake of this event. My prayers are with you all.

S.,
At the very least I would contact the Missouri Child Abuse Hotline. If you are in another state sorry, contact that state's Children services or whomever is in charge of licensing day care. This may be an isolated incident but it's an incident. I would also be looking for somewhere else to be taking my child, and be certain the director of the daycare knows so they can take corrective action against the employee responsible.
I'm so glad to hear that in the end your son was ok.
T.

First thing you need to do is document everything, and I mean everything. Who was working with your child, how long you estimate he'd been in the room, etc. Then you need to go to the director and tell them (calmly) what happened, and ask them what she/he intends to do about it (my thought would be to have that worker fired, but that's just me)and if you are not satisfied w/that answer, speak up, and ask if there is a higher up you can talk to. If not, I'd pull him outta there and find a new daycare, explaining what happened at the other daycare. Also I would report them to the BBB and the state.

S.,
You have to take action against the daycare. My heart goes out to your son. I can't imagine how frightened he must have been.
Also, don't hesitate to get this information out to everyone. Expose them on this website. We, as consumers, need to be more vocal about these types of things. The people who take their children to that daycare deserve to know what happened.
Good luck.
C.