ADHD Third Grader

Hey M.
I honestly don't think medication is the answer,we tried it for a week when my oldest was in third grade.However,we weren't convinced in the first place that he had add.
Have you thought about nutrition,good vitamins including omega 3's? If you are interested,I have some information that might help.
www.SwitchStoresForHealthyLiving.com

M.,
I have been there with you! My daughter, in 3rd grade, could not finish her 15 minutes of work in less than 2 hours and a bucket of tears. Her teachers said they didn't know how to teach her, and the Committee on Special Ed said it was my fault - that I was stressing her out. Since she did not exibit hyperactivity, ADHD was not considered her problem.
The good news is that there is hope, and lots of it. Today my daughter is a sophomore in college, studying to be an art teacher, and was on the Dean's list last year. This is a girl who would not have graduated from high school! The journey we took together was so successful (increased her IQ 20 points, she became an independent learner) that I help families get through the struggles, with the most efficient and effective methods that I have found. What took us 2 years to complete, most families can complete in 6 to 9 months.
If you are near Albany, NY you can see me, and I can go through this with you; visit my web site at www.HowYourMindWorksLady.com; or research these topics on your own.
I give a screening that lasts an hour and a half that looks at nutrition, neuro-development, sensory-motor abilities, and cognitive abilities (memory, processing speed, visual processing, auditory analysis, logic and reasoning, and selective visual attention). I am not looking at labels - I am looking at symptoms. What keeps your son from attending? Is it that he has hypersensitive hearing? Does he attend visually to everything or nothing? Does he have a nutritional imbalance or allergy that makes it hard for him to focus? This and much much more is explored.
Next, I evaluate the results, and create a plan of attack for you that may include seeing a nutritionist, seeing a behavioral optometrist for vision therapy, or working with me for listening therapy, movement therapy, or cognitive training (that increases IQ, and improves all the areas mentioned above and more). The final result is that the causes of the ADHD are reduced to the point that they no longer interfere with your son's success.
Having been where you are now, I completely understand - all you want is for your son to be happy, successful, and independent. Best of luck with all you do!
One last note - I sent my daughter to 4 different schools (3 private), including one that had only 40 students in the entire school. Some may have been able to accommodate for her needs, yet none could help make her work independently.

The nature of ADHD is that it takes more stimulation to keep the brain "interested" than the more typical person. It is often explained as the person needing "scaffolding", support and prompting from outside, to keep the mind up and running.
Thomas E. Brown, PhD explains it better than I can.
http://www.drthomasebrown.com

The hyperactive movement has been explained as the body's effort to keep the brain's chemical network functioning (like moving around to keep from falling asleep during a meeting). The book "Fidget to Focus" http://www.fidgettofocus.com
is a wonderful resource for helping keep your son stimulated.

Another important piece of the scaffolding has to be finding ways to keep necessary tasks interesting (and fun if possible). There are tons of books out there with advice about rewards, praise, games, etc.

Dr. Ross Greene-- http://www.explosivechild.com
writes about oppositional children; but what he says applies to all of us: “Instead of asking yourself, ‘What’s it going to take to motivate this kid to behave differently?’ ask ‘Why is this so hard for this child? What’s getting in his way? How can I help?’”
I have no idea what's getting in your son's way, whether it's some kind of processing problem, a writing problem, anger, sadness, worry, boredom, whatever; but it may help to try a different approach with him to look further into the problem. Additional help like psychotherapy or tutoring may help.

CHADD (http://www.chadd.org) is the national organization for people with ADHD. I advise anyone who has ADHD or loves someone with ADHD to join and participate in CHADD. The national office is a source of information and advocacy, and the local chapters have support groups for education and the exchange of ideas in addition to lectures by local professionals.

Finally, about medication (which as a nurse practitioner is my field of expertise), the dose may not be high enough, you may not have found the right medication yet, and/or he might be one of those people who benefit from a combination of meds. I often add a 24 hour medication like Strattera or bupropion to the daytime med; or medication for depression or worry might be helpful, as well as working with a therapist. Sadly, more than 50% of people with ADHD have other problems along with it.

I hope this helps. ADHD is a complex problem and there is more and more help out there for you.

I'm a former teacher, so I can feel your pain. Quite a few kids face this challenge, and it's not the teacher's fault! :) Our hands are tied by inappropriate, unfair testing standards. I'm a big believer in assessment, but not in the way we're doing it these days.

That 504 plan is a great tool, and I'm so glad you and your son's teacher found this extra support. But it's unlikely that your son will test well, now or in the near future, with just extended testing time. Most third graders struggle with focus during these intense tests. And students with special needs, no matter how bright they are, often struggle even more. As long as your son's teacher recognizes his gifts, and encourages different learning styles, then I'd keep him in his current school. Testing is just one way of assessing your son, and it's the school's job to find other ways to show what he's learning as well.

That homework situation is unbearable, though! Is that happening often? Does his teacher know this is occurring? If so, then it's time to have a serious talk with the principal about alternative educational support. She may not know, however. Sometimes kids don't speak up, especially if they're embarrassed!

I would ask for another conference immediately, and possibly ask for a special education teacher or assistant principal to sit in as well. Explain exactly what your concerns are. A special education teacher can offer good ideas to the general classroom teacher. (I've learned my best teaching strategies from my special education teacher friends!) An assistant principal can offer the added benefit of making sure your son's teacher knows the seriousness of your feelings. Choosing to add an administrator to the mix can either help or hurt, depending on how defensive the teacher feels/acts.

Not all teachers like to have parent advocates address them this way, but I have to say- the squeaky wheel gets the grease! A good teacher will welcome your input, and will probably be relieved to know that you are aware of the issue. She is likely very worried herself, and wondering what else she can do to support your son!

Good luck!

I'll bet your son is bored. He's bright and has no patience for the kind of "training" he is getting. He would thrive if "educated"...

Schedule another 504 meeting in writing and send everything to everyone by certified, return receipt mail. Cc: everyone involved.

Insist on a one-on-one aide and special location for testing. If his teacher feels he is too distracted in the classroom, the aide can keep him on-track there too. I work as a one-on-one aide and some of the kids I've worked with are like your son. Very bright, but unable to focus.

There is NO reason for a parent to sit in the classroom to keep a child focused on their work. He needs to be introduced to stratagies that will serve him in the rest of his life. (You are not going to be sitting with him through HS and college, or going to work for him when he';s older.)
If his teacher can't offer this, then the child needs resource room with a special ed teacher, and an aide in the classroom.

Another option for him is an inclusion class. They have two co-teachers. One a mainstream teacher, one special-ed. The two teachers run the classes in tandem. It's not just the special ed kids who get the attention, the teachers help the entire class to learn in different ways. You tend to find more flexible creative teachers, with a broader range of skills in these classes.

Make a list of what you want for your son, and what the district has to offer. At the beginning of the 504 meeting, state your goals, and what you expect from the committee. Make it clear you will be recording the meeting (You are ABSOLUTELY allowed to do this in NYS) and take detailed notes. Ask for coppies of all the assessments and reports before your meeting, and ask for explanations of anything you don't understand. If they present you with paperwork at the meeting, tell them you wish to reschedule for a time after you have been able to review their doccumentation.

Also, if you disagree with the committee's findings, you can sign a letter of partial agreement, and appeal the parts of the 504 that you disagree with. When in the meeting keep the committee focused on your son and his best interests... Don't get distracted by double talk.

Also the best thing I ever did was to consult a Special Ed lawyer. For the $250 consultation fee, I got more leverage than I ever could of gotten on my own. Just being able to cc: him on the letters worked like a charm.

Two good resources are www.wrightslaw.com and www.schwablearning.com

Good luck with everything.

Hi M.
This is not an easy situation.
Have you thought about homeschooling?
You may think at first glance that this is crazy but your words say he is a bright kid. Is it possible that the public school is using poor methods of teaching your child. Is there too much down time because he used to finish quick so had to put his head on the desk to wait for the others? The learned response to that is to go slower and that leads to not bothering to stay on task.
How much time do you spend getting him to do what some teacher thinks is important? How much time does the teacher spend actually teaching? I am not antipublic school, but I do think that it is not right for all kids. Some kids need one-on-one to learn. Homeschooling offers that possibility.
I did not check where you lived but if you are interested in more info or how to check into homeschooling. write me.
God bless you
K. SAHM married 38 years=== adult children 37 coach and entrepreneur; 32 lawyer, (we were offered meds for him at 18 mos. diagnosed hyperactive, and some days I was pulling my hair out)--he and his lovely wife gave us our first grandchild this summer; and twins 18 ---homeschooled them pulling them out in Oct of 3rd grade, and homeschooling them through high school. One is majoring in fine arts; and the other journalism(she never picked her head up off the floor til she was 10 months old) at different colleges finishing their first semester.

I wish I had some advice. My 16 y/o son has ADD and never cared about school. When he got a good grade he would not tell me and if I found it in his back pack he would say 'oh yeah.' When he failed a test he didnt care, he just said it was stupid and didnt feel like doing it. He is supposed to be a junior this year, but doesnt have enough credits, so NOW he is worried that he wont graduate with his class. The school and I decided to send him to an alternative high school and he seems to be doing better in a controlled small classroom.

Hi M.,

I can certainly relate to your situation. My son who is now in 5th grade is "inattentive" but not at all hyperactive. We have chosen not to medicate since I'm not convinced it will help with his attention and I just don't want to go down that road. A friend recently introduced me to the Feingold diet (you can google it to find out more info) It basically entails getting all the chmeicals and additives out of what they eat. I have not yet implemented it, but plan to as soon as I get my packet of info. Also, Omega 3's are excellent for brain fucntion. You can get a pleasant tasting "paste" at the health food store.
I am always reading this site for any "pearls of wisdom" that I can pick up related to this problem.
Good luck!
K.

I would highly recommend you read the book "Boys Adrift" by Leonard Sax. I think he gives a lot of insight on boys with ADHD, and similar disorders. I have two boys and I found the book very helpful. God Bless!

Hi M., I have used this site for the past few months for my 14yr old ADHD son. Thinking back to my son as a 3rd grader I remember how hard it was to not only work with the school but to get through the homework time afterschool.

Concerning the school - I would suggest that you make sure that all suggested ADHD accomodations are spelled out on the 504. There is so much emphasis on specific tests that teachers and administrators don't focus on the everyday life of the child. Things like rereading the instructions to him, sitting him in the front of the class and ensuring that the teachers remind him to stay on task are key tools that enable your child to learn compensation skills for the issues he faces. I know your son is young but if he is given more structure now it will more likely become part of his nature to implement the tools and feel successful. And that is what it is all about. The school should feel a moral obligation to help him and the added bonus for them is he will achieve on these key tests.

Concerning homework - Oh boy do I feel your frustration. The approach I took and still take with my son is making sure he logs his homework (and brings home the books he needs!), we discuss the list when he gets home and plan a schedule for him each night that includes - first some initial downtime, then 15 minute reminders that he agreed to start this item at such and such a time. I give him a small break and again say okay it's time to finish up. So I try to get one thing out the way and then after a break help him (by reminding him to stay on task) plow through the rest. Sometimes dinner falls in between but I am conditioned now to remind him of our "deal" and heap on the praise when it's all done.

I know in third grade it doesn't mean much to him if his homework gets done but between the praise and perhaps a small reward at the end of the week he will start to think "Hey - this is worth it".

This approach has been my "religion" for many years. My son is having other problems now but I can see that he feels good when he knows his homework is done and he stuck to the timeline - even when football is on:) His grades are not great but I have the edge with the school because they cannot say his lack of results are habits from home.

As the mother of three I know it must be tough. I have two and I'm barely keeping my head above water. Keep on top of the school to make sure his 504 includes every possible ADHD accomodation. Try your hardest to create that homework partnership at home.

Lastly, in terms of medication. I have tried numerous times to keep my son on a long acting med. For him, it just doesn't cut it. He is on short term medication with his last dose at 3:30 and we have not had any sleep issues. Just a thought - it's a pain in the neck to to ensure he has the three doses but the benefits he has experienced are major.

Your a great mom - stay strong and don't be afraid of the teachers or administration. Your son will model your strength and that right there is your key ingredient.

H.

If you are open to nutritional remedies that help this situation, call me at ###-###-#### tomorrow at @3:30pm.

Your child is a "blue" personality and it is normal for his brain to RUN 500 miles an hour faster than the rest of the other personality types. Focus is harder for this personality because they are very creative and want to do everything they see. They get very bored and are very bright.

EVERYONE is Trace mineral deficient. So I am sure he is. Trace minerals will give everyone the "balance" needed to function properly and this in turn helps focus a blue better. This is why the "DRUGS" will NEVER WORK FOR THIS PROBLEM!!! THEY MAKE THE TEACHERS HAPPY THAT THEY CAN BETTER COPE WITH THE ACTIVE STUDENT! Can ya tell I do not agree with drugs??

Anyway-if you want some sound advice for ideas to balance your child to help him with this test coming up-call me! It may be worth a try. I love to help people who want my help!

The children are the Wealth of the Nation!

God Bless,
VitaMomma